Hangxiety

[ERN79]

Hey all.

I'm posting this basically to keep myself accountable.

I'm 2 days post a heavy night of drinking & am crippled by feelings of anxiety, shame & guilt.
I feel like I've let people down. And I feel like a rubbish Mum to my kids, because due to my drinking & then the hangxiety we've had a very quiet weekend. I didn't want to do anything because I feel so anxious.

I'm not a regular drinker but when I do I binge.
I'm sick of feeling so awful in the days after & I want to change.
I'm worried about people's thoughts on my drinking or not drinking & how to get over this.
But this can't go on as it is. It's ridiculous.

So I'm leaving this here to be able to come back to when I start to think about drinking!

Feel free to join me/comment.

[quote Lemonweightloss]@ERN79, hope you're feeling better today ?
I hadn't drank all week til last night. I felt great all week, got loads done and lost weight.
I used to feel terribly anxious and guilty the next day but I've trained myself not to. I enjoyed the wine, I had a lovely evening and I can't turn back time, so no point.
I won't drink now to next Saturday, at the earliest.[/quote]
Morning.
I'm OK, still a little anxious. But trying to reassure myself that I'm being ridiculous.
I had a similar week, started a new health kick & was doing well.
Then Friday... 🍾🤦‍♀️
But like you say, it's done & worrying won't help!. Thanks x

@ERN79 you are asking the right question: why. Now ask it more specifically, but NOT in a nasty way: why DID you drink last night?

[quote brightspice]@ERN79 you are asking the right question: why. Now ask it more specifically, but NOT in a nasty way: why DID you drink last night?[/quote]

Because at the time I enjoy it.
I have had times when I've not drunk but others have & it does feel different.
I suppose I feel like I can let my hair down when I've had a drink. 🤷🏼‍♀️
I never used to get like this, it's been in maybe the last 5 years or so.
Realistically I know I don't need to feel anxious because I know I've done nothing wrong. But it's hard teaching your mind that isn't it.
And you know what, if someone has an opinion that's their call. The people in my life who are real friends or genuine people will still be my friends. So I need to stop wasting time worrying about people who shouldn't really matter!

Getting my big girl pants on & just cracking on today!

@ERN79 I'd be curious about your comment that 'I have had times when I've not drunk but others have & it does feel different.'

In what positive ways was it different?

I know I used to tell myself it would be different, meaning it probably wouldn't be as much fun not drinking (and other people were quick to tell me that too!) but when I started looking for the upside - like actually writing out 25 ways it was better to have not drunk the night before - I started to look for that evidence ahead of time
rather than telling myself I was basically going to just have to grin and bear it.

Because as I read this morning "we are always creating what we believe most".

So the more time you spend acting as though you're in the reality where you have achieved your goals around drinking, the better.

Happy Monday! x

I'm finding this thread extremely therapeutic. Thank you x

This exact feeling is why I don't really drink! I'm not T total but I drink nothing at home and only ever drink if at dinner where I may have one cocktail or a glass of wine. I used to only drink to get drunk so would always take it too far and wake up in despair. I hate when people say drunk minds speak a sober heart because nooope! The absolute bollocks I've come out with our done when drunk is definitely not coming from a sober heart. In the end it was easy to stop because I just hate the feeling so much and one night drunk would result in a week of anxiety. I will very occasionally have one but rather than getting tempted for a second I get anxious in advance of the drunk ness and it's easy to avoid. Some of us just aren't good drunks!

Mum guilt - drinking!

I have a 4.5 month old daughter and my other half works in the armed forces and works away Monday - Friday. I raise and care for my daughter alone throughout the week. By the weekend, I like to enjoy a few glasses of wine. My other half likes to make up for lost time so takes over most of the parental responsibilities. We also visit his family a lot at the weekends. I sometimes feel like a spare part and that I don’t get a look in as my other half and his family want to spend time with her. I try to embrace this as I think it’s important for her to spend time with other people than me.

I like to have a few glasses of wine as it helps me to de-stress and I look forward to it after an intense week of solo parenting my daughter. No matter how many I have, I feel guilty. My other half’s parents are quite heavy drinkers and smokers so I often smoke too (not around my daughter).

I literally feel like the worst person in the world. I drink responsibly so don’t get black out drunk. I still make sure my child is fed, changed and put to bed and my other half takes the lead with the parental responsibilities.

I feel quite anxious today and as if drinking and having a fag is the worst thing in the world. I probably had one too many last night…

It’s my own way of letting my hair down after and intense week of parenting without my other half.

Am I a shit person for looking forward to wine and a fag on a weekend? I feel like an awful person.

You're not bad @GossipGal . You're having a completely normal reaction, both in terms of the overwhelming responsibility you have and the temporary chemical withdrawal from the fags and booze. Don't be too hard on yourself. X

You're not bad @