Two bottles of wine a night. Help I think I am an an alcoholic.

[BabyBearRus]

Well, I am typically drinking 2 bottles of wine a night. Am I an alcoholic? I can't seem to last beyond two days before having wine. I have an addictive personality have previously been a smoker). I am seriously thinking about taking up smoking again so as to ditch the alcohol. Advice desperately needed

Luckingfovely wishing you all the very best. I feel your pain. Like you, I had an alcoholic parent (who I am pleased to say quit drinking 25 years ago). My dad also suffered two traumatic experiences in his life and drank to block out the pain. I actually helped him (as a teenager myself) to seek help for his addiction. I wish I could turn to him now, as he would understand more than anyone. But I don't want to cause him any worry. I hope you manage to get on top of this and live a more joyous life.

Griefmonster yes, so true.

Many thanks for your post Northernsoullover

@Griefmonster your comment made me cry, in a very positive way, thank you. I feel very touched and understood, somehow. Thank you again.

@BabyBearRus maybe let's keep this thread going and offer each other and all those who need it, some support?

Luckingfovely Definitely. Praying that all of us who need to live a different life get there in the end. Keep posting everyone. Your experiences and advice are invaluable. We know we drink far too much. All advice on how to stop much appreciated x

Highly recommend the unexpected joy of being sober. She talks about why moderation doesn’t work and how other people particularly those who are worried about their own drinking will sabotage your attempts.

I think talking to your Dad will be a big step op. I do get the impression that it's more you not wanting to be honest yet and confront this, rather than not wanting to worry him. Same with not wanting to go to the GP.

You've admitted to yourself and on here it's a problem which is a huge first step. The next step is to seek help from others. You can do this.

You're very brave OP, admitting all this - so that's the first step.

Ignore you're friends - just because they drink similar amounts is irrelevant - they are taking a huge risk with their lives. By you taking this step, you're holding up a mirror to their drinking. True friends will support you and be onside.

Right - you need to change your mindset, you are not losing anything, or giving anything up here - you are reclaiming your life, your health, your happiness. You are worth this.

You're in the dark place of heavy drinking, drowning in it - you say you don't get hangovers - here's the thing lovely, wait until you've been sober for a couple of weeks and look back at how you feel then, and how you were before - you'll have far more energy, your sleep will be restorative and deep - you'll have a spring in your step and (what amazed me) is that the anxiety vanishes.

Right now you're a drinker about to make the leap. You are scared (of course - hell, I was!) Many people quit, can't cope with a couple of roughs weeks - think "well if this is sober, sod it, I was better off before" and drink again. They don't give it long enough to feel better.

Once you feel better, that will keep you motivated, you'll cling onto your sobriety because suddenly life is so much better.

You can do this.

One day at a time.

Just forget about "quitting" or being alcohol free forever.

Every morning say to yourself, "Today, I won't drink."

Then next day, start again.

You've got this - but don't think about what you might lose. Think about what you will definitely, absolutely, gain.

Lean on us.
Soph

I love catherine Gray

Catherine Gray is amazing.
I read her book (devoured) in a couple of sittings and nodded and cringed and identified so much.

She says that when your in the depths, you think there is no further down to go - but there always is.

The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober - OP, if you haven't read it, it is just 99p right now on Kindle. It might, just might, change your life.

A good thing to do is to make yourself a cup of tea or other hot drink at the usual time you’d pour your first wine. Then make sure you also have a glass of water with every alcoholic drink. That way you always have a drink to hand but you’re hopefully reducing the volume. Or try brushing your teeth after your tea/hot choc.

Thanks again everyone for all your positive suggestions. You've all been so kind and nonjudgmental. Greatly appreciated. I will keep you posted on my progress 🤞 xx

I was drinking far more than you. You are leeettle baby compared to me - up to a year ago I was drinking a minimum of half a litre of gin a day, and that was on a quiet day.

What worked for me was audiobooks. I listened to Catherine Gray, and to The Sober Diaries.

And then - and this is the big one - I listened to Allan Carr's Easyway To Stop Drinking. Over a few days, I didn;t rush it. And then I stopped drinking for five months.

I now drink a bit, but FAR LESS than I was drinking before. I wouldn't class myself as an alcoholic now.

Give it a try. It works like hypnosis, so you have to listen to the whole book, and follow his instructions (they are easy).

And, in my experience, don't bother discussing your decision with your friends. As a PP said, they are enablers who also will not like their own drinking habits being put under the spotlight.

I didn't even tell my DH. I just wanted to get on with it, quietly. I certainly didn't tell my friends!

You are right that you are drinking too much but that’s a great starting point. I would suggest cutting down to 1 bottle of wine for a week and then trying to abstain. I think going from 2 bottles a night to none will be very tricky. Dealing with your past trauma will also be a good for your long term healing.

I'm a recovering alcoholic with 27 years of sobriety and an HCP. I really encourage you to get some medical advice as withdrawal symptoms can be dangerous and there are medications that moderate them. You'll also benefit from peer group support as you learn how to live without drinking.

I'm not trying to be a wet blanket here, but your drinking has caused changes in your neurochemistry, as evidenced by your lack of hangovers.

Molecular basis of alcoholism

Addiction is a disease, not a moral failing. Don't let shame keep you from seeking proper help.

Good luck.

BabyBearRus - just don’t replace the wine with spirits! I did this thinking it’s be less calories, I’d only have 2 glasses etc…. Ended up drinking half a litre a day and having to dig myself out of a very deep hole. Annie grace’s 30 days sober experiment really helped me

There's a lot of Quit Lit out there. Lots of people like Annie Grace, although she basically copied Allen Carr.

I personally didn't suffer any withdrawal symptoms, and I'm not sure that everyone would on two bottles a night.

I'd quit if I were you, before your body does.

Oh goodness - thank you to all for all of the amazing advice on here. I literally have an entire bookshelf of Quit-lit books next to my bed - but something clicked in my head earlier on- nothing in the books can help until you're really ready to do it in your own head. I've got one last party tomorrow (and yes, I know that's not a good way to look at it), but then I can see that I really, really don't want to do this any more.

Hello everyone, I thought you might like an update on my progress. So, I'm in my second week of almost no alcohol. I have allowed a Saturday night as my wine night. Hoping this will be further reduced. I've been listening to the hypnosis audios, especially around the time when I would ordinarily start my nightly drinking. I have to say that it's going far better than I expected. Not sure how much that is down to the hypnosis, but nonetheless I find it relaxing and it provides a diversion at that difficult hour in the evening. I did start this journey by cutting down by half a bottle each night. I actually switched to white wine as I found it easier to drink less of this. I even threw half a bottle away as I couldn't stomach anymore of it lol. Anyway, psychologically I feel so much better. And physically I am starting to gain more energy. I actually believe that I may just come through this. Off to the gym next week, and looking forward to losing some weight. 🙏 When I've tried to cut down before I've always done it alongside an impossible diet. This time I'm not putting that pressure on myself and enjoying my food. In reality I'm already reducing my daily calorie intake by 2000 calories (2 bottles of wine and associated snacks). I'll focus on dieting once I've come through this. Oh, and that friend who thought I was mad at wanting to stop drinking has now joined me on the road to sobriety. Wishing all those who are in the same situation the very best of luck. 🤞🤞🤞❤️

That’s amazing progress.

Congrats OP on your progress !
I've been 'thinking about my drinking' for quite a while. I feel horrible I'm off work due to mental health issues and the place I can't stand anyway. I've got the usual stresses of kids housework money bills etc and wine takes the edge off I feel like it's a reward. I think making one night a week wine night is awesome but then I'm
Not sure how I would feel about the cravings the next day! I've been through a miscarriage a few months ago and I feel
Awful, like I literally detest myself, talk to myself horribly everyday and feel like everything is bleak and grey a lot !
I did purchase the alcohol experiment 30 days by Annie grace as I listen to her podcasts a lot but I'm struggling to make it past day one! I would say I drink about 4-5 bottles of wine a week which I think isn't good at all!
Can I ask how I deal with cravings and what hypnosis you are using please ?
Sorry to jump on your thread xx

Elisandra Thank you ❤️

CocoLady I'm sorry that you have had to go through something so awful, and are struggling with your mental health. I have a history of depression and anxiety so understand how dismal you can feel when you are in the darkest place. Like you, I 'rewarded' myself with wine each night, and unfortunately what started as one or two glasses a night turned into two bottles a night. I am still amazed at how I managed to function at all. Are you on antidepressants? I have been for the past few months and feel they may have given me the push to ditch the booze. The reality is that alcohol only makes you feel more depressed and anxious. Even in this short time I feel so much better psychologically and making good progress physically too. As for cravings, some days are worse than others, but somehow I seem to be managing. I also think that the one night a week has made it a bit easier to bear. I have had the occasional alcohol free beer (Beck's) and that has taken the edge off things. I've been listening to the Clear Minds Hypnotherapy audios (there is a single recording and also a more intensive 8 audio course to do over 4 weeks...I'm on the latter). As I said, not sure if it's working but it does seem to relax me and get me past that horrible hour when I'd usually start drinking. I listen to one after the kids have gone to bed and one when I go to bed. Have you tried to drink on alternative nights as a way to reduce your intake? That way you only have to grit your teeth every other day. This could be the starting point and then try to move the goal posts until you're only drinking a couple of nights a week. I remember before I gave up smoking (many moons ago now) whether I would ever not crave a cigarette...and I really haven't missed smoking at all. Hoping that in time I'll have the same attitude towards alcohol. Wishing you all the very best. Hope you manage to find the right road to recovery ❤️🙏

@BabyBearRus
Great news, really well done.

I find total sobriety amazing, but I'm only 7 weeks in, so relatively new to all this. I would find having a night a week to drink counter productive for me, but that's me, and we're all different, and if it's working for you, which it clearly is, then great. Really, you're doing well.

The problem for a lot of quitters (me in the past) is that you keep repeating the same pattern. Accepting that the first couple of weeks are rough, your body is resetting, you're tired, stressed, craving, but riding this out is key. Because then it gets better, much better, and after about a month you really feel the benefits and that is what you're aiming for. I used to give up after a couple of weeks, because I hadn't got through the rough bit to the good bit. As soon as the light appeared at the end of the tunnel, I stopped, went back to drinking and repeated the whole sorry mess. I was stuck in a cycle, all the angst, all the cravings none of the benefits.

Treats - lots of treats. Reward yourself, however small (nice new candle, nice bubbles in your bath rather than a glass ) fancy chocolates...whatever. Spoil yourselves in the first month. Lots of nice AF drinks, new make up...whatever. Just do it. Early nights. Cherish and nurture your new sobriety. Treat it like the most important thing in your life (it is). Then, it gets easier. It becomes normal, your anxiety, self loathing (me I was big on this) vanishes.
And one day at a time. A cliche...but true. Just today. Just don't drink today.

Good like OP and others who are starting on the journey. It's so worth it, but you need to get through the first month so really see what is out there. Keep going. It is so worth it. More than you can imagine.

Soph

Well done!!! I go through stages of not drinking ... like now and feel amazing - but lots of celebrations coming up like family birthdays and feel pressure to consume booze. Need to be stronger and say no.

Just ordered the unexpected joy of being sober. Wishing everyone a terrific Wednesday. Gorgeous sunshine here in Hove