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Alcohol support

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Original poster

When did you decide- I've had enough?

72 replies

Pugmumm · 31/10/2021 22:52

I would love to hear your stories Brew

I am 28 years old- been binge drinking since 18. Only been worse past few years:

  • I am a blabber mouth
  • inappropriate passes at people
  • blackouts and 'disappearing'
  • cringey social media posts/ texts I've sent that I have to wake up to (not remembering I've done it!!)
  • I have driven an hour and a half massively over the limit and very luckily was not caught (I cared my car off the road and damaged it in a field)- managed to drive it home...!!?!
  • grew up with an alcoholic farther - worse memories when I was younger.

I have so many bad memories and experiences surrounding me with alcohol but still have that urge to have 'just one' and it's never just one Sad I've tried hypnosis last year which actually helped for a couple of months. Then another lockdown happened. I got bored, working from home....

I went out with my work last Friday feeling bad now as I blacked out in the toilets and was sick.

I have a work's Xmas do end of November and I am really going to try and stick to the Diet Coke. If I can do this I'm going to decide to really give it a go to leave the booze for good!! I am devastated as I know I either have a problem or I am very close to hurting myself then only realising I have a problem!

OP posts:
DivorceAdvicePlease123 · 31/10/2021 22:59

I really hope you can beat this OP and I wish you the best but you're in for a right hammering on here. Please never drink drive again, you could have killed yourself or an innocent person or animal.

Original poster
Pugmumm · 31/10/2021 23:06

@DivorceAdvicePlease123 thank you for your response. The reason I drink drove was because I was staying with an ex partner of mine who lived a while away from me who also had one 'too many' and we got into an alcohol fuelled massive row and I had no choice but to leave, without going into detail it was extremely heated. Whilst no excuse EVER lesson learnt.

Hence we are not together now, I never forgave him for letting me leave that night.

I made myself watch all the YouTube videos for 'drink driving' and every single advert that existed for it. Never done it since, that was July 2020.

After that incident was when I booked into hypnosis a couple of weeks later. Whilst it stopped me drinking for a while I couldn't 'stay' stopped if that makes sense? Sad

OP posts:
JacquelineCarlyle · 31/10/2021 23:11

No judgement from me Op - just wishing you well. You have taken the biggest step by recognising your issue and taking steps to address it - please hang in there and stay strong. Can you join a local AA group and find some real life support?

TeeTotaller1 · 31/10/2021 23:11

Tee total for a year and a month here
Just had had enough and basically went cold turkey (not advisable for everyone)
I had lots of long baths, lots of early nights, read a lot of books and had lots of late night journeys for a drive through lattès!
Soberistas is fantastic for support
I wish you luck OP, one day at a time, you'll do it Flowers

Original poster
Pugmumm · 31/10/2021 23:13

Thanks @JacquelineCarlyle I really wanted to be as transparent as possible about my situation. I would say lesson learnt but why do I still reach for the alcohol?

I will see if there is an AA group around me during the week. Thank you again

OP posts:
TeeTotaller1 · 31/10/2021 23:14

Also read The Sober Diaries, very insightful

DivorceAdvicePlease123 · 31/10/2021 23:15

[quote Pugmumm]**@DivorceAdvicePlease123* thank you for your response. The reason I drink drove was because I was staying with an ex partner of mine who lived a while away from me who also had one 'too many' and we got into an alcohol fuelled massive row and I had no choice but to leave, without going into detail it was extremely heated. Whilst no excuse EVER lesson learnt. *

Hence we are not together now, I never forgave him for letting me leave that night.

I made myself watch all the YouTube videos for 'drink driving' and every single advert that existed for it. Never done it since, that was July 2020.

After that incident was when I booked into hypnosis a couple of weeks later. Whilst it stopped me drinking for a while I couldn't 'stay' stopped if that makes sense? Sad[/quote]
You did stop for a bit though, you can do again x

Original poster
Pugmumm · 31/10/2021 23:17

Wow congratulations @TeeTotaller1 that sounds absolutely amazing (and heaven to me).
latte's actually being my new favourite Sad

I am going to purchase myself a new kindle I've set my sights on and hopefully get stuck into some good books during the colder evenings (and not reach for the red wine). Wine is an absolute demon for me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pugmumm · 31/10/2021 23:17

@TeeTotaller1 I will give that a read- thank you!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Pugmumm · 31/10/2021 23:19

@DivorceAdvicePlease123 not sure why I started again... I suffer sometimes with social anxiety which does very unfortunately result in me reaching for the wine. Perhaps I need to work on that first. Xxx

OP posts:
Nandakanda · 31/10/2021 23:24

Never being able to have just one could be an early indicator of alcoholism.

The test would be can you stop - ie. have say two drinks and then just stop and not be bothered? Can you you stop for a month or even a week? How would you feel if you did? Would you be gasping and counting the days until you can drink again? Alkies have serious difficulty stopping for even 2-3 days.

Family history of alcoholism is a good indicator. Expect the depression to start soon if it hasn’t already - and the relationship difficulties.

I’m an alcoholic and I wasn’t aware of it until around 28, and it took me a further 7 years until I finally stopped 27 years ago in AA. Life has been incredible since.

TeeTotaller1 · 31/10/2021 23:27

It was wine and whisky for me
Also start saving your money that would have gone on booze, then buy yourself something lovely, or buy tickets for something you want to see.
You will have times when you want a glass of something alcoholic, I was like it earlier after a bit of a crappy day ,it's not gone away yet and will probably be a while before it does, so just be aware of the triggers.
I took myself off and baked some cupcakes with The Killers playing at full blast. Then had a cuppa and a chat with my DD. The feeling passed. This time last year I'd be swigging from a bottle of Jamesons Hmm
Read all the books you can on Sobriety, listen to podcasts etc and talk talk talk if you feel overwhelmed
The positives far far outweigh the negatives
The first social event being AF is a tester I won't lie but.....
You're stronger than you think you are
Good luck! 🌹

TeeTotaller1 · 31/10/2021 23:29

@Nandakanda

Never being able to have just one could be an early indicator of alcoholism.

The test would be can you stop - ie. have say two drinks and then just stop and not be bothered? Can you you stop for a month or even a week? How would you feel if you did? Would you be gasping and counting the days until you can drink again? Alkies have serious difficulty stopping for even 2-3 days.

Family history of alcoholism is a good indicator. Expect the depression to start soon if it hasn’t already - and the relationship difficulties.

I’m an alcoholic and I wasn’t aware of it until around 28, and it took me a further 7 years until I finally stopped 27 years ago in AA. Life has been incredible since.

Amazing ❤
Original poster
Pugmumm · 31/10/2021 23:37

Thank you so much @Nandakanda i am glad you are happy now and have done that for yourself, inspiration Thanks

Yes I have a family history of alcoholism. Dad is an alcoholic and also cousin on dad's side. He is manic depressive with alcohol, very sad. Marriage ended in divorce after 5 months. No one knows details but infidelity and lies which was centred all around alcohol (he is only 34)

I have a craving to drink every day yes but I don't do it, the craving is there but I distract myself. Once it gets to 8 or 9pm I just fancy a cuppa. I can go up to a week without a drink.

Another recent binge session was when my partner was out on a work's do only 2 weeks ago and I was home alone. I finished the bottle of Prosecco we had in the fridge to myself- realised that had gone then I randomly poured myself a glass of lemonade to top it up with the last drops of our gin and then started on the rum Sad then caused an argument when he got home.... not the first time I have done that but as long as it was alcohol it didn't matter to me.

OP posts:
Nandakanda · 31/10/2021 23:40

I hear you pugmumm.

Done that many times.

Original poster
Pugmumm · 31/10/2021 23:42

@TeeTotaller1

It was wine and whisky for me Also start saving your money that would have gone on booze, then buy yourself something lovely, or buy tickets for something you want to see. You will have times when you want a glass of something alcoholic, I was like it earlier after a bit of a crappy day ,it's not gone away yet and will probably be a while before it does, so just be aware of the triggers. I took myself off and baked some cupcakes with The Killers playing at full blast. Then had a cuppa and a chat with my DD. The feeling passed. This time last year I'd be swigging from a bottle of Jamesons Hmm Read all the books you can on Sobriety, listen to podcasts etc and talk talk talk if you feel overwhelmed The positives far far outweigh the negatives The first social event being AF is a tester I won't lie but..... You're stronger than you think you are Good luck! 🌹
Amazing Thanks has your DD noticed a difference?

I have noticed the triggers for me (not all of them yet). Mainly a crappy day/ stressful week.... social anxiety sometimes. Or even being alone with partner is out/ getting bored.

I am going to start on the sober books this week Smile

another red flag for me to stop has been knowing I had a stressful day coming up 'at the office' and I mixed lemonade with vodka in a flask and took to work and drank it at my desk (about a shot amount).

I am not proud of myself and terrified to be honest. I done that twice this year but not done it since.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pugmumm · 31/10/2021 23:43

@Nandakanda nice to know you understand, thank you. Can't tell anyone else around me. DP didn't suspect very luckily but I knew I was slurring my words at him Sad

OP posts:
Amdone123 · 31/10/2021 23:51

You're 28. If you stop now, you are doing your future self a massive favour.
Lots you can do to stop and lots of help out there.
Annie Grace 30 day experiment or join the thread here for stopping in November.
Club Soda, Soberistas, AA, you tube podcasts etc - find the best for you.
I personally take one day at a time. If I do have a drink, I enjoy it and thanks to recent hypnotherapy, bat away any guilt.
I journal daily and am aware of pitfalls, consequences and benefits. Writing it down helps me. I understand social anxiety. When I look back to times when I got so drunk, it was because I was nervous/ antsy / scared.
You have to know why you drink I think before you tackle it.
I have periods of abstention and it is during those times I'm the happiest.

TeeTotaller1 · 31/10/2021 23:53

@Pugmumm she has yes, she's your age Smile
It's good that you're recognising the triggers
Keep a journal as well, 15 mins or so to reflect on the day. You literally have to approach your day from a different angle, from the time you get up to the time you go to bed.
My DD loves a pink Gin, my DH loves a neat whisky they literally sometimes whisper 'coooee you know you want me' 🤣

Phlaps · 01/11/2021 00:05

I can't recommend "One Year No Beer" highly enough, find them on FB - start at 28 days and see how you get on. I'm now well over 7 months sober after joining them. It's a very open approach, hugely supportive community and they really get into the different emotions and reasons behind people drinking.

Best of luck op please keep us updated, you can do this.

Phlaps · 01/11/2021 00:07

...I should have said that everything you've experienced resonates with me by the way. I have done all of the things you describe and worse in some cases. Thanks

Original poster
Pugmumm · 01/11/2021 07:38

Cannot say how helpful it is and how touched I am by everyone's comments, really does make you feel like you aren't alone Brew really excited to start my journey. I am starting from today 1st November 👏🏻 will certainly keep everyone updated, thank you again x

OP posts:
Anothernamechange3 · 01/11/2021 07:45

Hi, this has resonated with me and I’d also like to stop. I’m going to try for an alcohol free November to start. Maybe I could check in here and see how you’re going?

Original poster
Pugmumm · 01/11/2021 07:47

@Anothernamechange3 yes of course- would be nice to update each other!

I am starting today from 1st November to actually see how I get on. I have a Christmas party on 27th November which I can't wait for as it will be my first sober experience whilst out with work (very much needed and I need to be have after last Friday).

Good luck to you

OP posts:
IWishToAnswerInTheAffirmative · 01/11/2021 07:56

I might join you here. 1 November. New month. New start.

My issue isn’t quite as “extreme” as some of the ones on this thread. I’m having a couple of glasses of wine a night (and it is every night, as much as I tell myself it isn’t every night). It’s creeping up and up. My sleep is awful. My skin. My waistline. It’s impacting everything.

Before lockdown I had it well under control. Lockdown has ruined me in so many ways. The problem is that I don’t really want to stop. I feel like with full time WFH and the grind of two small children, there isn’t much else to do/look forward to.