A pregnancy following a recent adoption

[brainmish]

OK- deep breath
We have recently adopted a 12 month old child. We are delighted with him and he is doing really well. Obviously I was so happy to have such a joy in our lives that,after years and years of infertility I got pregnant spontaneously the month he arrived with us. . I am still adjusting to the shock and trying to focus(through the fuzz of early pregnancy exhaustion) on our new delightful toddler. I have told very few people that I am pregnant. Fellow adopters will, I think, understand that I had reached a state of mind where adoption was THE way to have a child and had stopped feeling the constant pain of a lack of biological child. So I am finding the adjustment quite a challenge along with the decisions on ante-natal diagnosis etc.
For me there are so many issues but I would love to know if there is anyone else out there who has had a birth child soon after adopting a young child.
Thanks

It sounds like you are doing the right thing, Good-luck!
Let me know how you get on?

PS
Thanks for the email, tried to mail you but wouldnt let me do it - hence the short but sweet message!

My friends parents tried for 12 years unsuccessfully to get pg so adopted a little boy. They had my friend within a year and her two sisters in the two years after that. Another friend was adopted as was his sister after his parents - one a Fertility expert - tried for many years to conceive. Shortly after adopting the two babies they conceived naturally twice.
Both are really happy families of 6 and you would honestly struggle to guess who was natural and who was adopted. I firmly believe in nurture not nature and I'm sure your wee ones will be happy, healthy and loved massively. Good luck!

Update to those who were concerned.
I have spoken to my social worker who is thrilled for me. She needs to talk with the agency but thinks that as everything is going so well there is no need to be anxious. She cannot second guess the overseas authorities ( it is an ICA) but is highly supportive of us and our situation.
Thank goodness. I am hugely relieved and now focussing on the positive aspects of the pregnancy.
so thanks everyone for your tales and encouragement.

all the best ,
BM

Brainmish, I've been following this thread and feeling really concerned for you. It's such a relief to hear your SW is being supportive. I really hope it all works out well for you and that you have a great future with your lovely babies.

Great news, good luck and enjoy your pregnancy!

Oh Brainmish, I have been following your thread too.

Am so happy that sw is being positive and supportive about your situation.

What a relief for you to have everything out in the open and to be able to begin to look forward to another new addition to your family.

Best of luck x

if your adoption was an ICA from a non-designated country then I guess you are just waiting for the readoption in the UK to go ahead. This is a very different kettle of fish to having a UK placement.

In the eyes of the sending country, you are now the legal parents of the child (so no opinion from them needed) and the authorities here would be on avery sticky wicket taking that child away from you.

The legal status of ICA parents in between a legal adoption overseas and the UK readoption is unclear, but I'd place a bet that HUman rights act alone would cover you!

If you'd said ICA before I would have pitched in to reassure you!

Congratulations.

A different perspective.....
My older brother and I were adopted (different birth parents) and my mum then got pregnant. My younger brother is only 8 months younger than me. Whilst we are close there have been many, many issues between us all and it has been far from easy. I think some of the responses on here are somewhat short-sighted/rose tinted and don't really take into account the child's view. Perhaps, because it is a difficult thing to address, it is swept under the carpet and isn't really spoken about generally.
I'm sure/hope advice and support has moved on since my day and that all will be well for you.
Good luck.

Further update.
Currently we are private fosterers in the eyes of the UK law as the ICA adoption ( from a Hague country) depends on post placements reports up until 6 months following placement.
I did not say too much initially as I was anxious to remain anonmyous but as we have now gained the full support of both our social worker and the director of the agency who have processed the adoption I am beginning to feel more confident.
Perhaps the anxiety is more to do with coming to terms with having a birth child-something I have not expected (or desired) for a many years.
Luckily pregnancy is 9 months and there is time to adjust and make adjustments and look at one's life. It is certainly making us analyse what is important to us and plan to change those things which are less perfect!!So all is well here and,again I thank you all for your support.

BM

I wish you all the best BM. Gosh you have a lot to come to terms with! Be sure to get all the help you need x

Maryz, I'm at the "real" children comment! I have an adopted friend who has two famous ancestors (great-grandfather and great-uncle) and is rightly proud of this. One of her husband's sisters said once that she didn't know what all the fuss was about because "they're not really [your] ancestors"!!!

I wonder how things have worked out for you brainmish. Would be very interested to hear how you are. My story is similar to yours and I have often thought about you.

Congratulations Brainmish! As a sw with many years experience in adoption I just want to say I really don't think you shoul dworry (which you clearly aren't anyway) about telling the sw about your pregnancy. I wonder why people are bringing this up? All is going well with your baby who is placed with you for adoption and the arrival ofa sibling for him will be a very positive thing.

well- here i am all these months later with 2 beautiful boys. the pregnancy went fine and i now have a 3 months old baby. our adopted son ( 2 years old last week) is delighted with him and a very caring big brother. OUr social worker was also delighted and has supported us all the way. Thanks for all the encouraging words. We were very anxious back then but everything has worked out so well for us- we feel blessed. and It is lovely for our son to have younger borther.

Oh congratulations

(I remember reading this at the time-I obviously spend too much time on here )

good luck for the future

congratulations. having just read the whole thread for the first time, i was anxious to get to the end... but what a lovely ending it was may both your boys know how special they are - one being your first child, and the other being your first biological child, i hope you bring each other so much joy.
congrats again.

Fantastic! I hoped everything would continue to work out well for you with officialdom. And it's great to hear that your boys are getting on so well and your DS1 is so fond of his little brother (although from experience you may find that when DS2 gets mobile and can get into DS1's stuff there's a bit more policing to be done... )

Congratulations, you all sound like you're having a fun family life. I'm so happy everything worked out so well.

Many Congratulations on your new arrival. Wonderful news for all of you.
The best gift you could have given your son is this new baby. Brothers forever

congratulations, lovely to hear back form you about how well things are going.

Congratulations!

Congratulations! I've just read this thread and your last post really made me smile x x

Congratulations on both of your new additions. I have nothing to add experience wise but two babies in as many years is really quite exciting! My two are also 14 months apart (oldest two) and the short age gap is fabulous.

Congratulations