4 days without drinking, please help me keep it up

[Japanesejazz]

Ive drank nearly every day for the last 10 years and it was starting to get out of hand
I do like a drink so I’m not sure I want to quit forever but I don’t want to be drinking like I was ever again
My first goal is 28 days without a drink
Be lovely to have a bit of help, keep me strong etc

Would you consider jumping on an online AA meeting to help pass the time?

I stopped drinking 6 years ago to support a friend who was having serious health problems due to binge drinking. It turned out to be the best thing I've ever done I never intended to give up forever only until my friend was stable for some moral support but I've never restarted.

I grew up with a parent who was an alcoholic again binge drinking she would have something happen say she was cutting down and would but then it would sneak back in, my friend also relapsed once she had it 'under control' it started with 1 or 2 and progressed very quickly. I would be wary of thinking you've managed to kick the habit only for it to seep back in when your feel you've succeeded.

For myself looking back my own drinking while now out of control was definitely not healthy it was a coping strategy a lot of the time it was hard to adjust to not having a glass or 2 to unwind. I replaced it with other things nice soft drinks, a new hobby just something to do instead so it becomes your new go to.

Good luck it will be the best thing you ever do. Rarely have I met anyone who gave up and regretted it.

Thank you, I started using drink to cope when I was going through my horrific divorce
AA is not for me I’m afraid

Well done op.

If you're a visual person, you might like the Try Dry app. Each day you record whether you've stayed dry or had a drink and it marks it on a calendar. You can monitor things like money and calorie savings as well as track how you're feeling.

That sounds like a good idea
thank you

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Stop-Drinking-Now-Allen-Carrs/dp/184837982X/ref=sr_1_4?crid=3K32RTZACGYBU&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.vAPCOjTX8d7gPRApGdZyrcoTYB8kL7rHXHZSxWDdDv-ikiINEVPCijRE9cbsc_2T8c3X8_dUn0HM_JHrhSOG69M6UdJfL1TuhN4SNAbuHMqn8y7O8BZdQgEUSmnH0imRr816b3E9HErMk6Vu2tCsOft7x2c_pi1aOypuDuKg3MlCah4FpMwAIPWSQfRt8iUpR-xRgbHghepoIImvPT2uCPSgoft-rhnVnh2vsUIRgFY.RfIAjM55LrLkjjtXiBMEyNYs3xJWSazVPGUwDUg8u70&dib_tag=se&keywords=allen+carr+stop+drinking&qid=1769771476&sprefix=Allen+carr%2Caps%2C120&sr=8-4

i recommend this book to help you. It sounds too simple but it really helped me cut back drinking a lot - i gave up totally for about 5 months and although i still drink, not nearly as much as i did.

Op, as a matter of interest, why is AA not for you?

I will order the book
I have downloaded the app
I do not believe in the 12 steps

Well done OP that’s amazing

how are you feeling?

I’m feeling ok thanks
Try to take care of myself, eat well, move a bit more
Sleep is rubbish but that’s normal for me

Well done, keep going. If you feel ready after 28 days, aim for 100. I’d say that’s when the change really started to happen for me.

I was drinking more days than not and in the last year or so, it was every day, 2-3 bottles of wine a day. I’m 3 years sober in April.

One of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Nothing is easier because of drinking. I would never want to go back now.

Do look into support groups though. You don’t have to do AA. I’ve been to AA meetings, but not my cup of tea. There are some lovely groups where you can meet up for a coffee or brunch or a walk or do an online group. It’s made a real difference connecting to people. Bee Sober, Sober Circle, have a look at what’s local to you.

I'm sure your skin, general health and sleep will be much better the longer you can keep off the alcohol.

May I asked how much you drank a day and did you just go cold turkey or reduced it gradually?

Well done OP. Sending love 💕

I really want to get to 28 days, if I get there I will definitely reassess whether I want to set a new target, for now I am going to take it 1 day at a time until not pouring a drink every day becomes my normal
I have a friend who has had a health scare recently and been told to cut down on her drinking, I was thinking it might be good to support each other
I would say it was about 6 units a day but sometimes less and sometimes a lot more, I didn’t reduce
I just stopped, I haven’t had any side effects up to now

Good luck OP!

It’s easier after the first 14 days

5 days

Well done @Japanesejazz that is great progress; I bet you can notice a change already? Your skin and your face generally will be thanking you at this point!

Hi, what sort of age bracket are you in?
Do you have children?
Do you consider yourself an alcoholic or alcohol dependent?
I hope you make it to day 6, almost a week! That’s a huge achievement and already a quarter of your target done!
Is alcohol a habit (something you just do at the end of a day) or a crutch for unhealed trauma or a stressful life?

You super star! 4 days already is fantastic, you can definitely do this!

If you find yourself strongly tempted ask yourself if you can manage without for another 5 seconds. And then just keep asking yourself that, I managed that 5 seconds so I can manage another 5 seconds. Or another 30 seconds. Or another minute depending on where your mind is at. Because 28 days is really just made up of seconds and it feels much more manageable when you only need to look at what's immediately in front of you.

If AA isn't your thing what about a private counsellor specialised in addiction? You've obviously been through a trauma with the breakdown of your marriage and trauma and addiction are closely linked so if that's been a trigger it might help to get support with that as 'bottling it up' has not served you well this far. But you need to decide you're ready to do that work, noone can tell you to do that.

I'd also look ahead at the next 28 days if you feel able to and make a plan for any work/ social events upcoming that usually involve drink. I'd also be honest with friends that you're stopping and why so they can support you rather than trying to encourage you to drink as we often do to each other. Accountability in real life is more powerful than online although every little helps.

Lots of self care, exercise and early nights. Looking after your basic needs helps regulate your system and manages anxiety which can trigger the urge to drink. You could also make a list of self care/ positive outlet activities you can lean on when you're stressed. Some people put them on a note in a jar and just pick one out when they're starting to struggle or feel overwhelmed and then all they need to do is commit to doing whatever is on the note you pick out. It takes away any pressure to think of something and any decision fatigue.

This is totally doable and you can do hard things.

I’d recommend getting a notebook OP and just writing in it every day about what you’re feeling, what makes you want a drink, what makes you forget alcohol, anxieties, what you’re enjoying about the journey. Just to get your thoughts down and out of your head.

Really helped me when giving up (I’m almost 5 months sober).

Well done @Japanesejazz. you are doing great so far. I recommend you treat yourself to some fancy schmancy soft drink as a distraction and so you don’t feel as deprived.

If you do want some group support but don’t believe in the 12 steps there is also smart recovery which helped my friend enormously. There may also be others. Best of luck with your 28 days x

I’m on day 33, absolutely recommend the Try Dry App, Allen Carr’s ‘The easy way to control alcohol’ book and if you’re into science listen to ‘Huberman Lab - Alcohol’ podcast episode. I promise it gets easier, the first week was the hardest but I had an alcohol free beer every time a craving hit & it helped, going to stop that in Feb & move on to kombucha. Good luck @Japanesejazz!