The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life!

[Fortheloveofgodwhy]

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling

So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile

T@Champoopapihank you to for hosting the last thread 💜

And here’s to the next 40 pages grin

Morning All,

Hope everyone is ok.

@Kindtomyself , similar to @LydiaLurk in that I don't think we've met before but hi and hope your day goes ok.

@SavBbunny It sounds good you have your friend to go with you next week.

It's so warm already here. Quite annoying that I got my hair cut last thing yesterday - the beast was tamed - but I'm already mirroring that scene from Monica from friends, fab.

@Lydialurk really good point about the heat. I also credit these threads with navigating my way out of the maze of drink and despair
A year ago I would checking I had ‘enough’ cider, wine and tonic in the fridge……
one less thing on my to do list!
have a good weekend and stay safe all
checking in

Hi all, hope you are all doing as well as can be and staying cool, both literally and figuratively!

All the times we have a victory is a chance to celebrate. Not adding wine to the shopping basket or politely declining “just the one” from “friends” etc.
It really isn’t a small thing.
I think it works the other way too, when we get back on the wagon again.

I’m coming up for 3 months af. 3 months is the longest I’ve ever stopped for voluntarily. It scares me. 3 months is like some mythical beast I have to conquer or I’m back to level one again. I’m hoping to level up and keep all my lives😊
My dh, who stopped because I stopped, brought back some leftover wine from work. I can’t drink wine, so all good. If it had been vodka I would have struggled. He had a glass or so last night. He’s just out of bed and in the shower now. If he hadn’t had a drink he would have been up at least a couple of hours ago. I’m hoping he’s not feeling remorseful and looking for someone other than himself to blame😔I’m not annoyed with him for having a drink. Not even disappointed. I’m just hoping it isn’t going to effect the equilibrium of this precarious peacefulness I’m working hard to maintain!
stay cool

Thanks for the good wishes all. I'm being compassionate and kind to myself. I've not been focusing on me. I've been stressed and annoyed with DH and I pressed the fuck it button. Onwards and upwards. @JesusSufferingFuck22 I hope all is ok at home and your DH is ok with his choice

@SavBbunny good on you for going back to Spanxville. I for one will be cheering you on and giving you a virtual handhold although you won't need it. Bastards the lot of them (not sure who I'm referring to just wanted to say it)

@Kindtomyself
Ah my favourite insult, bastards!
When I was forced to take my sham redundancy at the beginning of the year my friend put a glassdoor review calling my bosses bastards! Very outing. She did take it down but it was super funny. I think the word tosser was used too😁
I am being very brave going to this do as my nemesis (who ousted me) is going to be there. My friend is on booze watch!

Love the glassdoor review @SavBbunny people can be absolutely p**s in the world of work. Good for you going to this work do!

Hope everyone is well and has plans to keep cool

@JesusSufferingFuck22 how do you feel this morning?

I think you have redefined
‘levelling up’ 👍

Hi @AlloftheTime and everyone else.

23 here at the moment but house isn't too warm currently which is good. The hot weather is not good for my diet, alcohol has been replaced with crisps / dips, coleslaw, more crisps and dip, olives and etc etc.

I just had a question if that's ok. So I seem to have turned into a right grumpy so and so some evenings. I'm not actually bothered about having a drink but I feel it's more boredom in the evening and I'm just finding it's easier to go upstairs to bed which feels a bit naff at the weekend. Any ideas?

@Crayonpenny evenings are certainly different without booze. I tend to go to bed a lot earlier and make the most of good quality sleep! Sometimes I’ll stay up with DP for a chat and a few AF beers or a bath. Sometimes I see friends or run/swim/yoga etc. Honestly I love my AF evenings now but I too have grumpy evenings too and on those evenings I take myself off to bed early!!! Do you have any hobbies? Why do you think you’re grumpy in the evening? Is it tiredness/overwhelm (that’s it for me) or is it something else?

@Crayonpenny
Do you like a good book? I am an avid reader. My first couple of months I read 3 books a week. Ditto sewing. I now watch a mixture of Vera, midsommer etc. I have been trying to catch up on sleep. If you have a garden get planting (seeds are cheap in Aldi) or 'angry weeding'. When I was a drinker I didn't do anything after 9pm, too boozed up.

Morning all, I am hiding from the heat!

@Crayonpenny

Going to bed early is totally reasonable when grumpy and tired! Nothing wrong with some sleep and a reset. But if it feels rubbish maybe something like a bath before bed, a podcast to listen to in bed, or an absorbing book before bed? With a nice herbal tea or incense/candles if you like that sort of thing? Or some rain sounds?

Sometimes if I feel a bit glum I do a bit of journaling, or something nerdy like meal planning or holidy or savings planning. Or move the furniture around for fun, do a small task I'm avoiding, or make a pinterest board!

Or there is always the classic trashy film night option.

Hi @SavBbunny ! Yes angry weeding also a great option 😂 sitting with my bare feet in the grass also is quite nice and relaxing (might be a bit lazier than some here!)

I am on day 17, feeling confident this time around.

Hi,

Sorry for the late reply, my boss is on A/L this week and it's been a bit relentless this morning.

I'm pretty happy with the catching up on sleep (I love my sleep!), I guess I'm conscious that it would be nice to actually stay up in the evening and be a bit more social! I think being grumpy is certainly linked to being overwhelmed / frustrated, perhaps how I've ended up in the situation but then I can categorically say I'm a lot better for it and so are my family.

So hobbies wise, I love reading and ditto for murder mysteries - that's inspired me for later on! - right up my street @SavBbunny !) and I also have a classic car that I really want to get back into (I say back into, not really got a clue half the time about a 1960's VW but it's time to start)! I'm a proper list / planning person as well so I'm going to take a look at that too, thank you!! 😊

@Crayonpenny I do get the grumpy evenings too and am wondering if it's because I haven't found a way to decompress between work ending and diving into family responsibilities. Am wondering about some kind of transition routine. Maybe that would also help you?

@Stupidlydupidly I certainly think that would be useful. It just feels all very back to back at times. I'm literally having a quick break now. The kids have come home from swimming lessons and so it all rolls together. Not helped by the fact I'm greeted with a comment re 'relaxing in the sun, that's more sun than I've had today'. I'm hardly attempting to re-create a scene from baywatch in my garden.

@AlloftheTime Everything is cool here. Dh is keeping it together. I’ve accused him of poking the wasps nest (me) for some fun. He laughed it off but has stopped for now.
We’re still in a transition period of sobriety I suppose. I’m not sure if he’s going to be ok with losing his drinking buddy long term. I’m trying to be ok with that and not using as an excuse to start drinking again. We’ve been together for about 30 years. Our whole relationship has revolved around imbibing in various things over the years and latterly, solely alcohol.

thanks @Kindtomyself

Morning all.
I hope you all managed to sleep.
Up for a busy day of Internet meetings.
Too hot to think about the drink.
For once I think I reached my water quota. I did try Marks rhubarb and strawberry tonic. Quite nice.

Morning,

Ridiculously hot in the night, I think I got about 5 hours sleep so cafetière coffee is in flight. Heat not good for small people, very restless - clearly they remember nothing now when I'm walking round like something from a cheap zombie flick.

@SavBbunny That drink sounds nice. I do find M&S have really nice drinks. I always think blimey that's steep for a drink which is frankly ridiculous when comparing that with bottles of wine etc!

Good morning everyone!

Day 80 today and stopping to take stock. Still waiting for the good sleep, but two people in the last week have expressed genuine surprise that I am old enough to have a bus pass, so I guess I must be looking better. I've been taking selfies every few days, so I will look at them later and see if it's true.

The one fly in my ointment is DH, who still doesn't get it. Does his disappointed face every time I order an AF drink and has urged me to have 'a proper drink' to combat the heat Mind you, I have been dairy free for two and a half years, which has basically fixed my IBS, but I asked him for an ice lolly on Sunday and he came back with a Magnum!

The really good news is that I have no desire to drink, no desire at all. I don't know why, but for now I am just going with the flow.

Stay cool and hydrated everyone!

@Crayonpenny I had £50 a week wine habit!
I now spend it on counselling. I also had a laser for my red veins.
We had a few years of very tough times as I couldn't work due to carering. Now well paid so I shop at Marks for treats. I don't do big nights out but eat out for work. It is hard to appreciate non alcohol drinks cost so much however something like non alcohol gin is made normally then has an extraction process added. Costly to make but I suspect they sell the pure alcohol for medical use.
I don't have the need to have something everyday but 'ah f**k its Friday' needs a treat.

@SavBbunny wow you must have saved so much money! According to my app I’ve saved nearly £4000😱😱😱 Though I’m sure I’ve spent most of it on nice treats for myself and the family😂 Oops!

@Crayonpenny i can’t remember how long ago you’ve quit but definitely the first few months were about sleep and recovery for me. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to be fun or whatever. Nothing wrong with feeling grumpy and needing sleep!

@DeedIDo sorry your H isn’t more supportive. It’s interesting how some people respond to our choice to stop drinking… what’s it got to do with them anyway?!? Sometimes I think people feel threatened by other people’s choices, be it money/career/SAHM, but also diet/booze choices…

Well done on 80 days @DeedIDo ! Sorry your H is being a prat. I’m afraid I’d have gone on the offensive by now in your shoes, so you’re obviously a much nicer person than me!

Just finished reading “Drink? The new science of alcohol and your health” by Prof David Nutt. About 80% of it is very good. I found it really interesting in terms of the different risk comparisons of drinking versus other activities eg smoking or being overweight. He used to advise the government but the government didn’t like his advice! The parallels with tobacco are fascinating, and it’s quite shocking how government really doesn’t want to address the nation’s alcohol issues.

On the other hand, he has a part share in a wine bar, and thinks that people should find the level of drinking that works for them (acknowledging that for some people that may be zero). But he has 10 (10!) pages of “sensible drink rules you might want to try”. Good grief! How exhausting would that be?! I didn’t read them - I’m done with that. (4 months tomorrow)

Good luck with your industry “do” this week @SavBbunny . I hope you walk in there with your head held high. Just think about how far you’ve come this year - left your toxic workplace, got a new job, and become sober. Pretty awesome

Afternoon everyone,

We are now at 38' here. Sounds like the primary school one of my children attends has the right idea - ice creams and a movie!

@SavBbunny It's crazy isn't it how much it can add up to! I think when you look at it per bottle I certainly didn't think it was too bad on a singular level but then when you're looking at multiples and what this could get you on equivalent terms it's a bit of an eye opener. It's interesting the point about AF drink costs, hopefully companies will find a way to bring the cost down for us a bit as AF gin costing 75% of non AF gin feels steep but I guess it's going to be like that until perhaps other methods are explored.

@BunniesBunniesBunnies I was less grumpy last night (well until I couldn't sleep due to the heat!). It's been 14 days so a drop in the ocean so far and I certainly feel like I'm still catching up on lost, well disrupted / not proper, sleep. I do feel my sleep seems a bit more solid too, not waking up at 3am similar thirsty, needing the toilet and then lying there wanting to go back to sleep but I'm too wired to get anywhere near some decent shut eye.

80 days is ace @DeedIDo !

@Onewildandpreciouslife I am going to have a look at that book and it sounds interesting. It's interesting your reference to tobacco as well. I can remember being 15 and it being 'cool' to smoke and then you think now, cigarettes etc are behind closed doors and I think the packets carry some quite gruesome - and real - pictures and statement but then it's just onwards as normal for drink, age limit still the same, health warnings aren't exactly super explicit on bottles etc. Makes you think about the tax made, or perhaps I'm being cynical.

Levelling up. 3 months af today. I’m going to start counting in months now I think.
Unfortunate timing for the big black dog to rear it’s ugly head. I’m going through the motions/fake it till you make it type thing. Been here plenty of times before. It’s easier dealing with depression without alcohol. That helps me stay away from it.
I have a few possible situations when I’ll be tempted to drink. Dh might have to stay away overnight. I’m already thinking I could have some and hide it. Though that’s a slippery slope and I’m not going there. It’s still in my head though teasing me. The other ones are more manageable.
Hope you are all doing well and managed to remain slightly cool. It feels nice to have the curtains and windows open today……..apart from the bloody flies!
You are all amazing. You’ve no idea how much this page helps. It’s like free therapy😊