Christmas survival thread

[Jellycatspyjamas]

So, I'm thinking we could do with a place to vent about the particular joys of parenting adopted children through the Christmas season. For my two it's our first Christmas together so knowing what Christmas "looks like" to them, minefields to side step and general sensory and emotional overload is stretching my patience to it's limits.

So far this week my 6 year old threw an almighty tantrum yesterday because she wanted a snack, didn't want a snack, wanted tv bit not that tv, had to wear uniform to school, didn't want breakfast but did want cereal. She also cried all the way home from school today for no apparent reason other than I hugged her back when she hugged me.

My 4 year old has asked about birth mum for the first time, his foster carers and "what happens when I need another new family".

I suspect it's the emotional onslaught that is Christmas but I could do with some humour to keep me sane.

What's the most endearing, funny, bizarre or just plain hard reaction you're dealing with. to those of us picking our way through the festive season.

Oh gosh Minty, what’s happened?

Oh minty that sucks. I hope you don't have to stay too much longer at the hospital. I'm not sure that a virtual version of any of those will really help but if I was there in person I'd give you them all. Hang in there

A shot gun may help. Only slightly joking.
DS has mercifully fallen asleep.

Got hand sanitizer in his eye at nursery, he seemed ok but woke up screaming the house down. His poor eye is so sore and he has a massive abrasion on it as well. Just waiting for meds then we can head home but back again tomorrow to see the eye specialist. He was distraught throughout it all and I'm one of the ones pinning him down.
All starts again tomorrow 😞

Sending strength. I’ve had to hold my LO during a tooth extraction so I feel your pain. Absolutely monstrous feeling.

Feeling so horrifically guilty that I didn't bring him straight to the doctor, he was so out of sorts anyway I thought it was just all his anxiety. I'm so shit at this.

Oh god what a terrible day - you're not shot st it st all. If we took our little people to the doctors everytime they were out of sorts we'd never be away from the place. I'm guessing you looked at his eye at the time and it looked ok? What else could you do really - I'm wondering if he's rubbed his eye in his sleep and caused the abrasion?

And remember, once you were aware you took him for medical treatment, you stayed with him, soothed him, made sure his eye was treated, so it'll hurt less. None of that might have happened for him before. In caring for his health you build trust, trust that if he's hurting you'll get help for him and that you'll stay with him through it and that you'll do tough stuff to keep him safe and well.

I've held an ice pack to my screaming child's head before, physically holding him still so I could look at his cut eye - he hated it (and so did I) but he also knows I care for him. Your DS was always going to hate having a sore eye looked at, any child would have reacted the same way - what else could you have honestly done other than hold him down? I hope you've managed to get some sleep and can be kind to yourself today. What s bloody awful time you had.

What jellycat said.

You are a great mum. Hope LO is ok now.

Yep, what jelly said with bells on. You're not doing a shit job, look after yourself x

I'm sending my love and best wishes to you all. I feel so sorry that some of your families have such a hard time at what should be a lovely happy time of year.
My 2 kids aged 10 and 14 are very happy and excited about the whole thing thank goodness, DD. aged 10 still refuses to go and see Santa. (he's creepy apparently) but I think that's pretty normal.

Best of luck to you all and Happy Christmas

Yes, Minty, what they all said. You did watching and waiting - that’s a proper medical procedure. Holby says. ;)

How’s he this morning?

Thanks everyone but please don't be nice to me today, I need tough love!

Sorry for the total thread hijack!!

DS feeling very sorry for himself and alternating between snoozing and crying ☹️ Dreading going back to the hospital today.

He was a very cute reindeer in the play even if he did look like a deer in the headlights.

I had words with someone sat next to me who upon hearing the no photo rule said nah don't get these opportunities very often 😨

I can't read the rest of the nativity thread I'm already mad enough!

Yeah, don’t read it, nothing good will come of you reading it.

Good he’s snoozing. Feeling sorry is probably par for the course.

(That was the not being nice bit.)

I sat on my hands reading the Aibu nativity thread, I can’t articulate just how I feel, so left it some much more eloquent people. I was astounded at just how many people really didn’t understand, or did understand and still insisted on their right to take photos. My BP was definitely up 😡
I thought the suggestion for an education campaign of some sort reasonable. To quote someone “if you know, you know. If you don’t, you don’t.”

Or "if you're a twat you're a twat" 😏

what she said!

minty one of my dc has had two serious spells in hospital at a young age and I have had to part of a team pinning them down while needles are dug around to try to find tiny veins. It is horrendous. And then having to force feed meds at home at times. What made a difference day by day was dc being totally showered with tlc, 100 percent attention, 100 per cent positive, favourite food, favourite telly drawing, curling up, cuddles. My recommendation is to drop the guilt totally and imagine all the things which would make your dc happy instead and do them!

minty, twelve twats ? 😂

How’s LO?

Why the f did I read that thread?!? The lack of sleep and stress has stripped me of patience today and I'm feeling even more sweary than normal!

DS currently clung to my leg in my bed and I'm risking half a cider whilst mumsnetting and admiring stroking my new xmas bedding....the poor woman's self care 😉

8 doses of eye drops per day, not holding out much hope of that happening. I even tried when he was asleep and he rose like the hulk! Back at the hospital early next week. I should just sleep there really, save the hassle of trying to bloody park!

He's basically refused to open his eyes today ☹️

On a positive he's had some bloody brill regression whilst I've piled on the nurturing! He's only recently allowed me to give him a bottle as part of theraplay, he's always held back on the real baby stuff. Today was like having a 10 month old, guzzled a baby bottle, babbling, laying back with bent legs and cooing and lots and lots and lots of really good neck snuggles. Not so great was wanting to be carried everywhere my poor back but I'm taking whatever positive I can out of this situation and he's trust me enough to be my baby 😍

I hope your dc gets better soon.

Christmas survival in full swing today, dispatched DS off with grandma for a couple of hours and I'm lounging in the bath....alone...the water is v hot and there are NO fucking plastic ducks/cups etc or a little voice asking if I'm sad coz my widgie has gone 😊

klaxon He's opened his eye! Still very sensitive to light but he can see out of it and ALLOWED me to put in drops 😱

But are you sad about your widgie?

Good news about his eye though. And even better about the drops. 😀

Mixed feelings about my lost widgie, I think it could be both a blessing and a curse 🤔

You’d earn more.

And do the helicopter

Great news about the eye! Very jealous of your solo hot bath I usually get pity from DD for being hairy but you've definitely earned it