Calling Time on Wine - the next 100 days after the first 100 day reset | Thread 3: Continuing to support and navigate together.

[needastrongone]

As promised, a new thread.

As the title states, this is the third thread. It started for those of us who wanted some support and a safe place to navigate a 100 day alcohol reset. Most of us on the thread wanted more time and space than Dry January to fully reset and maybe reflect more on our relationship with alcohol than one month.

What we also found was the most wonderfully supportive and uplifting set of folk, all with the common intention of being AF from January for 100 days. A few blips along the way for some (including me at the beginning) but for those that have, we’ve tried to understand why they happened and most of us have continued to be AF going forward and managed 100 AF days since January.

We are going for another 100 (we all liked the idea of breaking being AF into chunks of time) and I don’t think it matters one bit if new folk want to climb on board and start from here, we can all offer a friendly and non judgmental place here.

Thank you all for the warm welcome 🥰 I am away for the next few days in an environment where I won't drink, so that's ok for. I found before that when I hit two weeks it became easier, so just go to keep going.

you've all done well getting passed the 100 day mark! Last year I had some blips at day 62 and then by the time I got to day ~86 I had totally F'd it 🤦‍♀️ looking forward to hoping crossing those 100 days this time (and beyond).

@Iamateadrinker brilliant news on the blood results, and clear evidence that every day alcohol free is worth it!

Hope everyone is doing okay this morning. I've just gone for a 7am run which has not happened for years!

Was having a wobble and feeling tempted for this weekend because it's the last alone before an intense family period...but instead invested in MnS sweets, biscuits and crisps on the way back from work last night. Not healthy...but needs must?!

@CoffeeCupMilk absolutely not! I’m still treating myself - anything but alcohol is ok at this stage. Well done in the run!

Morning.

@anewyearthisyear - I am glad we feel the same! I personally wonder if much of the anxiety and self loathing I felt while I was drinking that I attributed to other reasons was from the alcohol itself. Easy to see that now I guess. I wouldn’t worry about the lack of weight loss, you’ll be so much healthier anyway and I’m sure it’s much better to solidify the good habits re drinking first, before moving onto other aspects.

@Iamateadrinker that’s absolutely brilliant re the blood tests. One of my main motivations too. That’s testament to you doing the work. Fab!

@Ladymuckypuddle - the sleep I think is probably my favourite thing! The deep restorative sleep I’m getting. Yes, I’m good with my other sleep hygiene habits, but the huge contributory factor is not drinking.

@CoffeeCupMilk - eat the sweets. Theres time to tackle the other stuff. Well done on the run, another great thing from waking up clear headed!

We had friends over for a drink last night. There was a very fleeting moment where I thought I’d pour myself a glass but one person was drinking herbal tea and so I did that instead very easily and didn’t think about it again. DH and her husband has two small bottles each of a local IPA which they both enjoy and then stopped, which I think is exactly how you should drink, if you choose to do so! Previously I’d probably have had a couple of glasses of wine before they even arrived - jeez I’m embarrassed when I look back!

Morning all xx
You've all doing so well, and wow @CoffeeCupMilk a 7am run that's awesome, you just know that it would be awful to do this with a hangover!
@needastrongone well done on your resolve, it does help if there are others who aren't drinking as well doesn't it, my DH is the same, he could go and just have one or two and doesn't feel the need to carry it on, I get the taste for it and that's it!!
Day 14 for me today x longest I've not had a drink for about 2 years, we were talking about having some friends over for dinner last night and I did think to myself oh well I will have to drink wine when they come but Im not going to, I will get them some nice wine and I'm going to stick to the Af processco or something, I think its almost like a prop for me having the glass to make me feel like I'm being sociable - does that make sense??

That does make sense @PeacheyPeach ...like the ritual is part of it all...

@PeacheyPeach makes perfect sense, I am exactly the same. I realised that the ritual of pouring and then sitting down and relaxing with a drink is probably more important to my chill time than the drink being alcoholic. So I've been on the fizzy soft drinks to replace. Cawston press rhubarb is my current fave, it's delicious but not overly sweet so it feels adult.

Hope everyone's had a lovely sunny Friday.

Day 115 checked off for me and I think this marks the end of my dry streak. I feel much less stressed about my event now. I'm going to trust myself and just see how the afternoon goes without pressure on myself. I have to be up early on Sunday and I can't face that with a hangover, and I'm not desperate to drink, so I'm hoping that I can have a couple, enjoy them, at leave it at that...we shall see!

I don't plan to do another 100 days right away, but like I said on the other thread, I'll like to limit my drinking to once or twice a month max (without bingeing) and I'd also like to have a minimum of 100 days at least once a year, as it feels like a healthy thing to do. So tomorrow I guess is day 1 of this next phase, I'll see you on the other side!

@Raindancer101 have a great day out tomorrow and enjoy yourself. Please keep in touch and let us know how you are getting on. I will check out the rhubarb drink.

@PeacheyPeach makes sense to me I like to use a fancy glass for my drinks makes it feel more special. Well done on reaching 14 days that's a big achievement.

@CoffeeCupMilk a 7am run is something to be proud of. Can't go wrong with m&s snacks hope you enjoyed them.

@paintcolourchart we are all here to help you reach those 100 days.

@needastrongone well done on choosing the herbal tea. I am the same, embarrassed looking back at my faulty off switch and greed when drinking alcohol and also the amount of food I was eating when drinking as alcohol made me so hungry. Then of course the next day I just lived on eating pure crap.

Whatever stage you are at on your journey I am sending you all strength and good wishes.

Another dry day ticked off for me. Stayed up way too late tonight watching tv on a plus point I didn't have any snacks tonight, went out for another walk and had a lovely long bath washed my hair and done my skin care. Feeling relaxed and so, so glad to be sober.

Hi everyone, I hope it is ok to join this thread, I am at the start of my 100 journey after doing a few dry Januarys, feeling the benefits, then realising I can’t moderate as I’d like to. I find socialising the hardest part, and as soon as someone offers me a glass of wine, my resolve crumbles (it feels easier to drink than not to). I have lurked on this thread for a while and found it very inspiring to see that it can be done! So I thought I would join to make me accountable. I have set a 100 day goal on the Try Dry app, and off I go. Thanks all :)

Ooohhhh, can I please join? I've got some good form with time off the wine, but far too many day 1's, and genuinely love it when I'm not drinking. My goal is a life free of booze. Cannot for the life of me understand why I keep thinking "I'll just have one" after a couple of weeks off, and find myself still just having one the next day and the next and back to square 1. I would love to join this awesome group. DH actually sells wine for a living, so Ive managed to kick it with loads of wine in the house before, and I know I can do this!

Morning welcome @QldGCandproud @PercyTrevelyan always nice hearing from other people taking on the 100 day challenge.
@Raindancer101 enjoy your weekend it looks like the weather will be perfect. I sincerely wish you well, you've been a massive support. As @Ladymuckypuddle says it would be nice to hear how you are getting on.
@needastrongone I would always predrink before any social event to calm my anxiety. So I've never really entered a social setting completely sober. The past few weeks I've been out quite a bit and I've noticed not everyone is drinking and I'm now able to enjoy the moment with a clear mind and remember every moment.

Day 110 today, I went to the ballet last night and it's the last day of my week off today. Usually on my weeks off the last day would be spent suffering and trying to taper my alcohol after a bender so I could go back to work not looking a complete hot mess. I was never completely successful I think people must have had their suspicions.
There is a long running thread on chat every weekend "What are you doing today?" can't remember the exact title. I used to feel really sad reading through the posts and comparing it to my day when I was drinking.
Anyway wishing everyone a lovely weekend.

Welcome all newcomers! This is our 17th weekend for this thst started in Jan! Sounds like a lot and I can’t say I would have had better weekends drinking or at least none that were memorable

Morning all. Today should be day 14 but I drank last night. I want to chalk it up and carry on. Will catch up on the thread and try to gather my thoughts before tonight.

Hello Ladies ( and possibly gents )

Check in for day 111. Not a lot to report and I m not posting loads but wanted you to know I read here a lot.

You are effectively my support group .

Next (and hopefully last) trigger point is a black tie work event coming up in a week . We are always helping with the set up and pack away between dinner and it's a heavy drinking one.

The event organiser at work commented last week I was really helpful at the end last year - something I have no memory of .

Will try to do it on kombucha this year . I feel I ve got this far so it would be an awful shame to drop back.

Hi all and welcome newbies.

Day 110 here.

Had a very upsetting week, resulting from family members visiting the country I live in and who I hadn’t seen in 7 years. They were here for 3 weeks but I only got to see them once when I drove to where they were staying. I had taken the whole week off work thinking I would spend that time with them. But it became clear they weren’t prioritising seeing me, and I took this very much to heart. I live here in this country on the other side of the world on my own with my dog and no other family around me. There had been a big build up to them coming over here and I honestly expected them to take an interest in my life and where I live. But that was not the case.

I am 52 so not young, but inside I don’t think that makes a difference, you still feel the same as you would as a child who experienced disappointment.

Back in the olden days I would have stopped the noise in my head and numbed myself with wine, but this time I chose to feel all the emotions and live with it, walking lots, keeping busy and hugging my dog.

I can’t imagine going through this kind of hurt again in the near future so this was a big test.The family left the country and flew back to the uk yesterday.

Back to work on Monday and life goes back to normal thank goodness. My very simple peaceful life begins again with sobriety staying number 1 as the priority. I hate to think how I would have reacted if I was still drinking.

Hope everyone has a great weekend and remember- if anything comes up that’s triggering, you just have to think to yourself- today I will not drink.

Hello all hope everyone is having a lovely sunny Saturday, @Raindancer101 hope you have a lovely day and enjoy yourself, like others have already said, do drop in from time to time and give us your tips for moderating!! Xxxx
@PercyTrevelyan and @QldGCandproud welcome 🤗 i'm a relative newbie on here but the support is great 😃 and a good starting point is that you know you can do it, having already done dry jans in the past, I think changing the mindset of not being able to drink at social things is the big one isn't it, maybe check out what AF options are available or take your own with you if it's at someone's house that way if you want to not drink you're prepared!!
@QldGCandproud if your DS sells wine ask him to source you some really nice AF wine and come and tell us what is good 😊

@Lilly11a it's crazy isn't it how much alcohol can make us lose our memory, I have so many blank spaces from social events so I hope you have an amazing time at your black tie event - enjoy getting glammed up and being able to take it all in !!
@IjustbelieveinMe I'm so sorry that you've had such an upsetting week, that must have been so hurtful, at least you are in a good head space to deal with this, I loved how you describe your life as simple and peaceful, never let anyone destroy this peace so keep strong and well done for not crumbling and drinking because of the upset, so much more healthy ways to cope with disappointment and hurt and you've shown this

I'm so sorry, that really sucks. You did so well to hold your own and stay on course. I can imagine how much that hurt, after taking a week off work and looking forward to it. All I can say is thank-you for that example of being true to yourself in the face of disappointment. 🌻

@Raindancer101 really intetested to hear how your moderating goes. I’m off to sit in a sunny pub garden and would love to be able to enjoy a couple of drinks then go home and drink water.
For me I’m sadly still at the stage where I would drink to get pissed so two or three in the pub would end up with me getting a bottle on way home and then carrying on! Would probably have had a large one “ getting ready” too.
I do miss the anticipation of a cold drink in a garden but I need to just remember that I can’t moderate, if feel horrific tomorrow and I don’t really like myself when I drink anyway…
Happy Saturday folks!

@IjustbelieveinMe sorry to hear the visit didn’t go well. I live in a different country to my family and although it’s great to have family visit, the reality is quite stressful. And the same when I go back to UK to visit them, I build it up to be amazing to be back but after being a guest in other peoples house for extended amounts of time, I usually want to scream into a pillow after the first week. Here’s to a simple, peaceful life - and having a dog to hug.

was very easy to stay off booze today, I usually get to day 14 and start to crave a glass of something. DH went to the pub to meet friends but I stayed at home and had a Heineken zero. Looking forward to waking up clear headed tomorrow.

i have lurked on Mumsnet for so long, nearly 18 years, but very rarely posted. For some reason I named changed to my current name, god knows why, I think it’s a character from an Agatha Christie novel, but makes me sound like an aristocratic older gentleman who lives in a Cornish manor, but the reality is I’m a 46 year old living in less glamorous surroundings dealing with perimenopause and my daughter about to leave home for Uni. So I am really hoping for the peace and serenity of an alcohol free couple of months as I navigate these choppy waters..!

@IjustbelieveinMe sorry you had to go through that and well done for not numbing with alcohol. Day 114 for me here and I am still happy with my decision to just stop.

Morning everyone, I'm back at work today it's been a lovely break but I'm also looking forward to the routine of work. @IjustbelieveinMe it's so upsetting when people let you down especially when you've made such a effort to make time for them. Well done for not numbing those feelings with a drink and being there for yourself.

Day 111 today, over the past few days I've been completely exhausted again and my mood has been flat. I've been reading up on Paws (post acute withdrawal syndrome) and how I feel does fit the symptoms list. On a positive note it points to the fact my brain is recalibrating so I just need to remember to be gentle with myself. Oddly enough I always feel better if I've been out of the house amongst people even if it's just for an hour.
Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend.

@@Icecreamhelps same. For me a combination of paws and post holiday blues. As soon as mid afternoon hits I am just drained. I like the idea of socialising but once I’m out I just get really bored and tired after two hours. I know I need to work on this!

I’ve been steadily losing two pounds a month- not huge but I’m starting to get comments now - feels good and motivates me.

@SwiftyFifty I weighed myself yesterday for the first time in ages. I'm about 1st over my usual weight so I'm going to keep an eye on that. Well done on 2lb a month I'd be really happy with that. My social battery isn't the best but I always feel worse if I spend the whole day at home.