The Freedom Thread (Continued) - Enjoying the positives of an alcohol free life *Title edited by MNHQ*

[BunniesBunniesBunnies]

Hello all,

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

I hope to see many familiar names on this thread, and some new ones too! We always welcome anyone to share their feelings, ask questions or simply “check in”🙂

I’d also like to thank @Breathmiller for hosting the last thread (and to ask for your forgiveness for shamelessly stealing your thread title😳) - Thank you @Breathmiller 💐

Thanks all!

Bunnies

Welcome @Daffyaboutdaffs! Sorry you had a fall. I’m sure many of us can relate to that kind of night… With regards to DJ, I also started off wanting to quit for a month. After that month the benefits of being alcohol free were so glaringly obvious to me I had no choice but to continue, and here I am 20 months later feeling 1000x better than when I was still drinking! Good luck to you!

Welcome to the thread @Daffyaboutdaffs

Do you feel like talking about your drinking pattern?

Just checking in as it’s been a while.
I’m interested in how you are rewarding yourselves. I’ve also had a blip. A one drink blip after a particularly difficult ski run. It was a reward. And Xmas day. My DD said I’d ruin my ‘streak’ (I’m just over a year). It was like a reward for a year too except I’m kidding myself because I had a one drink blip a month ago too. Some of you will remember. I’m not entirely sure why I’m doing these blips. They’re quite conscious but only one drink. And why now after so long? I do NOT want to moderate and feel very resolved to continuing being AF. It’s almost though I’m testing myself. I don’t know.

Thanks @BunniesBunniesBunnies I hope I can keep strong. @Adm1010 yes I am happy to share. I am a binge drinker. I drink normally 3 days a week which will be Friday Saturday and Sunday lunch. I will generally get through a litre of gin in these 3 days. Normally “ok” on this. Xmas was different as added into the mix was Prosecco and wine which has led to the blackout. So the temptation is to stick with gin but actually that is so wrong because it’s a huge amount. Didn’t really think about it before. Just goes in the shopping trolley.

Welcome daffy
Are you wanting to stop forever? Not made that decision yet? Or focussing on dry Jan? I ask because I stopped in mid December last year and didn’t find the ‘Dry Jan’ MN thread at all helpful as most were drinking and not very committed whereas this thread was a lifesaver. I found posting on here daily was hugely beneficial and I ceased with the dry jan thread as it could have easily sabotaged my efforts. That sounds rather dramatic but you know what I mean. Of course, it could be different this year. Maybe ppl will be more committed. Just wanted to highlight the different level of determination/commitment.

@Daffyaboutdaffs this thread is amazing is you’re looking at long term sobriety . I’ve had many ups and downs over the years , I was a daily drinker , and I’m currently at 116 days ( bar one blip ) long term sobriety remains my focus .

I think this thread is different from the DJ. Becoming AF really requires you to look into yourself quite deeply and examine why you drink. It’s been a fascinating process for me. I know that sounds quite navel gazing but it’s true! It’s like learning to live differently.

For me it’s been a real struggle at times as I have misophonia and used alcohol to dull my sensory issues. I’ve had to find other ways of dealing with it (this is something I’m still working on). It was easier for me in some ways as I gave up just before lockdown so no socialising.

I’ve noticed my friendships are deeper and more meaningful. Less of me monotoning drunken crap and more of me truly listening and engaging. Not to mention the no hangovers/embarrassing moments etc… These are positives I hadn’t thought of. So have been a lovely surprise. I kind of feel whilst in some ways I still struggle I am engaging with the world much more. It can be a bit raw sometimes but I feel more alive. ❤️ Luckily I have a very supportive husband who is with me all the way. We have had to recalibrate a bit though.

@StayingVigilant the reward thing is tricky. I think it’s getting away from the idea that alcohol is a reward. I still struggle with this. I probably reward my self with shopping(bad), time to myself, planning fun stuff. Nothing immediate though like a drink. Sorry if that’s not helpful. I think you probably just need to keep examining the idea that alcohol is a reward. Work in progress for me too…

@doorornottodoor I love the idea of planning nice things to do for early weekend mornings. Such a difference from flopping round full of self-loathing and headache. Just realised I don’t want to waste another precious minute of my life being hungover.

@AfreshAfreshAfresh yes! My DH and I take turns although it’s usually me organising (slight bone of contention!) I also do stuff with friends. Challenges/hill walks or just a nice breakfast.

@StayingVigilant sorry about your “blip”. You ask, why? I think the answer is: Something is missing! And I don’t mean “will power” (I don’t really believe in that as a concept). I mean something like: A sense of self-worth, stimulation, joy and happiness, enough rest/sleep, satisfying relationships, confidence, alternative coping mechanisms, etc.

I have struggled with many substances over the years (including smoking and drugs). I haven’t had a “blip” with booze yet, but I had countless of blips with the other substances in the past. For me, what allowed a blip to occur is that I was lacking in joy and self worth. If you don’t feel like you’re worth anything, then there’s nothing to loose by fucking up.

Obviously it may not be self worth for you, it maybe be something else. You are clearly a super strong person to have made it so far with very few blips - But what is missing from your life to resort to booze on those occasions?

Maybe I am talking nonsense, but this is what I have learnt about myself over the last few years battling my demons. When I feel happy and “complete” (meaning nothing is missing), I do not have a blip at a difficult time.

Please ignore if you don’t think it applies to you, these are just my thoughts.

Interesting bunnies and definitely food for thought.

@StayingVigilant @Adm1010 @doorornottodoor thank you all for these insights into the difference between the 2 threads. My plan is to stay off the drink but my target for now will be the 31 days and then see where I am. Today is day 5 so it’s a good start. Tomorrow NYE we are with friends who are not particularly big drinkers and we are having a takeaway together so I will be able to resist. I have bought fevertree ginger beer for the bells which is a drink I really enjoy.

I’ve reclaimed the glass tonight! I’ve treated myself to a lovely new glass and I’ve made an AF gin and tonic with ice and lime . It actually tastes and FEELS nice . I’m surprised at the feel …

Checking in 👍
Excellent post @BunniesBunniesBunnies
I think I've always had low self worth - dysfunctional childhood etc

Very true @BunniesBunniesBunnies that’s why I think becoming AF is very different from just a dry January. It means taking on these demons really. Being brutally honest with oneself and self reflective. It’s been a fascinating experience for me and I’ve learned a lot. Still work in progress after nearly 2 years…

@Adm1010 sounds lovely! I’ve discovered sparkling water and ginger cordial are very good. Also Tesco AF gin and tonic cans. Love Thatchers AF cider too.

@Daffyaboutdaffs sounds good. I started with one month then just kept going! At some point I decided to give up properly! Until then I was too sad to consider it. It was like going through a grieving process for me , giving up alcohol. Shocking really.

Just a quick check in to say hello everyone and congratulations @Drybird2020 on your anniversary, I have forgotten if it is two years or three. Thank you for setting up this supportive and kind space.. I’ll catch up properly tomorrow and post again.

@doorornottodoor yes that makes sense to me. If I’m honest I don’t think I am ready to give up totally but once I start to see the benefits it will hopefully convince me to keep going.

I have my AF ginger beers in for the bells but my mind has already started to suggest that a glass of Prosecco at the bells wouldn’t be so bad. FFS

Hi all
Just calling in to celebrate 1 YEAR AF!!!!!!!
2021 has had its challenges but being AF has been fantastic.

Congratulations @WobWib so good to hear that it's been amazing

Delurking to congratulate @Drybird2020 on two sober years . And thank you for starting these threads, there's such great support here .

Hope everyone has a happy, healthy 2022 .

Congratulations @WobWib!! What have been the best bits for you?