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Alcohol support
This weekend will be different!!
LoveShitJokes · 07/11/2022 18:07
FUCKING FED UP with ruining EVERY weekend binge drinking. I've been doing it for way too long now, since lockdown one. Why can't I just be normal and stick to one bottle on a Saturday night like everyone else?! Instead of caning it 3, 4 days in a row. This last weekend was another failure. On Friday night and again yesterday I actually ended up tipping the second half away... I didn't even really want any of it. It's just a shit, horrible habit that's carried on from last year when I was using alcohol as an anti depressant. Even though it's the worst thing you can probably do to curb anxiety and self loathing. I absolutely hated myself today. Another unproductive weekend having diarrhoea... of absolutely hating myself. The disappointment, the embarrassment, the fear. It's awful. I stopped for a good while earlier this year and it felt brilliant waking up fresh, being able to go for a run, being able to go food shopping and not having to cancel everything because I can't drive. Not being too scared to answer the phone in case someone realises I'm slurring. I have a breathalyser... that "beep, beep, beep" telling me I'm over the limit is so awful. It might as well say "you dirtbag you've done it again".
This Thursday night I will go for a long walk and tire myself out, on Friday I will cook something nice and watch a film. I will NOT spend another pointless, self pitying weekend drowning my liver for absolutely no real reason at all.
The disappointment and the guilt is vile 😞
JaquiRussell · 07/11/2022 18:57
Rather than seeing this as something you're giving up. See it for what it really is, something you are gaining!!
You've experienced feeling fresh, clear and shame free before - it's brilliant!! I'm 10 months in and feeling excited about sobriety not guilt about alcohol is liberating. Flip your mind set and see it as a positive. Quit lit books like Unexpected Joy of Being Sober and Alcohol Explained really helped me.
Honestly, just do it. Throw yourself into looking after yourself!!
LoveShitJokes · 07/11/2022 19:18
It is brilliant... I'll be honest I doubt I'll ever be 100% tee total. I don't want to cut out I just want to cut down and know when to stop again. But just a safe, normal amount would work for me. Not bottle after bottle after bottle. Days in a row. I don't want to live like that! I want to have a bubble bath and listen to some nice soothing music when the working week is over, to relax with a cup of tea watching telly. To get up while it's still dark and do a lovely bacon sandwich before heading off out for a long bike ride. To curl up with a book and be at peace with myself. Not hating myself for caning 50+ units of alcohol, most of which I didn't even want and had I stopped to think about it I would have quite happily admitted I was knackered anyway and just gone to bed. I need to make friends with myself and be kind to myself again x
LoveShitJokes · 08/11/2022 21:18
Anyone else in my boat planning a healthier weekend? X
whatllitbeeeee · 10/11/2022 09:21
Yep me. I'm pissed off with myself for getting pissed last night and feeling like shit this morning. I have no off switch, so it's all or nothing for me and it has to be nothing from now on as all is slowly killing me. I actually feel like death this morning and I'm embarrassed by myself and my lack of control.
So, zero tolerance from now on. No alcohol, regardless of what anyone else in my company is doing.
How are you getting on?
LoveShitJokes · 10/11/2022 18:15
I'm okay today. This time last week I was on my way to smashing down two bottles of wine just for the sake of it, followed by lager tomorrow. Tonight I've come home and ran a bath. I'm going food shopping later whilst it's quiet and I've just run a nice hot bath. Tomorrow I'm planning an early 8 mile walk, hopefully followed by a take away and a film tomorrow night. Tomorrow night will be the real challenge...
MichaelFabricantWig · 10/11/2022 23:09
Good for you.
Your post really hits home how drinking just isn’t worth it.
whatllitbeeeee · 11/11/2022 06:56
Well done on yesterday, I spent 99% of mine in bed. Back to being a grown up today. Need to sort some bits for my youngest's birthday tomorrow, clean the house and take the dogs for a massive long (and very muddy) walk.
I'm going to try and avoid falling on my arse this time and getting covered in mud whilst my middle one almost sets herself laughing at me trying to get up and sliding back down. Took me about six attempts and I only succeeded the last time as I basically clawed my way up using the middle one's coat 🤣
I hope your 8! mile walk is less adventurous.
Planning on slow cooker chilli, tv and crocheting like an old lady to keep me on the straight and narrow tonight.
What kind of takeaway are you going for? If it's a Chinese I'm going to be super jealous.
We've got this! No caving tonight and then waking up feeling like death and wondering what shit we chatted the night before. Far better to wake up feeling refreshed and smug that we managed one of the most difficult nights of the week.
BryceQuinlanTheFirst · 11/11/2022 07:02
On sat night can you book something that doesn't centre on alcohol? Cinema? Go to a yoga class?
LoveShitJokes · 11/11/2022 07:11
I'm up today already, I'll shower soon and head off out and keep myself busy all day. So I'll be tired this evening, I'll probably go with an Indian and binge watch The Crown 5. It's lovely waking up fresh! I will enjoy a bottle on Saturday but that's fine in my book I don't want to go tee total just back to normal amounts. It will be nice to enjoy a drink again with a clear conscience. I never thought I'd end up drinking as much as I have been in the last two years but a lot of shit happened, I have been very depressed and life just got the better of me. The SHAME. I have lost count of the amount of times I've dived for my phone the next morning to see if I've messaged anyone. Or the embarrassment when I have done just that and my words made no sense whatsoever because I was so shit faced. Usually alone. I've had a couple of nights in with my friends over the last couple of months and I've not overdone it or acted like a twat so I hope this phase is finally coming to an end.
Right, off for that shower...
Onewildandpreciouslife · 11/11/2022 07:28
Good luck tonight. What’s your dream ending to the end of the evening? I used to imagine myself in bed sober with a book and a herbal tea.
Your brain will probably start telling you at some point this afternoon (it was usually about 3pm for me) that tonight will be different, and that you deserve just the one glass to unwind because you’re so tired….. Shut those thoughts down quickly (nope - not tonight) and focus on your ideal end to the day.
JaquiRussell · 11/11/2022 07:28
OP what do you mean it will be nice to enjoy a drink again tomorrow?!
Your first post details how you can't just "stick to one bottle" and how you end up hating yourself the following day whilst spending most of it on the loo.
Having 4 days off whilst you recover does not suddenly make this Saturday any different from the last. You claim you wish you were a normal drinker, if there is such a thing. Normal drinkers don't write your original post OP. I'd really suggest a much longer look at your drinking than 4 days.
garlicandsapphires · 11/11/2022 07:33
I am finding sobriety to be almost addictive - I hope you discover this for yourself.
LoveShitJokes · 11/11/2022 07:41
Onewildandpreciouslife · 11/11/2022 07:28
Good luck tonight. What’s your dream ending to the end of the evening? I used to imagine myself in bed sober with a book and a herbal tea.
Your brain will probably start telling you at some point this afternoon (it was usually about 3pm for me) that tonight will be different, and that you deserve just the one glass to unwind because you’re so tired….. Shut those thoughts down quickly (nope - not tonight) and focus on your ideal end to the day.
Thank you. I'm really looking forward to my take away it's a rare treat these days due to the COL crisis. We're all cutting back I think. I should really go and pick it up but I want the whole hog, that amazing knock on the door lol. I shall have the plate and cutlery ready 😋
LoveShitJokes · 11/11/2022 07:44
JaquiRussell · 11/11/2022 07:28
OP what do you mean it will be nice to enjoy a drink again tomorrow?!
Your first post details how you can't just "stick to one bottle" and how you end up hating yourself the following day whilst spending most of it on the loo.
Having 4 days off whilst you recover does not suddenly make this Saturday any different from the last. You claim you wish you were a normal drinker, if there is such a thing. Normal drinkers don't write your original post OP. I'd really suggest a much longer look at your drinking than 4 days.
As I've said I don't want (or feel the need) to cut out alcohol altogether. I do enjoy a drink, but I want to go back to once per week rather than binging for days on end. I want off that train. That may not be good enough for judgy people on here, but it's good enough for me. I'm a very "routiney" person, so if I can stick to my plans this weekend there's a better chance of doing it again next weekend and the one after that. I know my own mind 👍
Zeebeededodah · 11/11/2022 08:00
Have a look at the TryDry app - saw it recommended on insta by Scummy Mummy Helen Thorn. Feels like a sticker chart for not drinking if that helps motivate you over the coming weeks! Quite satisfying ticking dry days and also record units so you aren't lying about how much you've drunk!
teaandtoastwithmarmite · 11/11/2022 10:53
It's great that you want to do that but I do think you need a period of total abstinence first. I had a horrendous 27/12 last year due to a session of binge drinking on Boxing Day and general drunken twattiness. I gave up completely until July and had the odd one. Have not drunk at home at all though. I went to a party a couple of months ago and the day after I could tell how close I'd come to being a drunk twat again so dialled it down again.
LoveShitJokes · 11/11/2022 15:22
Onewildandpreciouslife · 11/11/2022 07:28
Good luck tonight. What’s your dream ending to the end of the evening? I used to imagine myself in bed sober with a book and a herbal tea.
Your brain will probably start telling you at some point this afternoon (it was usually about 3pm for me) that tonight will be different, and that you deserve just the one glass to unwind because you’re so tired….. Shut those thoughts down quickly (nope - not tonight) and focus on your ideal end to the day.
The 3pm lure is correct! 😫
PosiePerkinPootleFlump · 11/11/2022 15:23
'I don't want (or feel the need) to cut out alcohol altogether. I do enjoy a drink, but I want to go back to once per week rather than binging for days on end. I want off that train. That may not be good enough for judgy people on here, but it's good enough for me'
I spent years with that ambition. Despite repeated resolutions, it never happened.
I read Alcohol Explained by William Potter and it helped me understand why I find that so hard. I am now not drinking at all and I am genuinely enthusiastic about being sober. Not because of some puritanical crap, but because I changed my mindset about it. So it doesn't feel like I'm in denial, but like I'm free.
It is admittedly earlyish days - 2.5 months in. But I don't feel like I'll change my mind
Claire Pooley's blog (Sobermummy) is also really good on why moderation is so hard for some of us.
Onewildandpreciouslife · 11/11/2022 16:47
@LoveShitJokes I know, I’ve been there! Shut down the thoughts - not tonight. “Tonight, I am going to bed sober with a book, and tomorrow morning I will wake up without a hangover, and it will be beautiful”.
Hang in there
MichaelFabricantWig · 11/11/2022 16:58
LoveShitJokes · 11/11/2022 07:44
As I've said I don't want (or feel the need) to cut out alcohol altogether. I do enjoy a drink, but I want to go back to once per week rather than binging for days on end. I want off that train. That may not be good enough for judgy people on here, but it's good enough for me. I'm a very "routiney" person, so if I can stick to my plans this weekend there's a better chance of doing it again next weekend and the one after that. I know my own mind 👍
JaquiRussell · 11/11/2022 07:28
OP what do you mean it will be nice to enjoy a drink again tomorrow?!
Your first post details how you can't just "stick to one bottle" and how you end up hating yourself the following day whilst spending most of it on the loo.
Having 4 days off whilst you recover does not suddenly make this Saturday any different from the last. You claim you wish you were a normal drinker, if there is such a thing. Normal drinkers don't write your original post OP. I'd really suggest a much longer look at your drinking than 4 days.
I don’t think it’s fair to label people who are only trying to help and sharing their own experience of trying to moderate as “judgy”.
I genuinely wish you all the best with it but me and many others find it impossible to moderate a substance which by its natural is addictive.
MichaelFabricantWig · 11/11/2022 16:59
PosiePerkinPootleFlump · 11/11/2022 15:23
'I don't want (or feel the need) to cut out alcohol altogether. I do enjoy a drink, but I want to go back to once per week rather than binging for days on end. I want off that train. That may not be good enough for judgy people on here, but it's good enough for me'
I spent years with that ambition. Despite repeated resolutions, it never happened.
I read Alcohol Explained by William Potter and it helped me understand why I find that so hard. I am now not drinking at all and I am genuinely enthusiastic about being sober. Not because of some puritanical crap, but because I changed my mindset about it. So it doesn't feel like I'm in denial, but like I'm free.
It is admittedly earlyish days - 2.5 months in. But I don't feel like I'll change my mind
Claire Pooley's blog (Sobermummy) is also really good on why moderation is so hard for some of us.
That was the book that was the game changer for me. Over 400 days sober now and no desire whatsoever to drink again.
LoveShitJokes · 11/11/2022 18:34
Well the urge has passed, I've enjoyed a nice dinner and shall be heading off to bed early with a book having been up since 7am and out and about all day. I know I've far from "cracked it" and I admit I am looking forward to a bit of bubbly tomorrow night with the new Taylor Swift album, but I cannot WAIT to wake up feeling guilt free tomorrow morning. If I can keep doing this every weekend I shall feel a lot better about my lifestyle x
Onewildandpreciouslife · 12/11/2022 07:21
Good morning! Well done.
Feels good, doesn’t it?!
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