Wankerbastards and autumn weather, crunchy leaves, browning heather. We want crisp, cool days and crisp, cool wine, or beer or gin. But only a couple, as we smash moderatin'.

[Frouby]

Thread 8 for Tryers to be Dryers.

Join in for help and support and lots of laughs to reduce alcohol. Whatever you want to achieve with your alcohol intake, whether it's alcoholidays, dry days, less booze in general we are all in the same boat.

More threads floating around but I can't do clicky links. Just look for Wankerbastards and you will find us.

Wow, madame, that's amazing! I managed a cycle/swim today but not those kind of distances. I have managed park run three weeks in a row. Not getting much faster but am less sore so that's good i guess. Also went to science museum with my oldest pal. Funny to think we were dd2's age when we became friends. She's getting married just after Christmas so lots of wedding chat which was nice. I am doing a reading. I need an outfit. And a babysitter.

Sorry to everyone not having the best weekend. NC4 i wouldn't beat yourself up. You've had a brilliant run. Badger, you still sound a bit sad but i am glad you're feeling calmer. Sorry the family arent taking care of you better.

Am done in. Going to watch his dark materials then may hit the sack.

Longest, very impressed at park run and general exercise, I am terrible at exercising.

Badgerblu, well done on resisting wine, 💐 re unhelpful dh and I’m sorry you’re in pain.

Madame, I’m glad your thyroid issue is sorted. The running is so impressive!

Dh turned the boiler off and on again and it’s working but may stop again, so we are warm for now. Still hope plumber comes tomorrow as there’s definitely something wrong with it.

Frouby, enjoy the new tv! We have a huge smart one and I was thinking it was so so, nothing that special- we’ve had it a few years - but recently I got new TV watching glasses at opticians suggestion and OMG, it’s AMAZING! It was my eyesight 😂😂

Lol water I should have just got dh glasses and saved the cash. He wanted a huge on, but I managed to compromise with a 43in which I think is big enough to have on a stand. He wanted a huge big one but I said people generally have the massive ones wall mounted so we could only have a massive one if we put it on the wall, which would mean moving all the furniture around and stuff so I managed to keep it small.

I think I that thing when you can't stand certain sounds, and mine is about TVs, am forever saying 'turn the bloody telly down, can't hear myself think' so the smaller and quieter for me. Cousin tried to give me a sound bar the other month and told her categorically no. 43in is plenty big enough for me 😂😂.

I got a new telly last Christmas. It’s 40” which is plenty big enough for me. It sits nicely on my TV unit in the alcove. My old 32” has gone upstairs. I suppose it’s ancient by TV standards - I bought it in 2008. It’s still fully functional though.

Have now read.

Sorry about the hangover, NC4 - but you have done astoundingly well with AF. You too, Water and Badger. Especially when you are all going through the mill.

I'm in the 'put the Christmas tree up on 24th Dec and take it down again on 26th' camp. But yours is fab, Frouby. Mine, when I can bear to think about it, will have a load of absolute tat on it, accumulated since DS was born. That's the one bit that I like about it (stuff that they made at toddler group, etc).

Still not got round to buying a telly. After not having one for so many years, you sort of forget that they exist. Wish I could do the same with wine and gin.

Now have to catch up with lots of other stuff not done over the weekend. Feeling gloomy and deflated.

Dionysa sorry you’re feeling deflated 💐

Day 22 AF here. I’ve been busy cooking and wrapping Christmas presents.

Our boiler is completely broken - it’s ancient so I’m not surprised - and the plumber can’t fit a new one for 2 weeks. I trust him so would like to use him but otoh that’s a long time without heating. We do have one electric shower so there is hot water in one bathroom and we’ll light fires for warmth but still, I’m not looking forward to it. Dd and I were chatting just now and all the lights went out too, although it had just tripped out so went back on with a flick of a switch in the fuse box. And the internet on the tv isn’t working as a result although I’m sure dh will be able to fix it when he’s home. FGS, back to the dark ages 😂

I feel quite happy though so that’s good!

Meant to say that my ds seems a lot happier so that helps. A LOT!

That's good that DS has picked up a bit. Not good about the boiler though. I've been walking round the house with a hot water bottle tucked into my waistband which is a pretty good keeping warm trick.
In fact I reckon me and Dion could give you a masterclass in surviving without the heating!!
Have you got any plug in heaters or electric blankets?

I've got a hideous spot on my chin, which is penance for getting shitfaced at the weekend.
YouTube has just sent me a notification for an 'Eyeliner for mature eyes tutorial' which just about sums me up. FML.

NC4, you make me laugh. One of my DC decided to put the heating on ALL NIGHT (he did it after I had gone to bed, the sod).

Water, that is very good news about your DS.

Not AF, due to chronic pain in every single joint which has suddenly flared up with a vengeance, after behaving reasonably well for a while (I have probably done too much recently). I have spent most of the day struggling to move, and waiting until the clock said it was ok to open some wine.

I have been doing the 'hot water bottle in the waistband' thing too, NC4. Fortunately being peri-menopausal means I rather welcome the cold, and have the windows open most of the time as well.

Sorry to all those feeling cold. We didn't have central heating when I was little - we just sat really close to the gas fire and had hot water bottles when we went to bed. But that feels a long time ago. Big fleecy dressing gown and slipper boots helps, as does an early night watching telly under the duvet.

My telly is tiny. In fact DM gave me her old one last Christmas and it's been sitting in the corner of the living room ever since. Should probably get it set up, though I am not bothered really. Tend to watch things on the laptop mainly.

DD2 was sick at school, boo. She seems OK really but can't go in tomorrow. Luckily was meant to be wfh anyway.

Have been thinking ahead to next year. Dh and I turn 40, as do many of our friends, so trying to sort out some sort of joint bash. Have also booked a sea sailing experience thing for me and another turning-40 friend to do together which involves a night away. Already have festival tickets and an invitation up to Scotland so quite a bit to look forward to.

Have roped MIL into coming back with us on Boxing Day to babysit for friend's wedding.

Thanks for the heating tips! I have socks and slippers on, a hot water bottle on my lap, a blanket over me and a real fire. My bed has a goose down duvet and a thick faux fur throw.

Longest, those plans sound lovely 🙂

Ooh sounds cosy Water! And an excuse not to move from the sofa.

Ooh have remembered another wedding invitation for next August bank holiday, which is in my home town so will combine it with a weekend to visit DM and maybe a few days in the Lakes or North Wales or something. And dsis and dcousin suggested booking out some adventure hut things for back to basics camping.

Sailing thing was a bargain - £20 for full day sailing and £30 for a premier inn room, so was able to treat my pal who is in a bit of a tight spot. Civil Service Sports Club for the win! Plus will have to be a moderate evening as can't go sailing hungover.

longest you have some lovely plans lined up, lots to look forward to. I bizarrely don't like having plans, I hate looking at the calendar and seeing things booked in, even if they are nice things. Think I am a bit odd, it's the organising everything leading up to whatever it is that I don't like.

For those trying to keep warm wear thermals at home. They make a huge difference, even more so with thick socks or a 2 pairs. Fingerless gloves are good too, and as bonkers as you may look, wear a wooley hat as well. Foil wrapped around cardboard behind any working radiators. Thick curtains closed as soon as it's dusk at every window and door curtains with sausages as well.

Old house was a big, old Victorian terrace with absolutely no insulation anywhere. We got very good at keeping warm. Just 1 extra layer on beds over your quilt also traps the warmth in, even if it's just a sheet.

Glad ds is feeling better water. Is he coming home for Christmas?

Been mega busy all day. Been to ponies, fed chooks, did a bit of a tesco shop, did some invoicing and started my VAT return. Bloody thing used to take me about 20 mins, now we have all gone over to digital cos HMRC says we have to, it takes hours. Bloody QuickBooks is a lie.

Then picked ds up, blitzed the house, cleaned my tack with ds 'helping', fed the dcs and me and dh had steak. Wasn't dry, was too flustered and stressed to be dry. Only had 2 cans of lager though so not horrendous but feel slightly guilty now. Sigh.

Am going to wash pots, tidy kitchen and go up and read for an hour.

God, Frouby, don't feel guilty about two cans of lager.

I've lost track, and my pain levels have still not decreased. FML.

Sorry about DD2, Longest. Your plans sound good, though. I can't believe you're not yet 40. I'm nearer 50. FML again.

I may not have a TV, but I do have an open fire. Also a 200 yr old house, which means that I essentially get my way about the lack of heating, whatever the DC do to the thermostat, because it's perennially draughty. Plus I am the only one who might be here during the day, so I can happily resort to a cardy and a hot water bottle, if it gets really cold (would have to be about minus 5 for me to realise this, but it does happen). I can also play the piano while wearing fingerless gloves, so that is all good.

Oh Dion, i am so sorry about the pain. Sounds awful. I do love the thought of you playing the piano in your 200 year old house. I am learning the piano but am barely grade 1 level. And my house could be nice but is falling apart. Need to get ot sorted but is just another list of jobs to sort and i cba. Will have to though. New year's resolution.

Don't worry, Longest. I play the piano to shut my mind off to the chaos of my life and the ancient house (which really is falling apart. It drives the DC completely mad. We also have different tastes. Theirs are modern and minimalist. Mine are not).

Ha! I love that Dion. I wish I could play the piano. It would drive the boys nuts, and be revenge for the bloke next door who’s always shouting at his kids. They probably say the same about my daily ‘IT’S EIGHT O’CLOCK. I’M NOT RAKING YOU IF YOU MISS THE BUS!!’ routine.

My 110 year old house is practically a new build compared to yours though.

Longest your plans sound great. I must make some plans for next year. I’ve drifted quite a bit this year, which I think is probably ok for a first year post-divorce/house move/quitting job kind of a year. And I’ve not done badly really. Considering I’m permanently skint, sheer luck has allowed me to leave the country twice in 2019.
But I would like a bit more focus in 2020.

I’m fairly certain I am not perimenopausal, given that I’m always flipping freezing, and am still getting zits like a teenager. YouTube can fuck off with its eyeliner tutorials ‘for mature eyes’.

How’s everyone doing with their Christmas plans? I’ve decided I’ll host for my mum and brother’s family, so 7 of us. That’s quite do-able.
I’m not sure how Xmas eve will play out yet. We usually have a buffet, me and the boys, and it’s super cosy but it’s Miss P-T’s 18th so DS isn’t sure what the plans are yet.
I’ve started shopping, but not wrapped anything yet. Mustn’t forget to get myself a few bits. Last year was a bit crap 🎻 😂

NC4, pmsl at YouTube offering you mature make up tutorials 😂. Yes, buy yourself nice things! Ahhhh at Miss PT’s 18th. It sounds like you’ve done really well the past year, post everything.

I’m more or less ready for Christmas, have finished shopping and wrapped most presents today, I’m just saving the children’s as dh can help me with wrapping those. There are only 5 of us on Christmas Day so all very low key and only one extra (lovely) guest for boxing day. Which is nice, it won’t be hard work. So I just need to amend my food shop and do some cooking in advance nearer the time.

Our house is also draughty, uninsulated and very old but we love it. I often say “it’s stood here for all these years, I’m sure it’ll be ok after storm” - probably famous last words and massively tempting fate...

Dionysa, my children hanker for a modern, warm house too. me too whenever something expensive goes wrong!

I've got a plumber coming to look at the toilet tomorrow/today. I've been ignoring the noise it makes for months, but it's getting louder and louder.
Then I need to decide whether to paint the kitchen before Christmas. I'm tempted TBH.
The joys of home ownership, eh?

NC4, yes the glamour is killing me! 😂

Day 23 AF here. And 143 AF days so far in the year, which is over 4 months if it was collated but since we are 11 months into 2019 I’m not going to be too smug about it as that’s still 7 months not AF.

I have just had shopping delivered and there is now cold dry white wine in the house. But it’s for the weekend so I will pretend it’s not there for now. Realised last night that I’m not completely sure I want to drink again. But realised that’s not quite it, I just don’t want to drink again for the wrong reasons, eg to avoid difficult situations or emotions. So my plan is night out with dh on Friday, drink but do not want a hangover on Saturday so be reasonably sensible; drink Saturday as we are away and out for dinner and then go AF again Sunday to Thursday next week.

Ugh that's exactly what i need to do NC4. Paint the kitchen, and the living room and the hall and the downstairs loo and all the doors, replace the rotten plinths in the kutchen, fix the shower cubicle, sand the floors, repair the curtains, agh. I'd happily hand over money just to get it sorted but sourcing the right people for the jobs is nearly as much aggro as doing it myself.

Pain, plumbers who didn't show up, election, DP, etc... am not dry. Oh well.

NC4, the first year post divorce is absolutely horrendous. It does get better (though in my case, evidently not well enough to keep me off the wine). You have done more and are stronger than I was in that first year. I was completely floored by it. You have sorted out your house and yard, you've managed to work, and you are being the most brilliant mum to your DSs, even when they are challenging. I'm glad Miss P-T is still on the scene!!

I am resolutely not thinking about Christmas.