4 days without drinking, please help me keep it up

[Japanesejazz]

Ive drank nearly every day for the last 10 years and it was starting to get out of hand
I do like a drink so I’m not sure I want to quit forever but I don’t want to be drinking like I was ever again
My first goal is 28 days without a drink
Be lovely to have a bit of help, keep me strong etc

Fist two weeks are the hardest as you rewire habits. A soft drink with ice and lemon or lime in a really nice glass can make you feel like you’re having a treat to unwind on a Friday or Saturday night. As PP has said, tracking with an app is helpful, and there are also various podcasts that are worth a listen. I decided to stop for a few weeks and a few years later I’m still off it - just didn’t go back and feel better for it. Good luck

I haven’t drunk since my breast cancer diagnosis. There is a strong link between breast cancer and alcohol. My motivation is to live to see my children grow up. Think of the bigger picture and what is more important to you than a drink.

Thank you all, these messages are so helpful
I am in my fifties
No children
I have formed an unhealthy habit don’t consider myself dependent on alcohol but realise drinking every day usually ends badly
I had a lot of counselling after my marriage broke down, the divorce took 4 years, I don’t intend to ever marry again so no chance of reoccurring trauma!
I am taking it day by day
A glass of Nozecco and a long bath last night and no grogginess this morning is a good feeling
Going for a long walk with a friend today
The book you have recommended is arriving today and I have downloaded try dry

Im day 20. Never though I could do it! It gets easier after 7 days. I used the app 'easy quit drinking' to track progress - money saved, health benefits etc which is motivating. Sleep as much as you can, distract yourself, eat nice food. You can do it!!

I found having an alcoholic drink in my hand while watching tv was part of my routine so I’ve tried to replace it with another ritual that’s healthy but feels indulgent.

I have a favourite cut crystal glass. I’ve bought some quite expensive non alcohol drinks and a selection of fever free light mixers in different flavours. I make the drink feel fancy, a sprig of rosemary from the garden or a slice of orange, lemon or lime on the side of the glass. Sometimes I go crazy and add salt to the rim and imagine I’ve just been handed it in a fancy cocktail bar. I also light a nice candle. I only have one or two drinks then have an early night and a good sleep instead of passing out.

I recommend Mother Root ginger drink (with live cultures great for gut health) Botivo (tastes like bitters, quite a grown up flavour), Spiced Rhubard by Drinks Kitchen and Coastal Spritz by Pentire drinks. These are very expensive but they work out cheaper for me than my several bottles of wine per week habit because I savour them and don’t binge drink them.

Definitely possible. I used to drink too much in my 20’s and early 30’s. A health condition meant I couldn’t drink at all for 6 months and during that time I realised drinking was not adding anything good to my life. Now I have 1-2 glasses on the weekend and don’t even consider having a drink in the week.

I was listening to an expert on this who said the test of dependence was less being able to give up ( ie Dry January or Sober October) but more the anticipation of drinking at the end of the sober period.

I think the trick is remembering you once didn’t drink and it’s perfectly normal not to.

6 days, thank you all the support and tips

@Japanesejazz keep going each day gets better. I'm on day 27 it took about 3 weeks for my sleep to settle down. My sleep is just wonderful now I'd forgotten how it felt to wake up completely rested.

@ParlezVousMangeTout love your drink suggestions I will try them. On the odd night ive been drinking sentia gold with ice a slice of lime and fever tree clementine tonic, it tastes similar to an aperol spritz and I find it relaxes me.

6 days is amazing, you're doing really well. I don't know you but I'm really happy for you. Well done!

I love not drinking. It's a whole area of mess I don't have to engage with or give any energy to, ever. I'm so pleased you're picking off the days, one after the other. Well done, OP!

You got this op, I’m currently on 37 days sober after abusing drink every weekend for 3 years straight and I have no desire to start drinking ever again. Your sleep pattern will get better over time, I wake up stupidly early but feel so rested & full of energy. Don’t miss it at all, and actually cringe now seeing those who drink every weekend religiously, complaining they feel shit on the weekdays.

Changing long standing habits can be really hard going. You are doing really well.

If you find yourself wavering, (not suggesting you will) maybe think of all the hours you've put into this rather than days. That bigger number might feel like a lot more to "lose".

Yesterday afternoon I went to the garden centre and found myself in the cafe having a slice of cake
Cannot remember the last time I bought one or wanted one!Would have normally just had a strong coffee, wondering if it is related
Another long dog walk this morning and swimming this afternoon

@Japanesejazz it most certainly is related, I NEVER ate sweet things until I gave up drinking, it’s your body missing the sugar is was getting from alcohol. I’ve totally gone with it in Jan; literally ate anything I fancied & had a hot chocolate every night. Bizarrely I’ve lost 2lb in the month, just shows how many calories I was drinking!! Be kind to yourself, the most important thing for the moment is not reaching for the bottle!

I have not had a drink in over 10 years, and went down the AA route. It was life changing. It helps to understand why you drink, and what happens to you when you start e.g. once you start can you stop? What effect has it had on your relationships? Do you hide it? If you think you might be an alcoholic (like me, 46, in a senior job, house, child, husband all in sobriety) learning about what that really means could also be life changing for you. Drinking is a symptom of what's going on deep inside. The 12 step program and a sponsor helped me to understand myself and why I needed to drink. People say AA is "not for me" without further elaboration. Have you been to a meeting? Wishing you all the very best whatever route you chose OP.

Find a nice non alcoholic drink to substitute. Helps with the habitual part of it. I mix juices in a cocktail jar, with ice and I quite like finding new combinations.

What effect has it had on your relationships?

@Littlewiseone Thank you for an excellent post.
This, I think is important. One of the crucial aspects of alcoholism is the effect drinking has on others - and the blast radius is wide.
My father made my siblings and my childhood unhappy and my mother was too frightened of him to ever defend us - not that it would’ve made any difference.
Family occasions, holidays, evenings out which should’ve been fun we dreaded.
It affected the family business he inherited and because of him jobs were lost.
I can’t think of a single positive.

7 days
According to the scales I have lost 8 pounds
Try dry says I have saved £41 and calories saved is 2737
My swimming was so much better today, did 1000 metres rather than my usual 600-700 and felt much less out of breath, wonder if that is also connected
Onto a new week, trigger point tomorrow will be turning down a gin and tonic on the train on the way home from the office
Going to tell myself, I do not want to do day 1 again!
I am loving the fever tree alcohol free spritz

I ask myself.. “Will drinking make this situation better/more enjoyable”… eg.. I’m on a train on the way home from work, or watching tv by myself, the answer is no. That moment might be more enjoyable or be more relaxed with ONE drink, but for me there is no such thing as one drink as I can’t stop. So is watching tv drunk better than watching tv sober? Definitely not, is being drunk on the train better than being sober definitely not. That’s what I have to remind myself when I feel like having a drink.

If was at a party and everyone was drinking then yes, my night would probably be improved by drinking too, but I’d still probably regret it the next day as I’d lie in bed and waste the weekend.

Well done!! 👏

It’s common to replace alcohol with a sugar addiction but I think it’s not the sugar it’s dopamine. When I’m not drinking I non stop scroll on Vinted I’m forever in search of the little “hit” of finding the perfect bargain. I’ve replaced alcohol addition with shopping addiction. It’s so far harmless though, I’m not out of control, most of it I just save to favourites and resist purchasing and even if I do it’s still much cheaper than my booze habit.

I gave up drinking nearly two years ago
i went to some AA meetings. One in particular I found incredibly supportive and inspiring. I did not seek a sponsor and have not done the 12 steps. There is no pressure to do so. I am not religious and was worried that it would be too ‘god’ focussed. Again this was not the case
i rarely attend AA meetings now but found it hugely helpful at the start. Just knowing you are not alone and hearing different people’s experiences was often shocking but also enlightening and sometimes funny
I’d give it a go - nothing to lose. And don’t go back if you don’t like it

8 days
Had a slimline tonic with lots of ice but no gin on the train

Well done! You got past that trigger point 🙌🏻