Day 1 or 1000 all welcome on the tulips and snowdrops thread 🌷

[AFmammaG]

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/4930949-tulips-snowdrops-and-another-day-1?page=40&reply=134961706

Ladies I’m making this new thread as we’ve gone up to 993 posts on the other thread and I need to link it before we fill up!

Will post a proper into later.

@flowers2024

It's hard because at a minimum you're breaking a long standing habit, if not an addiction.

Figuring out why you drink, and understanding why you want to change the record, are really important to sticking with it,

You've done so well already.

Are you reading any QuitLit?

@flowers2024 you really should try some quit lit, it will help to answer some of your questions. Please try Annie Grace’s Naked Mind.
I had never read a single self help book before this, but I have to say it made sense and has really helped me analyse why I was drinking and how it was not the answer.

Sorry @NextPhaseOfLife , I posted before reading your post. You are spot on

Not at all, @PissPotPourri 💕💕💕

It's really helped me so far.

In bed and alcohol free for another day. Relieved.

Well done @flowers2024 ! Sleep well!

I had a terrible sleep last night (woke up for several hours and couldn’t nod off again) but am feeling fine this morning due to no hangover. I don’t know how I’d have got out of bed this morning if I’d been drinking the previous night!

Yesterday’s advice about saying I WILL not drink today (as opposed to I hope I won’t) also really helped. Perhaps I need to keep repeating that mantra!

I’ve now had seven AF days in May according to my app (though not in a row). That’s still far too many drinking days, but it’s also seven bottles of wine I could have drunk but didn’t.

Hope everyone else is doing okay.

Day 20 for me. It's been tough tbh and I've been thinking about drink every single night 😭 don't think half term is helping 😂 but I keep thinking how disappointing it would be to go back to day 1 as this is the longest I've been in about 15 years so got to keep pushing forward.

Thanks @flowers2024 for directing me here.
I completed day 2. This feels weird to say as I only drink in evenings.
Plan is to stay clear until Saturday. Once comfortable with it being a Once a week occasion, I'll make it fortnightly, then monthly.
I'm back to work after a 4 day weekend. Tonight is the true test. I've not lasted 3 days since around January/February.

I can't believe I'm in this situation. I stayed off drink for almost 3 years after falling pregnant with DS. Before that I drank once or twice a month.
Bur its gradually increased since October and from Christmas I've had more evenings with wine than I have without.

The epiphany came at the weekend. I'm due to go on holiday in 3 weeks and Ive not saved as much as I'd planned. Looking at online banking I must have spent thousands on the drink as well as the takeaway and cigarettes that come with it. I only counted so far back before I felt complete disgust with myself.

So for my son and my health, I'll make it to day 5.

Good afternoon everyone, and a special hello to @CoffeeLover90 and who has found us 💕

Coffee lover - you're in good company. All of us (and all drinkers) find the financial price they pay - let alone the health price - is more than the actual spend on booze.

In my case, it's probably the clothes I keep buying and buying as my weight goes up and up. For me, wine leads to pizza, ice cream, all the carbs and all the crap.

Well done @flowers2024 for last night. And for taking on board the reframe. It really does help.

I read a bit more of Alcohol Explained last night. The longer I go without booze, the more I need to read to reinforce my approach and understand the psychology.

Yesterday's chapter was about how booze can actually stop your short term memory feeding the necessary parts through to your long term. And how booze memory loss and blackouts are damaging (no surprise).

@flowers2024, @CoffeeLover90 - what's on your podcast & reading list?

@Shiningout

Keep going, you're smashing it.

That's how I eventually quit smoking after many false starts. I just kept reminding myself that if faltered I'd only have to go through the early days again and no way was i going through that.

@NextPhaseOfLife Thank you. I've been the same with piling weight on, the cost of new clothes is another pile of money down the drain.
I'm not really planning on reading or researching, I'm keeping my mind occupied on other things. Easy done before 7 as little one is only 4 and takes up a lot of time. As does the cat. And of course, work.
Then I used wine to wind down at the weekend, then twice a week, three times...
So I'm finding other ways to wind down. I'm making meals I enjoy, may not be healthy but it's better than a takeaway. And I can look forward to that. I'll pick a film and cozy up with a blanket.
I'll post on here when I need to.
And I'll keep going. Get me back to normal.

Sounds like you're making brilliant progress, @CoffeeLover90

I quit around Easter so kept myself occupied munching through our Easter egg stash - I quite enjoyed that 😂😂😂

@NextPhaseOfLife Oh I do still have a little stash believe it or not haha. And lindt hot chocolate.

Still got Easter Eggs? You're super woman!

@NextPhaseOfLife I have a habit of putting things in a safe space but forget. Hence 2 bags of mini eggs and a lindt bunny. 🤣

Why am I getting the urge to buy a keyboard, convinced I need a hobby to do In the evenings and I could end up being the next big classical composer this time next year 😂😭 I've never played the piano or keyboard in my life. I'm just so bored 😭 I can't go out in the evenings as a single parent so I feel stuck

@Shiningout I’m seriously considering buying myself a treadmill for the evenings. I don’t like walking around the local area in the dark and the rain makes exercising outside difficult. I just need to convince DH we have room for it…. and that it will get used 😆

Morning all. I managed not to drink last night, which means I’ve had three days AF now (and 8 in total in May). I only got 7 hours sleep last night (had trouble nodding off) but woke up feeling rested, fresh and ready for the day ahead. It’s moments like this when you wonder why you bother drinking at all.

Morning all. That’s a great update @flowers2024 . I’m now on day 18 (actually 1/18 given I drank at the wedding last Saturday) and I completely agree with you on the great feeling when you wake in the morning properly rested. I’m sure that’s part of what it helping me feel calmer overall.

Im still trying to focus on new things rather than thinking about what I’m missing without alcohol. I’m trying to walk more and am eyeing up a herb garden trug for my very small backyard as an entry into gardening!

Hope everyone has a good day

Great updates! I’m on 1/60 today. It’s 60 days since I joined the April thread and got my long term focus back. I’m also feeling strangely optimistic about June. I think mentally I’m counting down to the summer holidays. I know I moan about the school holidays, but there’s no denying it’s a slower pace of life. My youngest slept in until 7.20 this morning which is almost unheard of. We are chilling on the sofa before going for a bike ride later. Hope the weather holds out for us!

Treadmills all the way! I have one at home and it has massively changed the amount of exercise I do. I combine weights with a lot of uphill walking and am starting to run more now. And whilst I still look like my aunt Mildred (thank you Hugh Grant), it has really had an impact over the last year. Also really good to help wind down at the end of the day.

Treadmills all the way! I have one at home and it has massively changed the amount of exercise I do. I combine weights with a lot of uphill walking and am starting to run more now. And whilst I still look like my aunt Mildred (thank you Hugh Grant), it has really had an impact over the last year. Also really good to help wind down at the end of the day.

The treadmill is a great example of everything that doesn’t work in my brain. I want a treadmill. I want it to fold up and ideally have an incline. I start to research, FB marketplace first and quickly rule that out as too risky because of scams and bad condition.
So I start researching using google and my brain completely shuts down. There are just too many choices! Too many features. Too many sellers. Too many reviews and the price… well you can pay £100 or £1000.
I just can’t cope! Now it feels like a massive decision that I just can’t make. What I’d normally do it just ignore the pressure and not buy one. And then beat myself up for days or weeks for being too pathetic to do the research and take the risk. So really this is a good chance for me to try and change that…. Today is treadmill research day!

If I can ask, @TimesaChangeling does your one have a quiet function? I want to use it in front of the telly while DH drinks his red wine 🤣 will it be too loud to do that?

Ah no. I have a large quite noisy beasty tucked into a separate workout room. It definitely wouldn’t be okay with a tv but maybe it depends on whether you want to run or walk? If just the latter I am sure there are lots of walking pads that do the same which are quieter? Not sure about the incline aspect tho…