Children’s services referral when we asked for help from gp

[Fupoffyagrasshole]

My husband called the gp today as he’s been struggling a bit feeling down and stresseed and he’s been drinking more than usual (I pointed it out that I felt he was having a drink most evenings after work)
we have a baby and a toddler and life is pretty crazy at the moment we are both finding it tough - it’s just relentless and we have no family around for any help just us.
anyway he called the gp to see what help might be available for him (counselling etc) and he did a questionnaire over the phone and he’s been told the gp is making a referral to social services because of the drinking and him being in a carer role as a parent.
is this normal practice? What can we expect to happen

Yes, what a shit GP, how awful of them to consider the welfare of two children. 🙄

OP - he asked for help and has been referred to a service that can offer help. What was he expecting to happen?

Honestly your looking at it all wrong - this is the system for helping familiies - its family support, early help, they are literally trying to help you as he asked for help. I have asked for early help hub help before, they are there to help! Like part of the health visitor team, they will talk to you see what help they can offer - like you have asked for. I cant understand why you would have not expected the GP to help, when asked for help. Being referred to early help hub is the help offered. Take the help, they are really good.

tbh, half the mums I know have a drink every day or every other day. Just a glass of wine each evening when the children are in bed, so I can’t see that be your dh saying he drinks every night would be a red flag, unless he has elaborated and said he drinks a bottle of wine or five pints of ale a night.

He didn’t though.

OP’s husband wanted counselling, instead he got SS on his case.

It’s going to do wonders for his MH.

Exactly - its not the GP thinking the drinking is a problem - its them referring you for help. You can self refer or ask for help from them through school or GP, they are the people that help support families.

Early Help Hub is not SS.

I mean he was asking for some counselling or something didn’t expect this. Luckily he’s fit sone lined up via his private health care anyway so he’s on it.

It was the gp who said he was referring to social services which is what freaked us out

I agree OP it doesn’t sound like the children are at risk. Sounds like your husband just wanted some support for his MH

I'm guessing it's because the GP will be aware that problematic drinking impacts the whole family in different ways not least because an unhappy partner isn't going to be there emotionally or practically for his co-parent of the children. Children's centres near me offer help called early help particularly to families with various needs and children under two.

That Is odd. I deal with a lot of safeguarding referrals in my job and the threshold to report to social services is normally quite high - if they reported every adult who drinks alcohol four nights a week, Social services would be swamped immediately! I wouldn’t even report to Early Help for this. I reported a family where both parents were passing out blind drunk several times a week and leaving their kids alone while they went to the pub. That is more the kind of thing that usually meets threshold.

He’s annoyed now that he bothered as he has realised he could have just bipassed the gp and called the mental health line through his health insurance and gotten some counselling that way self referred!

now he’s sitting here way more stressed than he was yesterday worrying about this. Which is counter productive surely!

You don't have to consent to any SS intervention except at the highest level, so if anyone should contact you, you just tell them you don't feel their support is needed.

This. It's nothing to worry about, it is about making sure you have enough support around you as a family and seeing if there's anything they can offer to help. In some areas early help offer counselling and psychological therapy, though that's been stripped to the bone in most.

Hey OP, please try not to worry. He’s done really well reaching out for support. We all struggle at times and he’s done the right thing in recognising he needs some support. There doesn’t sound as though there are any safeguarding issues that SS would act on but part of their role is to intervene and offer support and signposting before problems escalate. I’m sure he’ll feel a lot better after speaking to them tomorrow. Good for him for being open to receiving help.

I think it’s really good they’re reaching out. Although I’m skeptical if there is much they’ll actually be able to do.

Don’t worry about the referral, it’s likely you got called the same day because they think they don’t need to be involved not because they are super concerned. They probably received a vague referral along the lines of “parent drinks alcohol in the evenings has two young children” without any context, it happens all the time, if they were that concerned they wouldn’t be saying they would call you tomorrow you would have had them on the doorstep by now. They will call ask you what support you are engaging in offer anything else they can think of and that will likely be it.

I do think it seems like an over reaction tbh. Your husband is finding life overwhelming recently and has acknowledged that he’s getting into bad habits using alcohol as a crutch so he’s done the responsible thing and sought out help to nip it in the bud before it becomes an ingrained problem and addiction. He has nothing to be ashamed of and should be proud of himself. If more people were able to recognise these signs early we might not have such a problem with alcohol in this country.

if I was you I would stay calm, listen and talk to the early help people, take support if you feel it will help and don’t let this add any more stress on to yous. Reassure your husband that you’re proud of him and he done the right thing being honest with the go.

Social services will do absolutely nothing.

Many social workers are partial to a glass of wine many evenings themselves and have slightly dodgy mental health at times. They may have empathy but the situation as you describe is a million miles away from social services threshold.

He will probably get some leaflets rom Early Help and a couple of numbers to call to self refer for mental health support - for which there will be a long waiting list.

Well done him though for reaching out.

thanks all !! Hopefully they call in the morning and we can just move on

we don’t need any help or support from this service - we are lucky to have very good private health insurance with a a whole mental health service attached so he is getting help as soon as end of the week !

that’s all he was after really in the first place

Well there’s an excellent lesson for all of us. Keep mental health and potential addiction issues away from the GP. Great work 👌

nasty post

@lavenderlou why would it stop people contacting the GP?

@EvangelicalAboutButteredToast why?

This. This sounds like a GP either not understanding the threshold or is covering their arse at the expense of their patients. If people think they will referred to SS at the drop of a hat this will stop people seeking help and be completely counterproductive. I suspect this has now placed greater stress on an a very stressed person who is doing the right thing and seeking help early.