Day one.

[Flipflops123]

I never want to feel like this again.

I can’t go out without drinking.

My behaviour changes. I become horrible and/ or put myself in dangerous situations.

I black out.

I throw up.

I’ve been in bed for two days. Physically and emotionally I am broken.

My work is beginning to suffer.

My relationships are falling apart.

I can’t keep apologising.

I’ve realised today that I’m an alcoholic.

This is my Day One.

No more drinking.

Well done. Get as much support as you can.

Thank you. I've just text my husband. He's been trying to tell me for years. When my friends brought me home Saturday night and I was throwing up on the street, he told them he expected it. I feel so ashamed.

You can do it..one day at a time. And get all the support you can. Also read some of the quit lit that is out there. It will help reinforce the reasons why you are doing it and show that others have been in exactly the same position. Good luck!

Please don’t feel ashamed, it’s an addiction and you’re addressing it. Feel proud, feel excited for the future. You are doing such a great thing, for your health, family, friends. I am cheering you on 💖

I stopped drinking nearly 20 years ago I suggest you don’t try to do it alone. Alcoholism affects you in all sorts of ways stopping drinking is one part but staying stopped is the hard bit

I wholeheartedly recommend reading Allen Carr's Easy Way to Control Alcohol. Makes you see alcohol completely differently, makes you want to quit. Once you don't want to drink alcohol anymore, it's easy not to. Also took away years of shame and embarrassment for me. Very interesting book that doesn't follow the idea that staying stopped will be an ongoing struggle. It's not, it's wonderful.

The best thing is, that it's not drinking that truly gives you the benefits that alcohol deceitfully promises you. More confidence, ability to relax, lovely restful sleep and so much more.

Many times I'd wake up filled with shame and a punishing hangover, vowing to stop but until I read this book, those feelings would fade and I'd be back out doing it all again. I wish you well, there is so much to look forward to.

@Flipflops123 - hugs and a virtual anti-anxiety medication for you!

Ive been where you are many times. Sadly the things you listed have happened to me - husband left me (back together now), lost my job (voluntary redundancy but technically being sacked with a pay out), fractured relationships with DC and friends. Passing out in hedges. Falling asleep in trains and getting taken off by the guard at the end of the line. Broken bones and bruises. Physical fights with DH and DC……need I say more? It was BAD.

I’m still not quite “there” yet but I’m a million times better.

I don’t have the answer but I wanted to reach out to you and say I am rooting for you and please please please don’t let yourself get to where I was. If I can help one person achieve that, I’ll at least think something good has come from my hellish experiences.

keep posting and reach out when you need to as this is not an easy road to travel and you will have speed bumps to negotiate 💐❤️

Hi there. This is great timing for me. I am day 1 today as well. I wasted yesterday and feel awful today. I drink to make myself feel better but that's an awful excuse as it makes my MH so much worse.
Happy to support you.

Another one jumping in the day 1 train with you.

Perfect timing for me too so thank you for putting this out there! Yesterday was my day one. I reached a new low on Saturday getting drunk on wine in front of DS11 and falling up the stairs. Unable to get up for about 10 minutes and him stepping over me snapping "you're drunk!" I feel so ashamed but writing it down makes it even worse. I can't carry on this way but scared I don't have the willpower to say no

Honestly it's a bloody nightmare. I was sober for nearly a year last year, I know I can do it but I am also worried about my willpower. I need to dig out my quit lit. Just apologised to my daughter and she said I just don't understand it you are you but weird and there is a horrible atmosphere 😔.

I am on day two. Got ridiculously scarily drunk Saturday night and alcohol gives me no positives in my life. This time I really need to go alcohol free; I've got the "unexpected joy of being sober", what else should I listen to/read to help change my mindset about booze?

Battlecat a year is amazing!!! That's a massive achievement!

I've just downloaded that one too on Audible. Yesterday I started listening to Glorious Rock Bottom by Bryony Gordon which I'm liking so far.

What is everyone's main issues? Mine is binge drinking. I can go a few days without a drink at home but as soon as I'm out for dinner or with friends I just don't have it in me to say no. I have no off switch and can't just have the one wine it has to be 3 large ones or however many I can cram into the meal until it's time to leave. On a night out I have no control whatsoever so down drink after drink after drink. I do stupid things, say stupid things, become argumentative with my DP. I remember absolutely nothing the next day and feel awful for days. Then soon enough it's Thursday and I want to do it all over again. Except I don't want to do it but scared I don't have the will power to stop

Thank you so much everyone. It took so much for me to accept I have a problem. Thanks for the book recommendations too.
I'm cheering you all on too!! X

The average heavy drinker can moderate or stop drinking not so with alcoholism as one poster put it the off switch is broken. I tried in the early days on my own willpower I found that will power is as much use in stopping alcoholism as it is with stopping diarrhoea.

Take it easy on yourself for the next few days. Make sure you drink plenty of water, and let your body start healing.

I would go to your GP and talk about options. I know this is a big step but hiding the extent of your drinking problem is what's led you to this point. Starting to talk about it is the only way out. Your GP may want to do some blood tests, or recommend some supplements. I have folic acid in mind although I can't remember why!

The book that really helped me is this one: https://amzn.eu/d/gHj1RRI Non-judgmental and straight talking.

Next thing to look at are your triggers. Drinking on a night out is manageable in the short term by not going on nights out, longer term you need strategies for not drinking there. But more insidious is drinking at home. Sometimes the triggers are not obvious but quite often they relate to getting in from work / starting evening meal prep / Sunday lunch, whatever it may be. Start to look for them and plan for them. You may find if you can get through to 8pm or 9pm the desire to drink that night subsides.

Keep your hands busy. I started off playing games on a Nintendo DS, then got back into knitting. Make sure those hands are not itching for something to hold.

Good luck. The best day to take control of your drinking is always today.

Some really good ideas here, thank you.

I can go without drinking at home when it's just me and my husband and the kids. But then I invite people over and the drink comes out.
My main problem is binge drinking on nights out. I don't know when to stop, I mix shots and wine and spirits. I black out. I throw up. I always have to make sure I have nights out planned 'to get me through the week'. I self-medicate trauma overhang and think I'm coping. I. Think I'm funny but I'm just humiliating myself time and time again.

On the surface I'm professional, confident and warm. But I'm a wreck. My self-esteem is on the floor. Then a new person started at work and I had previously met a friend of hers on a night out. She says the one thing her friend remembers about me is how much I can drink. I was so embarrassed.

I feel so much better for facing up to it. I've cancelled all nights out for a few months and just want to spend time with my family, getting better, and being the person I am, not the drunken arsehole I've become.

Thank you for all your support on this thread. I work full time, study every evening and raise my kids so I've always felt somehow like my blow outs were 'justified'. I'm 43. I should not be throwing up and blacking out. Time to start afresh. X

Well done OP, such a courageous thing to do, to face up to what alcohol is doing. 2 and a half years sober here and the best thing I ever did for myself. The number one book I would recommend is This Naked Mind by Annie Grace, it worked like magic for me and gave me that mental shift that I don't HAVE to drink anymore.

Another great one is Quit Like a Woman by Holly Whittaker.

Good luck! Keep posting, it really does get easier 💪

I was similar btw, could happily not drink at home but went for it when I went out, drank too quickly, got drunk really quickly and the next day would be throwing up and couldn't remember the night before. Was 39 when I stopped and had a wicked sober 40th.

I'm going to order some of these books today. Thanks for all the suggestions x

I'm with you guys. I'm day 4. I drank every day for years and years ranging from a glass of wine with food or up to 3-4 beers or wines a night. ( not including the socials and getting drunk on occasion).

It was my 'treat' as I have a very stressful live but I'm killing myself so some treat. It might be too late for me yet. I'm awaiting a scan for borderline liver function test. I feel unwell all the time.

But regardless I'm doing this.

Good luck to you all too

It's strange how something so damaging is so readily available. I highly recommend Alan Carr and Craig Beck. I found listening to them really worked for me.
Also magnesium spray at night time. If I remember rightly it took about 3 weeks for sleep to improve.
Lots of self care is essential as sobriety is hard . Here is to day 2 onwards and upwards.

How are we all doing?

I'm not sleeping.

I feel awful.

My skin feels terrible.

I've spent a fortune on clothes to distract myself.

I had a very upsetting conversation with my husband last night. I feel so anxious. I know the drunk was only feeding the anxiety. But it's a big old world sober.

I have a first birthday party to go to on Saturday afternoon. But the adults are big drinkers. It will be lovely to go with my husband and kids and be present. Aware. There. I'm looking forward to having a Diet Coke and dancing with the kids!
I'm anxious at the thought of socialising sober but I know it'll be nothing compared to the anxiety of waking up hungover. Or waking up still drunk.

Making lots of family plans like the cinema. My husband has cleared the house of drink.

I'm excited about the future