Children’s services referral when we asked for help from gp

[Fupoffyagrasshole]

My husband called the gp today as he’s been struggling a bit feeling down and stresseed and he’s been drinking more than usual (I pointed it out that I felt he was having a drink most evenings after work)
we have a baby and a toddler and life is pretty crazy at the moment we are both finding it tough - it’s just relentless and we have no family around for any help just us.
anyway he called the gp to see what help might be available for him (counselling etc) and he did a questionnaire over the phone and he’s been told the gp is making a referral to social services because of the drinking and him being in a carer role as a parent.
is this normal practice? What can we expect to happen

What did he tell the GP

It might be an early help referral, what type of referral?

That sounds very stressful OP, but they will see so many families destroyed by alcoholism they will just want to check the kids are OK. I imagine he was asked if you are present and not an addict and he said yes but some people will lie.

Theyll either see everything is fine, or they’ll offer support. Thats even if they follow up on it. Dont be combative - work with them and keep them on side. It feels ridiculous but it’s the best way to show you’re a good family.

I’d say it is pretty normal for a referral to be made, if he’s drinking excessively to the extent he has reached out for addiction support while caring for 2 young children that does raise a flag.

As PP says, it may be an early help referral.

He literally called the gp to ask about getting some counselling for his mental health and during the questioning he was asked about his drinking and he said yes he drinks too much at the moment and he’s worried about it and wants to get on top of it before it becomes a problem

gp said that because of the drinking he needed to report to social services

We’ve had a call this evening from children’s services but missed it as he was at work - they left a voice mail saying they would try again tomorrow

seems a bit extreme that they are sending social services around because he’s asked for help

Sorry but what is an early help referral??

Early help is not SS as such. It's a team to support you, but nit under child in need or child protection.
Don't worry.

You think it’s extreme that they’ve made a social services referral when they now know a parent is drinking every day? I would disagree. They may not even come round, it might be a phone call, but a parent with young children drinking daily is of course a concern and checking the welfare of children is exactly what SS is there for.

Thanks

he’s hardly an alcoholic but I’ve noticed last few weeks he’s been having a drink probably 3 or 4 evenings a week after work and he never would only at weekends together normally once kids in bed.

i mentioned it and he admitted it was due to feeling so stressed and he decided to reach out for some
support

got nothing to hide they are welcome to come around and see us we have a nice flat and the kids are well looked after and happy.

It very unlikely social services will do anything. Early help is support services available for parents. The best thing he can do is engage is support that is offered.

It does seem extreme, but I suppose the GP was useless and wanted to be seen to do something.

They are only interested in ticking their little boxes.

Thats unsual for someone to be in touch so quickly

What else did he tell the GP?

I wouldn't necessarily describe your husband as alcohol but his drinking is problematic as he is using it to manage stress or self-sooth.

Nothing else @soupfiend he literally answered the questionnaire 🤷‍♀️

Suicidal thoughts, thoughts of harming himself, thoughts of harming you or the children?

When did he make the appointment for the GP?

Im struggling to see that a fairly non urgent (no concerns currently raised about the childrens welfare) was forwarded already to the LA, then disseminated to the appropriate team/area, then triaged, then picked up to have contact with the parent today.

Itl be the early help hub,who are really helpful and that's not social services at all but the people who help in exactly these situations - he's asked for help and got referred for help.

I don't think it that unusual due to ages of the children. They have not realised he lives with a partner.

@soupfiend he spoke with gp this morning at 9am(via his health insurance so private gp video call)

it was the children’s services that called at 5pm

ive just looked up the phone number and the number is indeed the number for the early help family support team.

im not super worried just wondered what might happen

guess will see tomorrow

I agree it seems extreme but so many professionals do not want to see their names in serious case reviews as having failed when they could act so lots err on the side of caution. Which I don’t always think is the right thing TBH.

GP has a duty of care, that's all. Look on them as support, and work with them. Chances are, they'll satisfy themselves everything's fine and will leave you to it. They're overworked and under-resourced and have a lot more problems to deal with.

What did he say to get a phone call that day. Even if the GP did make a referral today it would usually take a week or two for them to contact the family (support is often signposting depending on need).

The voicemail didn’t come acrosslike the woman was worried she just said she was calling to speak with him and she’ll try get in touch again tomorrow. Have a good evening goodbye so I really don’t think he’s hiding having said something else

I do find this quite surprising. I called the GP when I had a newborn and toddler saying similar to your husband. This was back in 2020 and the GP prescribed me anti-depressants. Maybe it was because services were scaled back during the pandemic, but I was never offered any other support. I've only just managed to come off the ADs so maybe other support would have been better. Would have been helpful for your GP to explain the process rather than terrifying you that 'childrens services' (which we automatically think are social services) were involved. I know lots of adults that will have 1 or 2 drinks every evening, so unless he's been drinking heavily again I'm quite surprised about the referral on this basis, but maybe they'll actually be able to provide some useful support. Well done to your DH for seeking out support.

No, if its early help it wont be anything else, it will be checking out what support you might need as a family and signposting you on or making referrals they can help with

It does seem surprising, and also a surefire way to stop people from seeking the help they might need from the GP. I agree it will be early help, which is based on your giving consent, but the words "children's services" will scare people.

Ss are overwhelmed atm. The most your get is an early hub person checking in.