Advice to put in a book for adopters?

[TripleTruffle]

A relative has adopted a toddler and I wanted to put together some pieces of advice to include in a gift for them.

What advice would you put in a book?

Hi. That's a nice idea. Adoptive parenting can be challenging and a lot of general parenting advice doesn't apply. So maybe just keep it general.

Respectfully, wouldn’t that be quite weird, unless you’ve also adopted?

I'd have found that that inappropriate however well intentioned, sorry.

Please, buy another gift. Jellycat bunnies are always well received and well cherished by children for many years.

@TripleTruffle

Whilst its a nice idea, adoptive parenting is very different. Your relative will have been on training and will have the support of a social worker.
We do however, really appreciate our new arrivals being celebrated as a new baby would.
Every new mum should have a bunch of flowers, I had a bundle of balloons with Its a boy on them - my son was older at 7 and loved those.
What about a really nice edition of some classic stories. We have lovely editions of the complete works of Paddington, Thomas the Tank and a few others. The sort of books you pass down. There will be lots in the shops with Christmas coming up.

I'd kind of meant the kind of general advice like reminders to be kind to yourself after a tough day, that sort of thing. It was only a small book. One of my friends had a baby shower and we all collated that type of advice with a quote/advice per page; it was cherished and talked about a lot.

In hindsight, having not been in that position myself, I can see it's probably not appropriate.

How about a book of vouchers? So, you could offer a voucher to drop off a meal on the doorstep when the AC moved home? A voucher to take a load of laundry or similar when your friend gets overwhelmed?

I think that would be fine and nice to include your friend in something your group does for people having babies. Just make sure not to include any parenting advice or anything anout adoption eg some people describe adopters as "angels" or say things about how genes don't really matter, and it might land wrong, so just keep it general.

@TripleTruffle
Don't be put off giving a welcome present.

Its just adopters tend to get a bit twitchy when non- adopters start talking about offering advice

I agree. I really loved receiving things that I knew my friends and family would give to any parent rather than just the adoption- focused things so I think the idea is sweet.
Generic advice like ‘it’s ok to take a breath/be kind to yourself/write down the cute things they say/give in to the mess your house will
become’ is nice.
As pp said, just avoid ‘use time out/star charts/sleep training/holding them all the time is bad’ type advice.

If you were looking at other options, I bought a lovely book on Etsy that was like a baby book but for adoption. It has sections for foster carers, introductions, our first year together and I’m so glad I got it.