Dry January and beyond - Thread 2

[BulldogMumma]

Hey everyone
New thread as the old one was filling up
@Flicitytricity @coastergirl @TimeForNosecco

Evening all
I was getting a bit fed up of AF beer so I've bought a couple of cans of AF pink gin and lemonade, I like pink gin but end up very drunk very quick on it.
The AF pink gin is really nice and refreshing.
Last weekend in January everyone, I'm proud of all of us 👏👏

Evening all. Just checking in and enjoying my Friday night treat of sparkling tea. (Yes, I know it has caffeine in it!). I'm really enjoying the "dryness" and I'm drinking it out of a champagne flute to trick my brain! (I don't know if I should still be trying to trick my brain at this stage, as it may make my cravings even stronger!)
Well done everyone.

@ThriveIn2025 hear you, we very much enable each other in unhealthy habits too and yes drunk conversations fo flow, infact a couple of drinks is often what we need to properly talk sometimes. Or at least that’s how it feels but it probably isn’t the reality and certainly if it is we need to change it!

@TonstantWeader thats a really helpful suggestion thanks and will try & do that! More to talk about than who’s putting the washing on or emptying the dishwasher or doing bed time routine would probably make a big difference!!

@Hedjwitch sorry its blowy where you are!! I find putting a fan on in the background covers it really well! Doesn’t have to point at you but helps disguise the noise well if you’ve got one around!! We have a lot of trees and it gets loud here even without a storm sometimes! Hope you have found something to distract yourself

Still going strong here too, it has overall been so much easier than last year. I almost dont want dry jan to end as I feel like it’s keeping me on the right path…!! I’d like to aim for eg 300 days not drinking this year, but I know it’s going to be harder than it seems. Not sure what to do next but there is no risk of my falling off the wagon before next weekend!

Been out for the evening, surrounded by lots of drinks...but I'm home and dry! 😅

Day 24! I've a gathering planned for 1st Feb. there will be wine. I'm looking forward to it but half of me wants to stay AF... not sure what I'll do yet..

Day 24. Wine witch was calling tonight, really wanted a nice dry, crisp white while watching Traitors!

I am a bit concerned at my counting down the days to the end; but maybe my awareness might prevent me from going crazy? I'm hoping to do Damp Feb.

I've also decided to not pursue zero drinks (tho only the Guinness was okay!), as my brain goes 'who are you trying to kid?' I don't generally drink spirits, anyway, so I've been drinking tonic.

No weight loss whatsoever which, given how much I was drinking, is a surprise! I was waking up fuzzy headed after restless night week after week, but luckily I felt okay yesterday morning and today, for the first time.

I believe I'll see it through but I really wish I felt more 'improved'!

Day 24 done!

@Fordian , you're probably right about the alts. I'm persevering though! Tonight it was Tanquerey 0% with Little Rock Mint & Lime. I'm not a gin drinker, so it doesn't make me crave the real thing, and it was a very nice drink, but I'm looking forward to some wine next weekend. For some reason it's getting harder, not easier! Hanging on in there though...

Have happy weekends, all 😊.

Morning all happy sober Saturday! I’ve been reading a lot on the negative impacts alcohol has on the brain etc and it’s really helping me not want to drink! So I will be continuing to find out everything there is to the point it just won’t be appealing! It seems to be helping so far I’m more concerned about the damage I may have caused if I’m honest.
On a more positive note weight is shifting pretty fast but that’s because I’m not replacing alcohol with other things this time Last time I was eating packets of biscuits every night to compensate but I didn’t even drink every day so that made no sense! I’m using the MyNetDiary app to log everything I’m eating and it’s actually working all those gym classes and I thought I’m not losing any weight just maintaining, but I’ve turned a corner beach body here I come! 😂 and maybe with all the money saved from not drinking I’ll be on that beach sooner!
Feeling the healthiest I’ve been in ages and skin is definitely glowing without all that extra sugar.
As I’ve said I do struggle with boredom but I think that’s on me I’ve got to put more effort into overcoming it and realising my life will be different now it won’t be full of highs and lows and will literally run on a slower steady baseline but look at all the benefits that I’m gaining!
wishing everyone a happy sober weekend well done to you all we all should feel so proud of ourselves 🤩

Morning guys I’m up at the crack of dawn to go to a gym class. Nice productive start to the day.

@TimeForNosecco I echo what you have posted above - definitely loads of benefits but I need to fill the gaps with something fun / creative

Im missing all the music I used to listen to in my headphones- so need to take that to the gym space.

Whilst I’m 💯 feeling the physical and mental benefits I still feel too sensible and like my personality is dulled down a bit and I’m generally quieter and less quirky - maybe that’s just how I feel. I used to spend a lot of time drunk on my own which I know is sad but was an outlet for eccentricities / letting my guard down and being my authentic self in my own little world. I got used to that being time for me to have fun, that was my leisure time.

I need to work on replacing that in healthy ways Maybe online art class? Or j maybe it’s time to brave going out socialising but not drinking (hard)

Anyway hope you all have a lovely weekend

Just thinking further - I think you sometimes feel like alcohol enables you to be your “authentic self” because of how it reduces reservations, relaxes the guard down and gives that extra dutch courage and boost - maybe I used it as a way of cutting loose from the daily grind. Constantly moving from roles and responsibilities , working role, parent role, caring role, house keeping, etc and then when I sat down with a glass of wine I just shut the door to all that for a while and had some time out, fun silliness and carefree nonsense. I miss that

Self care in terms of healthy eating and fitness and not drinking is definitely important and what I’ve been focusing on - but so is self care and leisure time, creativity and fun and that’s what I feel is majorly lacking now I’m approaching the end of DJ

I hear you, I am a very different person sober than my drinking self! So I get the dulled version of me also but I’m kind of thinking this is me the alcohol was always the fake me like a mask to hide behind.
I’m not a fan of socialising sober and that’s because I’ve forgotten how to do it, I’ve always been an introvert even as a child I didn’t click with a lot of people and when I found alcohol I loved the feeling of being someone else and being able to talk and meet new people it gave me the fake confidence.
I work for myself so I meet new people every day and have to make connections whether I like it or not so not a total hermit! I can interact on a surface level.
like you I need to find other things to do I’ve got the gym which is great but thats nothing new I’ve always exercised with many a hangover 😂
I really have tried to enjoy festivals and going to the pub sober but I just hate every second of it. Just gives me face ache from trying to look like I’m having fun!
All of my friends drink regularly and I feel we are on different paths unfortunately for instance I’m meant to be going to a quiz night next Saturday, I thought ok great I can do that sober I’ll need my thinking brain! But all the messages have been about the drinking side of it so now it’s made me not want to go.
And that’s fine for them they clearly don’t worry or want to consider giving up the booze but it’s not my idea of fun anymore so not sure where it leaves me!
And play your music till your hearts content! Nothing wrong with blaring the tunes I normally do when I’m doing the housework! Different vibe I know but don’t loose the things you enjoy music is good for us!
keep going 🙌🏻 you’re doing great we will find new interests in time and then it will all make sense! 😆

Have you thought about arranging non alcohol events like going to the cinema with them?

I hear you ladies and feel the same. Just last week I was part of a discussion about going out for a meal and the whole conversation was about what cocktails they do, how much they cost, happy hour, is there a dance floor and (worse) fancy dress. All I could think about was how awkward I will feel sober.

I plan to go and I will enjoy the meal but I will probably slink off when the heavy dancing / drinking starts. I just don’t enjoy it sober. So I’m not forcing myself to do that. I’d rather do things I do enjoy.

Plus the whole reason I’m doing this is because if I could go, have a couple of cocktails, have fun and then go home, then I wouldn’t be here. What I would do is have a couple of cocktails, that wouldn’t be enough so I’d have a glass of wine. Then I’d order a bottle because I would be fed up of queuing slowing my drinking down. Then I’d be trying really hard not to look drunk and then somehow try and get myself home. Not so much fun after all.

It is actually an eye opener having a night out with people who are getting drunk when you are sober.
I've had two pub nights this month and felt fine with the AF options. One woman got drunker and louder and very preachy about her politics on one of the nights. It was uncomfortable for everyone else and it wasn't as if we could debate with her as she was so assertive (alcohol fuelled). It was more a matter of trying to keep the decibels down to quash our embarrassment with neighbouring tables. I'm sure she would really have no insight into her behaviour the next day and would have thought she was sparkling and engaging.
I also had a mums' night out a while ago when I was driving and it started to deteriorate into hen night territory. We were in a restaurant and after lots of wine they moved to brandies and shots. I felt bored and out of it but glad to be out of it frankly.
If drinking could stay at aperitif level or just a little wine to go with a meal, it would be fine but we've lost the off switch.

Yes many a time I always suggest coffee or going for a walk they’re not interested and that’s fine at a push we do lunch and I always drive these days.
I don’t mind doing lunch as they have children to look after so they won’t drink as much, but these ladies take alcohol to the cinema 😂 only time will tell how these friendships pan out now I plan to stay AF

Morning all. I have just been catching up and really recognise what @TimeForNosecco said about feeling duller without alcohol!

I went to my do last night and I had a couple of glasses of wine (I decided to 'give myself permission' if you like) because it just felt too hard staying sober in a room full of people getting drunk - BUT (and this is huge for me) I started feeling pretty tipsy after the second glass, and when someone bought he me a third, I took a couple of sips and thought 'nah'. I didn't want to get drunk. I'd had enough. I didn't want the hangover, and I didn't want to become the person I am when I've had too much to drink, so I just stopped and went over to water!

My tolerance has gone through the floor in 3 weeks and honestly I feel really proud of myself for naturally self limiting.

It wasn't a hard choice, I didn't feel like I was depriving myself. I just didn't want to get drunk! It was quite funny watching everyone get absolutely trashed though!

And I'm back to no drinking again today and I think I'm just going to keep going and see how I go!

@WorriedMutha , that's spot on. In our culture many people just don't have an off switch. In some other countries moderation is more ingrained, I think.

@TimeForNosecco , I think you have to put yourself first, and if that means losing some friendships, then it's sad but inevitable. If a friendship is built on drinking, then maybe it has run its course? I can remember in a previous job, there was a 'book club', which was code for going out on Friday night and drinking insane amounts of alcohol. They would invite new people along to see if they 'qualified' - I was rejected for not drinking enough! Nowadays, almost all of my socialising takes place in cafes. I find I can be very sociable and get a nice buzz on caffeine, and I learned who my real friends are.

I'm making plans for Damp February. I might try drinking a 175ml glass on alternate days. I can't wait for next Saturday (a lovely white Bordeaux is in the cupboard, calling my name!), but really it's the anticipation of it that is driving my impatience, and when it comes to it I will want to take it slowly. I know that wine won't make everything instantly better, it's just the icing on the cake.

glad it’s not just me @TimeForNosecco and others that can relate to the dulled down personality phenomenon. Maybe I’m trying to figure out the new me 😆 and how to let off steam and let my hair down without associating that with having a drink

Ive also realised that I have my close circle of friends but also others who are primarily drinking friends and contact has tapered off already which is sad as it is an eye opener to think shit, was that the main fuel to the friendship - other activities and non-alcoholic meet ups have been mentioned but only in the way that you say yes yes we must do that ( and then nothing ever happens) - where as if we were meeting at the pub for drinks it’d be - free tonight? Say 6ish 😆 straight round

Wow alcohol to the cinema is unusual. Have you looked at joining a local hobby or ladies walking group?

I'm making plans for Damp February. I might try drinking a 175ml glass on alternate days. I can't wait for next Saturday (a lovely white Bordeaux is in the cupboard, calling my name!), but really it's the anticipation of it that is driving my impatience, and when it comes to it I will want to take it slowly. I know that wine won't make everything instantly better, it's just the icing on the cake.

I think my Damp Feb will consist of Fri and/or Sat evening; probably half a bottle per night.

It's considerably less than I was drinking before!

I will definitely have a nice glass next Friday evening (31st); and possibly the Saturday but I have a reasonably strong motivation to moderate because the alternative is quitting, and, actually, I don't want to!

I won't be quitting either @Fordian . After Damp February comes Moist March 😉. I'm not sure exactly what that looks like, but if I can stick to my normal 18-21 units per week longer term, that works for me.

Well done for sticking with two glasses 🤩 I would have really hated being there sober also, feeling like an outsider.
like you I could probably moderate and have 2 glasses but I would definitely want a third and give it a few weeks/months I would be back to party girl over doing it and moderation would be out the window by the time we reach summer! 😂

Yes I agree, these friendships were all built on alcohol so I know I will have to let some of these friendships filter out I expect to loose some friends there, would be a little more bothered by losing my BFF who unfortunately drinks really heavy like the vodka comes out every night I’ve tried really hard to get her to do other things but it always comes back to drinking and she says that’s her thing! That’s how she relaxes her dad was an alcoholic and I don’t worry she’s heading the same way.
Enjoy your wine next weekend! I will be continuing my sober streak for now, well done you’ve nearly completed DJ 🤩