Not dry january. But less booze in general. Anyone else?

[Frouby]

I am posting this thread because I really want to reduce the amount of alcohol I drink.

I was going to do dry January but think that is too much for me. And when I do drink again I will revert back to bad habits.

On a normal week I would have 1 or 2 g and ts mon to thurs. Bottle of wine on a friday. Then either a couple of beers or a couple of g and ts on a Saturday night. Nothing on sunday.

Over Christmas (which started for us mid December as we had a holiday) I have drank every day. Never been drunk drunk but 4 or 5 drinks every day.

I feel fat, bloated and lethargic. I want to cut my drinking down to a couple of nights a week. Friday and Saturday. Or thursday and friday. DP also drinks most days (more than me too) and we both need to address our relationship with alcohol.

I didn't drink last night and won't tonight either. And I feel 100% better already. We get married in May and I want to lose weight and improve my health.

Does anyone else want to join this thread for support? I know there is the dry January thread but I will be drinking (probably) 2 days a week so dont want to post on there and knock any penguins off the ice.

Currently drinking ginger ale with loads of ice and contemplating a shower and a cupp of tea later with the last of the Christmas cake (diet starts tomorrow) 😁

I think you have to do what feels achievable, especially in the beginning. If you wouldn't normally do 2 days AF then doing 2 is an achievement.

I have no social life to speak of! So don't have to make those decisions 😂 However having no social life is what probably got me drinking every night instead of just on social occasions or weekends.

Before we had ds we went out most weekends. We had dd but she went to her dads every other weekend. Then we used to take her out with us and meet friends in pubs in an afternoon for something to eat and a few beers. DP used to call to the pub in the way home from work if he fancied a beer.

Then when we did our old garden up we started sitting out in the summer for a couple of beers. Because it was much cheaper than the pub. We had ds and I was ebfing so AF for about 18 months. Then when he started sleeping better I started having a couple with dp a few days a week. And it sort of crept up on me.

I remember last year dd had a school concert and needed picking up quite late. I was annoyed as it meant I couldn't drink. So decided to do dry January to prove I didn't have a problem. But found it so difficult.

Have been trying to do a few nights a week AF but failing most days. So decided that I needed to get a grip and do dryer January and beyond.

It would be easy to fall back into drinking most days again though.

Hi I read this thread but haven't contributed much . I've been moderating for 6 months now, I was drinking 5 or 6 bottles of wine a wee, mostly when alone, I always drive when out so drinking was never a problem, but it was my guilty pleasure otherwise. Since mid August I never drink into week and never more than one bottle spread out over Fri to Sun night. Often just half a bottle. I don't have a huge social life so it is easier, plus I live in France where women really don't really drink more than a glass or two even for an all night party. I highly recommend William Porter's Alcohol Explained particularly if you drink to relieve anxiety. It clearly points out the facts about alcohol and even though I disagree with him about the fact ex drinkers can never drink 'normally' it is very motivational. I just set rules and stick to them.

That's fab going anglaise. Did you find it got easier with time? Did you replace alcohol with another vice at all?

Today the urge to gin was strong at 4.30pm. Have resisted tho. A ginger cordial and now a glass of water.

Had a shitty stressful but productive day.

Hi Frouby
I ran a lot (marathons, 10k, trail races) before cutting down on wine and have now added cycling and swimming too so I guess sport is my addiction now! It means I can indulge my chocolate habit as much as I want too which is handy. Despite only having a BMI of 20 I lost 5kg, also helped by no cheese which went so well with the red wine. I run faster as a result of everything, and most importantly am setting a good example to my kids by drinking water at the evening meal now instead of constantly topping up my glass from the wine box😳
I hope you managed to resist the gin

Anglaise, you’re doing really well. It’s a great idea to swap the addiction for a more positive one. I’ve run a lot in the past (half marathons too) and found when I ran I didn’t want to shove toxins into my body, instead keeping it pure and clean. Maybe that’s the way forward again.....
Well, I did it!! I managed a dry night last night!! I know only one, but I feel stupidly proud of myself.

I ran out of wine once? Does that count as running?

I would love to be addicted to exercise or even something more positive. I suspect I have a slightly addictive personality. I used to smoke, have gone through stages in my life where I have been addicted to unsuitable men, alcohol, party drugs, food and also slightly more positively addicted to the gym and was a bit of a workaholic. That was the same time as the gym and party drugs addiction with a couple of bad lads thrown in too so unsurprisingly I crashed and burned out pretty quickly.

I managed to resist the gin last night. Thr urge passes once 6pm has been and gone. I distracted myself with The Chase instead. Which is less likely to give me a hangover.

Dp had a drink last night though and really got on my nerves. Knobhead 😁

Frouby...that’s mega hardcore if despite dp drinking, you still managed to avoid gin-gate!!!!!

Hi all.

Frouby, when you list what you've achieved since 8th January, that is beyond impressive. And losing half a stone, too. What a result.

It's also interesting to read about the way drinking crept up on you. I think that's how it happens to most of us. I never thought: "I know: I'll start drinking four G&Ts every night." One becomes two, and two become three, and it starts to happen every night, and so on.

I was dry last night, and intend to be dry tonight as well as I know I will be drinking tomorrow. I will find it hard, as there's a tiny remainder of the bottle of wine I drank on Sunday (followed by too much whisky, which I hate, but it helped me to convince myself that I wasn't drinking too much as I hadn't had a whole bottle of wine ). I need to lock it up and throw the key away, really. Two days seems to be my maximum at the moment; I need to make sure I'm not just drinking even more on 'wet' nights to compensate.

The weird thing is that I love the first taste, but I know that it's going to end up with me feeling awful. Yet I still do it.

Anglaise, your story is pretty impressive, too. That's a massive reduction. I am going to look now for the William Porter book...

Hi all! First post here. I have just signed up so I can find some support with cutting down on the wine.

My dad was an alcoholic who died of liver cirrhosis aged 50 and I vowed I would never be like him... I now have an almost three year old son (his birthday is this Thursday) and I’m slowly finding myself drinking more and more. I have been having two or three (large!) glasses of wine 4-5 times a week and once a month or so going out with friends/hubby and getting absolutely shitfaced (son is with his grandparents obv) and then spending all day hungover in bed.

I hate the way alcohol makes me feel the next day and I know I’m not being a good mother drinking like this so I’m desperate to try cutting down. Aiming for no more than two drinking nights per week and a maximum of a bottle of wine per week. No more getting blackout drunk on nights out either! Wish me luck!!

Good luck Mrs B. The first step is always the hardest. Do you have alcohol free alternatives to hand? Ginger cordial, lime and tonic and ginger beer with ice have been my lifesavers. And you are not a shit mum. A shit mum wouldn't care enough to try and reduce.

Nothing to report here. Usual 5pm pangs but it is passing quickly these days.

Am beginning to get anxious about spring/summer though. Was sat watching TV about 5.30pm and noticed how the nights are pulling out. And how long they can be. And how tempting it will be to sit outside with a drink or 2.

Ds starts full time school in april (yay). Well full time nursery. 9 til 3pm. I need a plan to reduce the hours between 3pm and 7pm ish. Am planning allotment or ponies or dog walking when the weather is good. Am not sure what I will do when it isn't so good though. I might have to actually have to go to the gym or something 😃.

I definetly need to keep busy though otherwise I will be boredom drinking.

I have two AF days to report - no wine Monday or Tuesday - may even make it three in a row tonight.

Frouby - I can confirm it is tough in Summer, it is around 30C here and a chilled Sauv seems like an excellent idea

Thank you Frouby your comment about me not being a shit mum actually brought a little tear to my eye! I had a successful night, DH asked if I wanted to get a bottle of wine when we were in the supermarket but I said no and stuck to a good old cuppa while he was drinking (he chose Malibu and pineapple though so definitely not my drink of choice!) I will have a look for some good AF alternatives though.

You are all doing so well!! I was going to have my second AF day yesterday but caved in!! Had just over half a bottle of white. Which I convinced myself was good, as it wasn’t a bottle. But in reality it wasn’t food as I wanted to be dry!! I’m out with friends to a cocktail night tonight then as of tomorrow I have family staying for 5 days which always revolves around”anyone for a glass of wine?” Desperate to sort myself out as like you’ve all said..it tastes good to begin with but the guilt tastes very sour!!

woosey get these days out of the way and then start afresh next week. The only thing I would maybe do is keep a rough track of the units you have. It can be quite an eyeopener when you add them up! Or maybe if you don't want to drink every nighr get some tonic or coke and secretly gave soft.drinks.

I am wet tonight. I am working first thing friday morning so didn't want to drink tomorrow night and couldn't wait until friday. Had my 3 g and ts and now on water.

Tomorrow may be a tad difficult 🤣🤣

Good luck Betty, sounds like you have some valid reasons to cut down.
One of the most important things to do is occupy to occupy yourself during the trigger time. In France we finish work later and my trigger time was never before 7pm and never after 8pm so I go running with my club, take swimming lessons, clean out yet another cupboard and in the summer go for a 2 hour bike ride....clean out a cupboard, gardening, anything to avoid relaxing with a drink!
Another good book is the Unexpected Joy of being Sober by Catherine Gray. Although she too advocates sobriety she has some great tips about distracting yourself from drinking.
I find 4 AF days on the trot really helps in cutting down, you lose the habit of evening drinking and also the desire for alcohol.
Setting rules about when and how much you drink really does help you moderate.

And you are not a shit mum. A shit mum wouldn't care enough to try and reduce.

^^ Frouby is, as always, spot on, Betty.

I failed miserably last night (DC all decamped to XH's because we had no wifi), but have been dry tonight. One Becks Blue, which I enjoyed. Tomorrow will be wet, but I know that.
Woosey, it's all the more difficult when you're in situations which mean drink will be available and is part of the "fun". As I keep saying, though, any improvement is a positive thing. Easy for me to say, but less easy for me to stick to.

Anglaise, I need to aim for four days. So much of this is habit.

Thank you so much for the tips Anglaise I cant wait for the summer so we can spend more time outdoors.

I actually read the Catherine Gray book a couple of weeks ago and really enjoyed it. I’ve been torn though whether I just want to reduce my drinking or give it up completely? Somehow not drinking it all seems easier than just having one or two as I seem to have no “off switch”... but the thought of the rest of my life without wine feels a little scary! What are all of your thoughts?

woosey my family are the same, big wine drinkers and they just wouldn’t understand if I said I wasn’t drinking. They would think I was pregnant! That’s actually one of the things that worries me most about cutting down, pathetic as it sounds, how do you explain to your family and friends who know you as the “party girl” that you’re happier sticking to water!

Anglais - that’s a great idea..occupy yourself during the temptation hours. I will try and do that. I find if I have got through dinner without a drink then I’m fine all evening. It’s the habit of cooking with a glass of wine in my hand, then sitting down at the table with a top up!! I actually really enjoy the social element of drinking.
Oldmrsbetty - Id be looking to reduce personally as I do love a glass of wine when socialising. I just need to teach myself that having dinner with Dh each night isn’t classed as socialising
Yes it’s tricky when everyone else in the family are having wine. I really do love the taste of it!!
I went to a gin night last night with friends. I had 3 in total. So not horrific. But went to bed hating myself over it and have woken this morning convincing myself that I’m driving myself towards cancer, my biggest fear. It’s like a self harm thing in my head and I just can’t stop it!! The guilt and anger and hatred I feel for myself is horrid, all around drinking!!
My family arrive today and already they’re discussing food and drink for the next 4 days. Normally I’d be really up for it but I’m feeling toxic inside. Maybe I’ve just begun to train my brain into thinking alcohol is bad. I guess this is the first step??

I have found saying I am not drinking tonight because I am trying to lose weight works! Or just be honest if you want.

It's difficult. Dp drinks most week nights and is always saying 'go on, one won't hurt'. Have just ended up saying I have already had my units for the week, today is a dry day shuts him up.

Felt shitty when I got up. Am actually finding once I get past Monday I look forward to dry nights. Have started working first thing and when not working getting house jobs done. So it's nice to get up with a clear head.

Dry tonight. Wet tomorrow. Have a bottle of wine in the fridge ready for tomorrow and that should be me done for the week.

Hi can i join u all plz? I drink vodka every evening. Sometimes start as early as 4pm. I want to cut down to a Fri & Sat only or even less but just haven't managed. Have read books & gone to a counsellor & still can't cut down x

Hi Renata,

How much do you drink each night. Can you start by reducing quantity each night and then trying to drop a night or two gradually. That’s where I’m at currently. Trying to go from a bottle of wine a night down to half. It’s tough but I’m managing.
Good luck. This thread is fab x

Hi woosey. I drink between 4 & 8 25mls of vodka a night. I will try that & thanks xx

Hi renata

I’m no expert on vodka as I don’t drink it but do you think you could reduce your measures? So have say 15ml of vodka per drink and then you will be cutting down while still having the same amount of drinks. Then when you are happy with that you could either have fewer drinks per night or have a certain number of dry days in a week?

Sorry you are not feeling good today Frouby and woosey xx

All dry last night. Very wet tonight tho, it's bottle of wine oclock at 6pm!

I find switching pretty easy these days. Or easier than it was. What about having a limit in the number of drinks you have then switching to a soft drink or water and tell yourself you can have more vodka if you still want it after the water. I find once I have switched I don't want anymore anyway.