The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.
Warmer weather is coming. Keep an eye out for that first daffodil waving in the breeze, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Me three! One foot in front of the other today. We can do this 💜

Good luck all! We can do it.
Although my week has already started with some kind of issue that I need to fix 😩🤦 hey ho, onwards and upwards!

Ahoy shipmates.
Ive already had my breakfast as the BFF comes with baked goods and i cant eat them.

Loads of calls to do this week on the new project. My company, my way.
I have hung up my corporate boots (I'm bloody ecstatic) and I'd love to shout it from the roof tops but I'm holding it back as i need my son to move first.
My wider family have enjoyed my executive salary and perks far too much and this old bird has had enough. The bank of Wendy is shut.

I wonder how many headhunter calls i get this week that I can say 'no thank you' to? Always second week of January.

Good morning shipmates. Been in bed with lurgy most of the weekend. Sid has been looking after me, Still not 100% but mending.

Strength and courage to you. It will be alright. x

Happy Monday to all shipmates! If you got through the weekend - yay you! If you didn't - here's your chance at a fresh new start! 🌼

Talking of new starts, your new project sounds so positive, @WendyWagon - imagine doing all this while still drinking? Actually, I'm sure you did work your buttski off and achieved hard for years - but isn't it simpler, clearer and its own reward when you're not drinking?! (I felt a vicarious thrill at you shutting the Bank of Wendy to the family, you're going to see a few people's true colours, I bet... 😄)

Hope you continue to heal @REP22 - with Medic Sid on the case you'll be grand in no time... Is he diligent and solicitous and Lawrence Nightingale, or is it all a bit Carry on, Doctor with him? 'Nurse, the screens!' 😜

DH and I are on Day 9. He drank a lot more than me, and doesn't have a long-term quit behind him like I do, so I don't think he can quite see out of the quagmire yet or trust that it will get better... And he's grieving our cat pretty hard. He doted on her, and would get up early to tend to her, and have a big cuddle from her when he got in from work... he's missing that, and I just don't measure up! Time will pass and we will get a new cat. But her spirit is still around, in our hearts at least, so not yet. 😻

Onwards we go... ☕️

Ahoy!! Day 16 here.

Ahoy!! Day 16 here.

Ahoy!! Day 16 here and clearly a gremlin in my app.

Feeling really good about everything. I feel I am a lot better at ‘coping’ with the mental load of everything without booze in the mix.

onwards we go.

Checking in shipmates, happy Monday to all. Day… something 170, getting to the point of losing count.

Back to the grind today, been a busy morning in work and looking like a busy afternoon/evening as well.

Happy and content to to be sober and present in life.

Hello, checking in on day 12. I did manage a run yesterday and gave myself a sore throat because I was a 'mouth breather' 😂. I am starting to feel the benefits of abstaining now, sleep is better and I am less tired- (despite being woken at 2 am by daughter who had trapped wind and just need to fart)!

For everyone struggling, stick with it, keep re-starting if you need to. I have made a descison to not drink for 2026 and having made the decision I feel like I have taken the uncertainty away. Still early days but feeling positive and that my body will only feel better and better. X

Thanks @Gribouille - definitely a Nightingale and not a Hattie Jacques! I could see Sid in a little nurse's outfit; he'd like that. x

@REP22 So sorry you have the dreaded lurg. We've been calling it the 'sweating sickness' in our house. I like putting a Victorian or medieval spin on all modern viruses and bugs. Makes me feel slightly better for some unknown reason. Anyway sending a virtual hug and I do really feel for you 💗

Hello all, just checking in. Day one again here. I'm still on this cycle when I manage to go for a week or so without drinking, then panic and drink 😥Last week for example I started to worry that I hadn't cleaned the house. I know that sounds silly, but we have a back room and toilet that I hadn't cleaned for almost a year. Those rooms are used mostly by DH and in theory he's in charge of tidying them, but in fact he never deep cleans (opposite of me as I put off cleaning for ages and then deep clean very obsessively). Anyway, I drank a lot for two nights in a row and cleaned both rooms. They are all bright and shiny now (well, as bright and shiny as rooms full of clutter can be), but all of my drinking-related anxiety is back - honestly it wasn't worth it!

My biggest challenge I think is to stop using alcohol as a way of getting started on tasks I don't want to do. Part of the challenge is that this stupid strategy sometimes actually does work (since I can get the task done, as I did on this occasion, albeit with hazy recollection afterwards of actually doing it). But the downside is the aftermath of being hungover and anxious.

I know how fucked up this sounds 🙄Anyway I'm sober today. I managed to send some tricky work emails, so I'm happy about that.

Thanks @Lavrander for tagging me, and thanks @Onewildandpreciouslife for the suggestion of SMART recovery. That might work better for me than AA to be honest. I like the people in AA, but I seem to be getting progressively more intolerant of the Big Book rather than less!

It's amazing how many of you on this thread have studied literature! I studied literature too, and teach it 😂Reading fiction is one of the main things that keeps me sane (or more accurately, saner than I would be otherwise!).

I also really want to see Hamnet. I thought the book was great.

@WendyWagon you sound so positive about the future, I'm happy for you! And @REP22 feel better soon! @Becky3825 it's really good to see you here.

I'm going to try to check in every day here for awhile. IWNDWYT comrades.

I think we'd all like that, @REP22 ... 😍 Maybe a stereotypical 70s one, like I had as a Christmas present when I was about 5 years old, rather than the practical scrubs they wear now (though I'm sure he'd look lush in either)...

@elusivehope I have a cloakroom that is theoretically cleaned by DH, as he's the only one who desecrates/uses it, but I have to go in and do quarterly remedial cleans that are more than squirting half a bottle of Toilet Duck down it... 🙄

I never got drunk to do chores - on the contrary, it was a way of saying 'I couldn't possibly do any chores now...'. So I have to watch for a tendency to say 'Yay, I'm sober, now I can... do a load of chores...'. Really disheartening... I have to learn to 'allow' myself to bunk off sober occasionally... 🤔

Ha @Gribouille yes, well, I'm rolling the dice really whenever I go into 'get drunk in order to do chores' mode, because there have been plenty of occasions in the past where I got drunk and the chores did NOT get done.

You're right though that it's ok to relax when sober! For me right now a sober unproductive day is definitely preferable to a boozy 'productive' one.

@elusivehope that idea of using alcohol as a way of getting through tasks I don’t want to do is very, very familiar. I frequently used to find that if I had a dull task that needed knuckling down to, the only way I could face it was with a glass of wine in my hand. I now find that if I play music it has a similar effect- it’s almost like I need to turn off or distract part of my brain to get the rest of it to focus

The thinking behind the Big Book hasn’t changed since it was written in the 1930s. Have you read Quit Like a Woman by Holly Whitaker - she does a very interesting take down on AA: that it was written by and for white middle class men for whom the idea of service to others was radical. For women, serving others is just more of the same old s*!

Quit Like a Woman also includes one of my favourite quotes about sobriety -I’ll put it in a separate post in case mumsnet hides it!

I love this quote

For the first time in a year I’ve just popped
to the local co-op after the school run for a couple
of bits and didn’t buy any wine.

It wasn’t easy and even now I’m imagining that nice first glass feeling but it will pass.

Checking in - Day 6
All good and blood pressure has reduced a little (although still not great). I’ve cut out caffeine now too in the hopes that will help and have started Couch to 5K. I’ve just done the second run of week one and actually quite enjoyed it!

IWNDT 💜
World Domination Bitches! 😁

I love that quote @Onewildandpreciouslife.

Solicitations, @REP22, and all best wishes for your full and swift recovery. I'm sure Sid will step up to the plate.

Not much happening here. I need to get ready to go to a group thing tonight (not drink-related, it's a literary thing I do). I don't expect anything approaching full attendance, as the weather is grim, but it's a five minute slide for me, so I have no excuse. I'd rather stay perched on the sofa, but I'll force myself.

I slept really well last night, which is a blessing. I went to sleep somewhere around 11.15, and woke at 9.30. There were a couple of gaps along the way, but I did my thing of putting the TV on (the second iteration of Upstairs Downstairs, fact fans) and that stops boredom letting my mind wander to things that keep me awake. Old timers may remember that last time it was Downton Abbey - my sleep-craving self clearly enjoys domestic historical fiction😎. Anyway, even with the gaps I'll have got close to 8 hours, and for me that's amazing. I get a B12 injection tomorrow, too, and that might help me to be less lethargic. I hope so, as I'm so sick of being too tired to do anything then not able to sleep at night. By this time next week I might be Tiggering all over the place!

Are you retiring, @WendyWagon? I can't tell from your posts if you are setting up a company or winding it down😀. Good luck, whichever it is.

What is it with men and loo cleaning? It's as if they just don't see the very obvious, isn't it? One thing I found when I stopped drinking was that I started to care much more about the house. I spent a couple of years renovating, decluttering and decorating, and then hired a cleaner to keep it looking good. I suppose it was a mishmash of being more aware of my surroundings, having more money to spend and being at home more. My house is very different from how it was, and that wouldn't have happened if I'd still been drinking. It does make a difference to my mood - I enjoy staying in now, and getting up and coming downstairs into rooms that look like someone cares about them is lovely. Also, when things are clean and tidy it is so much easier to keep them that way.

Day 6 and still feeling good albeit a bit tired today 🩷

I confess @ShyMaryEllen i have retired from corporate life and it feels bloody marvellous. I've worked since 12 and even paid NI on my child modelling cash! I hadnt remembered that until I checked my pension.
I've not told my wider family as they will jump on it and think there's new money to be had! Not one sibling or niece /nephew sent me a birthday card. That's finally hit home. What pees me off is I basically paid for all the holidays uniforms, trips, some school fees and huge gifts when they were kids because so say i couldn't have my own children. Only one offered to help when I was so ill.

I've always been a contractor or employee building other's beauty brands. I've scaled these companies to nine figure buy outs. Most try to avoid paying me. Its pure greed on their part. After a company i own shares in tried to oust me and my fellow small shareholders I decided to walk. No more 'let it go', no more Mr Nice Wendy.
I'm still here for a reason and it ain't to make them rich! (the ungrateful little millenial shits).
So it came to me in a dream how I could help women and girls but still work with the swag I love. The mystics in our group might believe it was my late mother (she wrote a famous advertising strapline, got paid peanuts!)
I could quite happily sit on my arse all day watching Vanessa and countdown plus old films but this product needs a mouthpiece and now I'm sober I shan't cock up. I'm ready for it lads and its not about the money, its my legacy.

And I'll be on the telly box!

Evening shipmates!
Day 50 today which feels pretty marvellous. It’s been a while since I got there. Now I must continue.
@elusivehopei completely relate to the alcohol for tedious tasks challenge. And am not sure I’ve devoted a strategy for that yet-other than avoiding boring tasks!
@WendyWagonthis is a very exciting update! I hope it all goes swimmingly but am sure it will!

Hello, checking in on day 12. I did manage a run yesterday and gave myself a sore throat because I was a 'mouth breather' 😂. I am starting to feel the benefits of abstaining now, sleep is better and I am less tired- (despite being woken at 2 am by daughter who had trapped wind and just need to fart)!

For everyone struggling, stick with it, keep re-starting if you need to. I have made a descison to not drink for 2026 and having made the decision I feel like I have taken the uncertainty away. Still early days but feeling positive and that my body will only feel better and better. X