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Alcohol support

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Original poster

At rock bottom, please help

70 replies

newme2022 · 06/09/2021 10:48

I drink around two thirds to a full bottle of wine six or seven nights a week and have done for many years. I don’t usually feel too bad the next morning - I’m often a little tired and sluggish but I can function and get most things done.

Yesterday though I drank a bit more than usual, about 1.5 bottles, and crucially didn’t have a lot to eat. I made a total fool of myself with friends as I was talking rubbish thanks to the alcohol and made a couple of embarrassing posts on social media whilst drunk.

I woke up this morning feeling horrendous. I can’t stop crying and feel so down. I’m so ashamed of my behaviour and so embarrassed about what I might have said - I can’t remember that much but I know I was talking gibberish. I’ve deleted the social media posts but lots of friends have already seen them.

I’m at rock bottom today and can’t take any more of this awful hangover feeling, another day written off and lost, not to mention the horrific anxiety that comes with it all. I hate myself so much.

I’m in despair and don’t know where to go from here. I absolutely won’t go to my GP (please don’t even suggest it) so need to hugely moderate or give up completely on my own. I’m a very anxious person and drink mainly to relax and stop my constant anxious thoughts.

How do I get through today, the next day, this week and beyond? How do I beat this?

Please help me.

OP posts:
savvy7 · 06/09/2021 11:26

You should go to your GP to treat your underlying anxiety.

I would also advocate exercise - go to the gym / pool etc in the evening i.e. make it difficult to find the time to drink.

nzeire · 06/09/2021 11:39

You’re in the horrors
Het through the day and then start making plans, you’ll be ok xx
Text the people you were out with, apologise if you were a dick, tell them you’re suffering
Hot shower, clean sheets, crap tv
Wake up tomorrow, have an amazingly day full of walks, good healthy food, talk to someone you trust.
A few glasses of wine is ok IMO, however, if drinking because of anxiety, or other issues, probably best to cut down or quit for a while
Take care ( and as long as you didn’t: wee yourself, throw yourself at someone’s husband or throw up in the can in the way hime, you’re probs ok) xxx

Original poster
newme2022 · 06/09/2021 11:57

Thanks for the replies, it helps a lot. I feel so upset and so ashamed of myself.

OP posts:
allycat4 · 06/09/2021 12:49

The binge yesterday is actually far less of an issue than the bottle a night.

On getting drunk and being a bit daft - we've all been there. But I think the daily drinking is more of an issue for your long term health. How do you feel about quitting completely?

Cocogreen · 06/09/2021 13:00

Text your friends and say " oh my God I'm so sorry I drank so much and made a fool of myself. I feel so embarrassed. Sorry."
I think owning up to the behaviour is important - then it's not the elephant in the room as it would be if you pretend it didn't happen.
You need to get professional help with your drinking. I think you're very brave to post this here and you want to take control. Wishing you all the best.

Original poster
newme2022 · 06/09/2021 13:17

How do you feel about quitting completely?

Ideally I’d like to get in a situation where I only drink two nights a week, and only have one or two glasses maximum on those nights.

Still feeling dreadful from the hangover, it’s hell.

OP posts:
Hohofortherobbers · 06/09/2021 14:43

Harness this feeling, make it work for you. Take 30 days off the booze to reassess your relationship with it. You will undoubtedly feel better, sleep better and look better. Join one of the alcohol free threads for encouragement and support

ChalkAndChalk · 06/09/2021 23:09

Stopping drinking brings huge benefits with it including a reduction of anxiety. It's amazing how calm you feel and then you realise the drink was never calming you down it was actually doing the opposite.
Try reading something like The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley.

Original poster
newme2022 · 07/09/2021 12:30

Stopping drinking brings huge benefits with it including a reduction of anxiety. It's amazing how calm you feel and then you realise the drink was never calming you down it was actually doing the opposite.

@ChalkAndChalk I didn’t drink yesterday as I was feeling so hung over. I feel physically much better today but the anxiety is still there - I’m feeling so anxious right now and I don’t even know why.

OP posts:
Original poster
newme2022 · 07/09/2021 12:31

I’m planning to stay alcohol free tonight as well.

OP posts:
Ultraopaque · 07/09/2021 12:35

But op (said gently) why don't you visit your GP to tackle the anxiety. You don't have to mention alcohol do you? Or see a private licensed psychologist who specialises in anxiety? Surely the way to approach this is to tackling the underlying cause? Good luck to you.

Original poster
newme2022 · 07/09/2021 12:37

@Ultraopaque you’re right, I should probably speak to the GP about my anxiety. They’re just very unapproachable and make you feel like you’re wasting their time unfortunately.

OP posts:
nzeire · 07/09/2021 12:46

Find a new gp! Or go and talk to a drug and alcohol counsellor. These people are here to help you!
You are not alone xx

Ultraopaque · 07/09/2021 12:46

newme2022 I can understand that. I have a similar GP unfortunately.

Is there any other organisation you can reach out to? Mind maybe? Or Mental Health matters? Or any support at work? Or save up and see a psych privately?

Hope you feel better as the day goes on.

WindowsSmindows · 07/09/2021 12:55

Jason Vale kick the drink
Annie Grace this naked mind

I can't recommend these enough.
You are not alone.
Use this shame and regret to motivate yourself.
Just get your hands on the books don't even worry about reading them yet.

Original poster
newme2022 · 07/09/2021 13:04

I think I need to see the GP about the anxiety unfortunately, as I’d like to try medication (I did try CBT before and it helped a bit but not enough). I’m just too daunted to call as I know they will be brusque and dismissive.

Thanks for the book recommendations.

OP posts:
bluejelly · 07/09/2021 13:05

As others say, tackling the anxiety is key. Go to the GP and don't leave until they have signed you up for counselling and suggested possible meds. Be honest with them about your life and your desire to change. Best of luck Smile

frutyloops · 07/09/2021 13:06

Have you tried Duloxetine ? Anxiety medicine - but it was like pressing a Button for me. Havent had a drop in 7 weeks, Can easily look at others drinking, no temptation. So weird.

Letthelightoflove · 07/09/2021 13:07

Don’t use phrases like “rock bottom” if you just want to cut down.

Original poster
newme2022 · 07/09/2021 21:09

Don’t use phrases like “rock bottom” if you just want to cut down.

@Letthelightoflove thanks for that unhelpful comment Confused

I'm really struggling with my second night off drinking tonight. Work is causing me a lot of stress at the moment and alcohol has traditionally been my way of coping with that. I'm on the non-alcoholic drinks but as good as they are, they just can't give you that same "release" as alcohol does.

OP posts:
Original poster
newme2022 · 07/09/2021 21:11

@frutyloops no, I haven't tried any medication for anxiety yet. Hoping the doctor will give me something if I can actually get up the courage to call them.

OP posts:
tootiredtospeak · 07/09/2021 21:13

What about the GP to tackle the anxiety and play down the drinking you need to be serious though as you dont then want to start mixing meds and drink. You could also self refer for talking therapy for the anxiety. You need to tackle that the drinking is your crutch for it.

Original poster
newme2022 · 07/09/2021 21:14

you need to be serious though as you dont then want to start mixing meds and drink.

Can you not drink at all when on anxiety medication?

OP posts:
SoberSept21 · 07/09/2021 21:18

OP, I read Allen Carr's (not the comedian) book on Sunday and it was like a light bulb moment for me. I went from wanting to moderate to 1-2 glasses once a week to deciding to quit completely. I am now sure that alcohol has nothing to offer me other than poor health (physical and emotional) and a huge dent in my wallet so I'm done with it. It doesn't help my stress/anxiety - it adds to it.
I'd recommend a read of the book.
I've just joined the alcohol free thread too so why don't you come and chat too - it's full of really positive people with lots of ideas and very supportive.

Letthelightoflove · 07/09/2021 21:27

My point was, OP, that you’re not really at “rock bottom” at all - it seems like you just had the Fear and a hangover. Anxiety meds seem attractive to you but would you not try staying sober for a week and seeing how that affects (diminishes) your anxiety before you take medication? I suspect you won’t which is a shame because that in itself means you should be doing more than just cutting down.
Non alcoholic drinks don’t give you the “release” that booze does but that is rather the point. You have to find a different way of dealing with difficulties and stress. But the beauty of that is that it will be a permanent release not a temporary and fake one that only serves to increase the stress the next day.
However it plays out though, you are not at rock bottom. Yet.