Day 1

[moochies]

I posted another thread earlier about my disaster of a Christmas Day.

I just can't do it anymore, looking into the future I can see myself losing everything, my DH, friends, family. I was considering taking myself to a&e this morning because I was such a mess.

I'm absolutely determined to do it this time, so this is day 1.

Please join me.

Well done. I commented on your other thread.

Seek support, discuss it with your GP. I found a peer support group hugely helpful.

I'm here

Thank you. I've been literally suicidal today, eyeing up my medication and thinking I could just get it over with. I just can't do it anymore.

Has anyone been to any meetings, AA or other? What are they like?

I went to AA for about the first 5 years of my sobriety. Just go and listen. You'll learn a lot and eventually make some friends. I moved and never bothered to find a new group.

Some AA groups have a nicer dynamic than others, so feel free to try another if the first doesn't suit you. One of the most powerful things about them is that they are filled with lovely, perfectly normal people who have learned to live happy lives without drink. If they can do it, so can you.

Also, don't get too caught up in doing all of the steps, at least right away. Every part of the program is optional. There's a saying in AA, "Take what you want and leave the rest". There were a few bits I didn't find helpful, so I skipped them. I'm still sober 27 years on.

I'm happy to answer any AA questions.

Thank you. I'll see what's in my area. So you don't have to speak initially?

Lots of good info here:

www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk

No, lots of people just sit in the back and listen. There's usually cookies and coffee afterward and people may introduce themselves and welcome you if you stay for that. No one will interrogate you or pressure you to speak.

Honestly, everyone there will have been new at sometime earlier. They will know exactly how you feeling and wait for you to contribute.

Many groups have a women-only meeting. There are also online meetings, but I think initially it's much better to go in person.

I wonder if in person meetings are happening at the moment. I'd much prefer that.

The link I posted has a meeting finder search box. When you find a group or groups near you all of the details should be there.

I'm a Yank, but I know groups here are still doing in person meetings, masked and socially distant.

By the way, most groups collect a bit of money to cover the cost of the space and the snacks, so bring a quid or two to toss in. It's purely voluntary of course.

Hi moochies.

Brilliant that you’ve started this thread!

I read your other thread and identified a lot with your drinking.

I got sober 20 months ago when I decided I’d had enough of the fear and shame that inevitably followed my drinking disasters.

I’ve pm’d you details of a nice AA meeting if you’re interested. If not, I’m sure others will be along to share their suggestions xxx

There are still in person meetings happening, but wise to check on the AA website for any closure messages or contact details you can use to check out what’s still on. It’s a changing picture again due to omicron.

You could have a look into SMART recovery too.

Dry January 2022 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/4424261-dry-january-2022

There will be tips on here on ways to distract yourself and alcohol free alternatives. It will get busier after 1st Jan.

@GoodMorningMillicent

Hi moochies.

Brilliant that you’ve started this thread!

I read your other thread and identified a lot with your drinking.

I got sober 20 months ago when I decided I’d had enough of the fear and shame that inevitably followed my drinking disasters.

I’ve pm’d you details of a nice AA meeting if you’re interested. If not, I’m sure others will be along to share their suggestions xxx

Thank you!

I've also joined the Naked Mind FB group.

So many people in the same boat, really struggling and trying to quit.

I didn't get on too well with Annie Grace but she seems to be a mumsnet favourite.

You will find yourself looking at a few different things. It's ok to slip up too, if at first you don't succeed, try, try again 😀.

How are you getting on OP?

How are you feeling today, @moochies?

@moochies
Today is my two year sober anniversary of a decision just like yours, made after a similar evening.
I have just come in here to offer encouragement- this was absolutely the best decision for my family and for me. I am much happier, I have loads of time back, I wake up feeling fresh and energised, I don’t need to repeatedly make the decision not to drink any more - I just don’t drink. Our home is happier. I am a lighter, better, more playful mum, friend and wife.
Hang in there xxx

So I got very drunk on Boxing Day. Made a complete dickhead of myself. Lost my very expensive phone, banged my head in a hot tub. Used one of my old phones and found messages off some random man on it about us meeting up. I'm devastated and so worried DH will finish with me. I need serious help. And please try and be nice to me. I don't deserve it but no one hates me more than me right now

And I've been completely frank because I think that the only way it will help. I honestly wish I was dead right now

@teaandtoastwithmarmite

So I got very drunk on Boxing Day. Made a complete dickhead of myself. Lost my very expensive phone, banged my head in a hot tub. Used one of my old phones and found messages off some random man on it about us meeting up. I'm devastated and so worried DH will finish with me. I need serious help. And please try and be nice to me. I don't deserve it but no one hates me more than me right now

Well, I'm sorry that you had that experience but glad that you regret it and want to stop drinking. How often do you drink to excess? Do you drink very regularly?

There is no shame in needing help. Start with your GP and try a support group like AA.

It's probably only a few times a year. The rest of the time I can have one or two and be fine. But sometimes it's like I have no off switch. I'm on sertraline for anxiety so I shouldn't be drinking anyway. I was out with DH's family and they're massive drinkers. Not that that's an excuse.

The having no off switch is a hallmark of a propensity to alcohol abuse, but given the low frequency, it doesn't sound like it's really overboard at this point.

Do you feel like you would struggle with just stopping?

By the way, I haven't had a drink in 27 years and it's never been a problem in social situations. Just get a soft drink so that you have something to sip on.

I have always been a bit like this and I've been to the gp when I was younger and got cbt for anxiety. I am not massively sociable in a group anyway so when others are drinking I feel the need to join in. And I gave up for a few weeks earlier in the year but met with a friend and she was like have a drink. I only had one then though. On my wedding day-only 3 months ago I didn't drink anything until 9pm and still felt tipsy by the end so I think I need to just stop.