How do I cut-down/stop drinking?

[CuckooCuckooClock]

I’m in desperate need of help.
I have always used alcohol to cope with pretty much any sort of pain or distress but it’s so much worse after all this COVID-19 business.
What I really need is alternative strategies to cope with stress/anxiety in the moment. For eg yesterday afternoon the dc were complaining they were hungry but refusing any of my suggestions. The kitchen needed tidying (dishwasher unloading and reloading etc) washing needed to be hung out, cat brought in a half-dead animal, ds pissed all over the bathroom so that all needed cleaning then my dad rang for some help with his house move and a school mum text to complain that my dd was leaving hers out. I know that is all standard family shit but I just couldn’t cope so I drank a bottle of wine whilst I sorted it all. I need another way to cope with the panic so I can do all the jobs.
Does anyone have any ideas?

So I am functional in the sense that I meet the basic needs of my family and job but it mainly through the fog of being half drunk which is far from ideal.

Don’t have alcohol in the house. If you’ve not got it, you can’t drink it.
Do you drink every day, and how much ?

Probably around 4 bottles of wine a week at the moment.
Just not drinking doesn’t work because then I am unable to do anything. I need another way of coping with the panic. If I didn’t drink I wouldn’t be able to get the dc dinner or put them to bed or clean the house. It’s the drink that’s helping me do these things because it silences the pain. I need another way to switch off the distress.

Have you spoken to your GP about the anxiety? It can be a bit of a cycle with drinking and anxiety because the wine dulls the anxiety in the moment but then it comes back worse.

Antidepressants/anti-anxiety medication should help - much more effective and safer than self-medicating with alcohol. Go to your GP ASAP.

(P.S. I was in exactly the same situation, it's really hard I know )

I didn't drink due to panic, I drank out of habit. It just became the norm to crack open a bottle of wine every night. Before long I had put on loads of weight and felt permanently sluggish and tired.

Alcohol may alleviate anxiety for a short time but in the long run it'll make you much more anxious. It's a depressant after all. Find new strategies to cope with panic - take 5 minutes out to do some deep breathing rather than reaching for a bottle. Or speak to your GP if it's really bad.

From what you've said you use alcohol as a coping strategy and that can be a slippery slope.

The best thing I did was read "Easy way to control alcohol" by Allen Carr. Went overnight from drinking pretty often and to the point of binging to not touching a drop for five months. I eventually started to have a couple again but re-reading the book helped me. He's the same guy that wrote the stop smoking book that loads of people rave about. Amazing book! Seems to trigger something in the brain that makes giving up easy.

Hi OP, don't underestimate how much the alcohol is contributing to the anxiety...if you can manage a few days/weeks without it you will definitely feel better. Just take it one day at a time, get help off your GP if you can and read some of the quit-lit out there.

I know the alcohol is making the anxiety worse but in the moment it helps and I am just trying to get through the day.
I have been in antidepressants or mood stabilisers for around 20 years now.
The gp can’t help. Believe me I have begged them over the years for anxiety medication but they have just increased antidepressant dose each time and it hasn’t helped.

I realise this is a bit problem and not a quick fix but I cannot even contemplate reading a book right now. I just need a way of managing the next couple of hours!

I feel your pain @CuckooCuckooClock. The demands of daily family life can be overwhelming. I’d speak to your gp about getting medication for anxiety to help with these feelings. 💐

Would you consider seeing a different GP? Your GP doesn't sound helpful!

I have spoken to the gp many times. They just give me a number to call but it’s only 9-5 Monday to Friday so I am either at work or looking after dc. That’s why I am asking here now for help. What do you do when it’s all too much but you can’t get physically away from it all and need to push on through?

Could you take the DCs out of the house for a couple of hours? And just leave the house worries just now

I don’t think there is anything else the gp can do. There is no help available.

Where could I take the dc? I’m so tired and so are they actually- it’s been a full on summer and back to school nerves are kicking in

You sound really down. Ring or email the Samaritans if it’s all feeling too much

How old are your DCs? Do you get any break from them (apart from when you are at work!) ?

To be clear- the number the gp have me is the drug and alcohol support helpline.

Is there a park near you? Old school running about and getting fresh air

Have you tried The Alcohol Experiment? It's been a game changer for me.

Dc are 7 and 11. No proper break and I WFH during the holidays so it’s been me and them nonstop. But I am dreading going into work next week when they’re back at school. Everything feels so awful. That’s why I am already counting down the minutes until I can open another bottle. I usually try to wait until 5pm so I’m not too drunk before dc bedtime. It’s going to be another long day!

There’s a park but no running - dd has a sprained ankle (she has hyper mobility so often struggles)

I really feel for you OP and wish we could do more to help! I think a lot of mums get to the end of the summer break stressed and fed up. I know I did when mine were younger.
Are there any other GP practices you could change to?