Really scared it’s too late

[Hawaiiinthemorning]

I’m drink far too much, bottle and a half about 5 days a week. I’m overweight, feel knackered, high blood pressure and cholesterol plus I’ve started getting psoriasis.
I’m scared I’ve damaged my liver, I had a scan summer 2020 and it shown fatty liver.
My diet is appalling too and I’m terrified I’ll die and my daughter will grow up without me.
I really need to sort myself out but the longest I go with out wine is about 4 days.

Going through an alcoholic Parent as we speak and if he was able to understand and accept his issues, the best bit of advice I would give him is to get some help. Even starting by speaking to oragnisations like AA are positives and will always give insight into things.

The fact you've recognised you're drinking a lot and want to stop is a big positive.

Come join us.

Day 1 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/4436070-day-1

It is not too late. Speak with your GP and let them know you want to stop drinking. If you think you might need some medication to help with the detox. Or stop drinking and have a plan. Take supplements. Start eating healthy. You can fix cholesteral and high BP with a plants based whole foods diet. Google forks over knives, dr macdougal, how not to diet.

@Mamabear12

It is not too late. Speak with your GP and let them know you want to stop drinking. If you think you might need some medication to help with the detox. Or stop drinking and have a plan. Take supplements. Start eating healthy. You can fix cholesteral and high BP with a plants based whole foods diet. Google forks over knives, dr macdougal, how not to diet.

What supplements? Frightened my liver is beyond repair.

It's not too late IF you do it now. Your liver is amazing at regenerating itself. It takes time for your liver to cleanse & regenerate itself, but it will IF you start now!

How old is your DD? How old are you?

What do you both enjoy doing?

Are you single? (As you didn't mention a partner)

I’m 43, my dd is 6 and yes single.
I have terrible anxiety which obviously drinking doesn’t help.

My partner is on anxiety meds which has helped her massively so could always look into medication for that if it helps. Aside from that, a spreviosuly mentioned the liver can heal tremendously well (especially if you're still at fatty liver).

Your liver can heal. Start a healthy diet. Look up fit recovery on youtube. He talks about LOADS of supplements and what they do. You do not need to take them all, just what you feel you need. However, first get check out by the GP if you can, take a blood test to check your liver and kidney function. I have read numerous success stories on forksoverknives website of people reversing heart disease, repairing liver, reversing diabetes and kidney disease on the whole foods plant based diet.

I have read in other forums of people who were so bad off they ended up in hospital with swollen legs, kidney and liver damage and they managed to repair themselves with diet and supplements (with guidance from a doctor). I have read other stories too of people far worse then you on this forum. They recovered. A lot have mentioned that its best to seek help though, but these drinkers were all day drinkers. If you just drink at night, maybe you can do it on your own. For me, what helps is having a plan, taking supplements, going to the gym, looking at my diet, reading books and research.

You can do it!!! Check out the resources I mentioned. It is not too late. And of course, any questions please ask. It helps having support of others.

Thank you, it is so daunting. Although they are times I hate this I still enjoy drinking and the thought of being completely sober is scary

Also, think of anything and everything that makes you feel good. Start making a plan to do them. For me this is gym, making fresh veggie juices with my juicer, relaxing bath, watching a good movie, cozy in bed with my dog and laptop or book. Taking walks with my children or dog. The first few days will be rough. I was not a huge drinker and I still felt anxiety the first two days. I am only on day 4. I did go a month in the summer. Early days feel such snail pace. But as time passes it goes by quicker. A lot of people who recover seem to thrive on healthy diet and exercise....so make the changes....become addicted to exercise and healthy living instead. You will feel much better and live much longer for it. Buy the book how not to die on amazon.....do it right now! It was quite eye opening for me. Esp the beginning when the author writes about how his Grandma was sent home at 60 to die of heart disease because doctors said they could do no more. She ended up changing her diet and making a full recovery....living until 91!!

I'm in same boat op..trying to keep busy at the normal wine time helps me..

Join soberistas.com it will change your life! You can do this x

Hi @Hawaiiinthemorning it is hard and fear of the damage you've caused is horrible.
Maybe try looking at what underlies your problem. Through a therapist or group or book. Or all 3. For me, understanding why helps

Also, I met a man while on holiday with my family (his family was friends with my husbands brother's family who we were on holiday with), anyway he was the only one not drinking (I stopped day 2 of the holiday when I missed my monthly took a test and found out I was pregnant). Anyway, so the man said he had a bottle of wine a night for years and he always had his doctor check is bloods and liver. He promised himself once he saw any problems with liver he would stop. So he had problems eventually show up on his blood work. He stopped drinking and never went back. He said when he first stopped he ended up drinking loads of coffee all day. I guess because of the cravings. Then eventually he was able to stop the coffee. His liver is back to normal and he has not had a drink in years....even though his wife still drinks.

You can do this. It is not too late.

@Hawaiiinthemorning - this is great that you have recognised you have an issue and are tackling it head on. I say this not to scare anyone or give anyone an excuse to drink more, but 100% of people who drink to excess will have a degree of fatty liver. Fatty liver is completely 'fixable' with abstinence/cutting down to 'safe' limits and dietary changes (if you are overweight). The NHS website says 2 weeks of not drinking will reverse a fatty liver (www.nhs.uk/conditions/alcohol-related-liver-disease-arld/) however in scientific journals, I have read it takes between a month and a year depending on how bad it is and your overall health. A word of warning - losing too much weight too quickly can make a fatty liver worse so aim for a sensible weight loss/dietary changes.

Drinking too much also changes your brain and its chemicals. Alcohol gives an artificial hit of dopamine, which your brain remembers, hence you go on to want more and more and feel you cannot relax/enjoy yourself without alcohol. But it is the alcohol which set up this dependency in the first place. The longer you are alcohol free, the more these associations will decrease and you will find your brain does not crave alcohol as much/at all - although a person's subconscious mind might crave alcohol, believing it to be a good thing. This is why even one drink is detrimental when you are trying to change your relationship with alcohol - just one drink will keep the (maladaptive) pleasure-reward system in your brain going and keep your brain wanting alcohol.

Before anyone thinks I am being evangelical about not drinking, I need to own up and say I have a terrible problem with alcohol and binge drinking. At my worst, I got through 40 (yes, forty) bottles of spirits in two months drinking alone/in secret PLUS 'normal' wine drinking in front of others most Thursdays - Sundays. I've been found sleeping in hedges, drunk at work and nearly sacked, lost my phone, purse, keys etc, fell over and got a black eye.......only thing I've not done is drive drunk (although probably have driven the next day under the influence). In my non-drinking life, I have a successful career (in health care ironically), lovely home and family, am very well travelled, have great friends etc. But I still ended up nearly losing it all - I still might if I don't sort myself out this time - it really is my last chance.

I've had many day 1s and today is only day 9 for me. Day 10 is when I usually cave and go on a bender but I am doing everything in my power to prevent that this time. I am doing the This Naked Mind Alcohol experiment (learn.thisnakedmind.com/the-alcohol-experiment-registration), listening to the audio book, posting on the support forum, attending a local sober support group, talking daily with my addictions nurse, being honest and open with friends and family and generally keeping myself occupied doing other things. I feel different this time and I really think this time I can do it.

So that's my story - alcohol is a drug - it is meant to get people addicted and trapped for their whole life, that's how they make money. Anyone can get addicted - there's no such thing as an 'addictive personality' or something that makes 'real alcoholic' different to other people. So please take heed of my story as problem drinking only gets worse without action. Good luck and keep posting. Maybe even join us over of the dry January thread for accountability.

@Mamabear12

Also, I met a man while on holiday with my family (his family was friends with my husbands brother's family who we were on holiday with), anyway he was the only one not drinking (I stopped day 2 of the holiday when I missed my monthly took a test and found out I was pregnant). Anyway, so the man said he had a bottle of wine a night for years and he always had his doctor check is bloods and liver. He promised himself once he saw any problems with liver he would stop. So he had problems eventually show up on his blood work. He stopped drinking and never went back. He said when he first stopped he ended up drinking loads of coffee all day. I guess because of the cravings. Then eventually he was able to stop the coffee. His liver is back to normal and he has not had a drink in years....even though his wife still drinks.

You can do this. It is not too late.

Interestingly, coffee may be good for liver repair! This is great news for me as I love my coffee.

britishlivertrust.org.uk/information-and-support/living-with-a-liver-condition/diet-and-liver-disease/coffee-and-the-liver/

@Hawaiiinthemorning you say you still enjoy drinking and the thought of being sober is scary.

What if you were wrong about it being scary? How is this thought stopping you from getting what you want?

Most people don’t go after what they truly want because of what they think they will have to give up. And nowhere is this more stark than with drinking.

You want to stop drinking so much, but still want to have fun. You want to stop drinking so much, but still want to feel like one of the group. You want to stop drinking so much, but don’t want to feel bored.

What you have told yourself is that: Not drinking = not having fun. Not drinking = feeling deprived. Not drinking = suffering.

BUT what if you could drink less and have MORE fun? What if you could drink less and not feel the least bit deprived? What if you could drink less and not suffer at all?

It’s OK if you don’t believe me on this yet. But what if this were true for you. What then?

[quote brightspice]@Hawaiiinthemorning you say you still enjoy drinking and the thought of being sober is scary.

What if you were wrong about it being scary? How is this thought stopping you from getting what you want?

Most people don’t go after what they truly want because of what they think they will have to give up. And nowhere is this more stark than with drinking.

You want to stop drinking so much, but still want to have fun. You want to stop drinking so much, but still want to feel like one of the group. You want to stop drinking so much, but don’t want to feel bored.

What you have told yourself is that: Not drinking = not having fun. Not drinking = feeling deprived. Not drinking = suffering.

BUT what if you could drink less and have MORE fun? What if you could drink less and not feel the least bit deprived? What if you could drink less and not suffer at all?

It’s OK if you don’t believe me on this yet. But what if this were true for you. What then?[/quote]
Wow, I do believe all them things.

[quote Mybestyear]@Hawaiiinthemorning - this is great that you have recognised you have an issue and are tackling it head on. I say this not to scare anyone or give anyone an excuse to drink more, but 100% of people who drink to excess will have a degree of fatty liver. Fatty liver is completely 'fixable' with abstinence/cutting down to 'safe' limits and dietary changes (if you are overweight). The NHS website says 2 weeks of not drinking will reverse a fatty liver (www.nhs.uk/conditions/alcohol-related-liver-disease-arld/) however in scientific journals, I have read it takes between a month and a year depending on how bad it is and your overall health. A word of warning - losing too much weight too quickly can make a fatty liver worse so aim for a sensible weight loss/dietary changes.

Drinking too much also changes your brain and its chemicals. Alcohol gives an artificial hit of dopamine, which your brain remembers, hence you go on to want more and more and feel you cannot relax/enjoy yourself without alcohol. But it is the alcohol which set up this dependency in the first place. The longer you are alcohol free, the more these associations will decrease and you will find your brain does not crave alcohol as much/at all - although a person's subconscious mind might crave alcohol, believing it to be a good thing. This is why even one drink is detrimental when you are trying to change your relationship with alcohol - just one drink will keep the (maladaptive) pleasure-reward system in your brain going and keep your brain wanting alcohol.

Before anyone thinks I am being evangelical about not drinking, I need to own up and say I have a terrible problem with alcohol and binge drinking. At my worst, I got through 40 (yes, forty) bottles of spirits in two months drinking alone/in secret PLUS 'normal' wine drinking in front of others most Thursdays - Sundays. I've been found sleeping in hedges, drunk at work and nearly sacked, lost my phone, purse, keys etc, fell over and got a black eye.......only thing I've not done is drive drunk (although probably have driven the next day under the influence). In my non-drinking life, I have a successful career (in health care ironically), lovely home and family, am very well travelled, have great friends etc. But I still ended up nearly losing it all - I still might if I don't sort myself out this time - it really is my last chance.

I've had many day 1s and today is only day 9 for me. Day 10 is when I usually cave and go on a bender but I am doing everything in my power to prevent that this time. I am doing the This Naked Mind Alcohol experiment (learn.thisnakedmind.com/the-alcohol-experiment-registration), listening to the audio book, posting on the support forum, attending a local sober support group, talking daily with my addictions nurse, being honest and open with friends and family and generally keeping myself occupied doing other things. I feel different this time and I really think this time I can do it.

So that's my story - alcohol is a drug - it is meant to get people addicted and trapped for their whole life, that's how they make money. Anyone can get addicted - there's no such thing as an 'addictive personality' or something that makes 'real alcoholic' different to other people. So please take heed of my story as problem drinking only gets worse without action. Good luck and keep posting. Maybe even join us over of the dry January thread for accountability.[/quote]
Really hope you don’t cave. So scary how many of us follow the exact same pattern.

@Hawaiiinthemorning so if you do believe that you could drink less and have MORE fun, drink less and not feel the least bit deprived, drink less and not suffer at all, what's blocking you from taking action?

Your liver absolutely will recover if you stop drinking.
You will feel better if you don't drink, even if it takes a few rough days to get to this point.
You will feel much less anxious without alcohol in your life.

See your GP and ask for help with both the drinking and your anxiety. Don't be scared of using anti anxiety meds as a temporary crutch.

Join an online group like I am sober or soberistas and/or the alcohol support group on MN. Watch Annie Grace on YouTube and join the Alcohol Experiment.

Stop having any alcohol and unhealthy foods in the house. To do this, only go shopping once a week and only when you are feeling good about yourself. Try to adopt a Mediterranean diet - lots of vegetables and protein and very few carbs and sugars.

Start exercising. No need to join the gym if you find it intimidating and/or you fear you won't go regularly. Buy a yoga mat and a pair of 3kg dumbells and find a fitness series on YouTube. There are loads, but Lucy Wyndham Read, Rebecca Louis and Popsugar Fitness are good for beginners.

Finally, I agree that a lot of people who recover seem to thrive on healthy diet and exercise....so make the changes....become addicted to exercise and healthy living instead. You will feel much better and live much longer for it

You can do this!

Just come back from the dr, having bloods taken on Monday blood pressure high!! Have to take it everyday for a week.
Didn’t get around to the anxiety!
Day 3 no wine which is good.

You can to this!
Drink plenty of water.
Replace alcohol with other drinks that you like. I use blackberry cordial and lemon + ginger tea

Well done on 3 days!

There are a couple of Dry January threads on the go. Join one or some people are in both.

You may well find your anxiety improves without alcohol. I know when I drink too much I wake up in the night feel crap physically and mentally. Alcohol definitely effects mood and not in a good way.

I just wanted to post to tell you that you aren't alone.

I find for me, trying to stop everything in one fell swoop never works. If I decide to do Dry January and low carb and exercise it just becomes too overwhelming so my advice is to maybe concentrate on having a dry period. Everything else can follow.

I do DJ every year but this year I want to do 100 days and the plan is whilst I am going to steer clear of the wine, I am not going to radically change my diet. It would just be too much in one go.

I find that without wine, I naturally consume less crap anyway but this week I am going to feed my soul. In the next few weeks I will make more of a conscious effort with what I eat, but I am not going to be OTT.

I have several mini goals I am starting as well... drinking 1.5L water per day and, taking my daily vitamins, getting outside each day. Just small and manageable things that will [hopefully] become habits.

I am fat very, very fat and I know the ideal would be to shift a tonne of weight as quickly as possible but I need to make changes in a way I can live with, without feel deprived / lacking.

I also find my anxiety is much more under control when I don't drink (as well as my BP - I am too scared to even take mine at present)

Well done on going to the Drs, well done on day 3. Just keep building on this all bit by bit.