The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.
Warmer weather is coming. Keep an eye out for that first daffodil waving in the breeze, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Start of week 2 today and feeling pretty good if I’m honest! I still had weird unsettling dreams which makes me feel edgy when I wake up, but this morning I dragged my sorry soul to Hyrox at 7am 😱
Who am I??
I must admit peeling myself from bed at 6.15 took some doing, but I really enjoyed it and once we’d started I forgot how early it was. Home for breakfast and then started work - I’m WFH for the next couple of weeks before returning to the mayhem fully.

So I’m now alcohol free, caffeine free and…2lbs lighter. I was hoping for more but it’s going in the right direction.

Have dinner with friends tonight and I haven’t said I’m not drinking yet. My plan is to turn up with my AF of choice, if questioned I’ll say I’m doing Dry January and if pushed say I’ve had a small health scare. I’m feeling confident - maybe overly so, but I feel as if nothing can rock me now 💪🏼

I'm sorry things are so tough @eekwhatnow
These days are trying at the best of times. Well done for writing it out and recognising the trigger. Is there anything else you can do tonight just to get through?
Nothing wrong with a good cry.. I've had days where holding it in has been essential but when I get home a good episode of greys anatomy usually paved the way for a good old cry.

@WhatMaggieDid- Glad you're feeling so good and well done for getting out of bed!

Thank you all for the welcome and initial support. I'm feeling much firmer in my decision to stop.

It was wine at times for me but my big downfall was cider.

On the plus side, I'm losing weight and eating my calories rather than drinking them. Ready for a sober happy new me and if all goes well, another IVF attempt in the future (probably easier to fund when I'm not spending so much on drink!)

Day 2 and I will get further!

@Losingit25 Hi. I really like Aldi’s zero Sauvignon Blanc but they don’t always have it in stock so McGuigan Zero Sauvignon Blanc is my next go to as most supermarkets stock it. Freixenet sparking 0% is also drinkable and has the lowest sugar & carb content but I’m not a huge fan of sparkling wine although it’s always handy for a special occasion x

@eekwhatnow That all sounds so bloody hard. Some days can just feel so awful and like everything is against you and I totally get the need to anesthetise the feelings. We are here for you if you want to vent about it, please dont be hard on yourself, you are doing so well and it is very hard doing it sober sometimes. But it is even harder doing it hungover ❤️‍🩹

I was mostly a wine drinker. My ideal was a sherry/vermouth (or two) while cooking, then red wine with supper - never white - then single malt after - I lived in France and Scotland so made much fuss about knowing my way around the wine and scotch menus... 🙄

But really? I'd drink anything if I ran out of those... any old holiday crap or cooking wine from the back of the cupboard... .everything except tequila due to a Biblical-level smiting by it when younger...

Anyway, was going to write more but sleep is up and down and I am relating to those of you who are rilly rilly tired today... 😁I'm so impressed with people who are getting their exercise on, learning new things, pursuing new avenues, or even just dealing with crappy times without resorting to the turps... I salute you!

Plan: head on the pillow sober and come up smiling tomorrow!

PS Cabin Boy Sid don't need no nurse outfit, he's a tonic just as he is... 😍

@eekwhatnow yay for posting! So sorry it’s rough at the moment. I posted here a lot in the very early days-still do TBH! I have a rule if I want a drink I have to read my notes to myself and post here. I promise that drinking will make it feel even worse but you know this already and I hope you are feeling better as the evening has come. All the bad things I covered up with alcohol are much more manageable without it. It just takes time to see it. We are all here sailing the ship together. Just keep posting/swimming/sailing.
and thank you for the book recommendation!
@WhatMaggieDid sounds like you’re doing a phenomenal job! And wise to get yourself prepped for those tricky social situations.
@WorkMess2025 congrats on day 2!
@Becky3825 glad you’re doing well and feeling better! Your posts are always a tonic (no gin) to read!
@Losingit25 my sleep got better after a couple of weeks but I was knackered for a good month! And a couple of weeks ago I slept for 9 hours 😂 it will come!
@WendyWagon sounds like you have the last laugh on the skincare saga. It never ceases to amaze me how awful some people are! I hope karma bites him.
@REP22 I love the rest is history! Will have a look back for Marie Antoinette in readiness for my London gallivant.

Hello shipmates, I'm still struggling tbh. Have been feeling depressed and queasy over the last couple of days. I didn't think I had been drinking enough to have withdrawal symptoms, but they do indeed seem like withdrawal symptoms 😳I caved and had one drink last night because I convinced myself it might make me feel physically better. 'Tapering' and all that. Reader, it did not.

Anyway I've made it through today sober. I so want to do this. New academic year, new start. I had five meetings with different groups of students today - it was meant to be six meetings, but I got muddled and missed one. Oops! I feel tired tonight but surprisingly happy. It's lovely to see the students back after the break; they're all fresh-faced and enthusiastic. Part of me is looking forward to being back in a routine. I complain about work a lot, but there's something to be said for being busy and productive. My teaching load will be lighter this term, so I have a better chance of staying of top of it.

It was good to realise that I'm not the only one who is tempted to drink to get through boring/unpleasant tasks. @Onewildandpreciouslife I always listen to music when I clean as well! Music and a glass bottle of wine were my go-to cleaning supports. I need to modify the routine to music plus an AF drink.

Onewild, you also mentioned Quit Like a Woman. I did read that but it was ages ago. I checked to see whether I actually own the book, and I don't (it must have been a library loan), so I bought it today along with Clare Pooley's Sober Diaries, which I haven't read before. I remember agreeing fully with Quit Like a Woman and Whitaker's assessment of the AA Big Book. It's just very entrenched in the specific historical/cultural mindset of the men who wrote it: religious white men in 1930s America. So yeah, there's lots of stuff about how you need to break down your enormous ego and surrender and realise you are not God. This advice is not necessarily as useful for women, who tend to suffer less from enormous egos (the ones characteristic of, how did @WendyWagon put it? 'huge swaggering plonkers' 😂) and more from poor self-esteem.

When I first did the 12 steps and got sober 15 years ago, I used a book called A Woman's Way Through the 12 Steps, which was basically a rewriting of the 12 steps to make them more relevant to women. At the time that was helpful to me. But I just can't seem to get myself back into a 12-step mindset now.

Anyway I know that quit lit isn't everyone's cup of tea, but I read masses of it when I got sober the first time round, so I'm thinking I will give it a go again, why not. I like the idea of surrounding myself with examples of women getting sober and staying sober (yes, women! sorry Bill W and Dr Bob!), both in books and on MN. ❤

@eekwhatnow well done for posting about your work day and I'm sorry people were such bastards! Wishing you a better day tomorrow.

Welcome to all the newcomers and sorry not to tag more people! My brain is not at its best at the moment when it comes to keeping track of things.

I have FOMO now for the Marie Antoinette exhibition! Did you make it there, @REP22 ?

Speaking of exhibitions, I did this jigsaw at Christmas: the Arnolfini Wedding, which is a picture I love. It's in the National Gallery. I love the deep green of the woman's dress and the sweet little dog and the way the mirror in the back gives the scene additional depth and perspective.

Anyway it's by the artist Van Eyck and when I casually googled Van Eyck I found out that a once-in-a-lifetime exhibit of his portraits from across Europe is coming to the National Gallery later this year! Just one of those happy coincidences.

(I would share a photo of the actual completed puzzle, but I'm a terrible photographer and the light is so bad you can hardly see crucial elements like the little dog.)

I'm so sorry you're struggling @elusivehope - me too. It's so, so hard. Especially so when we've once pulled free and then find ourselves here again. But you are winning, you really are. Even though it doesn't feel like it at the moment. And @eekwhatnow - it can seem so relentless. But another drink will not fix things, not really. It is like closing a door on a burning room and feeling comforted and reassured, while the fire rages on unchecked within. But you know that anyway. I have found Catherine Gray's books particularly excellent for the re-reading at such times.

That's a great picture of the painting, which is one that I love - I bet that jigsaw was a bit of a challenge! It always intrigues me that it's called the Arnolfini Wedding - when the lady in question is quite clearly in an advanced stage of up-the-spoutness. That little dog knows something he's not barking. I do love an exhibition - used to go a lot. My favourites were a Titian one and a Pre-Raphaelite one, both at the National. I treasure the catalogues from them.

Is that the distant clang of the karma-bell I hear rattling down the highway with your numpty former colleague's name on it @WendyWagon? - I hope so, for 'tis long-overdue.

I did get to the exhibition again! Ended up having a very nice time, especially as I now knew the very bits I wanted to focus in on. @Carpetburn when you go, pay VERY careful attention to the portrait of the teenage Marie A on the left as you go in... 😉Brilliant.

Sid will be relieved that no nurses outfit is necessary @Gribouille ❤️ - but never let it be said that he is unwilling to engage. I got my debit card dirty in the MA exhibit gift shop again this afternoon. Mostly books. But judge for yourself whether the pennies I included on THIS trinket were well-spent... 😉

Keep going. I know it's so, so hard. But it is worth it and you CAN do it. Even, sometimes especially, when you think you can't. It is going to be alright. x

Let them eat kibble!

Sid looks unimpressed by his trinket. His eyes are so expressive, aren’t they?

Thank you so much for the support yesterday. I didn’t drink and I half remembered some quote I saw once that said something along the lines of no matter how terrible your day or how much you mess up, if you didn’t drink, you’ve still won. Didn’t feel much like a winner but did calmly make some plans to get through stuff and feel better for it.
Sorry you’re struggling @elusivehope it does sound like your mindset is in the right place though and I think you’re right about busy being better. Boredom is a real trigger for me. I’ve been reading Quit Like a Woman and have got the Joy of Being Sober but what I found massively helped me last time I stopped for a significant period was The Naked Mind.

Morning you lovely lot.
IWNDWYT 💜

@WhatMaggieDid 🥰
IWNDWYT 💪

Morning all, sorry haven't checked in in a while..I'm sorry to all who are struggling - I hope the feeling passes fast. As others say, a drink won't actually help - I find a run does. Especially with some very very loud music!

Well done @WhatMaggieDid , I'm loving starting the day with a workout although hyrox looks like a hard core start to the day so RESPECT!

@WendyWagon that all sounds very exciting and well done!

I'm feeling lousy today got a cold/flu thing..my oura ring is yelling at me to rest which is a bit tricky with my job 🤣 oh on that one, someone was asking re rem and deep sleep - I'm finding my oura ring is replay helping me improve my sleep - as is not drinking! No suprise 🤣🤣

I've got a bit of a shit time coming up - I think I mentioned before that my brother has terminal cancer, it looks like things are progressing horribly fast now but I'm determined not to make it worse by drinking. Instead of signed up for sponsorship for my half marathon for cancer research and shall run for him.

Welcome all newbies.
We've got this ladies
IWNDWYT💪 xxx

Probably not the quote you’re looking for @eekwhatnow but a similar vibe! Well done for hanging in there

Good to hear from you @ThistimeImdone . I’m sorry to hear about your brother. I think it somehow helps to acknowledge “this hurts, I want to escape from it”. We know that alcohol has helped us escape in the past, but comes with a side order of depression and self-hate, so we need to find other ways to bear the pain. Running is my weapon of choice too!

Morning all.

Bad night here health wise . Had to call the ds who's on sick leave.

Good morning shipmates from me and Cabin Boy/Powder Monkey Sid.

Sorry to hear about your brother @ThistimeImdone - that's so desperately unfair. Much love to you as you face this. Running the marathons and staying sober are amazing ways to be there for him and your family. I wish there was something better I could say that would help, but I know that there are no words that can really help. 💐💐

So sorry you had a bad night too @WendyWagon - hope things pick up soon. 💐

Sid did not appreciate his trinket @ShyMaryEllen - you are right. He was trying to watch the snooker as well, hehe. He's certainly not backwards about expressing his feelings. I think what really nettled him was that it was a headband, not an actual crown. He has got a crown, but it's not really aligned with his deck-swabbing duties...

Strength and courage. We're here and we're strong. We can do it. x

I'm sorry @WendyWagon , hope you're okay x
Thank you @Onewildandpreciouslife and @REP22 ), your kind words are appreciated 🥰

We should all have crowns, as we are queens of our destinies.

Sorry for your bad night, @WendyWagon, and love from me too about your brother, @ThistimeImdone. As @REP22 says, words are not enough.

If someone could invent something that gives the same sort of relief as alcohol without the negatives they would clean up. I suppose the trouble is that people have such different reasons for using it (although I expect there are very common themes) and the consequences differ widely too. Hey ho.

I am having another lazy day. I've been to the doctor's for a B12 jab, and have some work to do later, but otherwise my time is my own, so I am catching up with Ancient Brookside on TV and sorting out a mistake in my knitting. I know how to live, eh?

Keep on keeping on shipmates. One foot in front of the other.

@ThistimeImdone sorry you're feeling lousy and so sorry to hear about your brother. You’re right that drinking will only make processing it far worse. I lost both my parents recently and wasn’t drinking at the time - I was able to be there for them when they needed me, jump in the car at a moments notice and advocate for them in a way I wouldn’t have been able to do if I’d been drinking. Make the most of your support networks (in RL and on here) and do make time for yourself. Love and strength ❤️💪

Thank you all, you what a lovely bunch you are xxxx

@elusivehopethanks for the pointer about the books for women. I’ve been using AA to help me sta sober (scare stories in particular) and really have struggled to see how the 12 steps are at all relevant to me - a female atheist with low self esteem… not sure surrender is the right course but instead sheer sense of hope, strong will and acceptance of self. The AA stuff definitely feels male oriented.

I attended AA for a bit.
There are a number of steps I cannot do. For example I cannot forgive some people for the hurt they inflicted on me. The only way i felt strong enough to to fight back was when I had 'Dutch courage'.

I go and listen occasionally but I agree its quite man centric. My other beef was I'm not one drink away from dying.
However its free and most people are kind. It also encourages honesty. Thats tough for alcohol dependancy.