italian I am pleased that you don't doubt my sincerity. In relation to recovering from past abuse and current thinking, it is different from the advice of the past, partly because the advice about not telling anyone etc had not come from research (it was coming from the social culture of the day), and secondly because the research today is being carried out by a number of psychiatrists and psychologists and much of it is going in the same direction, and there is new information available as "evidence" eg using scans of the brain. It is complicated and this very short summary is not doing it justice, but the information is out there. It is very relevant for adoption. I am only aware of it because one of my dc suffered from a trauma, and rather than accept the advice of the nursery that they had suddenly developed autism, I scoured the net for alternative solutions. The symptoms of autism and trauma can present in a similar way, but with one you are looking at a lifetime of special help, with the other you can recover so there is a huge difference. It is groundbreaking. Now there is more professional help available than before. But this does not lessen the impact of other aspects of adoption such as name changing, or at least, as far as I know that is the thinking and it makes perfect sense to me.
I understand that you find the idea that in the context of the above a child would not be able to recover from a name change to be bizarre, but actually if you look back you will find that quite a few of my posts are about how best to help a child come to terms with a name change. I think the huge chasm between you and I on the subject is that you have said a name doesn't define you,etc etc, and I think it is hard to help a child come to terms with a name change if you do not have an awareness of how serious it can be.
In terms of not accepting advice from professionals, I do think it is dangerous - ie this is not my feeling on the subject but my thinking! - I am not saying you have personally ignored advice, but any attitude that adopters know better is dangerous in my opinion, not because adopters are lesser parents but because most adopters have been given quite a task, given the background of the children, and more decent professional advice is available now than ever before. If you read my post on the legal aspects, you will see that it is in recent cases that the courts have commented on the seriousness of changing the first name.
I don't think I have been condescending, it is more that my passion for the subject probably makes me very boring on the subject, and I don't have much patience for people who cannot remain civil to people who disagree with them.
thomas re lacking social understanding, I didn't misunderstand your post, I was being sardonic. I think that it is bullying to make endless personal comments which turn into character assassinations, eg to accuse someone of not posting in good faith. Unfortunately, your posts appear quite ignorant of the life of adoptive families unfortunately, that is not the case. Try asking yourself why someone may not want to be sharing things on the internet and see if you can come up with some answers all on your own.