Continuing support thread for those trying to live an alcohol free life - summer 2025

[Onewildandpreciouslife]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.

The original thread was started by @drybird in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.

Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain completely . If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there if that is your aim. That doesn’t mean that none of us has ever slipped, or that you can’t post here if you do - all we ask is that you are genuinely trying to stop drinking alcohol completely.

It’s not easy to be sober, but it is so, so worth it. Your alcohol-free life can be better than you ever dreamed. Come on in.

Oh ha it was M&S 🤣🤣

@Lavrander maybe their inflated prices take into account that they i.d everyone? So it massage's our ego's and makes us feel better about paying so much 😆

Also dome some goggling and says its 'normal' but I am still getting terrible sweating randomly. I am also not a sweaty person. I did a park run this morning and ran 3 miles and honestly sweated less then i am right now in bed with just a slip nightdress thingie on 🤒

I’m afraid the terrible sweating is indeed completely normal @Becky37! Or at least it was for me, and for others I’ve spoken to. It seemed to be worse at night but could just appear, especially if doing something even vaguely energetic. Or eating - I would break out in sweat about 30 seconds after starting. Lovely. It does pass - I think you’re on day 5 (?) so you’re probably at peak sweat!

It all feels grim around this time - disturbed sleep, lack of appetite/cravings for unhealthy food, anxiety and yes - the sweating. The great news is that in a couple of days the bad stuff will start to lessen - not quickly enough, but it will. Hang on in there - you’re doing brilliantly.

In fact a lot of people are doing brilliantly - I’m loving all the positivity! And great advice from lots of people; there’s loads of stuff I’m picking up on and filing in my mental toolbox. Well done us!

Meant to say - just think of it as sweating the toxins out!

@FaithHopeCarnage 🤗

Bless you and thank you for taking the time to respond. I really appreciate reading in 'real time' from someone that it is indeed normal. Even though i've probably had this dire sweating sickness countless times after quitting the booze. It is all so easy to forget and to question oneself and what the hell is happening. I also for sure did a number on myself the last 2 weekenss especially. My body is very much recovering still.

Going to sleep now and then will go for a run tomorrow morning to attempt to purge more out the system pre AA. What a life we lead 🙄😆

Up too early. No cooking today as DDs birthday. She had miserable teenage years so I'm glad she's feeling happier.

Not doing too well with the house decluttering. My cleaner has been on holiday and has young children so very little help there. I shall have to postpone the agent until next week which will p* off my private buyer as I've asked him to go through the agent. After all the waiting around with the thatched cottage I'm leaving it to the professionals.

@Becky37 I used to sweat like billio when I first gave up drinking. However I did have a tempur mattress and it was probably a bit of the menopause too. Since my big op I don't sweat any more but it could be my meds.

Morning everyone,

absolutely loving this group. Forgot to say yesterday, thanks for the mentions. It’s really appreciated and lovely to know I’m on the right lines.

day 6 here we come. Yesterday was very calm and quiet. Almost ‘boring’ but definitely not in a bad way.

we were all in bed by 8:30 abd after a restless start to the night I’ve had about 8 hours uninterrupted sleep.

im off downstairs to make a brew to bring back to bed and watch something on my iPad while the sun comes up 😃 Thrn it’s a walk with the dog and DS10 wants to cook dinner.

last of the first week challenges today…Sunday blues, coupled with back to school for kids and back to routine blues

happy Sunday you lovely people

Good morning. I have not been on the thread for ages. I've not done well over the summer. But I'm now determined to move forward into September alcohol free. It's going to be tough but I really do need to do this, hence making myself accountable here.

@Swanchaser welcome back.

Morning everyone!
@MeAndTheDoggoboring is good. Better than the alternative in the beginning. Over time you'll start to fill it. I'm doing A LOT of baking and things in the kitchen. Yesterday was lemon meringue pie. My app tells me I have not consumed 30,000 calories which I think are now in the pie.

Dog walk this morning and then it's down the tip. I do have some things to put on eBay as well which I keep putting off.

Happy Birthday to your daughter @WendyWagon. I hope you all have a lovely day.

Welcome @Swanchaser. You can do this.

Morning all.
Have been travelling for the last couple of days so sorry for the silence.
Welcome to everyone who is new to the thread - post as much or as little as you find helpful.
Congratulations on your year @FaithHopeCarnage !! Brilliant work 👏👏

I'm so sorry to see that people have had a tough few weeks 💔💔💔

I've just fallen into a rabbit hole, looking things up, after remembering a chat I had years ago with someone I met on a training course. She was working on foetal alcohol syndrome, and was very blunt about the responsibility of the alcohol industry.

She talked about gendered marketing, and how the industry promotes ideas of 'empowerment' and 'your own free choice' to women. She was especially scathing about how the industry fought proposals to warn women that there is no safe limit during pregnancy, instead pushing narratives that we could make our own judgements about 'just the odd glass of wine'. I thought 'how interesting' and then put it to one side in my head 😔

Those of us who grew up in the late 80s and 90s were targeted hard. I've just found this and it's eye-opening: Big Alcohol Targets Women - Movendi International

Obviously we can't sit around waiting for the government to 'do something'. We have to take control of our health and wellbeing, to make our days and lives better right now.

But I suspect that many of us carry a lot of counterproductive guilt and shame, which makes things harder for us.

For me, it helps to realise that there is a bigger problem, beyond my own failures and flaws - and the kicker is that it's widely seen as mostly an individual moral problem.

@WendyWagon

Happy birthday to your daughter today 💜☺️ and good luck with the sorting too. I am going to attempt some of my own in a bit pre jog. Reassurring to know that these sweats may come and go for a while longer. Not actuay getting them at night anymore but more in the evenings so that is something. Will sweat some more out when i pound the pavement in a bit after a few pints of tea 😚

@MeAndTheDoggo

Morning fellow day sixer! First weekend in a while that I have made it through. You have done so well and and it is so nice to have someone at the same stage as myself too. Well not 'nice'...i wouldnt wish this affliction on anyone! But the company in the early stages of recovery is vital and helps having suport of people who are still so much in the trenches like ourselves. Proud of us 🥰

@Swanchaser

One day at a time and they will start to wrack up. Keep posting for support, and be kind to yourself. You have made a big step in the right direction to start this journey again 😊

Absolutely @taylorean - Holly Whitaker’s book Quit Like a Woman is brilliant on this. It is in Big Alcohol’s interest to blame the consumer, not the product- if we all just “drink responsibly” there wouldn’t be a problem. (Ha!) You can see the gambling industry using the same tactics - “stop when the fun stops” at the same time as filling daytime TV with ads for online gambling and free bets, all showing happy women having fun,

Big alcohol now targets gen Z but I'm on to them. Ditto gaming.
I purposely turn off if I see gambling ads hence why I watch so many old school dramas. Happy Tiger my arse.
We've never had a drug addict (to my knowledge) in the family but plenty of alcoholics and gamblers. Dressed up as liking the horses. The races get a fiver out of me once a year!
My DC don't drink. DD is teatotal and when I've fallen off the wagon I get my arse handed to me on a plate. She's a clinician and calls it self harm. Not to everyone but to me as I fail when I can't cope. My illness has the upside that any alcohol makes me very ill. My stomach has never recovered.
I'm waiting for the DH to emerge. Not sure I have the strength for whipping up breakfast.

I’m ashamed to say that after Christmas I had a glass of wine and my DS at the time was 9, said ‘don’t drink that. I don’t like it when you drink wine’. It’s taken since then to accept he was giving me a message and I feel so guilty. (PS I couldn’t imagine putting that in an AIBU post, I like that I already feel safe here)

@MeAndTheDoggo

Your safe here and with actual humans who not just understand but who are educated and compassionate. I too have had many moments with my 15 year old like this. I have 3 younger girls too and if I can sort this out they wont even remember really having seen me hungover or drunk/drinking.

Essentially however bad it sounds we have to do it for ourselves. Addiction does not stop us when we feel guilt about our kids, our friends or family. Of course we feel crushing awful guilt for the people we have let down and the children... my god the shame and self loathing.

But a few weeks or months and we do forget because of how powerful that addiction and dependance is. Or we are tricked and lurred to drink again by the dam stuff being everywhere and perfectly legal!. Healing starts with us though lovely. Do this for you and the rest will follow. Here for you 💜

Thank you all for the warm welcome. I was tempted last night but didn’t drink. We went out for dinner and I had two zero beers. I just thought about how the glass of wine would feel in the moment vs how annoyed I’d feel in the morning knowing I’d had one and the morning feeling won.

hope everyone has lovely Sundays, enjoying birthdays and baking and generally nice relaxing days. I think I might bake something too, that’s inspired me!

Day 3 here. We're in the middle of nowhere in a stone cottage for a week with no shop or pub nearby. I brought orange tonics, CBD trips and ginger cordial. Fortunately dh is OK with that - I just can't have it in the house and there is no kidding myself otherwise. Internet is a bit spotty but I am trying to read and keep up!

Our mission today is a 'dry' roast dinner as a pp.

My dd and her bf don't drink at all. She's seen enough - at least it has put her off for life. They're back home catsitting.

I think it has to be a complete abstinence. I always want the next drink more than the last one. It's crazy - and no-one could understand the craving unless they'd lived it.

Checking in, still treading the sober path and will have an early night. Just watching fake or fortune and about to make a tea. Kids all back from their dads, albeit with what seems like perminant festival face tattoos. Thank god they are not in school tomorrow and back Wednesday. Anyway worse happens at sea (or in the pub if your me!).

The sun will rise tomorrow and a new day with new possibilities

Mark

@Becky37and everyone else, thank you for your encouragement. I am safely in bed and didn't give in to the cravings, the first time for a long while. I am tired and achy but so relieved to have managed one day without alcohol!

Well done @Swanchaser ! Getting round to starting that first day is hard, and getting through it successfully isn't easy either so that's a big achievement already. I hope you sleep well - you deserve it.