100 days

[GreySkySummer]

I’m going to aim for no booze for 100 days which will take me to early December, would anyone like to join me?

This will be a massive challenge for me- I’ve been drinking a lot every day. I failed at dry Jan this year, and have had another couple of attempts which have gone south. I’m taking it very seriously this time and going to really do all the other things to try and make it work.

My drinking has slowly crept up over the last 5 years and I’m now really scaring myself and I feel so ashamed. I drink over a bottle of wine a day and keep a lot of it secret from my dp- I just feel totally disgusted with myself.

Anyway enough of the pity party- I’m hoping this will be a really positive experience and would love some company!

Hope everyone’s coping with sober Friday ok.

I’ve not been back from work long so managed to miss my worst time for cravings, I’m also so tired all I can think about it getting into bed.

welcome @CheeseNcrackerz what an inspiration you are!

@Justwanttobebythesea thats great you went out and didn’t drink, much more of a challenge than home. I’m starting to feel a bit worried about tomorrow night- it’s a very old friend’s birthday, I find her totally draining and often drink a lot when I’m with her to get through it, I really can’t not go but really need to be steadfast and not resort to booze to get through it.

Also hope people struggling with sleep get a good night tonight

@Justwanttobebythesea are there any others going tomorrow night? Could you message her in the morning and say that you want to come and see her etc but that you haven’t been feeling great so may not stay the entire night? Then go and show your face have an AF drink and leave? X

Can I join please? I’m on my day 13.

I have been worried about my drinking for some time. I can’t moderate at all. If I go out to drink I have far too much. My husband is a very rare drinker who just seems able to take it or leave it and he expresses concern sometimes at how often I drink. It got to the point where I was drinking daily and hiding it from him. I wasn’t usually drinking loads- 2-3 mini bottles of Prosecco each day (which is loads really isn’t it?) but it alarmed me that I was hiding it, buying little bottles coz they were easier to sneak into my work bag to dispose of at Sainsbury’s local in their car park bin etc. that’s not normal is it?!

One of my parents is an alcoholic. I saw them recently for the first time in months. They looked dreadful. Sort of grey. I don’t want that for me.

I am late thirties with two dc and a fairly stressful job in education.

I have done 70 days before a few years ago and one of my friends who lives out of town saw me for the first time in a while. She couldn’t believe how good I looked. I want that fresh, well rested face again!

Well done everyone!

@GreySkySummer, it might be a good idea to have an escape plan for tomorrow night so you can leave early.

I went swimming earlier to avoid the witching hour but extra tired from this week and planning a lie in tomorrow.

Well done everyone and welcome @Namewitheldagain. I didn’t do the small bottle thing but I would work out units of things to make sure I got my fix - ordering higher-strength beers and things like that.

Hi @Namewitheldagain welcome! good job on your 13 days! My partner also doesn’t drink and I have also sorts of dysfunctional tactics to hide how much I’m actually drinking from
him 😔 It’s feeling like a relief to not have to give that head space any more.

psyching myself up for tonight- I’m fairly confident I’m I won’t drink but really not looking forward to it

I am alone today. Kids with their dad and partner away with friends. I have been busy with a uni assignment and lots of laundry plus dog walking and a run. Amazing really coz normally, knowing I’m alone until tomorrow id have started drinking at lunch time! Then be scrabbling around to wash glasses and hide bottles tomorrow morning.

im going to a restaurant tonight with two work friends but its far enough and rural enough that i have to drive unless i want a very expensive taxi. Here’s to day 14

I've just had a battle of wills with myself at dogwalking time - whether to drive up to the local park, which is conveniently opposite the local shop, or to walk out the door on foot and stick to a nearby footpath. I made the sensible decision (for a change!) and am home without wine. Stay safe everyone!

We had a very busy day out with the kids and have only just got back. We stopped at the local shop on the way home and my partner said he was going to get a few beers and did I want anything and I said no, got home and he offered me a beer, and said just have one…beer doesn’t really do it for me so I was able to resist, and explain to him that the issue with me is where he can have just one beer, I can’t just have one wine, I’d want and have the bottle! So we’ve ordered a takeaway and I’m looking forward to that and an early night and feeling fresh tomorrow which will be a lovely contrast to last Sunday where I felt horrendous! Well done everyone getting past thier cravings! Almost one week DONE! X

Hello! Could I join you, please? I need some accountability as I would like not to reach for the wine on the weekend but always think, "Why not?" and crumble on a Friday night. I'd really appreciate having a place to check in. It might just help me over the temptation.

How is everyone today? @GreySkySummer and @Namewitheldagain how were your evenings out?
hi @MerylSqueak I like having a place to check in too, everyone who knows me knows I like a drink but I think they’re unaware of how much I was drinking and I didn’t let them know how much it was impacting me as in worrying what damage etc it was doing and that I felt like I wouldn’t be able to just stop. I’m day 8 now and feel like the hardest part of the weekend is done but there’s still a trigger for having a glass (then the bottle) with Sunday lunch, although I always felt bad about it even when I was having it as I knew Monday morning would be harder, so I am keeping that thought in my head and am hoping tomorrow once I’m out of the danger zone of the weekend and in the working week it’ll be less hard. I do find myself romanticizing alcohol a bit at the moment and it all feels a bit like I’m white knuckling it so I think I need to think of some more strategies to get me through or do some more reading on it etc so I don’t just cave! How is everyone else doing with it all? X

Hi @Flowersareblue thanks for thinking of me.

I went out for an Indian meal (which was delicious by the way). As I said, I had a bit of a drive to the restaurant so I knew I didn’t want to be paying for a taxi back. I had three alcohol free beers which were good and made me feel like I was still having a bit of a treat and I didn’t feel guilty eating an entire mixed starter since I was saving calories on alcohol. The drive home was a risk because I could easily have gone to Tesco express and got a bottle of wine but with the house empty I was actually worried about how long the dog had been alone so hurried back to him. Woke up this morning refreshed and took the dog out for an hour. Feeling very proud.

im definitely sleeping better although its harder to fall asleep but i dont want up thirsty at 3am with heart palpitations and I actually feel refreshed when i get up. This morning i thought my skin looked fresher too- maybe just a placebo effect. But the. I went to church and a lady who goes said i was looking well so maybe there really is a difference!

Hope you do ok with Sunday lunch today!

I’m alone until the evening so I’m busying myself with cleaning the bathrooms and heading to Tesco for this weeks packed lunches. Plus my older child has just started high school and therefore gets home an hour or so before me. Growth spurts mean he can’t possibly wait for me to get home to feed him so I’ll keep busy batch cooking some meals he can microwave when he gets home from school. The devil makes work for idle hands and all that!

Thank you for the welcome @Flowersareblue . I really need this. I'm so fed up of feeling tired and stressed.

Good luck with Sunday lunches .

My flash point is picking DS up on. Friday night. I have to park in the supermarket so have got in the habit of getting treats for Friday night. I can be absolutely resolved right up until I walk past the crisp aisle!

Well done on the weekend everyone. I think this must be the first weekend I’ve had without a drink since my last pregnancy. Feeling really good during the day but still resisting those cravings in the evening. I understand the hiding it thing as well @Namewitheldagain- I’d always make sure I poured my own wine in the kitchen, pour a ridiculously large one, take some big gulps then go into the living room with what looked like a small glass just so DH couldn’t see how much I was drinking. No idea why I couldn’t just have a small glass! I know I can’t though so really need this reset. Annoyingly our house is full of wine so I’m just trying to ignore it at the moment.

Well done @Namewitheldagain i thought my skin looked brighter today too! It sounds like you had a busy day ahead of you.

And @idontknow54789 it was my first full weekend without drinking since January last year where I did dry Jan but only managed 13 days! Luckily we don’t have any wine in the house (loads of gin and whisky etc but I’m not fussed about them) I’m hoping now it’s Monday the craving will be less, I felt pretty meh yesterday but feel more posited today.

along with my skin looking brighter my face is way less puffy as well and I think I look healthier. I’m already thinking about next weekend and what I can do to help myself and the cravings, boredom/reward really is one of my big ones, especially at 5pm where I just see a long evening ahead of me so I need to come up with something! I’m hoping I won’t find week nights as hard as I’ve done a lot of dry in the week before and my early starts in the week are horrendous after wine. My sleep is so much better and a lot deeper now. How is everyone this week? X

Im shuffling back with my tail between my legs 😢 Got absolutely wasted on Saturday night- feel so embarrassed, disappointed, cross etc etc.
Felt so hungover yesterday which I deserved.

I think I’ve proved I absolutely have a problem and really need to prioritise not drinking above all else at the moment.

well done everyone else, you’re all doing so well

Can i join on here?
Really need to cut back on the drink am drinking a bottle (sometimes +) each day and its really having an impact on my health and mental health
Think i need to taper back with the view to stopping fully over the next week or 2 - something has to change!
Well done to you guys who have done this - its very inspiring knowing others are where I am now and have succeeded - here's hoping i can join you on the journey

Oh @GreySkySummer poor you! Are you ok? Don’t beat yourself up - we’ve all been there, channel your hangover into thinking you don’t need to feel this way again, stick on a motivating podcast and eat some comforting food and think how good you’ll feel tomorrow after a better nights sleep. Sending you a big hug xx

don be disheartened @GreySkySummer- we’ve all been there. I think difficult social situations are really about the toughest aspect of this, perhaps now that the summer has come to an end you can perhaps find a quiet few weeks to get into sobriety without social distractions. It’s easy to get caught in the I’ll have just one trap and moderation is impossible in these situations… you completely lose control over how much you’ve had, drink faster. I had a drinks evening at a neighbours a week or two after I stopped drinking and I knew the only way was to go in armed with my own drinks. I brought a bottle of Prosecco for the hosts and a no alcohol fizz for me and prepared myself for questioning about why I’m not drinking (everyone was great, no nosiness) One other friend was driving so she happily tucked into a glass of my fizz. I was so beyond proud of myself to get through that and ultimately that success has given me even more resolution to continue. I’ve spent a lot of time considering the conditions in which I’ll be successful in this. I’m spending money of af drinks and cocktails. I’m not changing my habits at this point just substituting them for alcohol free ones. Like a diet I guess, I check drinks menus when I go out and plan what I’ll order.

Down the track I’d like to think I can pivot to more healthier rituals- herbal tea in the evenings, up early to go to gym because I have more energy but things don’t change over night and for now it’s just trying to find a way to avoid having the first drink that leads to god knows how many more

@CheeseNcrackerz thats such good advice! I like the idea of looking at the menu before I go to see what AF options they have so I know what I’ll order

@BackToBasics1808 hi! Please do join us, I was the same as you…and if I can do 9days (so far) then you can do, what is helping me is trying not to look to far ahead as that feels too daunting and just focusing on not drinking today. Have you planned how you are going to taper down? X

Thanks @Flowersareblue
Did you stop straight away or did you taper down to begin with? I'm worried about stopping as my anxiety kicks in and I worry about the withdrawal symptoms - so my plan is to have just 1 drink each night this week then from next week alternate nights etc - mix with loads of lemonade (drink mainly wine)
I've agreed to go to an exercise class tonight at the gym so means i wont be home until about 7.30 - 8.00pm (passing the 5pm witching hour) and then by the time I'm showered / eaten had 1 glass it will almost be time for bed - I only have a mini bottle in the fridge (do have other spirits in the house but don't tend to drink them often) so hoping that if i don't have it in then i cant drink anymore

That's the plan anyway - will hopefully succeed

@BackToBasics1808 i did just stop, I was drinking a bottle a night and more at the weekend, I relate to the anxiety so much - it’s up there with my main reasons to have a break/stop. That does sound like a good plan though - I stopped after a particularly heavy Saturday night and felt very anxious all of the Sunday and the majority of Monday, then on the Tuesday it lifted and I felt ok but I get that it’s different for everyone xx

@BackToBasics1808 i did just stop, I was drinking a bottle a night and more at the weekend, I relate to the anxiety so much - it’s up there with my main reasons to have a break/stop. That does sound like a good plan though - I stopped after a particularly heavy Saturday night and felt very anxious all of the Sunday and the majority of Monday, then on the Tuesday it lifted and I felt ok but I get that it’s different for everyone xx

@BackToBasics1808 i did just stop, I was drinking a bottle a night and more at the weekend, I relate to the anxiety so much - it’s up there with my main reasons to have a break/stop. That does sound like a good plan though - I stopped after a particularly heavy Saturday night and felt very anxious all of the Sunday and the majority of Monday, then on the Tuesday it lifted and I felt ok but I get that it’s different for everyone xx

Sorry for the triple posting!