I’ve kicked alcohol at 43 and after a month I feel shit

[IMTOOMessy]

Please tell me this is normal!

I had a great first month - felt like I was on the cusp of something amazing. Clear headed, full of energy, excited.

Now after a month and a half I feel utterly rubbish.

I’m down, have put on weight, drained from a frankly fucking ridiculous workload, as you can hear feel very negative, weird sores in my mouth.

What is going on?

I have no desire at all to go back to alcohol but please help!

I gave up last year after 30 years of drinking.

Immediately starting craved chocolate in the evenings so didn't lose any weight.

About 7 months later the spare tyre between my bust and my belly disappeared and I may not weigh much less but I can feel my ribs even if I can't see them.

My face is slimmer and I no longer have a double chin, I have a jaw line.

Give it time.

https://mummywasasecretdrinker.blogspot.com/2015/08/how-to-tell-if-its-paws.html?m=1

This post may also help explain...

Try 'the sober diaries' by Claire pooley. She goes into lots of detail around the various stages of your sober journey. Really interesting.

Hey! I hear you… I quit last May and felt shocking initially. I was so tired, and life felt very flat. Like you I wasn’t an alcoholic but my drinking had reached a level that was getting harder and harder to manage.
It does get better… around the 3 month mark I started to feel much more energetic. My sleep and skin have improved immeasurably and I’ve lost a chunk of weight (although to be fair I’ve been trying to do that last bit). My mental health is also much better - I’m far less anxious. Like other posters on this thread I’d say give it a bit more time … you are doing great.

I gave up smoking 7 months ago and I remember reading that it takes at least 12 weeks for your body to adjust and start producing it's own dopamine properly again.
Nicotine activates dopamine in your body so your bodies production of it gets mucked up while you smoke and it takes 12 weeks for the dopamine receptors to start working properly again. So you feel a bit low and crap for 3 months at least.

Could this be the same for alcohol?

This could well be it!

Yes my friend gave up drinking and at 6 months I remember thinking she really didn't look any better ( worse if anything). A year on she looked great. Three years on and she looks 10 years younger.
It's definitely a long game.

I often do a month off the booze. Last year I decided, for no good reason, to do 100 days. I found it easy, didn’t crave anything sweet, but it did make me feel a bit flat and bored.

I never feel any better - sleep just the same, no weight loss (don’t need to lose weight), skin stays the same. I love a glass of 2 of wine, I don’t think I could ever quit long term.

I stopped drinking a year ago in January. Took what seemed ages to really feel the benefits but it's absolutely worth sticking to it!

I would say it took 100 days for me to finally be like, wow, I feel so much better! Post-acute alcohol withdrawal is a thing. It takes time.

But then, I lost a stone without trying. People who didn’t know I’d quit started to comment on how much better I looked. I currently have stage 3 cancer and am going through treatment and I feel like shit, but I look so much better than when I was drinking!

I know lots of sober people and after those initial (rough!) few months they all look and feel a million times better. Hang in there. It took you years to cause this much damage to yourself, it will take at least a few months to start fixing it.

Well done!

My advice is keep going. I felt like this for a while after giving up drinking. I thought I'd be full of energy and a picture of health! I was not.

But, I can safely say that 1.5 years later the benefits are many. There have been really deep changes in several areas of my life that I had not predicted.

For example, I recently felt sensible and confident enough to start my own business and have almost doubled my earnings. I go on holiday with my young family and everything feels safe and on easy-mode. I've understood so many things about WHY I was drinking/what the drink was covering up which has led to me understanding myself better and learning how to meet my own needs. I'm more comfortable around other people now, too - not feeling ashamed because of drinking or trying to drown social anxiety. I sense people feel more comfortable around me now, too.

I may not be a beacon of wellness but I have the energy to cook healthy meals more regularly now. I'm not too hungover to be bothered to ever exercise. I'm less anxious about just trying new stuff, too, even though I'm still fat and unfit. I just went on a walking holiday!

I think what I mean is that the changes can be slow but they are way better than you have probably anticipated, and can touch so many areas of your life.

There's also the comparison - yes you may not be walking 10,000 steps a day or whatever but you're not actively poisoning yourself! Even staying as you are now would be better than gradually getting more and more unwell and miserable. At least this way your life is full of possibility and you are in charge of what happens, you're not limited by drink anymore.

@RosesAreNice such an aspiring post.

I've understood so many things about WHY I was drinking/what the drink was covering up which has led to me understanding myself better and learning how to meet my own needs.

Can I ask if you’ve used any resources, quit lit or groups that you’ve found particularly helpful? I was listening to a Davina podcast today about kicking the alcohol and it kept coming back to childhood experiences and stress and it made me wonder if the reason that I’ve been unsuccessful with quitting for good (do a year and convince myself I can moderate), is that maybe I rely on willpower too much and need to go deeper - maybe counselling?

How are you feeling now? @IMTOOMessy

Sorry it took me ages to come back to you!

I tried to quit drinking for a long time before I finally kicked it. I tried AA, Smart, read loads of books etc. I was one of those borderline alcoholics in denial. I was not physically addicted but the habit and compulsion was ruining my life and self esteem.

I had a traumatic experience that scared me so badly I felt I never wanted to feel unsafe again. This included telling my husband I'm never drinking again and if you want us to work you need to move out until you have given up drinking. We had a codependent drinking relationship I think. We both did some decent time sober then he came back and we've stayed that way.

So unfortunately I don't have any amazing methods or anything, but I do know you can try and try and try and feel like it will never stick, but one day it can. Just keep going and don't give up on giving up. Fight for your bloody life! And I personally believe that moderation does not exist for alcoholics. Had to be all or nothing.

Even though it didn't stick until later I still think reading Alcohol Explained and The Easy Way for Women to Quit Drinking were really important for me to understand alcohol.

Having been sober a while I also got diagnosed with ADHD & ASD which explained a lot of things I was drinking to cover up (along with a traumatic childhood and OCD).

You can do it. In the end you'll feel relief that you never HAVE to drink again.

This is such an inspiring post! I'm on day 62 of being dry (started 1 Jan), I'm excited about what the future holds for me living life AF.
I identify with so much of what you have said.. the compulsion and obsession with drinking was running my life and my self esteem. Already I feel so much better about myself and more comfortable around other people. This is just one of the many, many benefits.
I feel I just cannot go back to it now, and reading posts like yours is so very helpful so thank you for sharing!

3 months in I'd say I started to notice feeling better. After 6 my energy levels were much higher, no mid day fatigue, etc. stick at it. I'm 14 months down now and would not thank you for a drink. I'm not abstinent any more, could have a drink if I wanted, I just don't. Dread how shit I would feel next day!

@AuraBora congrats on changing the trajectory of your life 😊

Could also be that your vitamin D levels are low. Might be worth popping to the GP for some bloods just to check vitamins, full blood count etc to make sure there's nothing underlying going on. And at this time of year most people benefit from a vit D supplement as there's not enough sunshine for us to make it in the UK.

Did you also have times you felt like this when you were drinking?

If so then I wouldn't say that the drink either is or isn't causing it. It could be something underlying.

It's not a magic bullet, but if you drank a lot before, there's a very good chance that cutting it out is still doing a lot of good for your health.