I’ve kicked alcohol at 43 and after a month I feel shit

[IMTOOMessy]

Please tell me this is normal!

I had a great first month - felt like I was on the cusp of something amazing. Clear headed, full of energy, excited.

Now after a month and a half I feel utterly rubbish.

I’m down, have put on weight, drained from a frankly fucking ridiculous workload, as you can hear feel very negative, weird sores in my mouth.

What is going on?

I have no desire at all to go back to alcohol but please help!

I feel the same, I stopped drinking after Christmas and I feel terrible. Zero energy and I’ve put on weight. I don’t want to drink but I expected to be glowing and full of beans at this point.

I have no advice but well done, that is amazing x

How frustrating!!! I’m gutted.

I’m not tempted to drink as I feel like I’ve broken the habit.

But to be honest I was happier before!

Might you be the same if you were drinking too? But just more tired and more weight.

I get what you’re saying. I felt amazing when I initially stopped drinking but then it becomes normal life which still has its ups and downs, but just the downs aren’t so bad.

You know I’ve done sober October, dry January or not drunk for other longer periods and I never felt any better or lost any weight either. Really odd isn’t it.
Hopefully if you hang in there you will eventually experience some noticeable benefits.

I did the same. Went to AA meetings and managed 4 months dry. Was utterly miserable the whole time. Didn't have a single moment of thinking yep, I feel better. Anxiety was raging, I didn't sleep well, I was hungry all the time. People promised I'd be glowing and feeling better but nope.

Sorry, well done on giving it up but people chat shit and give crazy expectations about how wonderful you'll feel.

Your immune system will be compromised by the sudden loss of the endorphins that are temporarily generated by the drinking.

Weight gain comes from finding food to be more appealing now the alcohol isn't swooshing your appetite.

I imagine that you were drinking regularly for far longer than a month and the negative effects are still working their way out.

Give it time

Alcohol numbs the way you are feeling so when you go sober you have to sit with whatever emotion and learn to deal with it.
But at least you won't be dealing with it while hungover.
You've done well, this is a common phase in sobriety and you will get through it

Oh yeah I’ve drank pretty consistently - albeit not to traditional alcoholic levels - since in my 20s.

So strange that initially I felt amazing and now I just feel shit.

Sorry to those also with this!

But bizarrely wine would only make me feel like a failure on top of the shitness - and I don’t want any anyway!

Could be the realisation that sober life can be just as up and down as pissed life, except now you can remember it all and you don't smell anymore. What can you do about the workload?

IME you can't just remove alcohol. It leaves a gap. You need something else. I went to AA. Met so many amazing people and learnt strategies to deal with that gap. I filled it with meetings.

People think it's culty or religious. It isn't. Give it a go. If your first meetings don't appeal try a different meeting. There's no commitment. It's been amazing for me.

I've reached the point where I just don't think about drinking. I only go to meetings to support a newcomer.

I didn’t ever smell 🤣 However I just expected more.

It’s obviously good for my health long term that the desire has gone. I don’t feel deprived or upset I’m not on the wine.

But it was something I quite enjoyed and that has now gone!

I don’t think AA is for me as I’m not an alcoholic. But perhaps you’re right in there being something missing that’s healthy rather than something that’s not.

I haven't had a drink for 10 years. My whole life improved bit by bit in surprising ways and I'm a much nicer person. Nor do I need it to be sociable. I do remember feeling a bit shit for a while at the beginning but it does stop.

That’s really helpful @Gettingbysomehow

Yep this is totally normal - don't panic!

Your first month you were 'pink clouding', which is a colloquial term for the feeling of happiness and euphoria you feel in early sobriety, and that waves feels amazing! That can last a few weeks, to a few months, then as life settles that initial euphoria disappears.

The great news however is that this current phase won't last forever! It took me about 6 months to start feeling better post booze, in the sense that it's how long the sleep took to reset, and also in the early months I binged HEAVILY on sugar as a coping mechanism.

After time I started to look after myself, and slowly the pieces starting coming together. I promise you that long term you WILL feel better, this is honestly the hardest part.

The only other thing I will say is that removing booze does leave a gap in your life, for some people (like me) that gap is a huge one, for others its not, but it does mean that long term we have to look at filling that, mine has come through volunteering, I have taken up new hobbies and fitness became a real focus - I'm not a gym freak but I have found that moving my body in ways that make me feel good, yoga, wild swimming, hiking, indoor climbing etc, have given me a real sense of accomplishment.

Best of luck!

I’m right there with you, few years older but otherwise much the same! On another thread re dry Jan and be reassured it is a shared experience you’re not alone ! Someone the other day said they really started to notice the difference round about 70 days in so I’m holding on for that!!!

I got a health club membership. I go for a swim in a nice pool in the evenings, instead of drinking wine.

There’s also a sauna, steam room, and a hot tub outside- it feels like a treat.

I haven’t tried the gym yet though 😁.

Can I recommend reading The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron? That's helped me when I was feeling stuck

Amazing advice - and what I needed to hear! Thank you.

I was totally euphoric! That describes it exactly.

Op there was a time during the first few months that I felt worse than when I woke up having hammered the wine the night before.
Hang on in there, it does get better.
Around 3 months I looked in the mirror one morning and suddenly realised my skin looked amazing. The puffiness and grey tinge had gone, my hair was looking amazing, I was sleeping better and, bit by bit, it all felt worth the effort.
4.5 years on and I can honestly say I’m so glad I’m AF.

Yeah same. I had my last drink on New Year's eve, I'm not craving it or tempted to have some but I feel shit. I don't think I even had a good first month.

Life's just dull and shit, I've put on weight and am quite frankly miserable as fuck.

I am thinking about this but tbh I have very little spare time.

Going to investigate!

have put on weight

If you were a heavy drinker, remember that alcohol is full of sugar. One thing that can happen if you stop suddenly is you get sugar cravings so start eating lots of chocolate etc.

Short term, don't worry about it. It's better to be eating sugar if it gets you through than to be heavy drinking if it was an issue for you. When you feel ready, that's the next thing to work on - but a step at a time.

Don't be discouraged. It takes time to get used to anything new in a any routine or break a habit.

Oh no 😢