200 days alcohol free- anyone wish to join?

[FeelingLessTired]

Several years ago, under another user name I did a 100 day alcohol free challenge and alot of people joined me on MN. It was before covid, so a long time ago!

I really appreciated the support and lasted 120 days in the end. ironically enough DH joined me IRL and he just continued on and has been teetotal since then.

I was reading Annie Grace back then (I think) and her recommendation was that if you slip, to then challenge yourself for double the time- hence I now wish to start and achieve a 200 day challenge.

I'd love some company if anyone wishes to join me!

I have a funeral today and plan to drink J20 with tonic water. The deceased was a good friend of DH's and although he was in his early 70s drinking definitely played a part in his extreme fragility over the past few years. He's been really ill for a good ten years I think.

I have set out a spread sheet with my alcohol-free savings. In the last week i have definitely reduced and have saved just shy of £50 already (since the beginning of April) as we have had a fair few dinners and lunches out. I look at what I would have drunk (sauvignon blanc here and there) and when i have not had it I add that cost to my spreadsheet. That does help to inspire me because COL is biting us hard right now.

Wow congratulations to all of you ,you are all smashing it
I’m so ashamed after reading this thread.

wishing both @FeelingLessTired and @Goandygo and amazing holiday
Super congratulations to @88expertprocastinator for 200 days
and a big round of applause to @paintcolourchart gor your amazing positive approach

Day 1 today I think
I would have been day 27!

Morning all. I’m so glad I’ve found this!

well done to you all, it’s reassuring to see everyone at different staging and seeing everyone being supported through slip ups and all! 💪🏻

I have been looking to cut back for a while. Drinking most of a bottle of wine a night and feeling yuk the next day. Started during Covid as just a glass a night and steadily getting more and more. I’ve put in 2 stone aswell, not all due to wine but making bad choices the next day when feeling tired! I really want to get better control on my life 🙈

@Sonnetwell done on 27 days! I’d love to have the stamina. The last time I started I managed 5 days before life got in the way and I had a glass or two

Wow nice busy thread this morning!

@FeelingLessTired 30 days!!!!!! Well done!!!

@88expertprocastinator congrats on still being sober! Now you've hit the 200 days do you have a next milestone in mind? Please tell me more about this mango water!

@Goandygo yay for no hangover! Well done on not being tempted! So happy to hear about your glow!

@FeelingLessTired I'm sort of doing similar in the supermarket - I'm buying nicer thing because I'm thinking 'well I would have spent £15 on a bottle of wine each for me and DH plus maybe something else so if I want to spend x amount on this then I will' 😂 glad you're feeling nice and organised for your trip! I hope you have the best time!

@Sonnet we've all been there. I had a false start just before this time which seems to be going well so far (5 weeks). But just before it I had a couple of weeks when I hadn't quite cracked it. In those early days it helped me to think of it as 'today is my day x, but I've been sober for x out of the last x days'. So on my day one I had actually been sober 17/21 days. Now I'm at 5 weeks completely sober I don't think of those first 21 days to motivate me because I am motivated by my 5 weeks, but at the beginning they really did help! Also my slip ups were way more than half a bottle of wine and I definitely didn't pour any away, so you can definitely turn this around! I hate to see that you feel ashamed. Remember that for most (if not all?) of us here, this is not our first time at trying to be AF. It is not easy and I'm not sure anyone cracks it on the first go! You've had your practice run, this is it the time to go for it!

@Carlin welcome 👋 not sure if you've managed to RTFT, but if not (understandable - it's long!) - above @FeelingLessTired and I talk about when @Goandygo was at 24 days and 33 days, and not thinking that would ever be us. Well, fast forward a few weeks and that was us too! It's not easy but it can be done. You've got this!

My mum has been staying with us for the last 10 days, but she left this morning, my DH is now away until Wednesday and DS is at nursery and staying at his grandparents' tonight and then nursery tomorrow. So I'm alone and ready to focus on writing this paper that is getting pretty urgent now. Yesterday we had a good tidy up of the house which is great because usually we have a lazy Sunday (now it's obvious the reason why!) and I end up spending half of my day on Monday tidying up rather than getting on with my work. Today I am free to just crack on! So it'll be a phone in the next room kind of day while I get writing (in peace!!). Definitely not tempted tonight - am so excited not to be disturbed by DH's snoring and DS' early wake ups of late!!

Hope everyone has a lovely day!

@paintcolourchartthanks for the welcome! I did a quick speed read this morning as I had woke early with a heavy head (a couple of glasses last night) and then had to get the kids ready to go to a summer camp.
I’m tired of waking up tired so happy to have found this space.

Good luck with the paper!

Thank you for your support @paintcolourchart
i am going to log how many days sober since 15th of June to motivate me 😀
I am feeling demotivated so need to do something .. xx

50/57
As A daily drinker for 10 years this is huge for me.
if acceptable on this thread I will count it this way now rather that starting at day 1 as it is demotivating ..

@Sonnet 50/57 is amazing!!!! Of course it's acceptable! We'll do away with your day 1 until you feel ready and today is 50/57 🥳

Thanks @Carlin right better get on with it now!

Catch up later all x

@Sonnet don't be too hard on uourself. You've come such a long way and actually stopping after 2 glasses is brilliant. It's what I would love to do.
Also, it sneaks up on you. I may sound confident but feeling a bit different today. Though I just looked in a bottega , saw a wine a friend loves. Nearly bought it, but then thought no - I may drink it if it's near me.
I'm having a lovely day, but a glass of wine would be nice.
I just told myself it I still feel like this tomorrow, I'm having a low alcohol wine.
I probably won't. The af beer is nice though.
One day at a time @Sonnet - keep going - don't worry about blips.
And don't forget how far you've come.

@Carlin hi and welcome. Reading your post reminded me that Lockdown had a lot to answer for !
I was 2 stone overweight 70 odd days ago. I'm now 1 stone overweight - it will come off eventually but I'm concentrating on staying af for now as I am feeling brilliant.
I do not miss those awful hungover mornings - that's probably one of my biggest benefits.
That and not making an idiot of myself 🥴

Thank you for your support @Goandygo
it does me good to understand how far I have come.
enjoy your holiday , you can smash this!
good luck with the paper @paintcolourchart
and a big welcome to you @Carlin
can I ask what prompted you to give up today ?
have a great AF free day all

@Sonnet i was so happy this morning to see you're back - you were missed! 2 drinks is nothing and yes to 50/57 days. We are all, most likely, going to have occasions where we will have a drink. That’s not failing - drinking like I was is failing. Whatever we can do to build a new healthy relationship with alcohol is what we are trying to do
@Carlin welcome tone of the nicest threads on mumsnet. It will be hard for the first few days but once you get through them (and you can - distraction and early nights help) you will feel soooo much better. If you can, post here often!
@Goandygo you summed it up perfectly - you feel brilliant (and I bet you look it too). That’s the key with momentary cravings - push them down the line to tomorrow. I have spent over 200 days promising myself that I just won’t drink today, but I know if I really want to, I can drink tomorrow. So far tomorrow hasn’t come…
@paintcolourchart i found myself thinking last night, well it’s only 160 something days to make it a full year - so I think my goal has picked itself. If I did 200 days, I know I can do another 160…. Mango water - is a sparkling water made by Bubly- I don’t think they sell it in the Uk (which is crazy - made by pepsi I think) but these drinks have saved my life.
@FeelingLessTired have a great trip! I’ll be away from Wednesday for a few days - first sober holiday but one person coming isn’t really a drinker so that’ll be fine. Defo push for a referral to a rheumatologist- mine literally saved my life!

its 8.30 am here and I’ve just woken up from a solid unbroken sleep and outside it’s sunny and I’m sober so it’s a wonderful Monday (don’t think I really ever had those - was always a bit bleurgh and knackered all the time from broken sleep)

@Sonnetive been wanted to cut down/cut out for a while. I think I’ve come to the realisation that cutting down isn’t working. And my drinking habits are definitely unhealthy. I’m married with two kids, they still quite young so rely on me a good bit during the day and my patience isn’t what it should be. I’m in a cycle of waking tired, telling myself I’m not going to drink today, teaching 2pm and counting down to an ‘acceptable’ time to pour a glass. Having 2-3, going to bed, waking between 2-4 with a hot flush/palpitations and eventually getting back to sleep before waking and repeating it all over again!

I just want to feel like I have a better handle on life!

I had listened to Allen Carr before and found it helpful for a few days but once it went out of my mind I started having a glass or two and it steadily creeped up to every evening

@Goandygo@88expertprocastinatorthank you so much for the welcomes! It reassuring to find somewhere so welcoming and warm. I reach for a glass because I get so overwhelmed but am easily overwhelmed because I’m relying on wine as a crutch. I’m hoping one day at a time and with support I can break the cycle 💖

@Carlin you're welcome.
I know exactly what you mean about the cycle. Moderating does not work for me. It's hard at first because you wonder what life will look like.
I know that it isn't a race to the bottom but I was The World's Worst. I used to.plan my hangovers, wine ruled my life.
Take it one day at a time. Get some af drinks in. Chocolate helps.
And any benefits you feel - for me, I sleep better from day 1, recognise them, write them down, refer to.them.
You can do it. ❤️💯

@Carlin when I quit I was desperate and hoping I could get to 4 days af. I didn’t want to quit - just have some af days (moderate). Within 4 days I realized that I probably wouldn’t be a good candidate for moderation - I drank nearly a bottle every night - started when the kids were little. So now the thought of drinking again makes me very uncomfortable- I’m happier than I’ve ever been (despite the crap life throws at us all sometimes). I read pretty much every thread on the alcohol support boards and saw very clearly that moderation didn’t really seem to work for many people.
a very long winded way of explaining that I was just like you - probably worse - and I have no special powers - I just kept at it and promised myself every morning that I wouldn’t drink just for today! So don’t think too far ahead - if you’re feeling desperate - you can have a drink tomorrow or you can wake up tomorrow and decide not to drink again xx

@GoandygoI like that idea. I will start writing down the positives. The wine thing is funny isn’t it, that’s all I crave. There’s other alcohol in the house I wouldn’t think twice about but it’s been wine from the beginning! Sleeping better, losing a few lbs and reducing the horrible anxiety would be great!

@88expertprocastinator Yes have tried moderation and it only lasts a while. I think I just have to keep telling myself that it’s more a treat not to have it because it doesn’t really help me in any way. I’ll take it one day as a time as you say. I’m going to keep busy between 4-8 the next few days as that’s my danger time

Having a tea break and hopping on for a catch up! Thanks for the well wishes for my paper, I'm finally starting to get somewhere which is nice.

@88expertprocastinator well yes you might as well continue to a year! You're doing amazingly and an inspiration for sure. The mango sparkling water sounds lovely! I had a quick look, and yes sadly it seems unavailable here. The San Pelligrino sparking tangerine has been my saviour tbh, so I totally get that you mean. I can't believe I always thought I hated sparkling water! Seems like I just need it flavoured but honestly it really does satisfy me instead of wine whenever I've been tempted. Might have to invest in a Sodastream...

@Carlin I kept a list on my phone right at the beginning. It had a list of reasons why I shouldn't drink (one glass won't be enough, one bottle won't be enough, you'll feel shit the next day, you'll feel anxious etc etc' , a list of positives to abstaining (healthier, better skin, less puffy looking, more engaged with DC etc), a list of silly/basically dangerous things I've done when I've had too many (I kept this one right at the bottom soI didn't have to look at it too much!) and also a list of things I could treat myself to with the money I've been saving. It definitely really helped in the early days, I still have it but I hardly ever look at it anymore. Plus having a visual representation (not just an app, but something tangible) really helped me, and definitely still helps me. You might have seen upthread that I give myself a little amethyst crystal (it means 'not drunken' in Greek apparently!) every day and a weekly crystal pendant star to hang every Friday, and a monthly larger stone. I have these all on my dressing table together and I love looking at them to see my progress to far. I'm now mentally counting in weeks more than days, which seemed so unattainable at the start!

Morning all.
@Carlin how did you get on ?
@88expertprocastinator I learned that trick from you, about leaving it til tomorrow if you're craving. It's great because tomorrow never comes.
Last day of holiday today. I've learned so much about myself - about what I'm capable of and how I want my future to look. What's important really.
Sorry if that's a bit deep for this hour.
Hope you're all ok 💪

It's day 73 today and overall, I would say it's been easier than I'd ever imagined.
Being on this thread has helped tremendously 💯

Grrr… just lost a long response!!!!

Morning Everyone, I’ll try again 😀
thank you for your support @88expertprocastinator, yes drinking almost a bottle a day ( I always felt better if I left half a glass in the bottle 🤦‍♀️) and counting down to when I could open it is failing! I’ve come a long way and will keep on keeping on.
i didn’t even crave it, I just opened the bottle!!
Mango water sounds delicious, I didn’t realise you weren’t UK-based. Do you mind me asking where you are?

@Carlin I understand exactly where you are coming from. 2 to 3 classes a day was how I started and I can promise you one thing it will creep up if you don’t tackle it now. You sound similar to me , I used wine to artificially relax, marking the end of a busy hectic day, and when my DC were younger to give me the energy for the next part of the day. Although their after school stuff always exerted control over when I could drink. As they grew up I wasn’t so curtailed so drank more. It was also to manage my overwhelm with life, always so much to do , people to look after and put first (elderly in the mix too).
I still sit in the garden 4 pm when I finish work. I choose a nice glass (but not a wine glass!) And have an indulgent soft drink often with a biscuit on the side. I take 15 to 20 minutes just to breathe and not necessarily think of anything at all. I don’t use my phone. I don’t plan ahead. I try to literally think of nothing except garden and the birds while I sip my soft drink. This really helps for me as my period is between four and last until after I’ve eaten the evening meal. At that point I do not crave alcohol at all. It’s only after work and whilst cooking!!
I agree with everyone who says keeping busy, distraction, distraction… never have I had such a neat garden, or such a second flush of blooms as I have been easily deadheading so frequently 🤣🤣
I also echo writing a list of the benefits of giving up alcohol. The pros far outweigh the cons.
So pleased your paper is going well @paintcolourchart
Glad you’ve had a wonderful holiday @Goandygo- sober! What an achievement. You are inspirational 😀

so 51/58 days and I am not drinking today 😀