When does it get easier?

[Alonelonelylonersbadidea]

Hi there, this is my first post in this part of MN as I've managed what I couldn't before.

It's early days, I'm sober now for just 11 days. For years I have drink between 1-2 bottles of wine a day plus probably qtr bottle of whisky, maybe more if I'm honest. It was years. Many years. I drink instead of eating.

My eyes are clearer. And my skin. But I am so so tired in the evening and morning. Even typing this message is making me salivate. So I miss it.

When will it get easier?
Will it?
When I am having a bad day, which is often recently, I struggle to not buy booze. The only way I have managed is to not have it in the house. I am a hair's breath away from succumbing.
Please tell me it gets easier.

Also I have felt increasingly sad. Just so down. Is this my body just getting used to living without alcohol?

I'm sorry for the questions. I'm just doing it alone. I've told no one I'm doing this as a concerted attempt to give up. It's like admitting I have a problem I guess.

First of all bloody well done! That’s a brilliant achievement.

Are you on Twitter? There is a great supportive group on there - #RecoveryPosse. I found it looking for tweets from SoberLady who I heard on Jeremy Vine on Radio 2. She had posted photos of her face while drinking and after six months sober. I started following her on Twitter and I’m finding seeing so many tweets from people who have given up quite inspiring.

As to when it gets easier I’m not sure! I’m currently not drinking and finding it easy as I’m away from home at my Dad’s and there is no booze here but I know it will be harder when I go back home. I will say though that I didn’t drink as much as you.

Keep posting here. There will be lots of support. There are some long running threads I think.

Thank you so much @Peridot1 .
I love the idea of photos. My face already looks better so I shall do that. And I'm going to google/check on Twitter Soberlady.

Thank you so much for your positivity!

Hello.

I’m 295 days sober, and I remember feeling like you in the early days.

I think it took about a month for alcohol to stop dominating my thoughts. I very rarely think about it now, unless there’s an event on the horizon that makes me feel vulnerable - a party, for example.

It’s really important to be kind to yourself at this point. Listen to your body. You might be craving sugar - I bought a big bag of those little packets of Haribo, and found they took the edge off my cravings, particularly the sour ones.

I had a lot of hot baths, a lot of naps and read a lot of quit lit. I signed up to the Annie Grace 30 Day alcohol experiment, joined the Club Soda Facebook group and installed the Sober Time app on my phone to track my progress.

It’s a lot of work at first, but it’s so, so worth it. Invest this time and effort in yourself.

Oh, another thing that helped massively was installing the Calm app and meditating every day. The How To Meditate series by Jeff Warren was brilliant. So good that I’ve kept it up and now meditation is a big part of my life.

Funnily enough @LunaNorth I actually bought myself some sour haribo yesterday. It must be a thing as I never eat sweets!

So i have bought the ebook and downloaded the App! Which I will put my details into now.
Thank you so much!

Good luck. Give me a shout if I can be of any help. Enjoy those Haribos

Well done OP you've done amazingly well to get to 11 days!

Just remember the way you feel now is NOT what sober life feels like. The exhaustion is because of the drink, not because you're sober. I have found that things get a lot better at the 2 week mark, I hope it does for you too.

If you're feeling very tired this can be a massive trigger. Although it's not a good idea to take sleeping tablets long term they can be a lifesaver in the early days of sobriety - you'll be amazed how much better you feel after a proper sleep.

Like a PP I have found the Jeff Warren 30 day How to Meditate course on the Calm app so helpful. I really recommend it.

I always found that reading "quit lit" helped keep me motivated. If you're the same, then "The unexpected joy of being sober" by Catherine Gray, "This naked Mind" by Annie Grace and "Alcohol Explained" by William Porter are good ones to try. I also liked Recovery by Russell Brand but it's not everyone's cup of tea!

Good luck, we are all rooting for you, stick with it x

Thanks so much @JovialNickname !

I am so glad a posted on here now as I was really feeling bleak . I just wish I had posted sooner. I now feel like 11 days is just grand and I can carry on!
I will get those books too. Even the Russell Brand one!

YY to all those books. Quit Like A Woman by Holly Whitaker is great too. Really empowering.

Oh great! Thanks @LunaNorth
All these will really keep my brain occupied I reckon.

Well done on getting to 11 days. That's such a big achievement and it'll start to get easier soon.

The advice others have given you is brilliant. I'd also like to add using the 'i am sober' app, it counts the days/months/years that you've been sober for. I found it really helped in the early days. Also be extra kind to yourself, lots of treats, baths, pedicures, whatever gives you a little boost. If finances allow then treat yourself with the money you've saved from not buying alcohol.

That's the strange thing @Wellysock . I don't know how I have been affording it. Corona has reduced my income and made my job future insecure. I am disgusted by me prioritising my alcohol needs.
Now I guess I'll buy more food. Or books!

Wow, you are doing brilliantly. I' be had a drinking problem since my early teens and was drinking a similar amount to you. I managed a year sober then lockdown hit and living alone meant I had every excuse to drink again. I stopped at the end of March, first month was awful - cravings, night sweats, no sleep, felt exhausted, headaches etc. Now, I feel so much better and look better! This keeps me going knowing that I don't want to feel crap every day. I've saved £900 by transferring my daily drinking cost into my savings, this has motivated me so much. I've overhauled my diet (I eat crap when I'm drinking), lots of fresh food, take a multivit too (alcohol depletes your body of nutrients). Daily speed walk. Over time I promise those thoughts and cravings will reduce. I have days I never think about alcohol and times when it takes over my brain. Stay strong, focus on the positives and how alcohol makes you feel afterwards, for me I felt Shame and guilt. Every day is a day alcohol free and a step towards change do it for you and your future. Find something to replace the alcohol - a new healthy addiction (mines cooking new recipes for healthy eating). The fact you have reached out means your serious, you want to do it and you will

It will get so much easier. The early days are just marking time. I second Alcohol Explained and I loved Alcohol Lied to Me too. I'm just over 2 years without booze and just see myself as an ex drinker now. I'm definitely not in recovery or even sober. I'm just in the natural state us humans are meant to be in. Not consuming diluted ethanol every day.

What great replies @Northernsoullover and @freeandfierce . Thanks !
Thanks so much for your positivity.
I know it'll be a long road but I am starting to feel, after posting, that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I stumble and start thinking I can't deal with feeling like crap all the time, I have to remind myself that alcohol makes me feel even worse.

Also £900 @freeandfierce !! That's real motivation right there! I figure I'm drinking at least £20 a day

Another thing that really helped was to try lots of different ‘grown-up’ alcohol free drinks, to have at the time I would have started drinking (which was while making dinner for me).

I have a fancy glass, a slice of lemon, etc, and it satisfies the itch just as much as a g and t did, without the resulting hot mess.

I recommend Everleaf, Seedlip and Aecorn, all lovely with tonic. AF beer is good, and I’ve also discovered Kombucha. There’s a whole world out there these days!

I just bought a six pack of AF flavoured beers. I am having a family zoom call tonight and it normally is something I can't do without at least a bottle of wine first.
It'll be a real test.

If your spending around £20 a day that's over £7,000 a year! Imagine being told that if you gave up alcohol you'd get a £7,000 pay rise! Think what you could get for that amount of money !

I'm over 7 months sober and the thing that changed it all for me was when it clicked that drink didn't do what it promised. It didn't actually relax me. It made me a bit giddy and fuzzy round the edges for maybe an hour and then I'd just carry on drinking my head off until I fell asleep.
I barely think about drinking now and I genuinely don't miss it. I sleep a full night. I'm calm and patient and I look better.
Find some sober insta pages, read some quit lit and use an app to record your progress.
It does get better, honestly. Just take it one day at a time.

Well done on making the decision to quit!
I think I felt worse before I felt better and I ate any sugar I could stuff in my mouth in the early days-biscuits, cakes, chocolate-all stuff I never bothered with usually but I figured I’d deal with the sugar cravings once I had dealt with the alcohol cravings.

I’ve actually avoided AF beer/wine. I think if I had a taste I would be thinking how great it tasted and it would send me straight out for the real stuff but I know lots of posters on the alcohol supports threads find it really helps.

I read the unexpected joy of being sober during the early days of giving up. I’m now 49 weeks AF and love not drinking!

It will get easier. Alcohol used to be on my mind all the time, I don’t even think about it now.

Last Night I just drank some fizzy drinks and I survived it!

Hey OP, I can remember being at 11 days as well and feeling overwhelmed. It gets better and easier - I'm unbelievably at 336 days today and rarely think about it.

The Jason Vale and Allen Carr books are good- the Allen Carr one (how to stop drinking the easy way I think) in particular spoke about wine/ Prosecco -any alcohol really- being "attractively wrapped poison" and now when I see people drinking that picture stays with me! I just value my health and well-being now.

I also have the I am sober app and the 'sober time' one is good too as it gives you a positive thought for each day and tots up how much money you are saving.

When you mentioned drinking instead of eating- how is your eating now? Is that something you still need to work on, and how is your vitamin intake?

Would some CBT or therapy help with any other issues that might be underlying? (with all that money you are saving you might be able to afford it privately?)

There is a thread, and previous threads, in Alcohol Support for people at all stages on this journey who have stopped drinking, whether it's their first day or 11 days or 100 days and it's incredibly supportive. Called something like finding freedom / alcohol free or something, have look.

You are fab for getting this far, you can do it x

Well done for last night too OP, and yes, you will survive (and thrive!)