On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstaining, no judging, keep on being strong, new thread autumn 2024

[Nowstrong]

@Amdone123, @Freezingfeetwarmheart , @Bigbus,@Flumpywoo , @FiveShelties , @ForeverTipsy, @Hohofortherobbers,@Jbob1976,@walliedug,

Wanted to post and old thread wouldn't let me, so took the plunge...
Please tag everyone, don't want to leave anyone behind.

Still AF here and even starting to enjoy it. Nearly 2 months. Will write proper post later..
Hope you are all doing well. Stay strong. Wet vibes, 'cos it's raining.

💪💪 @Hohofortherobbers

Hi, I'd love to join. I have very recently ended a relationship that has caused me many mental health issues and I was using alcohol to make life easier whilst I was in that relationship. 2 1/2 years ago I wasn't drinking much at all, probably under the NHS guide for units every week. However now is a completely different story.

I downloaded the Drinkaware app at the start of November with the aim to reduce. I's manage a day or so but then we'd have another argument and I'd drink another bottle or two of wine. During November though, I tracked every drink (quite an eye opener).

Today is my third drink free day in a row. I'm not planning on giving up completely, but drink at a far healthier level. My main reasons for doing this are:

1. Sleep - I actually slept ok last night for the first time in ages. That was after only 2 alcohol free days (and minus the stress of the relationship).
2. Health - I am very worried about the effect that heavy drinking can have on me in the long term.
3. Weight - I have gained so much weight (about 3-4 stone) over the past year or so. Cutting down drastically on the alcohol is going to be the first step to working on that.

Morning all! Back again. Been away and had a fantastic time with a friend. Chatted until I thought my tongue would fall off!
Still AF, except for 1 glass of rosé, which to be honest I could have gone without. So slowly but surely approaching 4 months AF. Must admit it is getting easier as time goes by, as it's becoming more and more an ingrained habit. I don't even really think about wine any more. So pleased and relieved to get rid of the WWWs constant chatter in my head. "Go on, have one", "you'll feel so relaxed", etc., etc...
Haven't had time to read all the posts so wishing everyone well and sending positive vibes and strength to all.

Morning, back to moderating for me now and hopefully being a bit more moderate about it than I have been! Pretty pleased with myself so far, haven't decided whether or not to have a drink on Friday but if I do it will be the only day for the rest of the week!

That sounds like a plan @summerdays84!

I’ve pretty much banished the wine witch, but find I’m increasingly relying on a couple of other drinks. Fewer calories by far, but I do want to kick habitual drinking of any kind. My skin is looking much better for all this, and I’ve lost weight round my middle and gone down a bra band size. So well worth it! That’s been about two months now without idle midweek wine

Just a quickie!! Saw this: https://www.theguardian.com/thefilter/2024/nov/29/best-non-alcoholic-prosecco-champagne-sparkling-wines

I haven't had time to read it yet, but thought it could be helpful...
Enjoy!!!

Well done moderators! Very inspiring 👏
I'm doing OK, once I've written it down here I really do stick to it so this thread is so valuable 💖
I'm sleeping well and feeling good, definitely calmer when I don't drink, the hangxiety is what really bothers me after drinking.

Hey everyone, I am reading your posts but not doing very well with avoiding alcohol right now. Need to remember I aced Sober October and will do Dry January, so not to beat myself up for drinking 3-4 times a week at the moment. I've not got drunk, just enjoyed a couple of glasses of wine each time. Hosting drinks tomorrow evening so will have some prosecco, then aim to be AF Saturday. Not sure about Sunday. Then aim to do at least three AF days from Monday.

I'm the same as you @Hohofortherobbers - need this thread for accountability (am still logging everything on the Drink Aware and Drink Free Days apps, too).

Morning all! @ForeverTipsyand @Hohofortherobbers you are me before. I went from going to bed being drunk and had the most awful hangxiety to moderating and just having a few drinks, but often. That lasted a while. Then I progressed to trying to have a few AF days. That lasted ages, and was mainly 1 AF day, on repeat. Now I'm mainly AF and I don't know how long this will last, but I'm enjoying it. Feel so much better, mentally and physically. Just dig your heels in and don't beat yourself up over having a few drinks.
Happy Saint Nicolas day to all!
Stay strong and love yourselves! x

Thank you so much @Nowstrong - that post from yesterday morning really cheered me up and gave me hope! It's good to reflect back on progress isn't it? I'm now going to try and do my 100 days sober from January 1st again. I first attempted this in 2020, but it came to an end after 80 days due to the pandemic. So, half a decade later (what?!) I think I'm going to try it again. But I will be enjoying my drinks this month first ;-)

Hope those of you in the UK are staying safe in this new storm.

Good morning everyone. I had a friend over on Friday night and she mentioned watching a new BBC Panorama programme about women and alcohol. This has just popped up so I've had a read and it's strengthened my resolve. Scary stuff, and confirms what I knew about advertisers marketing directly to women over the past few decades.

BBC News - ‘At 31, I was told if I didn’t stop drinking, I could die’ - BBC News
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c30pre660mzo?at_mid=FURmg6pEaG&at_campaign=BBCNews_WAA_Burst7_BingeDrinking_MPWF&at_medium=social&at_campaign_type=paid&at_ptr_name=meta&at_format=article&at_link_origin=Facebook_Mobile_Feed&at_product=news&at_brand=nc8gjth0&at_audience_id=all_map_aud&at_creative_id=120212497732150122&at_creation=New+Traffic+ad&at_adset_id=120212497204730122&at_adset_name=%5B109828%5D_BBCNews-BBCNews_BBCNewsWAA_AudienceBBurst7BingeDrinking-FBIG_AudienceB-FirstParty%2FCustomAudience_ImageLinkAd-ImageLinkClicks&at_campaign_id=120211272193730122&at_objective=consumption&at_bbc_team=BBC&fbclid=IwY2xjawHCTmRleHRuA2FlbQEwAGFkaWQBqxShPFYqGgEd4qxGkOh0DuE8Dn2ExToTFgMlQoYK7A3NzIQMJf4n774HCpfBZxQUlLTT_aem_-67zql6_sMXXrg06fDGhUA&utm_medium=paid&utm_source=fb&utm_id=120211272193730122&utm_content=120212497732150122&utm_term=120212497204730122&utm_campaign=120211272193730122

Morning all! Well, I tripped and fell off the wagon yesterday. Had all my children and grandchildren for lunch and someone poured me wine and without thinking, I drank it.
Then had more. Didn't get tipsy or drunk, but drank a few glasses during the day. Even finished off the bottle of red when they had left, while I cleared up the cheerful mess that they had made.

I'm not going to beat myself up about this. Just say "@&it" and continue my now AF way of life (so it's back to day 1, again). Goes to show that even after nearly 3 months of being AF, a slip-up can happen.

So. Going to brush myself off, especially my bruised pride, and pretend it didn't happen. Those wicked wine witches are not going to drag me back in.

Thank you to @ForeverTipsy for the interesting article. Was a good read.

Wishing you all a pleasant Monday, here it's getting really chilly, it snowed yesterday...Sending positive, even if slightly bruised, vibes. Let's stay strong together. We can do this. Death to the WWWs!

@Nowstrong you are so good at not beating yourself up, brushing yourself off and starting again! I think that's key to success tbh. I hope you enjoyed the wine and the family time? Did they know you'd gone three months AF?

I'm feeling really worried. I have a sister who I usually see at Christmas but I've not heard from her yet (not completely unusual as she doesn't do planning). We have a strained relationship but I've always made an effort. Trouble is, I've realised over the past few years that she's an alcoholic. Always always has a reason to drink. Every party I host (even my children's 1st or 2nd birthday parties at lunchtime) she'll drink. She drinks when it's not entirely appropriate but dresses it up as fun. My auntie is the same. My mum was the same. My grandmother was the same. You get the picture.

The last time I saw her was in the summer when I told her I'm sober curious and wasn't drinking that day (ended up fibbing and saying I had to drive later, even tho I didn't, as the pressure and judgement from her is insane and relentless). I worry we won't have a relationship at all if I don't drink 😔 Most of the time I'm OK with it as we don't really get on, we're just so different. But Christmas is different, esp when we don't have our parents and we've have children who will miss their aunties.

Any advice for staying in touch with alcoholic family members when you're trying to be sober? She's such a difficult person (all my friends and family agree) and I can't ever see her giving up booze, which is sad.

You've got a great attitude towards it @Nowstrong !

I'm back to day 1 as well. Not that I've had a long streak in a long time...

Not even sure what my plan is now. I had an unexpected day off today (workplace has storm damage so shut today to sort it out) - so I gave myself the green light to drink plenty of wine last night. I had loads of Friday night too (works xmas do), couldn't face any on Saturday as a result. I'm at another xmas do tomorrow night and friend has arranged for her DH to give me a lift back so I can drink, so I feel obliged to.

I guess my plan is just to not drink today and force myself to be productive around the home as much as I can. I'm in a slump of motivation and I know there is only one way to fix that - forced action.

No real advice @ForeverTipsy . I guess moving meet-ups to times/places where drinking is less likely or intense and limiting the duration of contact at other times. My DH has a drinking problem on a greater scale than mine (and usually in denial) - only saving grace is that he never drinks during the day. I've learnt that evenings out can never be late ones, and to get him home before he reaches a certain point. There was a time when I refused to go out in the evening with him - so meals out were always lunch.

@ForeverTipsy no real advice, except perhaps invent an antibiotic treatment, or similar, that doesn't allow you to drink any alcohol. My sister enjoys a good tipple, but last time I saw her I remained AF. Was very proud of myself and deflected most of the nasty remarks.
@CopperGate15 my ex was like that, I actually think that he was a minor cause in my own drink problem (I do say minor). Except that he would drink at lunch too. Was a nightmare accepting invitations, he would alway get himself drunk and be obnoxious. Drank himself to an early grave too.

Off for some Horlicks. Stay strong!

Morning all. I’ve had a stressful few days and allowed myself to slip back a bit into habitual drinking. Nothing drastic, but needs to stop. Still off weekday wine, but need to sort this!

Morning. Checking in for a Tuesday- Thursday AF whilst I'm feeling it!!

Hello all. Thanks for your tips @Nowstrong and @CopperGate15 My sister has worked in a pub her whole life, so everything we do centres around alcohol unfortunately. I think I'll pop and see her at work though; it's a drive away, so that'll be my reason for not drinking (though as a confident woman in her 40's I shouldn't feel the need for excuses) and I can just stay for an hour or two then escape.

My sister has form for snide and nasty remarks too @Nowstrong hence why I went 'low contact' a few years ago. Only see each other 3-4 times per year now. I'm sure she'd be happier sober-ish but fear it's too late for her now (she's older than me).

It must be tricky to live with an alcohol dh @CopperGate15 esp when you're on a sober curious journey. I wonder if he'll ever come out of denial?

Sorry you've had a stressful few days @BannedWagon - hope the week gets better. Hard not to slip into old habits this time of year.

Good luck with your AF days @Hohofortherobbers I'm going to do tonight, tomorrow and Thursday too.

Morning all! Asking myself this question : "Why did I have those glasses of wine on Sunday?" Because I'm now struggling. Again. But remaining strong, but it's become. hard work again. So a bit of lesson learnt here. Even when it gets easy or easier, you can fall off and struggle badly again.
So trying to get my head around all of this and remain AF.
Wishing you all a nice day. Really chilly here and cloudy.
Stay strong!

@Nowstrong sorry you're struggling. Do you mean with low mood? Or beating yourself up? Or struggling to abstain? (Maybe all three). I struggle with low mood a few days after drinking, which is one of the reasons I need to stop.

Just found this article about Marian Keyes being sober for 30 years. Wow. Some inspo there...

https://www.rte.ie/lifestyle/living/2024/0409/1442511-marian-keyes-on-turning-60-and-marking-30-years-of-sobriety/

@ForeverTipsy mainly struggling not to drink. I am beating myself up slightly, but that needs to be done. That means a stern talking to in the shower, on the loo, wherever I tend to be. Mood is fine. Doing a lot of baking which does keep me busy. Xmas biscuits, buns, cakes. Testing a new recipe for Panettone at the moment. This, of course, is not helping the battle of the tum, or bum.
I'll be fine after a couple of days abstaining, then I'll be back to the AF mood. Thank you for the article. Will read it while one of my creations will be rising (hopefully). Plus tomorrow I'm off to Alsace for the Xmas markets. Fairy land. Will steer away from the hot wine though, but not all the goodies to be tasted.
Enjoy your day.

Aww @Nowstrong - yes - stay strong! Those first few days after breaking an AF streak are a real test. It will pass and get easier again.

Had my last xmas 'do' last night. Don't want to drink again today as it gave me acid reflux last night and that is putting me off now. The issue will be tomorrow and Friday night.

I had been losing weight but it has stalled now and I know that is down to too much wine. Another incentive!

DH is trying - he is having a day off drinking a week now (a big improvement but is almost never gets past this and it is usually short-lived). He picked me up last night so didn't drink, which was a very rare treat. I think he is in deep denial about the long-term affect on his health. I know it will help him if I step up a few levels in my relationship with alcohol too. We've got to keep fighting this! The rewards are definitely worth it.

Morning! Still AF, but early days (again). Yes @CopperGate15 , it is hard after a longish AF streak. But will soon get into the swing of things.
Acid reflux!!! Tell me about it. One of the joys of being AF, no more reflux. No wonder it makes babies cry.
As for being in denial, I lost my father to a very early death. Perhaps not entirely alcohol's fault but still, he did drink too much. Drink didn't make him nasty. There wasn't a nasty bone in him. Just too weak. But that is another story.
As for my deceased ex, drink made him very nasty and he could never have just one or two, had to get drunk, and now that he's left the newly deceased's position of sainthood, the children (all adults) are now remembering some of the less fun and nasty stints he did. And there were a lot of them. Hey ho.
Anyway, I'm going to be doing a lot of driving the next few days, so no drinking for me, and I like it that way.
Might aim for an AF Xmas, just because I can. I can only but try too.
Haven't read the thread completely for a while, so thinking of @Jbob1976 , @mumzof4x ,@Freezingfeetwarmheart , @Hohofortherobbers@SisterMaryLuke , @Liverpool52 and everyone else. No-one gets left behind in this battle, they just sometimes decide to step back a bit, also, we all know that life, and it's problems, does tend to take over very often.
Sending positive vibes to all. Stay strong.

Thank you so much @Nowstrong for the tag.
I've snuck off the bus onto the other thread for absolutely abstaining (hides face in shame) I feel like such a traitor so genuine apologies .
I had to seriously give up not moderate
Life changing news when it happens i promise you you really do wish more than anything ever you'd given up years ago. Such a shame it takes something so pants to make me make the change.
I'm otherwise fit, relatively young and healthy
Don't smoke
Not over weight
Seems I've had a heart attack but worse still my main artery is almost completely blocked so waiting for heart surgery and this will be over Christmas
Haven't touched a drop of alcohol since I knew this and honestly feel so happy about that. Never been more proud because I just know this is forever.
Skin is clear and hair glossy and I've lost half a stone
I do enjoy everything still and feel less anxious with more free time . Even learning the piano !
I had so much support on here previously trying to moderate but it was never going to work for me. I needed this kick up the butt and can only ever completely abstain I see that now
@Amdone123 supported me quite a lot but not seen her on here for a while ..... you doing okay if you see this?
I didn't even drink that much really . Too much yes but I'd never been sick or passed out or had more than a bottle of wine, but I have drunk most nights for probably 20 or more years . First thing DH and I do when we finish work in the evening all week then it's Brandy too at the weekend
One of my heart scans noted a fatty liver too. Not unexpected really.
This time next year I will be a new woman !!
Anyway, will keep popping in and out and any support I can give those who want totally abstain I'm here for you x
Right now I'm avoiding moderation or any thoughts that I can ever have a normal relationship with wine
I have a choice
I can choose to give up one thing and have everything
Or I can choose to keep one thing and give up everything else x

@mumzof4x omg I'm sorry to hear about your heart, that must have been a massive shock. Especially this time of year as well. Wishing you well and for a speedy recovery after surgery. Abstinence definitely seems the best way forward for now, so well done so far.
Hope everyone else is doing well. It's always a struggle for me to moderate this time of year, but I'm still trying!