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Alcohol support

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Original poster

Day one.

45 replies

Flipflops123 · 03/04/2023 08:36

I never want to feel like this again.

I can’t go out without drinking.

My behaviour changes. I become horrible and/ or put myself in dangerous situations.

I black out.

I throw up.

I’ve been in bed for two days. Physically and emotionally I am broken.

My work is beginning to suffer.

My relationships are falling apart.

I can’t keep apologising.

I’ve realised today that I’m an alcoholic.

This is my Day One.

No more drinking.

OP posts:
theemmadilemma · 04/04/2023 12:54

Well done OP.

The sleep will come, your skin will improve, your eyes will show life and sparkle again (this always shines through to me), and your anxiety will drop.

Yes you will have to deal with 'the feels' again (as we in the know call them), but you will, and you will start to cope better and realise you are stronger without the alcohol hazing your mind.

Keep going, you will build confidence in yourself and find a beautiful new world.

Tedjewell · 04/04/2023 17:49

Stick with it. If you stay stopped you won’t have to go through that anymore and you’ll find the right kind of life

Battlecat98 · 04/04/2023 23:26

It really is worth it. I can't sleep at the moment and am having a tough time so very nearly caved but, I didn't and although I feel below parr, I feel better for staying sober. These are the hardest days. It does get so much better.

RubyMurry22 · 04/04/2023 23:38

I’m on day 99 today and feeling so much better than I was. I’ve been a binge drinker for many years with no off switch. The binges were becoming closer together and I was drinking a bottle of wine at home most nights. My anxiety was through the roof and I felt so guilty. Now I’m feeling so much better and I’ve got used to going on nights out without alcohol. I haven’t found the right thing to have with a meal yet though. My skin is better too and I’m sleeping much better. Haven’t lost any weight yet though!
Good luck 🍀

TooManyPlatesInMotion · 05/04/2023 11:49

Well done for making a start! It is tough but lots of support on here and well worth it.

I stopped on 1 Jan. This is the longest I have ever been sober (other than 3 pregnancies). I don't know if it will be forever, but I needed a major re-set that's for sure.

I was drinking most days, perhaps taking 1 in every 14 off. Lots and lots of wine - at home and out of the house. I felt appalling. My anxiety was through the roof and I utterly despised myself, but the more I despised myself the more I drank. I was constantly short tempered and snapping at the kids, I wasn't sleeping properly, I was a total mess.

Things have improved. Nothing is perfect, but just taking that first step really helps to make you feel a bit more in control.

TooManyPlatesInMotion · 05/04/2023 11:50

RubyMurry22 · 04/04/2023 23:38

I’m on day 99 today and feeling so much better than I was. I’ve been a binge drinker for many years with no off switch. The binges were becoming closer together and I was drinking a bottle of wine at home most nights. My anxiety was through the roof and I felt so guilty. Now I’m feeling so much better and I’ve got used to going on nights out without alcohol. I haven’t found the right thing to have with a meal yet though. My skin is better too and I’m sleeping much better. Haven’t lost any weight yet though!
Good luck 🍀

@RubyMurry22 I am still waiting for the weight loss to kick in too!

Battlecat98 · 06/04/2023 09:07

Morning how is everyone doing today? I avoided drinking yesterday so i am pleased about that, I need to get through today. I am on annual leave this week and normally would 'treat' myself to a bottle or 2.
I am just going day by day as I can't think long term.

I have found that I can wait out my craving,I, I read somewhere that this only really lasts about 30 minutes so I white knuckle it for a bit.

Original poster
Flipflops123 · 06/04/2023 14:43

Morning,

I'm doing ok I think.

Been invited out for cocktails. I froze. Just kinda said I'd check my diary. I won't be going but I'm realising how much my life was really based around alcohol.

Well done on waiting out the craving. I'm eating so much more. Transferring the addiction maybe?? It's a shame I have t transferred it to cleaning!

Keep going x

OP posts:
Scot75 · 07/04/2023 00:22

I’m on day 228. I was drinking to excess every day especially home alone.
Would fall asleep with patio doors open. Wake up with bruising that I didn’t know where it came from.
hit rock bottom one day and decided to go for a drive, still don’t know why and can hardly remember anything of the day. Barely remember the police station. Driving ban for 16 months and have to prove that I’m not drinking for a year. Living in a semi rural area with no car is shit when the public transport is so bad. Nearest supermarket 2 miles away so I got myself an E-scooter (legal where I live) and that also gets me to public transport that takes me to work.
Anxiety and not able to sleep in the first few weeks were the worst but now the anxiety has gone totally. I was just fuelling it with the booze and I no longer have FOMO. I think I’m funnier without the drink. And it’s great to remember everything. I feel that the real me is finally here.

Original poster
Flipflops123 · 07/04/2023 00:50

Scot75 · 07/04/2023 00:22

I’m on day 228. I was drinking to excess every day especially home alone.
Would fall asleep with patio doors open. Wake up with bruising that I didn’t know where it came from.
hit rock bottom one day and decided to go for a drive, still don’t know why and can hardly remember anything of the day. Barely remember the police station. Driving ban for 16 months and have to prove that I’m not drinking for a year. Living in a semi rural area with no car is shit when the public transport is so bad. Nearest supermarket 2 miles away so I got myself an E-scooter (legal where I live) and that also gets me to public transport that takes me to work.
Anxiety and not able to sleep in the first few weeks were the worst but now the anxiety has gone totally. I was just fuelling it with the booze and I no longer have FOMO. I think I’m funnier without the drink. And it’s great to remember everything. I feel that the real me is finally here.

Thanks for sharing your story. It made me smile at the end.
It's taken me a long time to realise it's feeding my anxiety instead of reducing it.
I'm still not sleeping. And I'm so anxious. But I've started to do some research and I'm so so positive about the future

OP posts:
Battlecat98 · 10/04/2023 10:52

Hi @Flipflops123 how are you? Hope you are still feeling strong. The long Easter weekend can be tough.

Original poster
Flipflops123 · 10/04/2023 11:10

Battlecat98 · 10/04/2023 10:52

Hi @Flipflops123 how are you? Hope you are still feeling strong. The long Easter weekend can be tough.

I'm doing ok... still not sleeping so feeling very tired today. However, I just know that my anxiety is nothing compared to the drunken behaviour and hangovers.
Went out for a family meal last night. I thought it would be really hard but actually everyone ordered diet cokes! It made me think if I'm normally the only one drinking! I really enjoyed it! I knew I wasn't slurring my words, I didn't have to second guess myself at all. I felt like it was a huge achievement.

Thank you for checking in with me. I'm finding this thread so helpful.

How is everyone else doing?

OP posts:
Battlecat98 · 10/04/2023 11:47

I agree it's the second guessing and am I slurring my words? You don't really notice these things until you are not drinking. For me the sleep took 3 weeks but it was amazing. You forget as you are used to bad sleep. It's amazing the things you put up with.

Original poster
Flipflops123 · 26/04/2023 12:23

How is everyone doing?

I've had a couple of 'tests' this week.
Yesterday something happened at work at the end of the day. It was the sort of thing that I think 'I'll need a drink tonight/ I deserve a drink tonight'. When I realised, I felt a shame wash over me. I got a huge headache, again which is normally counter with a drink.

But I resisted. I took paracetamol, had a long soak in the bath and cuddled my kids. It worked wonders.

A bit later I got a text from a friend asking me for drinks on Friday. I miss her, we need a catch up. Of course I could have invited her over to mine for a takeaway and Diet Coke. But I'm just not ready yet. The connection is still there. I'll suggest a softplay date with the kids soon so we can chat while they play. But socially I'm just not ready.

However I do have plans to meet a friend for coffee Saturday morning and I'm really looking forward to it!!

Plus... I'm finally sleeping!

OP posts:
Cheesecakeandwineinasuitcase · 26/04/2023 12:31

I’ve gone from drinking half a bottle of wine every evening (plus an additional gin or 2 at weekends) to no drinking at all in the week and just 2 glass of wine 2 days over the weekend. I’ve only done this for about 2 weeks and I’ve lost 5lbs in weight, I feel less anxious, sleep better and feel better in the mornings. You can do this op. If I ever have a wobble I just Google and remind myself of the benefits of cutting down alcohol consumption.

wannabedry · 18/12/2023 07:55

@Flipflops123 how are you getting on? Hopefully still off the booze! Do you have any tips or advice for someone who sounds like you did, someone with no off switch. I need a clean break. Thank you

Original poster
Flipflops123 · 18/12/2023 20:42

wannabedry · 18/12/2023 07:55

@Flipflops123 how are you getting on? Hopefully still off the booze! Do you have any tips or advice for someone who sounds like you did, someone with no off switch. I need a clean break. Thank you

Hi,

All good here thank you!

Here are some tips off the top of my head:

  1. Accept it will be hard.
  1. Ask the absolute closest to you to support you.
  1. Remember that you don't owe anybody an explanation
  1. Refuse all social invitations for a couple of months unless with those that will absolutely support you.
  1. If you need to drink around certain people, get rid of them from your life.
  1. Drive everywhere.
  1. Accept that some people are dickheads.
  1. Learn to love yourself

For me, the biggest moment was realising after a meal out that I was absolutely sure that I hadn't said anything I hadn't quite remembered... I.e I felt back in control of my life. I didn't have to wonder if I was giggling because I was drunk... I was simply giggling. And I haven't stopped giggling since. I still have a great time, just without the post-drink anxiety.

It's also surprising the clarity you feel.

Plus hot chocolate tastes great!

Good luck.

It will be ok.

OP posts:
LampHat · 18/12/2023 20:49

@Flipflops123 I didn’t see your thread back in April so just read all of your posts up to today. What an incredible achievement. Your post almost made me cry. You are amazing. Merry Christmas! 🤶

Original poster
Flipflops123 · 18/12/2023 20:53

LampHat · 18/12/2023 20:49

@Flipflops123 I didn’t see your thread back in April so just read all of your posts up to today. What an incredible achievement. Your post almost made me cry. You are amazing. Merry Christmas! 🤶

Thank you x merry Christmas x

OP posts:
wannabedry · 19/12/2023 07:36

Thank you so much @Flipflops123 - I am going to keep strong by thinking about my 'why' and playing the tape forwards.

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