It out of sheer desperation and frustration that I'm writing this post because I don't know what else to do.
My husband ( though we are separated) is an alcoholic. Looking back, over the 20 plus years we were married, he always was.
I asked him to leave nearly 2 years ago because I couldn't watch him destroy himself anymore. I couldn't cope with the mood swings, lies and the non existent trust.
We have 2 grown up children, who were eager for us to split because they also couldn't cope with what drink was doing to their father and our lives.
Since he left, I have been in contact with him, mainly because I still love the man. I lived in hope that he would change once he saw what he had lost, ie, his kids and wife but it's just made it worse.
He is now consuming around 350 units of drink a week. I've tried to micro manage him, he's handed over his bank card to me to stop him buying drink, only to take his card when my back is turned to buy more drink then lie about it. I've tried to get help from organisations like the crisis team, recovery group, MIND....the police, the doctors etc etc. I've even tried to get him sectioned when he's wanted to hang himself but he was just dumped in A&E by the police for 10 hours.
My biggest wake up call was when my doctor told me to prepare for the worst as he will die from drinking and probably soon.
Just typing that out kills me.
I'm now on day 5 of no contact with my husband because, what's the point? He's so addicted, I can't watch. He's lost his job, given up on life, refuses to go out, apart from to get drink from the local shop, he's confused, angry, abusive towards me. I'm told constantly he has to want to recover himself, but when someone is that addicted how can they help themselves?
I guess my problem is, how the hell am I to stand back and watch this man die the slowest death ? The pain this is causing me is just unbelievable. As a human, it's my instinct to reach out to anyone in so much pain and try and help so this is going against the grain big time.
Is there nothing I can do? How do people get referred to rehabs? Am I making it worse by just cutting myself off from him now? He will die soon if this carries on much longer and I'm not sure I can cope with the knowledge that I chose to walk away when he needed me most.