Dry January 2022

[MyGhastIsFlabbered]

Did Dry January this year and we had an amazing little support group going on here and I wondered if anyone cared to join me next year? This time I'm hoping to stay dry longer - 100 days - but will see how January goes first. I don't want to set myself up to fail.

Who's with me?

Hi just checking in agree with others @JaquiRussell please don’t beat yourself up - you didn’t choose to drink & I always thought cooking evaporated the alcohol - I’ve added wine to risotto in the past & given to to the kids. Day 4 has been ok for me although did have to distract myself after work by making soup for tomorrow & tidying out the freezer. Watched Mama Mia 2 with my DD tonight which was fun but forgot how much they drink in that movie! - did have me fancying a beer at one point but had a cornetto instead. In bed now with a lemon & ginger tea which someone suggested earlier in the thread - thanks it’s really nice. Good luck for tomorrow

I have had 2 stressful, long days at work and would normally reach for the wine. Am feeling pleased that I haven't.
DS2 goes back to uni on the weekend and has asked for a Chinese on Friday evening. That will be challenging.

Day 4 complete! Happy bloody days. It's sad to admit that I think I only achieved this once last year... Quite a reality check when I put it that way.

Also how has it taken me so long to discover mixing tonic and a cordial?! Delicious! With some ice and a slice lemon in a fancy glass. Think I'm going to have to get some AF Prosecco or beer for the weekend tho.

I keep trying to come back to my vision of what I hope being AF will do for me. New lifestyle. New future. Happier and healthy me.

Thanks everyone for posting, the thread is really helping to spur me on. We can do it... And equally don't anyone be hard on yourself if you struggle or wobble. It's just good to share.

Day 4

I'd already started cutting back, and on nights when I was drinking I was starting later and going to bed early during the week, so I keep telling myself that it's really only between 6.30 and 8.30 - a mere two hours - that I need to worry about.

Can't believe how unusually productive I've been though! It's like the motivation to not drink is spilling into other areas of my life.

Still dreading Friday night out though.....And Saturday.....

@Iamblossom

I completely understand you would be annoyed and feel scuppered *@JaquiRussell* but totally agree with pp that it doesn't count as you consumed it unknowingly and did not choose to have alcohol.

I agree with this 100&. Hope you slept okay *@JaquiRussell*

I slept really well. From about 9.30 until just before 5.30 when DS1 came in to say there was a scary noise in his room. (It was Number One Cat getting on his bed). Now DS1 and Number One Cat are snoring gently together and I am wide awake. :)

I am heading out later to stock up on more tonic and cordials as well. Our very early roast was good. The DCs then had a before bed snack of cinamon toast and hot chocolate. I feel very cosy and content this morning and like I am winning at parenting. This feeling will be brief.

My mother also had a severe drinking problem when I was growing up. She never drank very much, - maybe a bottle a day - but it affected her personaility very badly (and might well still do but she lives abroad so we see her rarely). She had a really traumatic past and drinking just blew the lid off it and she would revert into how her parents behaved with verbal and physical violence. It was that which stopped me from drinking until I was in my early 30s actually. I tend to be a sloppy teary drinker, but I know it exacerbates my depression and anxiety and I use it as a crutch to deal with (well to be honest) pretty much everything. I use drinking to put a veil between me and the world, as a few glasses makes me feel separated and detached and like I can have a little break from everything. But it actually does not work. It actually makes me tense, anxious, my self hatred increases with every sip and my self esteem drains away with every slip.

I'd like Dry Jan to stick. I've got alot of stuff I need to work through from my childhood and my expectations about myself and who I am. My greatest fear is that my beautiful sons will one day leave home and I will look back and think I missed all those years with them because I was checking out mentally.

I hope you all have a wonderful day no matter what day you are on. I echo our lovely @MyGhastIsFlabbered and say that no judgement here- we are all aiming for the same thing and if you slip then we are here with our hands out to you.

I'm late to the party. I'm starting dry January now, last had wine on the 3rd.
I slept brilliantly last night but I always do when I've not had a drink.
How's everyone else doing?

A bit better sleep. From 12 u til 4, then from 4 until 6. Wasnt as restless as usual in the sleepless bits. Heres to Day 5.

A good drink to have is a N&T. Nowt and tonic. Although lime and tonic is what it really is.

The longest I've gone without alcohol apart from when I've been pregnant is 2 weeks, that's quite sad isn't it?
My mums an alcoholic although she denies it, so growing up around alcohol was normal for me. I don't want that for my kids though, reading through the posts it seems many of us are in the same boat

to clarify, when I say my mother did not drink 'much' a bottle a day i know a bottle a day is alot but I meant she was not drinking all day every day if you know what I mean.

@IcedCoffeeMilkshake I understood what you meant, my mum is a lager drinker. 10+ cans a night, she doesn't think it's a problem though because she manages to go to work etc 🙄

Sounds familiar @Peanut82

It's a hard situation to grow up with. I do not want my kids having those sorts of memories of me. :(

Good morning all, checking in still AF on day 5! Interesting how many of us have some sort of past connection with alcoholism in parents. My mother was a non confessed alcoholic from around her 40's. Never drank before then and my dad passed away tragically at the age of 41 then she basically hit the bottle. I recall being around 8/9 years old being made to walk to the off licence in my night clothes with my sister and mum to buy more whisky (yep she was hardcore) she drank this tipple in her larger in a nice crystal glass until she passed out nightly. How we never got handed over to social services is beyond me. I have so horrid memories of coming in from playing outside to find my mum had tried to get up to go to the toilet and fallen over drunk hit the wall and passed out (often looking like some sort of blood bath).. we'd mop her up and put her to bed. Horrid memories now looking back. Anyway I digress.. I will not let that be me. It's the one thing I tell myself every time I think about having a glass of wine. I just cannot let me children see the same sort of mother. It's a harsh reminder of what could happen if you allow your drinking to get to that level. Slept amazingly well, rudely woken at 6.30 by the alarm.. back to school for child no.2 who leaves at 7.30am daily 🙈 I hope you all managed to get through AF yesterday, keep pushing forward gang! Have a wonderful Wednesday x

@IcedCoffeeMilkshake neither do I.
I'm never drunk at home but my kids (2 teens and a 6 year old) see me drinking wine at home. I don't want their memories of me to be having a glass of wine in hand.
My partner very rarely drinks so there will be no temptation at home. I'm determined to do it

Joining in here- am on dry day 4 as I started on 2nd. Hoping to do more than January - been worried about my drinking habit for a while. Cleared three testing points so far: a social get together, an evening at a friend’s (where we usually knock back wine) and getting home from my long work commute after the first day back! Good luck to everyone

Alcohol as an emotional crutch was certainly the reason I started drinking regularly. I was a very irregular drinker until a significant relationship break-up (and not looked back).

So after drinking daily for a week over Christmas (but at most four units in a day and mainly one or two), A-F since the 2nd I am feeling lousy and still sleeping fitfully. Shocking how quickly the body must get back into the swing of having alcohol in its system?

Morning everyone, still couldn't get to sleep last night so the laced carbonara mustn't have done anything, as you all said. But thank you for your support in my freak out.
Day 5, here we come!!

Took a while to drop off to sleep ( but we are in grown up and left home DDs room while the bathroom is being done up ) but didn’t wake until 8am ! Very nice too

Need to go to Tesco , and will calculate how much we’re not spending on wine and try and stash the cash somewhere in a saving pot ( it’s DH 60th in December and I’d like to stash away £1000 and take him away for a weekend - I saved £1000 for my 60th last year and took us away )

We’re all drinkers in my dads side of the family , social and not to excess , but still too much
I can remember Grandma having a whisky Mac every night in a huge heavy crystal glass , just poured , never measured !

Feeling good today , though I have a huge ulcer in my cheek , but I don’t think I can blame that on lack of alcohol !

Have a good day everyone , and as they say on Bootcamp
Water , water , water

@Iamblossom

Yep, not drinking is dull dull dull and the evenings are long without it.

I am 11% into Sober Diaries as recommended upthread, enjoying it very much.

I have booked dinner out for DH and I on Saturday night. At first he was dubious about doing something we would always drink at usually, but when I pointed out that with both of us sober we can drive ourselves there, eat, and drive ourselves back. No taxis, no bar before hand and pub after, enjoy a lovely Thai meal, have something to get dressed up for, and differentiate a Saturday night from a Wednesday. And we'll be with each other and not with drinkers.

We ate early this evening (for us) and I haven't drunk alcohol for 4 days. Go me.

You sound just like me once upon a time! The idea of drinking was dreary beyond measure.

But what if I were to ask you how is drinking dull? In what way could that be true?

I'm now on day 5 and very proud of myself. I've become a very regular (about 5 days a week) drinker over lockdown. I've gained three stone in three years. Before Christmas I was out with colleagues. I got so drunk I fell over and got a black eye and a broken rib. I was so ashamed of myself. I continued to drink until 1st Jan which felt like a good place to start.
I'm not sure whether or not I'll just do January or go teetotal. I know teetotal makes the most sense as I have a terrible relationship with alcohol and have absolutely no stop button. But I'm taking it day by day.
I already feel so much calmer and full of energy. Im enjoying staying up past 9.30 at night and actually remembering the TV I watch.
Wishing you all lots of luck with this. It's not an easy thing to do.

Best sleep ever. Solid 7 hours. Hoping that continues.
I hate the 3am wake ups when you've had wine and you worry about everything in the most ridiculous way.
Think I find abstinence much easier than moderation. One glass invariably leads to 2 or 3. Onward on day 5

I've been reading every day and I have to say, you're all doing SO WELL.

It's all still going well for me, but I wouldn't normally drink at home. What I'm worried about is the two big divisions things I have in the calendar. Firstly going to stay with my best friend later this month, who drinks A LOT every day. We always get drunk together, and have, since we were 18. I don't know how to navigate that without booze. We've never socialised sober, and I'm scared she'll feel I'm judging her lifestyle?

Secondly I've taken on being the social organised for our Pta. So there's a pub night at the end of January. I'm shy, and have always used alcohol as a crutch for boosting my confidence. I'll admit when I've done DJ before I never really succeeded in learning how to socialise without booze. I always feel drunk people find me boring when I'm sober!

Those things are both towards the end of the month. I think I'll read some quit-lit about coping with sober socialising.

@MajorityofThree

Best sleep ever. Solid 7 hours. Hoping that continues. I hate the 3am wake ups when you've had wine and you worry about everything in the most ridiculous way. Think I find abstinence much easier than moderation. One glass invariably leads to 2 or 3. Onward on day 5

Oh the 3am fear, I won't miss that. I won't miss scrabbling around at 6am for water neither

@MajorityofThree
Me too on both accounts; sleeping solidly and agree that abstinence is easer than "I'll just have a small one"!

@AlbertBridge
Hmm, with you here; it's the socialising that will be the challenge (not that I'm doing much with everything else going on!). Being a hermit is helping!

Loving all the support here, thank you - may it continue.

@HCHQ Totally! Being a hermit (I LOVED the lockdowns) really works for me in terms of healthy eating, not drinking, home routines, everything. As soon as I have to leave the house I turn into a burger-shovelling tequila monster!

@AlbertBridge I know what you mean about being anxious about social happenings. I went out with three friends at the beginning of December. I started off really well (on AF beers) but decided I could have just glass of wine which turned into three, including one which I said 'no thank you' to but it arrived anyway (it seemed impolite not to drink it once it was in front of me!). That was the only time in the lead up to Christmas (in my very moderate drinking phase) when I felt I'd drunk too much and it really made me feel 'bleurgh'.

I'm not sure what the solution is? Cut short the meet-ups when you feel your resolve weakening, or do something very full-on which means you're not sitting around in a pub/having a meal (or go to somewhere without an alcohol licence so you stick to soft drinks) catching up.