Less booze. More AF days. But still a bit damp. Not dry jan, but not a soggy summer. Support thread for reducing alcohol.

[Frouby]

New thread in case the other fills up while I am busy this weekend.

Did I mention I get married tomorrow? 😁

Rubbish at clicky links but sure someone clever will be along to link the last thread.

This is a support thread for those wanting to reduce the amount you drink. There is no judgement on here. We are all struggling along with our own problems and lives and looking to cut down. You might only want a couple of weekends off. Or reduce the amount of days you drink. Or the amount you drink. Or both.

Whatever your starting point and whatever your goal come and join us for friendly chat and support.

Oh no, Woosey!!! I had hoped it might... I am going to bed, as that will make the rest of the evening go away...

Morning all.

Wasnt dry after all the drama tuesday night. Sigh. Phonecall from yard owner at 5pm saying all was fine. She had been for a walk around the area where the fire was and all well and truely out now.

So had 2 g and ts to celebrate. Fml.

But it was gin and not lager. And 2 not 3 or 4. So better I suppose.

Been really brave this morning and got on BabyPony all by myself. Which is a bit of a Big Thing for BabyPonies. And a Big Thing for fat,40 year old unfit people who are getting on BabyPonies who may or may not be able to cope without the moral support of someone next to them.

Am really chuffed. Didnt go far but we did it!

Dcs break up today. Dd away with my mum for the weekend this weekend then nearly 7 weeks of bickering, moaning, whining and ds will be feral in a week.

Of course I won't be turning to drink. Definetly not.

Frouby, 2 G&Ts is, as you say, much better than 3 or 4. Or more, as has been known in my case.

Great news about Baby Pony. And you!!

Bad news about DC breaking up today, though. Mine have been off for a while already, and it feels like about 400 years. They are already feral. How I am supposed to get through this sober, goodness only knows.

DP has upset me. Wet here.

Dion - what’s happened?

Frouby - wahoo re baby pony. Fab for self esteem. And also great you moderated so well.

Dh away. Deffo not much moderating going on here. Obviously still in a fml place with dd being poorly. Then a neighbour approached me tonight and said she’d be there for me etc. Made me realise how shit things really are. So came home and opened the bottle. Fml

Woosey... many hugs to you.

Things already tricky with DP as his DS is staying with him for an indefinite period. Fine, but DP hasn't told his DS about us, so I am having to steer very clear (all unspoken, obvs). His DS thinks we are just friends, as that's what sodding DP told him. FML.

Secondly, DP has just told me he is going on holiday with his DC2 and other friends. The day before my birthday ("Oh, yeah, but you'll have your DC2 for company, won't you?" Yes, I sodding will, if she isn't doing something more interesting, but it's hardly the same). I am broken hearted.

Wow Dion...there’s every reason there for you to be wet. I couldn’t imagine anyone being able to be af with that on their plate!! That’s mega tough on you. Does dp know he’s hurting you?? Sounds silly question but I really wonder if he actually realises what a dick he’s being?? You really are worth more. I only know you from this thread..but from that I’ve learnt what a caring loving person you are. And also how much he’s shitting on you!! Would he be affected if you went awol for a time while he took time to grow up? Or is he the type not to even realise this could be him being a dick, and not someone else?!
Sending love hugs and strength. You know you’re better than this. But I feel you lack the confidence to stand up for yourself. Believe in yourself and know that you really do deserve better. Xx

Dion I'm so sorry - is there anything you can do for yourself as a treat? Can you take a holiday with friends or DD? I know it isn't easy when you feel down, but you need to start thinking of yourself. You can't rely on someone else for your happiness, start being more selfish and unavailable to DP, see how he likes it
I've been dry all week, oops no, I had a small glass of roséMr when I went to dinner with an ex (in fact Mr Charming Bastard). We are actually friends now despite what I went through, and it was nice to talk about why things happened as they did. He is on his own now, I'm in love with Mr Perfect so what goes around etc.
Mr P is on holiday with friends and his daughter all summer although he is coming back for a few days beginning of August. I was going to end it all before he went away but he managed to find time to see me and there are certainly strong feelings on both sides (he told me first) but the next few weeks will be hard. He didn't actually want to meet anyone before September because he knew he was very busy, I can understand that but the summer will be long! But I have my DC, my sport and my friends and lots of work in the garden and gites so enough to keep me occupied.
Frouby Woosey good luck with the school holidays too, mine have 8 weeks so I'm already 25% through them.
Did anyone see the Ch4 documentary Wed on How to live Longer? The trial on a month AF for women who drank a little, who drank more and who drank lots?

Anglaise. I watched the live well longer and am left so confused. In the last 26 days I’ve fallen off the wagon 3 times. That was last weekend and I’m really disappointed with myself so I won’t be doing it again this weekend. On the plus - in that time I’d normally have had about 17 (ashamed) more bottles, as would dh so that’s 34 bottles less! That has to be a good thing doesn’t it? At the end of the program they said all the benefits of a months abstinence but also said as soon as you drink again the Benefits are out of the window. What I can’t find any information on and really need to hear about for the sake of continuing is are there decent benefits from significantly cutting down as I have or should it be all or nothing? I’m happy to continue as I have been doing and am feeling so much better but I do want to still have a blow out occasionally but where can I find out if this undoes all the good work? Obviously my bank account should be better (but isn’t as I’ve been shopping instead! lol!) but any ideas where I can find information re decreasing significantly rather than a complete stop?

Also do you think, has anybody here when significantly cutting back, that I should have a doctor check up? My blood pressure has always been considered on the very low side and recently (the last week maybe) I’ve noticed my circulation seems terrible (never good) - do you think this could be linked to blood pressure dropping and needs checking or can it only be a good thing? Sorry to keep asking - don’t want rl advice and would defo have to fake a reason for asking dr to check as there is no way I’m admitting the truth...

Actually I suppose that no alcohol is better than some but providing you stay withing the Government recommended limits I don't think you are doing yourself any harm. I thought it was interesting that the group who drank on average 28 units a week saw fewer benefits of going AF than those who drank 14 units a week. I have check ups and blood tests twice a year for my sport and my blood pressure hasn't gone up or down, it has always been normal. It wouldn't hurt to get it checked if you think there is a problem.
I stick to the French recommended weekly limit of 10 units rather than the UK one of 14 for women. As they said on the programme women are more at risk than men because they absorb 30% more alcohol due the the higher body fat ration.

Hello all,

Another very wet night last night, to my shame. I need to get a grip. I have had 20 units this week, thus far, so really must not have any more. Still trying to get my mind round DP. The thing is, I'm not in the slightest bit bothered about birthdays, really. If he were a bit more upfront about our very long-term relationship, I'd be happily waving him off. I think it's the context that makes all the difference.

Anglaise, your Mr P sounds lovely. You will miss him, I am sure, but you sound very sane about it all. And thanks for reminding me that I am also 25% of the way through the school holidays!!! That cheered me up no end...

Actually, I had wondered the same. And I know you are cross with yourself for having fallen off the wagon, but 34 bottles less than you would normally have had is a massive achievement. I think there have to be health benefits to cutting down, though I'll watch the programme that Anglaise recommended.

Woosey, thank you, thank you, thank you for your lovely words. They mean a lot. xx

Dion massive, massive hugs. Use this enforced break to really assess what you actually get from this relationship. What benefit do you actually get? Why must your relationship be so secret? Spend the summer mentally single. Pause him, tell him you are using this time to think. Hos reaction will tell you what you need to know.

woosey how is your dd? Mine is away at the moment. I don't want to say the house is more peaceful but it is.

Anglaise Mr P sounds gorgeous. Am weljel. Apart from the bumsex thing. You sound like the kind of grown up I want to be when I am a proper grown up.

Dampish all week here. But moderation is alive and well. A couple of G and Ts each night until last night. 2 cans of lager and 3 halves of lager last night from 4pm until 8pm which is good for me when we go out.

Just finishing off the half bottle of wine from last weekend. Angalise was right it does save lol. Had 2 small glasses and its gone. Have another in the fridge. Will probably have 1 or 2 more small glasses then I am done.

Am absolutely knackered. Been up at 5am every day for the last 2 weeks. It's my lie in tomorrow and DH is cooking tonight. Am intending on staying in bed until at least 9am which is a massive lie in for me!

Dion that’s major moderation, well done. Do you feel more in control? Enjoy Dh cooking and subsequent lie in. Sound bliss. My Dh has been away for 3 days and no on way home.
Last night I had a girls night at mine. Was lovely. No idea how much I drunk though as didn’t count and was topping glasses when not empty so lost count!!
Tonight Dh coming home so prob have a glass with him. Then tomorrow we’ve got a leaving party picnic on the beach. Lots of booze for sure!! Jeeez it’s hard when things are socially busy!!

Frouby - you asked how my dd is. She’s ok at the min. But is a bit like a ticking time bomb of anaphylaxis. It happens a lot this time of year sadly.
Ds (21) is home currently and being an abusive dick, telling me how useless I am etc.
And then there’s dd1 (12) who’s just a delight.

I totally get it tho..If they go away it seems sooooo quiet!!

Frouby yes wine doesn't go off that quickly well done for putting a cork in it!dion I hope you are OK
Woosey how was the beach picnic it sounds wonderful am v jealous
How is everyone doing this weekend ? I'm moderating as normal, no change there. Did first ever triathlon this morning, just a little one and as expected the swimming was by far the hardest, it was in a lake and I was really bad, couldn't even manage the crawl which I do all the time in the pool. Cycling was good and the 5k run I caught up a little thank goodness. I'm not used to coming near the bottom in races but I won't be drowning my sorrows it was good fun. Well at least once I got out of the water 😂

Moderating here too.

3 small (approx 125ml) of wine saturday, 2 small glasses yesterday while cooking. Because it was far to warm to be roasting a bloody chicken but we have loads of veg to use so braved the oven.

First official day of school holidays. Obviously ds bounced out of bed at 7am. Sigh. Big housework day, then picking dd up from my mams after her weekend away.

Possibly AF but definitely no lager and no more than 2 drinks. Have just over half a bottle of wine which I now know will be ok while next weekend so will have a g and t if anything.

Bought a bottle of lemonade and it’s chilling, in the hope it’s a ‘nice drink’ that can stop me reaching for an ice cold Pinot!!!!!!!

Ffs.
Had an afternoon of abuse from ds (not so much d!) who as basically persecuted my character. How can kids do that?! I’ve raised him into a privileged lifestyle, he’s wanted for nothing, he’s being put through uni and basically doing bugger all!! He’s got a job that does 10hrs a week and thinks that’s enough. Then he turns to me and rips me apart!!
Been for a run to de stress. Has helped. But god do I want a wine!!!!!! 😩😩

Woosey, I could have written your last post, sadly. I did not moderate at the weekend (which was hideous - due last night to DS. He is contrite today, though I have heard it all before). Then had wine for lunch today as I went out with a friend I haven't seen for about 15 years. So water this evening. I do think it is dawning on me, very gradually, that I have to sort myself out in every possible way. I read a thing in the Guardian this morning (via the Soberistas website) about pancreatitis (had never heard of it before), which is horrendous. So now I am afraid of getting that as well. FML a thousand times over.

Frouby, it sounds as if you are doing very well on the moderation front. I was going to cook a chicken at the weekend, but bought a M&S cold one instead. What is going on with the ponies?

Anglaise, as always, you are an inspiration.

I have had the day from hell too.

Scrubbed my fabric sofas this morning. Was dripping with sweat afterwards. And I mean wipe my face and neck with kitchen roll multiple times. It was gross.

Then collected dd from my mums. They have been away for the weekend. Dd has quite bad sunburn on her legs. She is 14 so old.enough to be responsible for her own suncream but there were 3 adults there so a bit pissed off.

Especially considering we have been abroad probably 20 times since she was 2 including a fortnight in Tenerife in august amd never even got her tanned. And especially considering the amount of lectures I have had from my mum on not letting her burn because she is fair and half scottish.

Then ds has been an absolute little twat all afternoon. Culminating in him tipping a watering can full of water over my head this afternoon at the allotment while Inwas on a work call.

I am sure one day it will be funny.

I had finished the half bottle of wine by 5pm and now on my 2nd gin. And I am not even sorry. Especially as ds punishment is no tablet for 2 days which will hurt me more than him.

Fml. Fuck school holidays. Fuck moderation.

Frouby, Oh God, the punishing yourself thing. Urghhhhh. The only thing worse is sodding XH who used to emerge from his cave to impose the most ridiculous, OTT punishments on the DC - only they were in fact punishing me, as I was the one who was with them all the time.

And fuck school holidays, too.

My day got worse...dd had anaphylaxis as I walked back in from a run. Gave her adrenaline and waited for ambulance. Now currently in hosp and dry!! Least my liver is thankful!!

for you, Woosey. How is your DD now?? xx

Bloody hell woosey, you don't seem to be getting a break atm. It must be very stressful for you and your dd.

Just off to plotment to feed and water the chooks then I quite fancy a nan nap.is ds will oblige. Am tempted to let him have his.tablet for an hour.just so I can restmy eyes. Didnt sleep well last night and up at 5am for work this morning. Managed about 5.hours before ds started getting a bit restless so did well really but am knackered now. Also been mums cabs, done some housework, been shopping and now off to allotment.