Two bottles of wine a night. Help I think I am an an alcoholic.

[BabyBearRus]

Well, I am typically drinking 2 bottles of wine a night. Am I an alcoholic? I can't seem to last beyond two days before having wine. I have an addictive personality have previously been a smoker). I am seriously thinking about taking up smoking again so as to ditch the alcohol. Advice desperately needed

Are you living alone with your children or is their dad there?

@BabyBearRus

Has anyone had any success with hypnosis!

Hypnosis is great. Look up thomas hall mind body unity Cut down to a bottle and a half. Then a bottle. Xx

Id have a week of cutting down before you abstain

OP, you're drinking way too much, but you know that.

If I was you, I wouldn't just stop, because the withdrawals will be horrendous. I would keep drinking two bottles a night for a week, BUT, would switch them to lower alcohol ones - like 5 or 6% (like Echo Falls level of alcohol). So you're drinking the same volume with less alcohol.
After a week reduce to a bottle and half of it, another week, a bottle of it, then a week of half a bottle, then quit.

The fact that you don't get hangovers is worrying - it means you've developed a high tolerance to the stuff. Don't think because you don't get hangovers you won't get severe withdrawal.

When I drank, I was drinking a bottle a night, with no hangover, but got awful withdrawal from stopping - maybe I should have tapered, but I didn't. I rode it out but the first 4 or 5 days were grim.

You will feel rubbish for a week or two - so far, quitting for a few days isn't working, because you're not seeing the hangover through to the end - it will take a week to clear your body of the booze and start repairing. As soon as you return to drinking again after 3 or 4 days off, you are back to square one, without the benefits of the break.

Good luck
Soph

SophieB100 thanks, I didn’t know this.

Thank you to the latest posters for your helpful information. Greatly appreciated.

You should be able to self refer straight to your local alcohol service, so you wouldn’t need to go through your GP. 2 bottles a night is 126 units - the recommended weekly limit for women is 14. Sounds like it’s definitely at the stage where you would benefit from some support.

celestebellman thanks for the advice. I never knew that you could bypass the GP. I'll certainly look into it.

Also, I just wanted to say that my drinking level doesn't seem to be that unusual amongst my friends and other mums in my DC class. It really does seem to be part of our culture to drink. And many of these are holding down professional jobs in education, business and even in medicine. When I mentioned to my friend that I was looking to give up alcohol, she looked at me aghast and said no way, we all deserve to have a drink as life is so stressful. I do feel that I am in the minority in thinking that two bottles a night (more for some of my friends and associates) is excessive and harmful. Thankfully my DH doesn't drink very much these days, so at least I wouldn't have that pressure.

I get it op. I've been similar.

Do you think you could cut down to 5 bottles a week in week 1, then 3 bottles for week 2?

I knew I absolutely couldn't go cold turkey.

I'm now down to maybe 1-1/ half bottle a night at weekends. None Monday-Friday. It's hard, but better. I don't feel like a foggy ghost in the week now.

I didn't used to drink every single day but I binged 3-4 nights. At least I'm narrowing it down now.

Forget about other people. The amount you are drinking is colossally damaging to your health. Is your husband not worried sick? Is he aware of how much you drink?

I switched from red to white btw, then added ice and soda to the white. It's not completely quitting but it's helped.

Your friends are all enabling one another, two bottles a night is way too much. Good luck x

Using alcohol to cope with the impact of trauma is very common. And I'm sorry you've experienced something that bad. You've had lots of good advice re reducing alcohol consumption. But speaking from experience you need to start treating the trauma. Is that something you could speak to your GP about and/or seek private trauma therapy?

Take care of yourself.

I was in your shoes in 2016. I referred myself to the local drugs and alcohol service - just called them and said I needed help to stop drinking. The support they offered was brilliant and in March this year I celebrated 5 years sober. It hasn’t always been an easy journey but it has been worth it. Alcohol took up so much of my time and energy and in the end after trying cutting down and moderating, I knew I had to stop. I don’t know where I would be if I hadn’t made that decision but I think it was only a matter of time before something went seriously wrong.
Reaching out and admitting you have a problem is a huge step and very brave. You don’t need to do this alone. I would urge you to contact your local service as a first step. Your level of drinking means it could be very dangerous to stop suddenly so you may need a medical detox. You can do this at home under medical supervision - they give you medication to ease withdrawal and keep you safe. There is lots of support out there so you can find what’s best for you - I had a recovery coach, counselling, medication and lots of online support. I can send you some links if you would like. Best Wishes and well done for admitting you have a problem.

CharChat many thanks for the advice. Yes switching from red to white might be the way to go in trying to cut down before committing to complete sobriety. I have even thought about switching to spirits as I don't tend to drink so much of these.

nimbuscloud absolutely my husband is worried sick. He still thinks it's just a bad habit I've got in to. But as I keep on telling him, if it was that easy to quit, then I would have done it by now. Most of our time together (25 years), I have pretty much been teetotal. But not for the last 12 years (probably 7 years of drinking, but not as much as the last several months, as for 5 years during this period, I have been pregnant and breastfeeding). I constantly worry about my health. It doesn't help that I can still function pretty normally every day. This in itself is worrying as I know my body has developed a tolerance for the alcohol (as a previous op helpfully pointed out).

If you're questioning whether it's too much, then it IS too much

If your friends are drinking as much as you, then they are more likely to say that you don’t have a problem, as that would mean they’d have to acknowledge that they too have a problem. If you’re able to stop drinking anything without wanting a drink, or without counting down the days when you can have one, then you’re addicted. It’s all well and good saying you don’t want the GP receptionist knowing your business, but is that a real reason for stopping drinking? Because if you continue as you are, your GP will soon get to know as you’ll start having other health issues linked to alcohol.
Don’t try to look for shortcuts here. Get some actual help from agencies that know what they’re talking about.

Moretimetobefullyvaccinated absolutely, I think I need to distance myself for a while to enable me to take a healthier path.

colouringindoors yes this is a valid point. I am on antidepressants, but I need to confront the past and try to heal. What happened also must have had a devastating impact on my DH too. And I think he is being so tolerant as he knows what I went through.

vxa2 thank you for sharing your experience. Well done. I hope I can soon join you on the same path.

schoolfinder007 and Soontobe60
Yes you are both right.

Dear @BabyBearRus I'm in a very similar situation. I know I'm damaging myself massively, but can't find the way to stop, although I want to. I'm (I think) dealing with the trauma of a massively abusive childhood, with two alcoholic parents, and then an abusive marriage, yet can't stop.

A huge part of the problem is that so many of my friends are huge drinkers (no surprise) and I can't imagine life any other way.

At the same time, I've read enough and been through enough therapy to know that I'm basically blocking everything out, and until I get sober, there's no way past it.

I know there's only one answer - to all of my issues - and it's simple, but still the hardest thing in the world.

I wish you great strength.

@colouringindoors

Using alcohol to cope with the impact of trauma is very common. And I'm sorry you've experienced something that bad. You've had lots of good advice re reducing alcohol consumption. But speaking from experience you need to start treating the trauma. Is that something you could speak to your GP about and/or seek private trauma therapy?

Take care of yourself.

I came on to say this. At the heart of an addiction is trauma. As others have said, quick fixes are not the path here. It will be the hardest work of your life but it will also be the most rewarding. It sounds like you have good support from your DH. And maybe there are things you need to resolve and heal together.Take care x

Forget worrying about being an alcoholic. It's an outdated label. I've never identified as one but I was definitely drinking too much! Harmful levels. If you want a quick fix I thoroughly recommend listening to Craig Beck Alcohol Lied to Me on audible. Its a miracle worker and kind of like hypnosis with its effect on your brain and rewiring your thoughts.
I'm 2 years and 3 months off the grog and happy as Larry! Definitely no sudden stopping though. A tip I have learned is not to try and cut down by not drinking the full two bottles but pour the first glass away. It's much easier than trying to leave the last glass or tip the last one away. You can drink at the same time as listening to your book so no sudden panic at the thought of going booze free.

@Luckingfovely

Dear *@BabyBearRus* I'm in a very similar situation. I know I'm damaging myself massively, but can't find the way to stop, although I want to. I'm (I think) dealing with the trauma of a massively abusive childhood, with two alcoholic parents, and then an abusive marriage, yet can't stop.

A huge part of the problem is that so many of my friends are huge drinkers (no surprise) and I can't imagine life any other way.

At the same time, I've read enough and been through enough therapy to know that I'm basically blocking everything out, and until I get sober, there's no way past it.

I know there's only one answer - to all of my issues - and it's simple, but still the hardest thing in the world.

I wish you great strength.

What courage you have already shown in knowing you are numbing @Luckingfovely. Your awareness is there. You are on the path to recovery already x

Sorry I should have said week 2 you pour two glasses away etc. Also speak to your GP!