Wankerbastards and autumn weather, crunchy leaves, browning heather. We want crisp, cool days and crisp, cool wine, or beer or gin. But only a couple, as we smash moderatin'.

[Frouby]

Thread 8 for Tryers to be Dryers.

Join in for help and support and lots of laughs to reduce alcohol. Whatever you want to achieve with your alcohol intake, whether it's alcoholidays, dry days, less booze in general we are all in the same boat.

More threads floating around but I can't do clicky links. Just look for Wankerbastards and you will find us.

Flossie longest
The reveal came after dinner and wine, Ud always wondered if my dad had cheated on my mum before his current GF, so asked him. He said yes once, I asked if it was with his friend and teaching colleague at the time and he said yes. But only a one shut, she had one severely disabled daughter and wanted another baby. Her vile husband, who she was in the process of divorcing had an illness which made him sterile so my dad took on the toke of sperm donor nothing more. He sees my dad from time to time but as far as I'm aware has no idea that he is his father. I have no feelings one way or another, other that I'm glad his mother had another child as the daughter died aged 10 and she had suffered terrible abuse from her horrible ex husband. I think my brother would find it much harder to cope with as he has never really aporeciated my dad's GF whilst he still lives happily with DM. Life is funny sometimes, not everything works out as it should and things aren't always done by the rules but if people are happy that's the most important thing.

You’re having a bad run aren’t you Longest? I’ve got a lurgy which started the day before my holiday. Obviously late nights, early mornings, loads of drinking and a bit of smoking, has compounded the situation. I’m over the worst though.

Yes, I wondered about that Madame. There’s a similar situation in my family but it’s a bit of a secret as there’s never been any contact between the father and child. It’s must be strange.
Did that happen to you Flossie? Have you gone on to meet them?

I’ve got red wine. Back on it tomorrow but I’m eking out my holiday.

Families are strange aren’t they? You sound philosophical about it Madame, which is admirable.

Longest, hope you feel better soon. At least you were AF!

Nc4 hope you feel better soon too. Smoking! I nearly smoked on Saturday but I’m so glad I didn’t- it’s about 17 years since I stopped so it would have been a very bad idea indeed. I was tempted as ds and his mate were smoking in our garden and we’d been out for dinner so I’d been drinking. Fgs at myself!

Flossie, lol at pouring into your glass instead of the pan.

X-posted Madame. Wow, that’s quite a story! Your dad sounds almost altruistic. And you seem to have taken it exceptionally well. Were you surprised?
Water smoking was very hard to resist. I only stopped last year and I’m the only one in our group of four that doesn’t smoke. It’s quite annoying. We go to some lovely bars and restaurants and always have to sit outside.
One of the women’s mums (the one who fell out with me) is very sick with lung cancer but it hasn’t stopped them. So being around smoking all weekend, with lowered resistance through booze it was almost inevitable. It’s grim though and I’m confident I won’t go back to it.

NC smoking is really hard to completely ever give up. I stopped 6 years ago when I was pg and I still get the odd urge. It is vile though, everything about a smoker stinks.

Took ds riding this morning and he's now being an absolute brat. Sigh. He's been 1 to 1 with me, then has to share my attention with dd and he can't cope with it. Pissing off shortly and leaving them to it to do an aldi big shop. Then got to get a couple of hours work done, feed chooks, clean Guinea pigs out, hoover round. Blah, blah fucking blah.

Love the school holidays and always start off really optimistic that I will get loads done cos don't have the school run to do. The reality is it takes so much longer to just get out of the fucking house I might as well be running up to school and back twice a day. At least I get a few hours peace then.

I smoked on and off for years, but was never really a big smoker, hated the taste and smell but it kept the weight down. The last time I stopped smoking I read Allen Carr, started running and have never had the slightest desire to re-start. I just wish giving up red wine was as easy!

Been lurking for a while now but I really need to take the plunge. I can't even remember the last time I had a dry night.

Smoking has never appealed to me, probably due to having asthma. But I’ve often wondered which is worse for the body - smoking or drinking, in terms of damage done. What do you reckon?

Hoping for dry tonight. In fact not bought any wine so have a dry fridge!! I have gin in the house but I really feel dreadfully hungover today so am hoping I can remain strong. Bough dh beer as he’s text that he’s having a bad day!! I may have to crawl under a stone in order to escape temptation!!

I've been away for a few days on hols and haven't had any booze cravings... I'm amazed as I have great difficulty abstaining when I am home...

I'm not very happy in my marriage (no affection from kind but disinterested husband ) and I am away alone... I think that must be linked to my drinking

Welcome cider and welcome back fish. Wow, that's quite a realisation Fish. Sending hugs.

Mme, wowsers re your dad and friend. I agree that unconventional doesn't necessarily mean bad, but there is potential for hurt there so here if you have a wobble.

Going in slightly reluctantly for AF day 3. Feel better than yesterday but weirdly dh now has the exact same symptoms, which is strange as didn't feel like anything contagious. Knackered anyway after work plus Halloween baking and guy making with girls.

How you feeling longest? Hope you and dh on the mend. It’s always horrid when you come home after your hols to wet, soggy, dark Britain. How did pumpkin and guy making go? I’m on pumpkin duty later.

Dion - how’s the injury? And how’s half term going? I hope they’re looking after you.

Fish - that must be hard to acknowledge. Will you act on your feelings and realisation?sending hugs?

Madame - I’ve been thinking of you and your half brother situation a lot. Will you meet him? That must’ve been a shock. Was your father very open, it must’ve been difficult for him to open up too after all these years. Sometimes it’s easier to keep things as they are, so that was fairly brave of him.

I did Day 2 yest. Very chuffed with myself. Was af Sunday and Tuesday. Going to try for today too. It’s deffo the habit for me. I cook, I drink!! Sunday we went out so I was af. And yesterday, dh had eaten a huge steak out at lunchtime on a business lunch so wasn’t hungry. And I’d picked when I fed the dd’s, so wasn’t overly hungry. That said, I usually manage to force a huge meal down as well, as that facilitates wine for me!! But I made the choice not to last night. Not for the sake of it/wine!! So we had toast and a cuppa and were both happy with that.
He’s got another lunch today so I’m hoping for similar!! I’m going to cook myself a stir fry for lunch, and then opt for something v small this eve that I wouldn’t normally drink wine with!!
Pretty sad I have to think and plan this in detail at 7:30am!!!!!

Planning is good Flossie. I plan my week around food, activities and alcohol 😂. I wasn't dry last night, had 3.5 cans of lager. Was a very stressy day and was so desperate for a drink I started before dh got home.

Am as busy today. Got 2 giant pumkins to carve with ds, have to get laptop out and do some work, want to nip over to my mums, prescriptions to pick up, chooks, dog walk, ds wants to ride but don't think we will have time, and ds swimming lesson later. Fml.

Had a shit sleep as well due to beer. Dh got up for work at 4.20am and I couldn't get back to sleep to got up about 6am. Have already cleaned kitchen, done some washing, had a coffee with my cousin and tidied living room.

Well done on your 3 days AF Longest and Fish

Flossie well done on Day 2 and thanks for thinking of me and my half brother situation! I'm not sure my dad would have said anything if I hadn't asked him directly (and wine hadn't been drunk!) if he had ever cheated on my mother before his current GF, then when he said yes I asked if he had any children as per Boris, more as a joke than anything. TBH it doesn't mean anything to me, I'm happy that my dad was able to help because the woman in question had a horrible life with her abusive husband and severely disabled daughter. Maybe when my dad is no longer around I'll see her, but it is really for the mother to speak to her son and after that see what happens.
I think it was probably quite a relief for my dad to open up to me. My mother and brother don't, and will never know.
What happened with your situation?
Not AF, no teaching this week just gite work so sort of on holiday.
We signed for our other house(s) last night, so we had wine of course to celebrate. No rush to move in yet. Although it's habitable the roof needs to be re-done and we can stay in my house for the next few months before renting it out next summer.

Congratulations on the house Madame! Cause for celebration indeed.

Am feeling better thanks Flossie. Don't know what it was - some weird virus i guess.

.Good day at work. Deadlines have suddenly collapsed fue to election so was able to have lunch with friend and then attend book group discussion thing with the author of the class ceiling, which is a book about social mobility. He's studying social mobility in the civil service so was really interesting.

Quite fancy wine tonight but tbh if i analyse it properly i just fancy something other than housework and telly. Could go for a swim but is not very sociable. AF evenings have been a bit dull but bed and getting up feeling rested have been nice.

Af again. Day 3 this week. Wtf!!!!!!! I don’t think I’ve EVER done that!!

Flossie that’s incredible!!!! Go you!!!
I’m on day zero, for the week. My god, I’ve been a human dustbin today. Chocolate, wine, toast, crisps, popcorn, a Tunnocks tea cake.... I think I might be hormonal.
Either that or I’m feeding the lurgy. I’ve done naff all work either, but have updated my CV and seen a few jobs I might like. Well, tolerate. One is part time which is very appealing, if I can make the numbers stack up...

Woo Flossie, go you! Not AF and heading into the overdoing it territory. Will channel you and stick kettle on

I may have been AF, but seriously eating utter crap!! I relate good food to wine. And I love good food!! I always eat well, I’m a vegetarian and always eat wholesome meals.....until now 😂😂. So the only way to stop the wine, is to eat crap. To me, eating crap, goes with a mug of builders tea. So last night I had a veggie sausage and friend egg bap with a mug of tea for my dinner 😂😂😂😂

Fried! Not friend!! That egg was NOT my friend!! 😂

3 days though Flossie that's amazing! And a veggie sausage and egg bap is practically a wholesome food. You got veg, protein and carbs, it's very balanced really 😁.

I wasn't dry, 2 cans but it's moderate if nothing else. Also ate crap, burgers and onion rings. Trying to empty my freezer before I start picking bits up for Christmas.

Got one more massive pumpkin to carve this morning, then ds wants to put Halloween decs up ffs. Am not sure what we have, need to rummage in the shed. Then got a fuckton of work to do, but luckily ds off out to my cousins for a couple of hours to play fortnight with her on her games console. Cos I am a mean mummy and won't let him have it or a fixed games console 🙈. This half term has gone so quickly. Could do with another week!

Aiming for dry tonight, off out trick or treating so that should cover the danger hours.

Pumkins both done thank fook.

Omg frouby . They’re awesome!! And ds is such a cutie!!

Well I’ve failed as a mother. Went to buy a pumpkin this morning and there’s none left ANYWHERE!!!!! So have had to buy a plastic crappy light up one which is totally against what I’d normally do!! Plus a box of Halloween craft crap..which again is totally not what I’d normally do!! Fml

Flossie I have a friend who carved melons instead. It’s a bit late now though.
DS2 is vehemently against Halloween this year, so we’re ignoring it. I did get sent out to knock a door for work and they answered with a bucket of sweets. Their faces when I explained I was actually a journo looking for the previous tenant 😂

The kids' pictures of their Pokémon pumpkins. They love Halloween so much. To be fair trick or treating was fun. Everyone lives 5 mins walk from school so they bump into all their friends and some houses are incredible. They have buckets full of sweets to work through.

Awesome pumkins longest. Was fab round our way as well. It's a new posh estate we live on (we aren't posh tho, we're in the HA/affordable housing bit stuck on the end 😂😂) and Halloween is taken very seriously here. Very much keeping up woth Jones's decorations going on. One house goes all out every year. They were a haunted pumpkin farm this year, both adults in full scarecrow costumes, loads of props and decorations. It's fab!

Wasn't dry, couple of beers when we got home. Was Halloween though so not worried.

Been to yard this morning, was just planning on dropping livery money off but ds threw a wobbler to ride so ended up bringing his pony in and riding for a bit. Just fed chooks, gonna have this coffee, hoover round and mop kitchen floor then do some work for a couple of hours. Won't be dry cos Friday. But will try and be moderate.