Sober October - Penguin huddle and chat

[goldfinchonthelawn]

@brightspice has a great thread going on how to do Sober October with a difference, with inspirational actions to take each day.

I'm on there but also fancied a general chat and penguin huddle for anyone up for it, so as not to hijack that focused thread with other stuff.

penguin huddles came about on a Dry Jan thread a couple of years ago. If you feel like a drink and struggle, come to the huddle and we tuck you up in the middle and surround you until you feel ready to waddle off into sobriety again.

Yesterday I had cranberry and soda while all around me were dirnking gin and wine. I loved waking up with a clear head.

Here are some penguins for Day 2.

Same! Well done you.
I surprised myself and I'm proud of myself.

morning @Soberoct i have teens ironically! Now they are at secondary they leave earlier so I get up to ensure they have breakfast. I also have a weak bladdered dog and a cat who thinks I starve him if not fed by 6!

@madmumofteens i think parties are the toughest like @goldfinchonthelawn said, I bet you are still drinking less than you would be otherwise?

welocome @Sago1 I’d love to visit Oslo! I’m also hoping to lose some weight as my jeans are getting pretty tight. 12 days in I can’t help but feel a little disappointed that other than a good nights rest I can’t physically see any benefits. But I have to remember that a) A good nights sleep is amazing and b) I’m not going to reverse 30 years of heavy drinking in 2 weeks!!

@Stircrazyschoolmum wow sounds tough with the Pets lol but amazing 12 days ??? That's something you should be proud of. And yes sleep is better but you will feel better at the end of October trust me! Are you going to drink November? I went out yesterday with the family and shared wine arghh but I don't feel bad about it. Back to huddle until Saturday this time I'm going to make it!!!

Well done @PaperwhiteTheGhost and @JamMakingWannaBe wonderful. I hope I will be able to buy something sweet today after work to settle those cravings come 5 6pm..

Can I join. I have been hopeless. Always trying to moderate without success. Yesterday I had a bottle of wine all to myself. For no reason other than I was bored :(

Today I'm going to go for a walk at the time the cravings usually set in and see if that helps.

I had a real moment off the back of your post this morning, looking at the most amazing tree whilst on a dog walk. (Sounds batty I know!) Usually on a Friday, I'm shuffling along head down and hoping I don't run into someone I know. This morning, I stopped and gazed in almost wonderment at the vivid colours on this tree I must walk past all the time... I thought 'wow, this is as good as it gets!'

@Stircrazyschoolmum there’s nothing batty about it! It’s wonderful to hear. That’s what it’s all about.

I’ve been out of the huddle and off mn/social media for a few days now. I was feeling it was taking me away from the present- I started thinking about what people were saying and then thinking in the back of my mind “I’ll post such and such later” - then finding the thing I was doing In the present moment tedious or infuriating and feeling like I was observing things I’d normally drink in with wonder- like beautiful golden sunshine dappled through autumn leaves - at a remove. I think all habitual/addictive things -alcohol, social media, cigarettes, whatever- have the same negative, disconnecting function - they wedge their fat backsides between us and the wonder of life.

So I managed my late shift without having a drink when I got in... then fell off the wagon in spectacular fashion last night when I stayed up till 4am on the internet and drank 2 bottles of red.

Today I wasted the morning sleeping it off and I'm back to being ashamed of myself and worried about why I just can't either not drink at all or stop at one or two drinks :-(

@youboozeyoulose - Welcome into the huddle.

Tonight I will mostly be drinking cranberry and sparkling water. I am going to make a massive glass of it so as not to be tempted by DH who keeps forgetting I am doing S O and pouring me glasses of wine.

I have slipped up twice and noticed how much better I sleep if I am sober. Way better. I need a good night's sleep tonight for an early start tomorrow.

Ah @PaperwhiteTheGhost i feel for you.

it’s hard to get a good perspective with a hangover. Remember that alcohol is a depressant and a lot of those negative feelings like shame and fear you get on a hangover are actually chemically induced. You have effectively wiped out your serotonin reserves and need to give yourself some happy stuff to start generating them again. Give yourself some af happy treats tonight.

That's a good point, thank you.
I'm at DPs place this evening, he doesn't drink much at all and worries about my drinking so he won't be offering me anything! He's cooking me dinner and I've got a tea on the go.

That sounds perfect @PaperwhiteTheGhost . I remember reading somewhere that a lot of serotonin is produced when you look forward to something. What I do if I am a bit depleted is research things I want to do and see - holidays, theatre, etc and maybe book them. It works wonders.

@PaperwhiteTheGhost I wish I could give you a big hug! I know only too well that if I have one glass it will lead to two bottles very easily! Please don't feel ashamed of being addicted to an addictive drug!! I hope you are having a lovely evening with your partner and can put it behind you - what's done is done.

@EndlessTea good for you for having the will power to step back from the tech.. sometimes it feels like my phone is my third hand! I'm really enjoying sunrises at the moment - one advantage of the darker mornings!

@Soberoct pets aren't so bad most of the time.. they are more needy than the kids but good for cuddles and the dog gets me outside and walking. I think I will continue after Oct if I can avoid the cravings, although tbh I haven't been tested by any big nights out yet. I did start having thoughts about what to do at Christmas but have decided to shelve that one for now.

@goldfinchonthelawn I would throttle my DH if he did that! He is sipping wine tonight and looking guilty whilst I look on smugly with a peppermint tea. I'm enjoying lots of varieties of sparkling water - sainsbury's have a new one which is mint, lime and cucumber - only problem is I'm getting dreadful wind!! 😂

@PaperwhiteTheGhost that would be me as well! I leave an inch in the 2nd bottle sometimes to prove I didn't drink both bottles. Not sure what I'm trying to prove there or to who!

I've been ill since the wknd & can't eat, if that weren't the case, I would have been on the wine by now I'm sure!!

Small steps are fine. The post drinking anxiety is the worst so hoping that parts done for you by now!

Just to add to my post above, bloody DH has had one large glass then corked the bottle and gone to bed. He’s hidden it in a cupboard which makes it forbidden but available., Im fuming.. partly because it feels like an inconsiderate and unnecessary thing to do to me on a Wednesday but even more so WHATS THE POINT OF ONLY DRINKING ONE GLASS?!? 🤣🤬

Hmmm best get to bed before I do something I regret.. I’m trying to reframe it as a good test of my mindset.. don’t want it.. not drinking it!!

Ah thanks guys, you've made me feel better and it's good to know I'm not the only one!

@Stircrazyschoolmum omg I'd be able to physically hear the wine calling!!!

Hi huddle! Hope you are all well! @Stircrazyschoolmum I feel like I'm you the way you talk about your H and the wine wow and then I'd get ratty though thinning wtf did you put the wine back you absolute nutter! But yeah I get it. He didn't drink yesterday and I was so hectic the entire day and night that wine witch didn't have a chance to knock on my door so I happily went to bed and had an amazing sleep without wine! Although I've woken up with a headache possibly lack of water but I did sub the wine for enormous amounts of chocolate and sugary drinks. Oh well. Well done to all of you trying ! I've done that before @EndlessTea when I've ended up booking or buying things thinking I didn't drink so deserve it but then I think of all the times I drunk purchased many items...

Has anyone tried McGuigan Shiraz Zero? For me, it’s the best AF red so far. It has that velvety/silky texture of red wine and although I wouldn’t want to drink a whole bottle, I find that it psychologically covers that ‘first lovely sip’ after the pour. Other AF wines taste too sweet and concentrated.
If I am cooking with the radio on I find a glass of it on the counter helps me get into and enjoy it.

Happy Sunday everyone! We are half way through October already!

@EndlessTea I haven’t tried that one but will make a note too once I’m drinking alcohol substitutes again. Tbh I find ‘fake’ wines in general too sweet and red ones almost like Ribena! The fizz is not so bad and good for Xmas or other celebrations. Right now I’m keeping to soft drinks as they seem to be working fine.

@Soberoct how did you get on last night? Are you feeling ok today? DH managed to eek that bottle out till Friday, then on Sat promptly bought another one 😡seems I’m destined to stare at an open bottle of wine for evermore.. but good desensitisation I guess!

@goldfinchonthelawn @PaperwhiteTheGhost @RuLu how are you? Any nice plans for the day? The suns shining here but I’m still in bed.. 8 hours sleep last night which is the most for ages.

I remembered another benefit of not drinking when wobbling yesterday.. I don’t have to worry if I smell of stale booze the next morning! So funny how quickly I forgot that one and it used to really bother me.. take care all. xx

Happy Sunday @Stircrazyschoolmum and all!

Don’t worry if you’ve cracked and ended up drinking again huddlers.

Start a new day, show yourself some kindness, have some fresh air and nature. There’s no judgement- struggling doesn’t make you a bad person.
You deserve to enjoy all the best things the Earth has to offer.

Hope you have a great week!

Hi @Stircrazyschoolmum well done to you for getting half way! Wish I could say the same but I've been better than I was! That's the aim anyway not the daily drinking. My H came in early hours of the morning and I have anxiety when he doesn't bother telling me he will be late it doesn't happen often but along with wine and the anxiety at 230am waiting for him to come home until 5am was hard. If I hadnt drank I'm pretty sure I would have slept through...anyway hope everyone else is fine too!

Evening everyone. I’ve been doing reasonably well. I think I’ve drank twice. Early mornings at work have helped curb the desire to drink, as I physically can’t get up at 5.30am after drinking.

Hi huddle
I've been... OK. I've drunk less than I did before and had 2 AF days last week- I wasn't working so that's a bit of an achievement. I've had a cold for the last couple of days so a lunch out on Friday was postponed. I'd have had a drink there. I went out for an amazing roast with DP today. I had wine- I find it really hard to eat a meal out without wine.

I'm on nights this week so won't be drinking- but I never do when I'm working so that's not any kind of achievement!!

@Soberoct sending you a big hug. ((((HUG))))) I’m not sure how you cope with that tbh.. I get grumpy if my teen comes in past 12.00 and DH is usually tucked up in bed at 9.30! I’m not clear if he’s working or socialising till that time but he should at least text if he’s going to be very late or perhaps agree in advance to stay at a friends so you can head to bed? (Sorry! solutionising!)

@Bookaholic73 @PaperwhiteTheGhost Any reduction is good right? It must be really hard working shifts and having to adapt your routine all the time. I work 3 eves a week till 9.00 which helps with alcohol consumption, although it adds to the temptation to go all out on a Thursday!

Going away with DD for three nights today which will be a combination of fun and stressful. I’ll be the sole responsible adult which should be enough to keep me on the straight and narrow.

Happy rainy Monday penguins. xx

@Stircrazyschoolmum thank you for the great big hug I needed it! I already had told him to stay at his friends who had got a hotel in the area but he wanted to come home as I am normally up out early with one child Sunday mornings and then he collects etc anyway it's done and there was no actual major fighting (only text message me being a tad angry) but he acknowledged and apologised and we got on with it . Hope you are having a lovely time away with your DD!

I haven't drunk yesterday and not planning to until Saturday /Sunday again. I'm quite proud of myself actually from not daily drinking and these kind of threads help a lot.

Take care everyone

All good here. Lost some weight which is an added bonus. Going away for the weekend & wavering between trying to abstain & trying to limit!!