200 days alcohol-free- the second thread!

[FeelingLessTired]

Hello!

1000 messages snuck up on me on the first thread!!

@Goandygo

@paintcolourchart

@88expertprocastinator

any anyone else who wishes to join or return you are MOST welcome.

The aim is 200 days AF and/or beyond. There is no judgment here and we are supportive of all of us who wish to change their relationship with alcohol.

I stopped at Day 43 and have been drinking since then but am committed to getting back on this wonderful wagon.

Look forward to the next thread with all our wonderful MNetters.

@paintcolourchart it doesn't sound pathetic at all - I think the early days are the hardest ❤️

Regarding journalling, it happened quite naturally for me. I've always been a writer, always wrote in a diary. As I got older ( and as a teacher), life was easier if I wrote it all down. Not just my daily personal / work targets but things that I worried about.
Do you have The Works shop near you ? They have lovely journals. Only about a fiver. Lots of different ones, they also serve as gratitude journals ( and provide structure).
I write mine in the morning. I sometimes refer to the last few days just to see if what I was worried about really was worth worrying about ! ( it never is, so I've gradually stopped worrying about stuff !).
If I'm feeling overwhelmed throughout the day, I will pick it up and write down what exactly is bothering me. It stops me from drinking definitely.
Hope this helps and well done on Week 1 ❤️

@Goandygo I found the early days easier last time as I'd really hurt my ankle on that night out. I also went away for a week where drinking was off the table due to sharing a bed with my DS. This time it's just a cold January where everything has been shut over new year and now everything is closed again because we have an insane amount of snow 🤦‍♀️ so the days feel a bit long with DS who is definitely feeling the effects of no routine for the last few weeks and being stuck in. We were supposed to be going back to routine tomorrow but his nursery is now closed. Never mind. We shall make the best of it. Now my intense study is finished it theoretically should be easier to abstain, it's just adapting I suppose. I also have the results of my ankle MRI on Friday and I'm sure that will be sobering (excuse the pun 🫣).

Thanks for the info about journaling. We don't actually have a works nearby anymore but will keep an eye out for something nice and will give it a try. I came across a graphic the other day which I think illustrates the concept of journaling quite well. I shall dig it out and post here.

@Goandygo

Morning, all
How's it going?
All good here, day 6 and pretty much as confident as I was last year. I've got a few things on but I'm determined to get 30 days in the bag.

Morning @Goandygo - going better here thank you. It always seems to be around day 4/5 that becomes so tempting to give up but I got through and now it feels a bit easier. I also looked back at some photos from the summer where my skin looked lovely and fresh and I remember feeling positive, so I know I just need to give it time. It's definitely been easier over the last couple of evenings and today is Day 10. I'm floating on the other threads on the go atm which is really helpful and that Ian Callaghan's posts on Facebook are really motivating.

I've restarted my crystal counting (that really did help me!) but I've broken it down into getting to week two, which isn't far off now; then the end of the month, then the same length of time as last time (62 days) and it seems much more doable than it did on day 10 before! I think it was around that time that you were in the 30s @Goandygo and I remember thinking there was no way I'd get up to that, and then before I knew it I'd doubled it myself.

It's funny that I've had to give up gluten etc over the last 6 months and that has been fairly easy, even though pasta and pizza were my favourite things, and I can no longer just have any biscuits or cake I feel like, but that has been pretty easy because I can see quickly how my body doesn't like those foods and how it makes me look/feel. Alcohol is basically the same thing as it makes me look and feel horrible (after the time of drinking) but for some reason it's so much harder to switch that switch off. Getting there though, and last year's 'practice run' definitely helped.

I've looked at some journals too and I think I'm going to order one when deliveries pick back up again (we currently have a ridiculous amount of snow!).

Well done on day 6!

How's everyone else doing?

@paintcolourchart you're doing really well and well done on Day 10.
I remember how positive you were when you were on a roll last year. Life just gets in the way sometimes but I believe you can get more af days done. Great idea to break it down.
I know what you mean about the sweet stuff. I was having far too much of it. I've done well this week cutting back - so proud of that.
( smiled at the journal update) ❤️

@Goandygo I know, I was annoyingly positive! 😂 I did feel really great though. Would love to go back to that and add to my weigh loss (before it creeps back up again!). I mean more about food intolerances with the sweet stuff as basically everything cake/biscuit based has gluten/grains in, and the GF alternatives usually have grains and a load of rubbish ingredients so I tend to steer clear and attack the dark chocolate instead. I realise the disconnection here between health and wine consumption! I'm very much a label reader, but organic where I can and cook a lot from scratch, but for some reason it's taking ages for it to sink in and react to how bad wine actually is for us! Everything else I've switched off from really easily.

I'm excited to give the journaling a go! I'm going to get one with a lock on it just so I feel completely free to write whatever I please. I doubt my DH would have any interest in what's in it (and DS can't read yet) but I'd still like to keep it just for me if that makes sense!

@paintcolourchart when I was teaching, and I did love it, I was once described as annoyingly positive 🤣
I thought of you on the other thread because someone stated how health conscious they are, but when it comes to wine, they don't care 🤣❤️

@Goandygo I read that too and definitely related!!

Finding myself tempted to press that 'fuck it' button again tonight 🤦‍♀️

@paintcolourchart just finishing work - how have you got on ?
Do you have wine in the house ? Apologies if I've asked before.

@Goandygo actually not very well.

DH rang while he was in Tesco asking how committed I was to DJ. I mumbed about being committed on one hand but not on the other.

He knows I've had a trying few days due to nursery/school closures having just had 2-3 weeks off, with work I need to catch up on. I'm self employed so obviously he's gone merrily back to work while I've put all my clients on hold while I look after DC, whose been difficult probably because of cabin fever and he's bored.

He knew I would say yes if he fancied wine, he knows I can't easily stop. I've had a bottle of wine and then suggested another short. He said no and gave me a look like I was the worst person ever.

I probably am. But a few months ago he would have suggested more than I've had now. I've had a measured spirit with a mixer which I know is too much after a bottle of wine but part of me, irrationally I know, feel like well you know what I'm like after I have something, so why even suggest it if you're not prepared for that. Fine don't have one with me but he's fucked off to shower.

I KNOW I'm being completely irrational. And I KNOW this means that I need to stay off because once I start I can't easily stop. I've been following all the other active DJ etc threads and in the back of my mind is 'oh well maybe I'm not that bad' but I know I have the potential to be.

Fuck sake.

I also know that I was starting to feel really good. I looked in the mirror the other night and thought I looked a bit shit, actually, but today I felt like I actually started to look fresh. But I caved too quickly.

i know I need to stick to this but it's going to be hard, which is so ridiculous. It's just a drink ffs. Why is it so difficult?

Sorry, me again!

I also feel slightly annoyed that DH has gone to bed in our room. We've slept separately a lot lately as he snores a lot, so he tends to go up to the spare room so we can both sleep. The fact he's gone to our room makes me feel like he's being a bit controlling (I've considered this before about other things).

I probably am being irrational, but I'm just annoyed. I also wouldnt have felt like this if I hadn't had wine earlier and now I'm going to feel like utter shit tomorrow.

Ffs. What is wrong with me. i should just be tucked up in bed on my 11th day sober.

Don't worry about it. It's not the end of the world. You're having a trying time with work and looking after the little one. You're doing your best.
Put it behind you and try again. 10 days was brilliant. I bet you can do it again.
January is a horrible month. We're all cold, tired, skint - all the Christmas fun is over. Tempers get frayed.
Keep doing your best. It is so difficult I know - look at those like minded people trying the same. We're all in the same boat ❤️

@paintcolourchart oh you poor thing - don’t beat yourself up. It’s not ideal but you are learning from every experience.

It does feel very unfair that we can’t just have 1 drink then stop or that we can’t just drink whatever, whenever we want. but the thing is, we are problem drinkers - for whatever reason, we just can’t stop like other people. I’m at nearly a year and my DH has continued drinking throughout but he has always supported me and discouraged me from drinking - he’s had to get used to doing it solo. Maybe a chat with your hubby might help?
@Goandygo im with you on trying to cut out the sweet stuff. This week I have avoided ice cream and cake and switched back to sugar free chocolate but god it’s hard!
currently reading alcohol explained which I’m not finding especially useful or insightful. Really only got it cos I hoped DH might pick it up for a read but so far he’s only used it to rest on to write the Costco list! He’s still doing dry Jan but I suspect the upcoming weekend will prove to be his undoing. Fingers crossed but I’m determined to keep out of it and keep quiet.

hope the next few days are good for us all x

@88expertprocastinator Alcohol Explained is the one people rave about, but I'm with you. I just can't read Quit Lit. I'd use it as per your dh, too.

I've limited myself to just 3 x treats. 300 cals in total, so a kit kat, a bag of low cal crisps etc. It's worked for me in the past.
Though at 3am I was to be found eating a mini pork pie 🤣
It's brilliant that you're nearly a year - amazing 👏

@Goandygo the pork pie is hilarious- I may have got up at midnight on Saturday and eaten a bowl of ice cream - a low point for me … I’ve stocked up on sugar free jellos at 5 cals a pop and so far so good!

Right I've sorted myself out. I've reset my apps and will do the same to my crystals today. Today is Day 1. I want this to be the last Day 1 because I'm just so sick of it. it literally brings nothing to my life anymore.

I used chat cpt earlier and it really helped. I basically told it everything and asked it to support me quitting. Very helpful and would 100% recommend! I normally don't care for AI but it was incredibly helpful

Good for you @paintcolourchart - you know without a doubt you CAN do this. I’m with you in the day 1’s - I don’t have many of those left in me so I just have to stick with it. I didn’t even try to quit until 19 Jan last year so you're still ahead of me in the commitment stakes! When those thoughts come rolling in do you have something to do that will distract you? I did a lot of evening yoga classes, dog walks and early night (very early) and I still have a cbd drink every night.

talked to DH about how well he’s doing last night - to be told he’s thinking about just drinking again and not to pressure him etc etc. my worry is that the volume and speed at which he drinks is increasing and really has an impact on my life. He chose to do dry Jan but seems to be just white knuckling it and not actually thinking about how he’d like to drink etc. it frustrates and scares me, but I feel like a hypocrite as I did the same before I quit!
I am very clear that I do not want to live with someone who is getting sloshed every night- no arguing or anything like that - he tends to just fall asleep after a bottle.

Has anyone been reading SwiftyFifty's pasted posts on the 100 days thread, from Ian C on Facebook? The one posted today about permission is spot on for me and is along the same feedback I've been getting from ChatCPT (I know I know but it is really helping me understand things). I'd never thought about it like that before.

@88expertprocastinator I do have a list of things I'd like to do - various craft projects, reading my book, having a nice relaxing bath and various organising/tidying projects around the house. I actually told ChatCPT my list and asked it to use it to help me on harder evenings. I think I need to get more soft drink variety and enjoy trying them again, including Trip. That really helped last year.

How do you feel after your chat with DH?

@paintcolourchart a bit frustrated -the decision has to be his alone but I know he would like to cut down and I don’t really know the best way to support him. I haven’t actually voiced how I feel as he does get very defensive so I guess I’ll try to keep quiet for now and see if he makes any meaningful effort.

Just checking in. @Goandygohow are you doing? I've not seen you posting on the other threads for a few days so just checking how you are?

@88expertprocastinator I suppose we all know that it has to come from the person, but it must be frustrating to see when you're so far in yourself. How far off a year are you? Must be getting close now!

I'm doing much better. I've learned (through ChatGPT, I know I know 🤦‍♀️ it does get some facts wrong but so far I can't fault it for being a 'coach') that for me it was always about regulation. I never realised that before but it makes so much sense. I'm reading a lot of Ian Callaghan's posts which also seem to reflect similar. It's totally reframed things for me. I guess I did always kind of know - I don't know if any of you remember that post I put up back in the summer which was something along the lines of 'you don't need a drink, you need a walk/hug/chat with a friend etc etc which did resonate but now I understand why. It's been a gamechanger tbh. Today would have been Day 16 but because I had that blowout on Day 10 it is Day 6. The last 6 days have been so different to before though.

Hi, I'm still here.
@paintcolourchart I've not really been posting on the other thread. It's quite quick moving, and I've lost momentum 🤣
Well, Saturday we went to the party. I asked dh to get me an af perroni. He got me a large white wine.
To be honest, the wine is the least of my problems. He keeps forgetting stuff. He got lost on the way ( with sat nav !!!). There's other stuff too. I'm keeping an eye on it. He's 62, very fit physically - he seems too young to be having mental issues?
Anyway, I drank at the party and had a bottle of wine when we got home. And I smoked.
Sunday I felt dreadful. So ill.
Anyway I'll keep trying.
@88expertprocastinator you are SO close to a year.....a few days I should think. You've done so well ❤️
@paintcolourchart well done on Day 6 - you keep doing what works for you ❤️, and thank you for checking in 🙏

@Goandygoyes it is very quick moving! I have to say I have been reading it still though. Very inspiring to see everyone managing, I just hope anyone struggling isn't deterred. I almost did post about my slip but didn't know if it would be read as 'permission' if that makes sense, so decided not to!

Your DH does seem young for memory issues (I think?), but I would be a bit worried about that too - caveat I have zero experience but I would definitely be encouraging a GP app. Good idea to keep an eye on it, I'm sure it's a worry though ❤️

I mean I can see why you drank in the situation tbh. But think back to this time last year and how your relationship with alcohol was then compared to now. You've made absolutely huge progress.

Thanks, @Goandygo. I'm feeling really good atm. Went for a swim and sauna first thing as well which I'm sure helped!