I’ve kicked alcohol at 43 and after a month I feel shit

[IMTOOMessy]

Please tell me this is normal!

I had a great first month - felt like I was on the cusp of something amazing. Clear headed, full of energy, excited.

Now after a month and a half I feel utterly rubbish.

I’m down, have put on weight, drained from a frankly fucking ridiculous workload, as you can hear feel very negative, weird sores in my mouth.

What is going on?

I have no desire at all to go back to alcohol but please help!

Is there any chance you have replaced alcohol with something else that's making you feel down. You mention putting on weight.. have you replaced the "treat" of alcohol with food? Overeating or indulging can make you feel down and lethargic with no energy!

This is very encouraging. Thank you.

Congrats for stopping. This sounds very normal. It's a big adjustment. I would consider other ways to clear your head eg meditation/ walks/ more exercise. Appetite changes are standard and sugar cravings are common, I found myself eating a lot more sugar to make up for no alcohol. Then I got into fitness and reading more again in a big way. Small adjustments all the time! Keep going. X

That is hopeful! Thank you!

Mumsnet is amazing!

Pink clouding absolutely sums it up!

Hope someone else finds this info helpful: www.healthline.com/health/pink-cloud#takeaway

I gave up on boxing day. Luckily ive lost weight, but I do feel super super bored in the evenings. Im in the 'is life really this boring' place. I did get a health membership to the local posh hotel. Thats been great but its only in the day time. If this evening funk doesnt shift I may have to up it to the peak membership so I can go of an evening. So yeah, my body and health is clearly a lot better (Im swimming 3 times a week, eating healthier, and lost a dress size)....but Im currently fighting the boredom. Watching TV whilst downing a bottle of wine over the course of the evening really is the best, theres no denying that. Ah well....I will keep at it. x

Hi, it's brilliant you have got this far.
I gave up over 2yrs ago and remember feeling this way (still do sometimes!)

But on the whole, things felt much more positive overall between 3-6mths after giving up. Maybe these grey depressing months are making it hard, you're still adjusting to life without alcohol.

Maybe come spring and summer you will feel healthier and more energised, and then in turn this gives you the motivation to eat well and maybe exercise more. I definitely remember walking a lot in the summer evenings with a podcast that first year. I just spent a lot of that time looking after myself after all those years of drinking too much and unhealthiness. I also had some nhs therapy for the first time last year as the problems I was drowning away were still there, I was just better equipped to deal with them head on.

Giving up won't solve all your problems, just will make you stronger mentally to deal with them.

Interesting/infuriating!
I stopped alcohol five years ago and it made a very little difference.
Basically couldn't cope with it anymore.

I stop drinking every so often, usually in response to one of these threads where the evils of alcohol are mentioned but I never feel any different - maybe because I have a limit of one (large) glass of wine per day. Despite feeling that I ought to stop, this Mitchell and Webb sketch cracks me up. (Sorry to derail thread):

Well done for stopping. I have been alcohol free for nearly a year now and felt rubbish for the first couple of months. I have definitely increased the amount of chocolate I am eating but I am working on that! A hundred days was a big turning point for me.

100 days is my next aim 😊

I quit about 8.5 months ago (259 days exactly) and have ups and downs.

Part of it is just life, which has good times and bad times, part of it is learning to actually deal with the tough stuff rather than drown it. And I am learning that I am not quite as emotionally resilient as I thought I was, I am sensitive and feel things keenly, I just used to numb emotions with booze. (And although I drank a lot, it was a completely socially acceptable amount in my Middle Class professional circles)

Stopping drinking hasn't changed my life, but it is changing my life.

I feel better about who I am, my imposter syndrome is improving, I am paying more attention to my health, exercising properly again, eating better and able to prioritise my own well being at times.

Hang in there and feel free to join us on the abstinence thread here:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/5259714-the-continuing-support-thread-for-anyone-trying-to-lead-an-alcohol-free-life-spring-2025?page=12

Oh, and I highly recommend The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/36301974-the-sober-diaries

Got it! And will now actually read it.

Thank you.

I did dry January and after drinking a lot in the lead up to Christmas I initially felt good. Mainly the lack of hangovers was the main benefit felt. In February I felt a bit rubbbish. I have had a few drinks since (2 occasions) but not returned to the almost daily wine consumption. I would love to give up completely but I realise it is not going make you feel amazing straightaway. I did notice skin looked a bit better. I also put on weight after initially feeling less bloated. I think in the evening you end up eating more as you are used to “consuming” something as a treat.

I'm.sure many many years ago (because my dc were very young!) I read a post on here where a poster said they put money they would have spent on alcohol to one side and one Friday evening they would use the money book in a massage which really helped them feel better.

For me some of my best work has been written after a couple of drinks. However, its tough when quitting because if you have had a steady alcohol consumption the body may take time to adjust. I wont be giving up alcohol anytime soon, but I drink in moderation, some cannot and literally cannot drink in moderation! The body reacts differently! So all I can say is huge hugs to you, it must be hard and going through a detox/quitting spell is hard and can actually be worse than quitting harder drugs, but you can do it. It will be better in a few weeks compared to now and then better a few more weeks from that compared to then. You will get through it!

The thing is, you were probably using alcohol to numb your feelings - about work, life etc. All the things that are making you feel down. And now without it you have to actually feel the feelings again. It's not easy. I think this is quite a normal part of the sobering up process - have a google about pink cloud syndrome. You need to address what's making you feel down, with a clear head, and make changes in your life. You've got this. (I'm just over six months and it has not been easy but every day I'm grateful that I'm free of it now.)

Oh sorry I have seen that someone else has already mentioned pink clouding... sorry didn't read the whole thread!

Have you replaced alcohol with sugar? Could explain those crappy feelings 🤔

Amazing for you long term, to stay off the booze though.

People who drink excessively are often low in B vitamins. Make sure you are taking a regular supplement and expect it to take 6 weeks to kick in.

I am sorry that this has happened OP! I'm toying with giving up alcohol or at least trying to cut down. I'm also not an alcoholic-but I know I drink too often.

For me It's the fact that I live alone and spend a lot of time alone.

I have a good thing with my local pub. I am one of the regulars who sits at the bar. It's good to do, I've met friends in there who I've employed (I run a small business) as contractors, I take my dog, socialise-It's fun, and It's fine. But it has gone from one to 3 nights a week. The dog even nags me to go there now because he gets a lot of attention and fuss, and will bark at me to go. I know that's what he wants because if I dress in 'pub clothes'-he gets excited. If I just throw my scruffy coat on to take him for a walk he won't come!

If I go to the pub less, I open the wine at home.

I work, run and other exercise almost every day, do my business on the side, I'm currently writing a thesis-but ultimately the only 'me' ' I do is drink, it makes me happy, it is my indulgence, something I do as my 'only vice' if you will.

I don't want to stop going in the pub because that's the only time I really see anyone!I do go to the gym but It's usually just me and a couple of body builder blokes- (very 'old school' gym) they're nice guys, we say hello but that's it.

If I gave up the pub I'd not talk to anyone other than the occasional chat with a fellow WFH colleague. If I gave up having my indulgence of having a wine at home of an evening what would I do instead? I've tried just going to bed early (if I do drink It's never until late on, I do this on purpose so that I can't have much as I know I have to go to bed to be up for work)but I just don't sleep early or if I do I wake up at stupid o'clock. It's like that for me.

I have stopped going to the pub any earlier than 21:30-that way I simply cannot fit many drinks in before it closes so I've cut back that way.

When I was with my ex and we lived together I didn't do this-we did go out for dinner drinks and drink too much sometimes, but it wasn't anywhere near as frequent. And if we drank at home it wasn't as often and I was happy to not as I had someone there to go to bed with and talk to. Now, It's just me. As I've said it isn't alcoholism territory but it never is at first, is it?

Sorry just realised I am derailing your thread!

As others have said, maybe it is just a case of more time. Could you find an 'eveninghobby'? Reading or indulging in a new genre of TV even?

I hear you

it was the boredom on a Friday and Saturday night for me. Absolutely didn’t bother me through the week but the thought of an evening of vegging in front of the tv with nothing just pissed me off.

i did start going to the gym more. That helped a bit.

@IMTOOMessy - I highly recommend the Sober Powered podcast - episode 266 “What happens after dry January” and episode 239 “How the brain heals after quitting drinking” - both discuss pink clouding and why we dip when it wears off. Gill (the podcaster) has a science background and explains things really well.

You say you’re not an “alcoholic” - that is not a term I use either but I was abusing alcohol and suspect you were too. Alcohol affects every system and cell of the body and it takes months to get any real recovery. Your drinking will have physically changed your brain and neurotransmitters and chemical pathways - this happens to all regular drinkers, not just “full blown alcoholics”. Even though the alcohol itself will be cleared from the body in a few days, its effects will last much much longer.

Understanding why this happens has really helped me stay AF when I’ve been feeling meh. She explains the effect of alcohol on dopamine/pleasure pathways and how this results in us being unable to find joy in “normal” everyday life and that it takes time for our brains to recover from this.

Giving up drinking is difficult because alcohol is designed to get us hooked and to stay hooked. Stick with it @IMTOOMessy - it will get better 💐

Thank you! I will absolutely listen to that - sounds like what I need to hear!

I’m in no denial at all with having issues with alcohol - I’m absolutely open to the fact I do, otherwise I wouldn’t be here.

I also know how badly it will have affected my health over the years.

I also know that there are total stereotypes of alcoholics on a park bench.

I suppose what I was trying to say when saying I’m not an alcoholic is that my problem was acceptable by societal standards and it didn’t affect my job, relationships or money.

What I am happy to say is that it will have affected my health and mental health - and that it’s no longer serving me.