Day 1 or 1000 all welcome on the tulips and snowdrops thread 🌷

[AFmammaG]

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/4930949-tulips-snowdrops-and-another-day-1?page=40&reply=134961706

Ladies I’m making this new thread as we’ve gone up to 993 posts on the other thread and I need to link it before we fill up!

Will post a proper into later.

@IncognitoUsername

YESSSSSSS 👏👏👏👏

You did it alcohol free - you are a bad ass 👏👏👏
(I think I've been listening to too many USA podcasts but it fits!!)

Pizza - family favourite

@IncognitoUsername 🎉 fantastic! Great to hear! Hope the pizza was tasty! We are getting a takeaway tomorrow night for the final of BGT. This time last year I would have been rushing the kids to bed so I could drink. On a Sunday night. Now I’m letting the kids stay up so we can watch it together.

That sounds lovely, @AFmammaG

I totally understand the rushing the kids so you can zone out with a drink.

It's so freeing to remove the barrier 😍

Well I've been feeling rough asf all weekend, took an old covid test as tbh I thought it was the flu but it's a positive covid test so least I know what it is and no need to go to docs or anything tomorrow. The one massive upside is the thought of a drink is making my stomach turn 🤣🤣

Last night was great. I also usually rush bedtime but I didn't Last night, even though the bottle was there. I did bedtime as usual and tidied around before my friend arrived. I'd usually would have had at least two glasses by then.
She stayed about an hour. We had two small glasses each, I was OK just relaxed. Got a takeaway and couldn't eat it all- that bit I'm annoyed about.
Got up this morning and felt fine. Found there was a little wine left and threw it out. No excuses, just once a week now.
Did some gardening, now relaxing outside with juice, watching the little one play.
I really was looking forward to that takeaway. I might have to get another. What a waste.

Ah no. I caught it November last year, avoided it all this time, it was awful. Hope yours doesn't get any worse and you're free of it soon.

@NextPhaseOfLife yes we did and I feel a tiny bit more hopeful but I am still implementing plans to move towards independence.

Also- as an American, I can safely say- everyone in this thread is a badass!! 😂

I am feeling a lot better this morning. Feels so nice to wake up clear headed. There’s been a lot going on in this season of life for me, including coming off some meds for depression and anxiety. Plus I’m maybe starting my cycle again, after having had my baby 15 months ago.

It’s nice to be part of this community. You all seem so lovely!!

Well done everyone for getting through the weekend! I really had a strong urge tonight. Sitting down to watch the BGT final and I desperately wanted a glass of wine, it’s just the occasion I would have used as an excuse to legitimately drink on a Sunday before. Instead I poured myself a large apple juice and have sat down with the kids. It is getting easier, I have to admit.

Sorry to hear about the Covid @Shiningout, I hope you are not too poorly with it 🤞

Lovely to hear about the success of moderation on a Saturday night @CoffeeLover90. That’s a win if ever ask I’ve seen one!

So happy to hear you are feeling a bit more positive this morning @SadMama87. Gosh only 15 months since having a baby? You are amazing! That’s such a difficult stage, add in any depression or anxiety, just getting through the day must be a struggle. Super proud of you!!!

Day 5 - and it’s been a stressful one. MIL was taken ill last night and as we are about 3 hours away we had to contact a neighbour to go round. MIL would not wake up so we asked neighbour to call 999. So we were up till late, waiting and feeling useless. MIL is physically fine but very confused. Can not remember anything from the last 3 days (although knew all the hymn words on Songs of Praise). We have been there today but had to come home as DS is in the middle of GCSEs. Community nurses going in to MIL twice a day from tomorrow.
BUT despite all this, I haven’t had a drink. Last week I would have got through a bottle of wine just waiting to hear what was going on. So I’m stressed, and worried but just a little bit proud too.

@IncognitoUsername that is a huge win. Well done you! I hope your MIL is on the mend soon.

Walked 16km today and afterwards sat in a pub garden with a non-alcoholic beer shandy 🤣 The look I got from the bar maid made me say 'thank you!' super cheerily to her. I commented to my husband that I could still sit in a sunny pub garden, with a pint and enjoy it. I wouldn't have bothered doing it before if I couldn't have a drink - but it was the moment, not the booze that made it so enjoyable. That was my win for the weekend.

I have discovered lemon coke - very refreshing when ice cold.
I know coke isn’t great for you but I figure I’ll deal with one addiction at a time!

Abso-bloody-lutely. I swapped booze for chocolate at the beginning of the year. This month I'm cutting out chocolate and I'm not quite sure where to go - but the empty bag of pretzels in front of me are giving me a clue....

@IncognitoUsername so sorry to hear about your MiL, sending you best wishes. Helping elderly relatives is completely exhausting, I can relate. Well done for resisting the temptation to drink through it. At least you can tackle the situation with a clear head.

@Thelittlestranger 16km!!! Wow that’s some walk. Beer garden with an AF shandy (and feeling comfortable with that) is absolutely a win! Well done! I was definitely the sort of drinker who thought what’s the point if I could only have 1 or 2.

I had a massive takeaway last night. It’s a real treat for us, so we went a bit crazy. I was stuffed. Watched the BGT final and then headed to bed… couldn’t sleep! Ate too much. Woken up this morning and had porridge and fruit, now is the time to tackle the diet. 7 weeks until the summer holidays and I hope to be looking and feeling great by then!

Just jotting down some thoughts while trying to get the kids ready for back to school tomorrow… 7 weeks until the summer holidays:
I’m going to aim to drop a pound a week. That doesn’t feel too ambitious. I’d love to be half a stone lighter for them.

Inwardly I want to do those 7 weeks dry but even now, after all this time, that feels like a huge target. Shorter term I want to do the whole of June dry because I didn’t manage that in May. I feel really positive and I’ve made huge progress since I regained focus in April, so it feels achievable. Would love to see my app have another month alcohol free and a I know my body would thank me for it.

I’ve ordered my treadmill and it’s coming this week. I blew the budget slightly but I just couldn’t get everything I wanted for £200 and as someone said upthread, in real terms I’ve saved more then that by not drinking so I managed to justify it. Can’t believe I actually managed to sit down, do the research and make a decision. I really am making progress 😆

@AFmammaG I too, should join in that diet. 1lb a week does sound doable. For me, when I've knocked wine and multiple takeaways on the head, I could eat as normal just smaller portions and still drop weight.
I did get 2 takeaways this weekend but honestly, I only had about 5 bites of Saturdays.
I've also decided to go all of July without a drink. This month harder due to it being the start of my moderation.

Next I need to cut out or cut down caffeine. I'm drinking 3-4 redbulls a day (sugar free at least) as well as coffee.

Then I'll tackle smoking. Bought a vape Saturday to help me cut down.

I am quite active anyway, despite working from home. Got a lot of decorating and garden work to do between now and autumn, that'll burn some calories and is an excuse to stop blowing money on things that make me unhealthy.

morning all, Happy Monday!

@AFmammaG - half a stone off by the summer hols sounds entirely doable. It makes a big difference to your mindset, doesn't it.

I've lost weight now since stopping. My first couple of weeks I stuffed chocolate in the evenings, then that calmed down, and I find I'm now naturally eating less. Winner winner (veggie chicken!) dinner!

@CoffeeLover90 - you're doing brilliantly. Seems like you're well on the journey to being a smoke free non-drinker - whoop whoop! I'm glad you didn't try and give everything up at once. I'm sure that might work for 1% of people, but it seems too drastic to last for most. I think you're spot on with the approach you're taking.

I'm into my 6th week AF now :-) I've been quite upfront with people that I'm no longer drinking, as we have a lot of social plans in the diary and didn't want to pull the 'I'm not drinking' card when people are expecting a boozy night out.

Everyone has so far been fantastic. Amazed, but fantastic! Almost everyone has acknowledged they'd prefer to drink less themselves, too, so that's been great, and we've changed a couple of drinks nights to going for a meal, which I always preferred anyway.

My gang is quite enjoying having a built-in designated driver, which I'm more than happy with.

Too many messages to catch up on! But I am loving the burst of Monday morning enthusiasm!! Who’d have thunk Mondays could be anything other than horrendous 😁

I am off on the first of my marathon work trips. This particular one is an annual event and my god the drinking that goes on. So I shall be particularly proud of myself when (not if!!) I get through it sober. I have armed myself with good coffee, night time tea bags, some chocolate and I shall look forward to a peaceful hour at the end of each night, sleeping like a baby and not looking like I’ve been whacked with the ugly alcohol stick each morning.

Go forth and conquer mes amis!

That sounds like a plan @CoffeeLover90! I’ve managed to get my coffee intake down to 2 a day but because I’ve been so strict if I even have one more it affects my sleep and I get shaky!

@NextPhaseOfLife great news about your friendship circle. I’m still avoiding the really tempting situations because I don’t trust myself. A coffee and lunch is it unless I’m with friends who don’t drink much. Reminds me of the time I went for a lunch with a group where drinking is mixed. I didn’t drink. The lady sat next to me had 6 large wines. She seemed fairly unaffected too. Really made me feel a bit concerned because even when I was drinking often that would have made me pretty drunk.

Good luck at those events @TimesaChangeling, it sounds like you have a good plan and you are right, that look the morning after 😱 haggard is how I would describe myself hungover.

Go forth into battle, @TimesaChangeling - you are well prepared!

My husband actually told me my face looked fresh and my eyebags have gone the other day 😂He's very very supportive and meant it in the nicest way!

@IncognitoUsername sorry to hear about your MIL. The brain is a very unique thing, in that music is stored on a much deeper level than other things. Even the most severe dementia patients can sometimes remember their favorite songs and even improve their cognitive abilities whilst listening to music!!

I drank yesterday while working in the garden. It was my husband’s birthday so I decided to celebrate, with alcohol. Absolutely not worth it. I could feel myself being grumpy this morning while getting the kids ready for school, my kitchen is a mess (drunk cooking), and I’m bloated again after having dropped 5 lbs in the days I didn’t drink.

So we begin again. I really like how you all are not judgmental about these things. I’ve done AA and it’s definitely frowned upon to “try” drinking again after being dry.

@SadMama87 I think when first starting it's no use beating yourself up for drinking 5 times in 4 weeks as apposed to drinking up to 28 times in 4 weeks. Something is better than nothing.
Dieting as an example, you wouldn't scrap the idea completely because you had a slice of cake. You'd move on from it and keep trying.

It's now week 2 of moderation. I don't plan on having much come Saturday, my friend invited me for a BBQ and they don't drink much.

I'm swaying towards AF July though. I just want to test myself, although the idea is daunting.

Just take it a day at a time, instead of bogging yourself down trying to do an entire month in your head. If you want a friend to do it with you, I’m here!!