The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life!

[Fortheloveofgodwhy]

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling

So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile

T@Champoopapihank you to for hosting the last thread 💜

And here’s to the next 40 pages grin

@Blackberryblossom night night. Thank you!

Morning all
@Mwnci123 hope you feel better today @Blackberryblossom did you manage to sleep?
@SavBbunny all the best at work today
@ChampooPapi how are you?
Looks like it has the makings of a lovely day out there so I’m about to get up and get cracking!
funny that last year a lovely day would have to include something chilling for later….
I still think how good it is to wake up with a clear head.

Wondering whether it was even that bad for me at the level I was drinking (often drunkish in late afternoon/ evening but not leathered)

@Mwnci123 I think deep down you know this level of drinking will be hurting you. How are you today?

DH was away last week, staying with a relative.

He came home with a bottle of red which he opened. I really wanted a glass for about an hour, but I thought of this thread and the feeling passed.

Day 16. This is now the longest I have gone without a drink for about 25 years.

Hope the weather is good wherever you are and that you have a lovely Monday.

@LydiaLurk well done not sharing your husband's wine. I am glad I didn't drink last night. Feeling ok today and going to aim for a productive day that will give me a bit of a natural buzz hopefully.

Hi All,
I was just wondering if I could join this thread please? I’ve indulged far too much this weekend and I just need to knock things on the head, I find it’s a vicious circle with anxiety etc. Your stories have really encouraged me that this is possible!

@Crayonpenny welcome! Join us it’s definitely possible 👍

@AlloftheTime that is appreciated thank you! It's time for things to change!

Hi @Crayonpenny , I'm just starting out too. Day 15 and shortly before that a ten day stretch. My friend has done a year and said it gets a lot easier and you feel really good for it after a little while!

Hi @Mwnci123. How have you found your 15 day so far and also congratulations as that's really good going both that and the previous 10 days! The long term benefits are what I'm aiming for certainly, I think I've ended up in a place where having a drink is a habit and it shouldn't be really.

Hi @Crayonpenny @Mwnci123 Welcome

I'm a couple of days away from being 8 weeks af. This is my new normal. I'm still getting comfortable with it.
Texted my df yesterday. (We both hate phone calls.) It kind of came up in conversation and I told him I'd stopped drinking. He gave me words of encouragement.

He said
"It's Thirteen years since I have had a drink and the best thing is, you know whatever you decide no longer has any alcohol influence. It's all you. xx

That's good if (my dh name) refrains for a while it will make it easier. But ultimately it's your own determination and you have plenty of that xx"

We used to drink together. He was/is a functioning alcoholic like me. I'm looking forward to our next get together where we can be sober together

Hi @JesusSufferingFuck22. Wow, you're doing incredible! It's interesting you say it's your new normal, I think it has to become mine really and this is the lifestyle I need to maintain well abstaining and improving my health.

I like the encouragement from your df!

I know the feeling re home, we've found ourselves kind of self-encouraging each other, 'oh one glass won't hurt it's a Friday etc' but it invariably never is just the one glass.

I've got quite a busy week ahead with a school sports day, football match etc and I'm determined to stay af for all of this!

Thank you for the welcomes so far, I already feel at home which is appreciated.

Hello all! After a long time lurking on Mumsnet I have finally decided to post and am very happy to find this thread and join you all as someone who has had MAJOR alcohol problems in the past.

I am now 21 months abstinent and life has improved considerably now I’m alcohol free (it couldn’t have got much worse as it was absolutely disastrous).

A group like this can only help me further in keeping my abstinence going - so thanks for letting me in!

@Petitecoccinelle hi there - impressive period of AF you’ve done. Glad you found us it’s good to have VaNs (veterans & newbies) although you could count as both!

Thank you! Abstinence is essential for me - I cannot take one sip of alcohol as I have zero control over it and it’s guaranteed to end in disaster based on my past history. I would consider myself a newbie definitely!

Unfortunately it took true tragedy for me to finally sort myself out - and I must say it’s largely down to regular capillary tests - knowing I can’t get away with a drink is very motivating. I can’t hide or sneak drinks as I did before, or have ‘just one’ to relax me.

My medication also helps keep me calm but mostly the deep, deep shame of the person I became is the biggest motivation, and above all my children. They deserve the best life and that includes a sober mum who is always present.

Apologies - now I started to write I feel like I have a lot to get off my chest, but it is nice to connect with people in the same boat who understand the struggle!

Hard! But easier today than yesterday. Definitely a habit for me too.

@Petitecoccinelle sounds like you have had a tough journey and some difficult times. You don’t need to apologise for opening up here. Say as much or as little as you’re comfortable with. No judgement 👍

Hi everyone , just checking in on day 49. I've had an arse of a day but just sitting down now and thinking I am actually free. I don't have to think about alcohol anymore and it just makes me feel so much free-er and unburdened. I'm going strong and it's still daunting the forever thing but if we can manage one day at a time then that's all we can do and hope.it keeps going.
Welcome to all the new comers and vets lol everyone is doing brilliant.

Hello! Thanks for the message. I realise I sound very dramatic - actually life is quite normal now and mostly very, very good. I have learned the hardest way from my mistakes and so all I can do now is focus on keeping calm, peaceful and being a good mum.

I live in a beautiful country (not UK), have a husband who stands by me, I proved my sobriety for a long time so can drive again and have a good job. I have really learned to practice gratitude and enjoy life!

Most importantly I have two beautiful girls who are doing great so can’t complain.

When I was in UK I loved AA - it was great to meet like minded people who really understand alcoholism and have shared experiences. Now I live away in non- English speaking country it is not an easy option for me so great to meet others online.

Evening all. Day 15 done and I am feeling a million times better than I did yesterday. Both physically but more important mentally - yesterday I was beset by miserable thoughts about every aspect of my life all crushed together in one day. There has to be a lesson there - but I know all too well that I could get to Friday and forget it completely.

Well done @LydiaLurk for resisting DH wine - you succeeded where I failed so vv well done to you. Had a bit of a craving this eve watching TV drama where all were drinking huge glasses of wine. Had some cheese and onion crisps instead.

Hoping for a good night's sleep ...

Morning All,

I went to bed pretty early last night as I was just shattered however I spent the night probably waking up every two hours boiling hot. It probably didn't help I had had a bath and it's 21c here but should I expect this? I appreciate it's not the same for everyone.

That said, it was motivational to log on this morning and see how long people have been on their journeys, I know it's not going to be easy but the level of perseverance is inspiring to me.

@Petitecoccinelle - your reference to a sober mum who is present really resonates with me. For too long I've been physically present but not fully present in person e.g those early mornings after the night before.

E@Crayonpenny welcome. I am nearly 6 months af.
I was a Friday to Sunday drinker plus Wednesday and works events. Possibly up to 5 bottles. I could drink most people under the table. Really embarrassing incidents had become the norm. My family were always on my case. I have boozy friends. Some have slunk away now I am not the entertainment or so drunk I pay for all the drinks!
I look better and I am proud of me. Never thought i could go this long. Wine was my release. I now read. Two books a week.
Welcome all newbies.

Hi @SavBbunny - nearly 6 months is awesome!

Embracing incidents have featured in my life for far too long, the amount of times I was asked if I was 'tired' well yes that and then some. It's horrible looking back at some of the things but in some ways doing so brings me to a reality check.

I'm looking forward to some new / old hobbies. I used to read a lot but it dwindled away with wine.

Hello! I’m in the garden with an AF beer before I start the dinner prep. Someone hacked my Spotify account earlier today and I had to smile when I realised I had autopiloted my way to the kitchen and had opened a cupboard, then realised I wasn’t going to react with alcohol, crisps or chocolate and was instead going to do the sensible thing of changing passwords, closing open sessions etc.
@Namechanged12344 thank you, much better now. Everyone who was ill is on the mend and it looks like I haven’t caught it.
welcome to all the new posters!
There was a conversation a few days back about counting days and when/if you switch to weeks or months or years… I am definitely in the days camp. I don’t always update my app every day, but I still regard every single AF day as worthy of a tiny mental celebration. Plus I still like seeing the numbers go up.

@Blackberryblossom sorry you got hacked but well done for reacting sensibly to it!

I count in months now (and get those mixed up sometimes😅) but your post prompted me to look at my app and I’m 800 days today😱😱😱 The change from 8 days or even 80 days is unbelievable, it’s like I’m a different person. Or as I prefer to say - I am myself again, but even better than before😂

@SavBbunny 6 months is ace! So many things clicked into place for me around the 6 month mark and it was really starting to feel more natural and normal. I like this new normal a lot!

I’ve had a tough couple of weeks of feeling overwhelmed and teary but today and yesterday I’ve been feeling so much better again. It really makes me realise, it is okay and normal to struggle sometimes. The key is accept that that’s okay, and to keep doing the things you know work for you (and for me that’s sleep, exercise, fresh air and good food). Then the moment will pass and you’ll start to feel better again.

Hope everyone’s well🙂

Hi All,

Is there an app that is recommended to count your days? I think seeing it count up would be useful to me but I'm not sure where to look really!