200 days alcohol-free- the second thread!

[FeelingLessTired]

Hello!

1000 messages snuck up on me on the first thread!!

@Goandygo

@paintcolourchart

@88expertprocastinator

any anyone else who wishes to join or return you are MOST welcome.

The aim is 200 days AF and/or beyond. There is no judgment here and we are supportive of all of us who wish to change their relationship with alcohol.

I stopped at Day 43 and have been drinking since then but am committed to getting back on this wonderful wagon.

Look forward to the next thread with all our wonderful MNetters.

Hi! Can I join?

I want to go completely alcohol free.

What have people found helpful in supporting them to do it?

I did a previous period with no alcohol and found this podcast really helped with my mindset

https://open.spotify.com/episode/3mnf8xpnsMdTKbcrybnptS?si=qrjBCdWmRpqxcWrXunqpfw

@Legssses hi and welcome.
Thanks for the link, I'll have a look later.
We started off on here wanting to go completely alcohol free, but whilst some have managed it, some of us are struggling.
I appear to be moderating.
The thing that made me completely af was a very scary accident ( resulted in major dental care), then medication ( for injuries sustained in accident). I was af for 6.5 months.
How long were you sober for before?
Are you drinking or have you already gone af ?

But feel free to post here for accountability. I'm on here most days.

I'm sorry to hear about your accident. It sounds scary!

I was af for about 4 months. On some level I feel ridiculous because I can go weeks without drinking anything, or very little, but I drink when I socialise and I always go overboard.

I get terrible sleep and I'm really embarrassed and irritable the next day and feel awful. Any more than 1 or 2 drinks really impacts me, but if im out drinking socially I can end up drinking way more than that.

ETA: I liked the simplicity of being af. I've tried and failed so many times to "just have 1 or 2" when I'm out and it never works. Always ends up as too many.

Thanks all. I'm dusting myself down today and getting on with it. I have two choices - either build on my failed submissions and do it again this year, or don't. The latter is bloody tempting NGL but I think I will regret it in a few years if I don't give it one more shot. Due to the set up of the course I knew it was a risk trying to do it the way I'm having to do it, so it's not a huge surprise but it is very frustrating. Nevermind, one final go for me then that will be it.

I am definitely keen to get properly healthy - there's so many positive things I do, vitamins etc that must be undone by wine so I'm keen to actually focus on myself now and that does include abstaining for me as unlike @Goandygo I am not able to moderate. I gave myself a free pass last night but quite happy to move on now.

Welcome @Legssses - I've found a few resources helpful. The unexpected joy of being sober is good, there's a Huberman Lab podcast about what alcohol does to your body and brain which I found useful (Episode from 22.08.2022). I've also found Chat CPT really useful to understand why I drink and come up with strategies to help.

@Legssses welcome!

biggest help I found was the alcohol forums and this particular chat. I came on every day - sometimes just reading - sometimes posting, but the stories and support kept me focused. Another big thing was committing to not drinking that day only, every morning. I read a couple of books but didn’t really identify with them.
@paintcolourchart would definitely be a shame not to give it another go!

Afternoon, tribe, how are we all doing. Not so good here - spent all morning being sick.
I had a great day yesterday with my grandchildren. By 4pm I was considering wine. I wasn't craving it. I knew I was going to have it for 'something to do', which I acknowledged and even thought quite sad.
Anyway, had 2 strong painkillers through the night which I know make me vomit, but took them anyway ( being drunk = stupid decisions). They're not even prescribed for me. Another piece of stupidity.
My only saving grace is that I was so entertained watching the tennis, I didn't text shite to anyone.
I really want to go af. I keep reminding myself of how great I felt. And I know I'm feeling ill and sorry for myself today, but I really want to be alcohol free.
What day are you on @Legssses - I meant to ask yesterday. @paintcolourchart hope you're ok, and @88expertprocastinator I know you're smashing it 💪
Shall we start a new thread, and what shall we name it ? 🤔

Only day 2. But you have to start somewhere.

I hope your day improves @goandygo

Day 1. Almost through.

Thanks friends for being so faithful to my thread when I abandoned it.

Hope everyone is okay and I hope to join the new thread when someone else starts it.

I ended up drinking again last night, so much for getting over it. I've got a mini bottle of wine in the cupboard and NGL I've been thinking about it for the last few hours. This is very unusual for me, unheard of in fact. Other than at festivals as a teen I'm not sure I've ever drank 3 nights in a row, and yet here I am not even sure if I'm going to try to resist. I know I need to sort my life out but honestly I'm finding it really hard to navigate. The results this week were more than just a failed exam, it means I have to uphaul my life yet again to do it again this year. It's making me doubt myself, my abilities and whether this is really worth it. I am currently self employed in my field (due to having DC) and this is probably way way outing but it's a protected profession and now because I haven't passed I can't use the official title. My work will say the same, my business will stay the same but I'm just questioning if it's all worth it and whether I repeat or fuck it all off. But if I do that it's years and years of study gone to waste. Finding it tricky to navigate and I know the answer is not at the end of the bottle. I know getting on with it, getting healthier and going back to the hobbies I enjoy doing is what I need but right now I just don't think I'm strong enough.

nice to hear from you @FeelingLessTired, glad you're still here. How have you been doing?

sorry a bit of a self indulgent post, will catch up soon x

Oh Hugs @paintcolourchart . I am so sorry. to you again.

I;m okay. Still hanging on. last 6 months have been brutal but I'll explain more in another post.

I've started a new thread....Gain support, strength and motivation.....I don't know how to link it, but if you've not all found it by tomorrow, I'll learn.
❤️

Found it, here's the link: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/5501001-gain-support-strength-and-motivation-from-each-other-as-we-continue-to-aim-for-an-alcohol-free-life-one-day-at-a-time?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

Sorry I didn't mean anything by my daily drinking comment btw, I know there are daily drinkers on here and no judgement at all - I don't usually drink every day but I am in no way on my high horse when it comes to wine! I just meant it's not my usual pattern and it's getting worse not better. Onwards and upwards. New thread, new start x

Hello, how is everyone doing? @Goandygo@88expertprocastinator@StillFeelingTired@FeelingLessTired(not sure what username you're using 😅) and everyone else on here?

I'm back on it. 3 weeks today and keen to keep going. I realised last night that if I keep going until the end of next month, I'll have done further than I did last year. Seems achievable! It didn't this time last year. Feeling really good. I actually scrolled through and read all my posts on here the other day. Around day 16 I noticed a massive debloat, and when I reread my posts on our first thread the same thing happened last year at a similar number of days. Very motivating!

I'm an idiot and posted on the wrong thread. Posted on the new one now!

Still struggling to get to 100 days this year. In the 90s but old habits are back.

Can I please join?
I was a very happy daily drinker although clearly this was not a good idea.
any how i reluctantly decided to try and stop various reasons that I can’t really detail here.
so since 8th February I have been AF free.
im actually sort of okish with it but life does feel flat and dull.
the thoughts of never having a glass of rose again makes me feel despondent
but i think id just slip back into daily drinking again.
does it get better?
or is life just different?

It's different and you learn to adapt. I'm at nearly 11 months.

I think it's important to try and frame it in your mind that it is different, otherwise you can fall into the trap of everything feeling flat and a bit dull. Honestly there are times when it does feel flat and dull, but there are compensations in never feeling rough the next day and in being totally in control and far, far healthier.

It can feel flat and it's important to then occupy yourself doing something else. Getting engrossed in a book, a hobby, something on TV etc.

It's also important to tick off all those firsts ... first birthday, Christmas, holiday, big family occasion, party etc. I've actually done most firsts now apart from a big party although I have done smaller celebrations. I'm about to do my third holiday.

When the weather was really good the other week I did have some pangs of how nice it would be to sit in the garden with wine, but you just have to squash the thoughts down and make sure that you have alternatives that are acceptable to you whether they be AF beer, wine, spirits or soft drink options.

Whenever I am out somewhere I now just automatically ask for Zero beer and a Sprite and mix to make a shandy and do that on holiday as well. If I am going to friends for lunch etc I take AF wine for me and a bottle of normal for them. Similarly I make sure I have AF wine in when we are entertaining so that the ritual feels the same - albeit that the alcohol is not present in the glass.

I also try not to overwhelm myself in thinking that I will never, ever have another drink again. I try and stay in the present and the immediate future without spooking myself of the forever which can seem very daunting sometimes.

But I also have a very very big but here. I was diagnosed with oral cancer last Summer and had surgery to remove it. It would be madness for me to drink again so my reasons for not drinking are extremely strong. But I still miss wine even though I know that I will not succumb to drinking that poison again.

The wine is the likely culprit of the cancer I had.