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Adoption

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Original poster

what are the chances of getting a yes for matching panel?

19 replies

Inthebeginning · 16/03/2014 20:44

I'm sure I saw this on another thread but can't find it and need reassurance (and honesty too) what are the chances of getting a yes at matching panel after being linked. I've just finished filling out our matching form and am starting to stress!

OP posts:

odyssey2001 · 16/03/2014 20:55

It is not about statistics. If the link is sound, the paperwork is complete and there is nothing in you PAR that the matching panel would be worried about then chances are everything will be fine. What does your social worker think?

OneOfOurLilkasIsMissing · 16/03/2014 20:56

I think it's about 96%? I heard 94% for approval and 96% for matching

But even when in the remaining cases, an outright no is less common than a deferral because the panel haven't been given enough information or something like that

OneOfOurLilkasIsMissing · 16/03/2014 20:56

I am sure you will be absolutely fine

Original poster

Inthebeginning · 16/03/2014 21:00

She says I should shut up and stop stressing

Thanks lilka. It just feels to good to be true. that after all of this we're going to finally have a little one.
We see his foster carer in three weeks. then 4 weeks after that it's panel.

OP posts:

Italiangreyhound · 16/03/2014 21:18

Hey, Inthebeginning I was going to start a thread like this one! Join me on the stress bench!!!!

Original poster

Inthebeginning · 16/03/2014 21:38

yeah! can we have and on the bench?

OP posts:

Italiangreyhound · 16/03/2014 21:46

Of course!

excitedmamma · 16/03/2014 21:48

I found matching panel so less stressful than approval panel if that helps!! I actually enjoyed it!! I did not enjoy approval panel one bit...

Chair person was soooo lovely... had me in tears even before we went in and then I think we just about had everyone crying in the panel!!

I think if you have got this far, LO's SW is happy then you should be fine - you've done the hardest bit in getting approved in the first place..

Try and enjoy... its all part of the journey... so many more amazing feelings yet to be had!!

Italiangreyhound · 16/03/2014 21:58

Thanks, Excitedmama I am hopeful all will be well for me and Inthebegininning.

Original poster

Inthebeginning · 16/03/2014 22:03

thanks excited. Hopefully I'll feel calmer once we've met f.mum. ......or I'll find something else to fret about!

OP posts:

crazeekitty · 16/03/2014 22:42

Matching panel was really tailored more to the needs of my dd and how I'd cope. I felt really able to answer the questions because I already knew so much about her. I'm sure you'll be the same.

Thepoodoctor · 17/03/2014 08:21

Once you are at matching panel it's not a done deal but it's pretty certain. They wouldn't take you if it wasn't.

What job do you do? I thought of it like taking a paper to the Board - yes they do have the power to make any decision, but 99% of the time they are going to ratify the decision that is being recommended, because all the legwork leading up to that decision has happened before you set foot in the meeting room.

Does that help?

Good luck! I still remember both our matching panels vividly, but it was Ok

mrsballack · 17/03/2014 09:43

I was totally calm at matching panel. I was a wreck leading up to it. We were taken to matching panel by two social workers we'd never met before as our social worker was on leave. They both said that they don't go to matching unless they're certain and if there was any problem it would be a paperwork issue which would be their fault.
We had exactly the same panel for approval and matching and it was nice to see some familiar faces, they all were smiley and said they were really happy for us.
The panel chair actually said they thought they were lucky children to have us. I cried like a baby.

MyFeetAreCold · 17/03/2014 11:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

namechangesforthehardstuff · 17/03/2014 19:38

Inthebeginning are you really worried? It is a stressful time I imagine and it does seem to be taking quite a long time.

I'm familiar with being a worrier though - it's a family trait. Are there any relaxationy things that help you be less of a ball of stress?

namechangesforthehardstuff · 17/03/2014 21:11

Sorry - just assuming you are fretting and worrying because you've mentioned feeling like that before but do tell me to piss off if I'm wrong

Original poster

Inthebeginning · 17/03/2014 21:19

I am worried yes. Our s worker made a throw away comment when they first linked us that lo's social workers had been a bit concerned about our finances. that annoyed me a bit as one of the reasons they said at panel for approving us was that we were financially stable. Buy it's started me stressing. I know rationally that we have a good chance of getting him but I worry so much that everything's failed before, that this is too good to be true. I hate getting so anxious about things!

OP posts:

Original poster

Inthebeginning · 17/03/2014 21:20

x posts. namechange you know me too well!

OP posts:

namechangesforthehardstuff · 17/03/2014 22:40

'had been' worried - note use of past participle. 'they linked us' - yes they did didn't they?

Calm. Deep breaths. Stairgates up. And then you can start proper panicking about sleep and food and friends and other parents and what he ate/didn't eat/won't eat and attachment and PACE and contact and nappies and potties and bathing and sleeping and eating again just for good measure.

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