The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life!

[Fortheloveofgodwhy]

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling

So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile

T@Champoopapihank you to for hosting the last thread 💜

And here’s to the next 40 pages grin

Welcome @Notquitemanaging 😊

Took a leaf out of @Breathmiller’s book yesterday, had a rare morning off and instead of endless chores went to a spa&brunch with a friend! I needed it so much and feel much calmer now👍

I had my second ever dry birthday yesterday (barring childhood and pregnancy!) Another milestone met. Last year was a planned admission for DC3 so I wasn't dry by choice either.

It was fine, although I'm always such a misery guts on my birthday!! Weather didn't help my mood but its all done now.

Had some Noseco (wasn't a fan to be honest. Will stick to AF beer) and pizza and ice cream in the garden.... With young kids, birthdays tend to be something they can enjoy too.

Huge well done @Crunchymum and congrats😊😊😊 And yeah I’m not a fan of nosecco neither, AF beer (and pizza and ice cream🤩) all the way for me!

Ps there’s a thread in active at the mo about a poster who got wasted on her birthday and made a complete tit of herself… Even if you were a bit grumpy on your birthday at least that wasn’t you😅 (I have been that complete tit in the past and was filled with relief when I read that thread)

Thanks so much for the welcome guys! Felt pretty rough the first week and a half tummy wise but better now. Main issue right now is anxiety - have seen others say similar. Is definitely true that medium / long term alcohol makes anxiety worse but has helped me to overcome it on a weekly basis… lots of feelings of shame at past behaviours and underlying anxieties coming out now… not got a desire to drink mercifully but finding life as a whole - kids, work, house etc really overwhelming

Morning all.
Have had a couple of tough days. Seller pulled out of house deal for the second time Thursday. Ladies lunch yesterday which I survived without wanting to cry.
New job officially starting Monday so need to woman up.
Gordon's af on my list for tonight.

@SavBbunny moving house is stressful! Hope it all works out soon.

@Notquitemanaging what you are going through is entirely normal. It’s hard but hang in there, anxiety for me was worse at first but then got sooo much better. Try to look forwards, not backwards, that will help heaps with the shame.

@SavBbunny sorry to hear about the house but I hope the next buyer won't faff you around as much! It's so so stressful and you are doing amazing!
Happy birthday for yesterday @Crunchymum and I'm glad you had an okish day and the kids had fun you are right it's more about them as we get older! I do still like a bit of the spotlight tho lol I'm trying nozecoo for the first time right now boy it's sweet! But I haven't had champagne or prosecco for so long now it feels new. I do like the AF beers too. You know some of them say 0.5% AF but that's not right ?
@Notquitemanaging everything you just wrote resonates with me and most of us well done for taking these steps though! It will get easier I hope for me too. I'm still thinking about the social event. If I drive one won't hurt etc...argh

Day 52
Just had friends over. They brought a bottle of wine. They didn't know we'd stopped drinking. I thought that would mean dh would definitely be drinking and it would make me feel like I was missing out....even though I can't drink wine.
One friend had a glass of wine, they were driving and dh didn't have any. He also sent the unfinished bottle back with them!
It was a really nice evening.
Also noticed how nice it felt to not have to hide the glass recycling bin from guests or have to (dh) do the walk of shame going to the bottle bank before they arrived

Day 13. Friends over too @JesusSufferingFuck22 and same boat as hadnt mentioned. DH birthday and he had some fizz quite a few beers - not normally a big drinker but his friends brought them and it was his birthday and I like how he is able to drink ie socially and cheerfully but by no means daily or even weekly and after this probably not again for weeks. I didnt find it hard not drinking and was sheepish saying i had stopped but no one was annoying at all, quite the opposite. Didnt love the af wine or fizz i had bought so stuck to diet coke. Am just so so tired and also nervous because getting lfts done (through the GP who has been fab) this week… what other health tests do people recommend for checking damage? Saving up a “what I would have spent on booze fund” to get the red capillaries on my face done - they actually predate boozing but have always hated them so that can be my reward in a couple months if keep this up!

Morning all
@Notquitemanaging I had laser on my red capillaries. Three sessions £65 each. One side better than the other as I had to stop. Quite a good result.

Sorry Chrunch I missed your birthday. I was keeping off MN after the sarky comments on another thread.

I had some dark thoughts around getting smashed after our house seller cancelled our agreement. However she has been so difficult due to her full blown alcoholism. I was warned, but this is a missing piece of our puzzle having rented for so long. We feel 'homeless' as we have been gazumped or had houses been withdrawn on us. This one was our 4th attempt at buying in 15 months. Luckily I couldn't get out of the flat yesterday due to roadworks. The Gordon's AF hit the spot but I get up for a 4am pee, anyone else do that? Is it the quinine in the tonic?

Hi @SavBbunny I'm so sorry about the housing situation but I think you are destined for a better thing! Hang in there! I too would have gone and got something to drown the sorrows but I'm glad you didn't and you are still here! I must try the Gordon's I have a supermarket own brand I picked up but haven't opened. Does it do anything to you lol the AF spirit I mean does it make you feel relaxed? I was reading up on AF products and a few websites mentioned you can never get drunk on them because of the low concentration. I'm still thinking I can drive to this event and have one drink but the problem is(or is it) i have completely gone off the wretched wine it makes me feel ill thinking about it , DH opened white yesterday and was pouring it right in front of me , it was a crisp one condensation on the wine glass but that's when I opened the nosecco (which has probably given me diabetes it's so sugary). Anyway I'm hoping I won't drink at this event but by then I will have been 61 days. Is it worth it?

Glad you had a good night @JesusSufferingFuck22 - these things often turn out so much better than we think they will

Glad you had a good night too @Notquitemanaging - my DH is the same, he can have 2 glasses and stop. No idea how he does that. On your post about anxiety yesterday: it may take time for you to feel the benefits of being AF. 13 days is awesome, but some things take a while to kick in. I have suffered from bad anxiety for years, and had lots of counselling, CBT etc, but none of them made much difference- I had the tools, but found it really hard to use them. At about day 50, I had an appointment to get through that normally would have pushed my anxiety through the roof, but I was fine. I found myself thinking “is this what normal people feel like?”. All we can do is one day at a time.

@SavBbunny I’m so sorry to hear about your house. But well done for not diving through the emergency exit!

I had a hard day yesterday. No real external reason. I think it’s because I’m nearing the end of Sober Spring (a 3 month challenge from the Dry January people), so I’m struggling with the idea that this is forever. And DH was really irritating (or maybe I found him irritating because I was in a bad place). I really wanted the instant release of alcohol, but resisted. Day 92.

@Namechanged12344
The Gordon's is just a nice taste and with ice and lots of lemon it seems to work for me.
I have fallen off the wagon a few times (I say this not to trigger but to acknowledge we all have bad days) and it makes me feel really poorly. Bad stomach, horrible breath and puffy. My body likes a non drinking me. I am 23ibs lighter since giving up the booze. I stick to 1700 calories on my nutricheck and I don't feel hard done by. I have a long way to go both in losing weight and not wanting to drink. I can't see me being evangelical about a sober life but I am much more aware of problem drinkers around me. I have started to avoid them.

Sorry to hear about the housing situation Sav. Agree that it's something that would definitely send me for the wine (most things did to be honest) but I also agree that this means better things are to come. When you do find your home it will be worth all the stress and disappointment.

It's interesting to hear about your weightloss journey. I have many stones to lose (am embarrassed to say just how much) Combination of illness / medication and pure greed my wine is 600 calories a bottle and at my worst I could easily do a bottle per evening and wine led to terrible food choices
I'm not making much progress with the weightloss. I have good periods (sticking to about 1500 cals, eating well and staying away from refined sugar) and then I have a blow out and lose my way and end up feeling deflated and cross with myself. I've lost a stone but been off piste for the past week or so, so have bloated right out. Worryingly it all goes to tummy which I know is a huge diabetes risk.

Dread to think of the mess I'd be in if I was drinking though.

With regards to Noseco.... I found it really bitter and tart. Was surprised as I'd read here how sweet it was. Maybe it's my sugary taste buds? I've been living on cake this week.

Well done to everyone who is socialising and have partners who still drink. My DP and I currently live apart [very long story been together 15 years but living apart for the past year]. He isn't a big drinker but now at least if he drinks he isn't doing it around me (although we have been at social events together where hes had a beer or two and its been fine!)

I have become quite partial to AF beer (I do make sure they are 0.0% as someone mentioned upthread). Have really liked Heineken and San Miguel. Not so keen on Leffe blond. Will sample Peroni today.

Any other recommendations? What about AF cider?

@Crunchymum
I am a very large lady too. At least another 6 stone to loose. I started the af so I could have weight loss surgery. I had also had a drunken episode at an event and was fearful of a photograph being used against me professionally. I was very fat after steriod treatment, booze was my friend. I truly looked like hell in January.
I may not be slim but I eat healthy and I try everyday not to drink. Sometimes I miss it, most of the time I don't.

@Onewildandpreciouslife I totally feel your forever feeling, I'm thinking oh I've done this well and I'm ok I don't have an issue etc but I started reading some things online about moderation and it clearly says if you can have 1 or 2 drinks and not want more then you can probably moderate but I know and I've tried having 1 or 2 and then always looking for more and more. I know deep down I don't have the same circuits in my brain as someone who can moderate like DH. I really really wish I could do the moderation I think that's everyone's fantasy on these boards no?
@SavBbunny well done for the weight loss tho you should be proud ! I go to the gym but half heartedly at times unless a friend pushes me to take a class which is very intense but I'm still eating biscuits at 1030pm or crisps. My sleep arrangements aren't great as we still sleep with our kids. But that's one thing on the list after the builders have gone.
@Crunchymum maybe it's the nosecco I had but I felt it was sweet but I have been on the bitter AF beers so maybe I wasn't used to it! I prefer bitter to sweet! So I have to be careful which AF I buy as I bought a 0.5% one without looking. Anyway on and up.

I keep writing posts, then the page refreshes and I lose it before I can post it! So v quickly, well done all for resisting temptation in various ways. I am on day 15 now and very pleased I did this as I feel so much better already.

Well done @LydiaLurk.

Am sorry to say I messed up yesterday. Very annoyed with myself and not worth it at all. Am not going to let it happen again - I don't know if I want to give up drinking completely but I don't want to go back to where I was. So I'm going to call it day 14 here.

@eileenfh, do not beat yourself up. I very nearly went to the shop last night to buy wine but managed not to. It was hard. I also had some orange juice and contemplated putting a shot of gin in it, but didn't.

Definitely don't put yourself back to day 1, I think that would be soul destroying. 14 days AF out of 15 is really good.

Sorry I keep forgetting I have a different name for this thread!

Don't be too annoyed with yourself @EileenFH you have done well and it's a blip as they say!

Thanks @LydiaLurk & @Namechanged12344 . The worst thing is that it makes me feel so out of sorts the next day - not just the headache but also miserable and down. Still am going to pick myself up, get an early night and move on

I have stopped drinking- early days- and I am hating it right now. Feel that I would be better tonight with a drink- more cheerful and playful with the children, less troubled with intrusive thoughts and angst. Wondering whether it was even that bad for me at the level I was drinking (often drunkish in late afternoon/ evening but not leathered).
I have monster PMS so just hoping to feel better and see the point a bit more soon.
Sorry. Just came her to vent!

Just a quick post as everyone here is poorly and I need to get an early night to cope with tomorrow…

Thinking of everyone who is struggling. @EileenFH it’s a blip. They happen and don’t detract from what you’ve achieved so far. When/if you want to, have a look at why you made a different choice and see if you can learn from it.
@Mwnci123 - the early days are so hard, and I found weekends even harder. Add PMS in too - no wonder you’re struggling a bit hope you feel better in the morning.

@SavBbunny - so sorry about the house. Good luck with the new job tomorrow!

Congrats everyone for keeping on. If I try to namecheck anyone else I’ll get it wrong so going to change my hrt patch and get an early night.