On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstaining, no judging, keep on being strong, new thread autumn 2024

[Nowstrong]

@Amdone123, @Freezingfeetwarmheart , @Bigbus,@Flumpywoo , @FiveShelties , @ForeverTipsy, @Hohofortherobbers,@Jbob1976,@walliedug,

Wanted to post and old thread wouldn't let me, so took the plunge...
Please tag everyone, don't want to leave anyone behind.

Still AF here and even starting to enjoy it. Nearly 2 months. Will write proper post later..
Hope you are all doing well. Stay strong. Wet vibes, 'cos it's raining.

So I just experienced my first sober concert in 12 years (i was only sober at that one because I was pregnant). Not only did I survive i actually preferred it! I spent so much less money, didnt stand in ridiculously long bar queues, didnt stress about running out of my drink, didnt miss songs to go buy drinks / go to the toilet. I remember every moment and now on my way home feeling clear headed and knowing I will make my gym class in the morning. So happy with sober life right now 😌

Yay @HorrorFan81 - great news!! So glad it went well and you had a brilliant time. The Sober life is so freeing hey. Enjoy your clear head and gym tomorrow 💪

Well done @HorrorFan81

I saw Wet Leg last week when I was in Edinburgh, also my first sober concert.

Last night was rocky I woild say. I had a crap day at work, even the gym didn't cheer me up. I was bored and sad in the evening and very tempted to have a wee dram or crack open a bottle of wine. I made it through, and put 5 calendar months of sobriety in the bag.

@HorrorFan81 That's good to hear! I was thinking about buying a ticket yesterday and stopped to wonder how it would be without the usual rituals - bar before, beer during, bar at interval...

@BezMills that sounds like a tough night, we'll done for getting through it and making it 5 months 💪

@LillyPJ honestly I highly recommend it! For me it actually improved the experience. And it was really interesting watching the drinkers getting up and down for beers and missing half the songs

I tonked a bunch of AF lagers so ended up needing a wee just before the last song and missed half of Chaise Long! I think next time I wouldn't bother.

Oh how annoying!

I did have 2 AF pints before the show so needed a couple of wees when we got there but then just had water so didnt need to go during the show and even managed to avoid the big queue after the show which is a first!

Got GnR in a few weeks and already excited about the next sober concert...

@HorrorFan81 I will try it! Honestly, I'm beginning to think that almost all experiences are better without alcohol. Even something as simple as watching a TV drama is better because I can focus on the story instead of having most of my mind on the next sip/refilling the glass/worrying about how much I've had. Plus I don't (usually!) fall asleep halfway through anymore.

@HorrorFan81you're an inspiration! Sounds like a great evening.
I had a couple of drinks last night, out for a meal with old friends. Enjoyed the few I had, definitely moderated & switched to just tonic after a couple. But had a rubbish night's sleep.
So I really think I'm off it for now, I really don't fancy a drink like I used to 🤷‍♀️
I've had 1 alcoholic drink since end of April, until last night. And I think I prefer not drinking!
Bit of a revelation for me!

@LillyPJ honestly so far, everything is thought i needed alcohol to enjoy, has been better without it. Mind blown 🤣

@ERN79 once that revelation hits its pretty amazing. I haven't had an experience yet where I have thought 'damn I wish I had drunk last night'. I ALWAYS feel happy i chose not to drink. I never thought I could feel this way

I was going to have a dry June but I now don’t want to. I’m having less than I was but I feel like I ‘should’ want to go sober. But I would miss wine. Is that a problem, do you think?

It's really up to you to decide. Cutting down can definitely be a good call, and maybe the road to taking a dry break. There's no right or best way, just finding what works, for you.

I definitely thought I'd miss drinking more than I do. I mean I do miss it, sometimes. Most of the time I give it no thought at all!

@AlertCat I've had similar thoughts,wondering if the odd one wouldn't hurt. But I've just watched 'Rain in my Heart' on iPlayer... It's a hard watch and horrific at times, and has really put me off the idea that alcohol is relatively harmless! Now I'm wondering why I'd ever want to drink again.

Agreed. And after the first week or so I enjoyed dry Jan. i haven’t worked out what I’m clinging onto yet.

Hello everyone, I’m listening to Allen Carr’s Easy Way to stop drinking for women. 20 mins a day during my lunchtime walk. I haven’t given up drinking yet, but there have been several days where I would normally have wine and just haven’t fancied anything. That is really great! It feels like a type of positive brain washing to me, or NLP, I don’t know. I’ve tried Clear Minds Before but the sessions were too long and I didn’t like the content, but the Allen Carr book feels more gentle and is suiting me better. @LillyPJ I googled that documentary, I don’t think I could watch that, it sounds horrific.
Just thought I would mention the book in case it helps someone.

@NeedANewOne25 welcome. I think it's good to share something that has worked for you. We are all different and it might take a couple of experiments with different approaches to find what works best.

@NeedANewOne25 It was certainly horrific. I've been haunted all day by a couple of the scenes in it. On the plus side, if I ever consider having 'just one', I'll remember those scenes and decide not to! I used Allen Carr's 'Easy Way to Stop Smoking' book and thought it was brilliant. I know it doesn't work for everyone but by the time I'd got half way through the book, I couldn't wait to stop smoking and be free of the monster. I even threw away the last half packet of cigarettes I'd got, rather than the usual 'I might as well smoke these first and give up tomorrow...'

I’m guessing the Allen Carr books pretty much use the same approach, so pleased it helped you with giving up smoking. I feel positive about it but it is really early days.

Good luck, @NeedANewOne25 !

@LillyPJ thank you and same to you and everyone else here (I have actually been following the thread for several months, but in denial really).
There’s something else at the back of my mind which is helping, I have an ongoing neighbours’ issues with a house I rent. One of my neighbours I haven’t seen for about 10 years and she’s clearly a very heavy drinker, she has aged enormously and clearly is very unwell. It’s really shocked me. She’s only a year older than me - made me think.
Wishing everyone a good week.

@NeedANewOne25 I know what you mean about denial. I felt like that for a long time. Like, I knew my drinking was problematic but the thought of actually stopping was inconceivable to me so I would keep convincing myself I could moderate and next time I would stop before I got too drunk, or do the glass of water after each drink. Sometimes I would manage this - i would have a few drinks, not get too drunk, and be like see...I dont really have a problem (but then the next time I would drink to excess and get blackout drunk). I actually didnt even make a big decision to stop drinking- i decided to stop for 3 weeks just to lose the last 5lbs then fully expected to start again (but obviously this time I would manage to moderate every time). After 3 weeks I felt so good I decided to do a few more - and that's when I started seriously examining the reality of my drinking. It was uncomfortable as hell (and still is at times) but I can't tell you how much happier I am now. I didnt even think this was possible. I thought people who said stuff like this must be different to me somehow as I LOVED drinking and was absolutely sure I could not be as happy without it. Yet somehow I am

@HorrorFan81 Same here! I'd been denying I had a problem for years, even though I lied every time a doctor asked me how much I was drinking. I even lied to myself - now I'm realising just how much I used to spend and how every day revolved around whether I'd got enough wine in the house and whether it was nearly 6 o'clock. And because I never got really drunk - just slurry and a bit clumsy - I'd tell myself it wasn't that bad. I was always intending to have a day off, but that day never came. It was just a happy coincidence of a few things that meant I had one evening without alcohol, and a few other things, including finding this thread, that made we want to try a second day, then a third and so on. And now here I am on Day 39!

@LillyPJ oh I would always lie! 14-18 would be my answer. 40-50 was more accurate. And that was usually over 2-3 nights 🙈

39 days is brilliant well done 👏 🎊

113 for me 💕

I'd always say 14- 18 too. One questionnaire I filled in said one glass of wine was one unit (it most definitely is not!) so I felt like I was only lying a little bit then. I worked for a doctor once and he said he always doubled the number of cigarettes anyone admitted to smoking. Well done for 113 days - that's brilliant!