Day 1 or 1000 all welcome on the tulips and snowdrops thread 🌷

[AFmammaG]

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/4930949-tulips-snowdrops-and-another-day-1?page=40&reply=134961706

Ladies I’m making this new thread as we’ve gone up to 993 posts on the other thread and I need to link it before we fill up!

Will post a proper into later.

Interesting hearing about how you felt this morning @SadMama87.

I’ve been trying to cut back since August last year. I’ve had a few 6 week runs under my belt in that time but January to March this year was a write off. I tried and failed to do dry Jan and that left me feeling pretty low. The drinking then escalated between Feb and March and by 1st April I was ready to attempt another month.

I completely understand those that say ‘never again’. I can also see how that is a successful strategy. I’m just not ready to do that. I know I will fail and I don’t want to go back to not even trying. I have also learnt so much since joining these boards and I understand my drinking so much better. I’m definitely going for an alcohol free June. I have confidence that I can do it too. I also agree with what @CoffeeLover90 said about the dry days. They still count!

I am, you're right. I just want to push myself a bit more. It's only beginning of June so plenty time to decide.

I do actually agree with you on the moderating now. I found it too overwhelming and setting myself up for failure when I kept telling myself never again. After I slipped up last week I've tried to shift my mindset to focus on the positive changes I have made and how I can continue to improve rather than expecting myself to never ever drink again. I do hope one day to be completely sober but for now I think i need to focus on trying to take it bit by bit. It's all such a mindfuck!

I am a tit. I hate myself. I don't even know why I bought it. But I do know I'm a tit.
I'm sorry.

What's happened @CoffeeLover90? If you've bought/drank some alcohol, it's ok! Absolutely no need for self hatred.

Tomorrow is a new day. Take it easy tonight, drink some water and get to bed. Give yourself some grace, this process is hard.

Absolutely this. Please don’t beat yourself up. This is so, so hard 😥

Morning all. As of lunchtime today it has been a week since I last had a drink! Feeling very proud of myself.

Congrats @IncognitoUsername! That first week can be a mixture of emotions, glad yours are all positive today.
It’s back to work for me today and I’m secretly looking forward to getting back into my usual routine. I actually got up before the alarm this morning! That’s practically unheard of.
Hope everyone is ok today.

I bought wine. And a takeaway. I'm such a tit.
I did a big clear out, spring clean and gardening at the weekend. Been in a lot of pain. I struggled to sleep Sunday which is why I think I bought it.
But I'm still in pain. I'm now groggy. This morning had to rush to get out the door. Snapped at little one for not hurrying. But that's my fault for not waking him earlier not his.

It's a bad day. Not a bad week.

@CoffeeLover90 you're right - this does not make a bad week. Hope you're feeling better now.

Evening all.
just wanted to pop in & say Hi 👋
I haven’t managed to catch up yet, but will later tonight.
I’m still standing…not sure how many days now as stopped counting but I think this weekend will me my 9th sober one, I’m doing ok.
this weekend is going to be a challenge I’m off to a spa hotel tomorrow till Saturday with the girls & my older sister is coming. She’s my best friend & has a heart of gold BUT we are very different people, she buys fancy drinks that properly cost about £100 😂😂 sips it & is very elegant….then we have me 3 bottles for £11 from Morrisons & an absolute t*t 🤪🤪 I’m so wanting to get through the weekend so she can tell our mum I was well behaved 😇 btw I’m 48 married with 2 adult children & still get told off by my Mum 😂😂
I hope everyone is doing ok & hanging on xxx

I hope today has been better @CoffeeLover90. I had months of stop starting, fighting the craving and failing a lot. Eventually something clicked and now I feel more in control.

Do you think you will drink at the spa @Oopsdiditagain? Tuesday to Saturday is a long time to be away and with other people who are drinking. Good luck whatever you decide to do. 9 dry weekends must feel amazing.

I’m back on the collagen hot chocolate. Don’t know if it works or not but it makes me feel better 😆

Thanks @AFmammaG I’m going to try & do my upmost best not to drink 🤞🏻 I’ll report back on Saturday 😬 xx

Enjoy the spa, @Oopsdiditagain - I'm very envious!!!

They should do some delicious smoothies and mocktails - try them all out!

@AFmammaG
where did you get your collagen hot chocolate? I have never heard of that xx

Thanks @NextPhaseOfLife
I’m getting more anxious now than I have been - if I feel I’m going to grab a drink I’ll picture my sisters disapproving face 🙈hopefully that will help me & I’ll definitely be checking the mocktails out xx

I can tell you @Oopsdiditagain that I am surrounded by 3000 drinking people and it is all absolutely fine! But I do find it a teeny bit hilarious your Mum still tells you off 😁

@CoffeeLover90 please dont let one day derail you and I hope the pain decreases soon.

I too would like to hear about the miracle hot chocolate @AFmammaG ! I have quite a hotel chocolat habit going on but as far as I know, it doesn’t purport to be skin care…

Day 2 almost over here across the pond. It helps immensely to not have alcohol in the house as my husband is doing this with me (in his own way). I find myself being naturally happy and hopeful instead of forcing it just to crawl into a bottle and act like a brat if I have too much or someone innocently ruffles my feathers.

May go to karaoke this weekend with a girlfriend of mine, and dreaming of having a beautiful aged whiskey 🥃, two cubes. Then I walk myself through the situation: one drink is great, five is better, and all of a sudden I’m calling a cab because I can’t drive home and I don’t know what time it is because I’ve been belting out show tunes off key, and probably smoked all someone’s cigarettes even though I quit a decade ago.

Yeah, I will probably not drink and save myself and my baby the headaches.

That first drink is always the one we want - I read because it's the one that hits the craving for the alcohol. After that, they all pale into comparison. I did use to love a whiskey though...

Also interested in collagen hot choc - in July when I've done my month of no choc.

Good morning all!

I am now over the 8 week mark of my journey AF. Last night I had a dream that I drank- it didn’t end well and I felt terrible. I woke up feeling so relieved that I hadn’t!

The days are getting easier and the cravings less and less. I am going away to Greece in 3 weeks with my Husband and 2 year old twins. This will be my biggest challenge yet as holidays and over-indulgence in drinking have always gone hand in hand. I am looking forward to waking up feeling fresh over there and having more money to spend on delicious food, ice creams and day trips!

I’m sure it has been mentioned before but has anyone tried the TRIP drinks and are they worth the money? Feeling like i’m needing something different to sip and relax with in the evenings.

Hope everyone is being kind to themselves this week. X

@Oopsdiditagain the collagen hot chocolate is from Holland and Barrett, it’s called beauty sleep. It tastes a bit like Ovaltine and stops me snacking in the evening. Still waiting for the beauty part to take effect….

Well done on 8 weeks @Gratitude24, that’s awesome! The trip drinks get really good reviews on here, very refreshing. I haven’t tried them because I’m worried they’ll be too nice and I’ll have another expensive habit to maintain 😆

This one… I recommend in a massive mug to fill you up, stop you snacking and improve sleep. I’ll be honest, I haven’t seen beauty effects yet but you never know!

Day fooking one again here 😂😭 had 3 beers last night. I have to try and be lighthearted about it as I get into cycles of self loathing so just brushing myself off today and starting again. I didn't get drunk or anything so I don't feel completely ashamed tbf

Hi gang. I've gone a bit quiet posting, a combination of work being crazy busy, school holidays, drinking again...

Warm welcome to new thread joiners, you are in the BEST mumsnet thread. This place is kind, supportive, inspirational and full of people who "get it". Whether it's your first day 1, your millionth day 1, whether you're sober curious, long-term sober, doing the moderation dance - whether you're filled with shame or pride, happy or scared, we're here, and it's better to be here and trying than in denial.

I love what someone posted upthread about effort. You had a slice of cake, not the whole cake. You had a biscuit from a packet, not the whole packet. You had a glass of wine, not the whole bottle. You had 1 night off drinking rather than the whole week drinking. Progress. Awareness.

I'm alright I suppose, pootling along. Bouncing between cptsd and drinking. I've felt a bit lost lately. I am listening, learning. I know I am happier drinking just 1 night a week and enjoying weeknight sobriety and sleep, and aiming for that. (Til the wheels fell off a little over half term).

I think the reason why this is so difficult for so many of us is that alcohol is a long, very ingrained coping mechanism, psychologically. It gets too much, we decide we are fed up of it and we stop drinking. Then, very often, something happens and the Feelings are overwhelming and we feel a strong urge to go back to the alcohol again. And many times we do. And then we direct so much negativity towards ourselves, so much self-loathing and mistrust and feelings of shame, failure and guilt, rather than building up our fragile coping mechanisms and telling that inner critic to shut the fk up. So if you've slipped back into drinking, done a ton of days 1s, don't ever beat yourself up because this is so hard. This is the path for most of us, I don;t imagine most grey area drinkers just stop easy peasy.

There are occasional times where I listen to sobriety podcasts and I think, I wish I was sober. (Obviously, 5 years sober and not having to do the hard work to get there!)
But deep down, I just want to be a normal drinker. A moderate drinker. I'm not under any illusion that this is possible because it probably isn't. But there is a part of me that thinks, if I can conquer my cptsd and get better, then my drinking will naturally improve. Unlikely I know but that's where my head is. For me it is a hope that is hard to get rid of. My CPTSD stems from childhood rejection and feeling alone, so entering into the world of sobriety in what feels like a world of drinkers is utterly terrifying.

Sending kind thoughts to you all x