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Adoption

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

I want my baby back - Panorama

602 replies

Hels20 · 13/01/2014 09:39

I hesitate to put this on the board but would be interested in the views of anyone who watches this - it's tonight on BBC 1 at 9pm.

I hope it gives a balanced account. Then there is the Channel 4 programme on Wednesday T 10pm on Finding a Mum and Dad.

OP posts:
Spero · 16/01/2014 15:30

I am very excited because I have just read an article which says if you have more than 300 followers you are in top 90% of twitter! Nearly there, so feel free to follow all you like

Cc never retweeted me.

drspouse · 16/01/2014 15:34

Do you mean the top 10% spero?

I run our work Twitter account too so have just been looking up geeky things like Klout and retweet rank.

Spero · 16/01/2014 15:37

Er maybe. Numbers are not my forte. Evidently.

Lilka · 16/01/2014 15:37

Wow

Top 90%, that is some acheivement Grin

Lilka · 16/01/2014 15:38

x-post

Spero · 16/01/2014 15:38

I am very interested to see the impact on my Klout score from Sir Martin. Narey re tweeting my wanking joke.

LokiIsMine · 16/01/2014 16:00

Did anyone see this link?

www.communitycare.co.uk/2014/01/15/utterly-undermined-work-purpose-social-worker-responds-john-hemming-mp-family-courts/

It actually hit the nail on the head... All abusive parents feel like they are being treated unfairly.
In fact no abuser or rapist go around with a t-shirt saying "keep calm - proud to be an abuser"......

I mean, it is so obvious that Hemming and Co actually want to attack abuse victims and not to have the crimes reported.
Maybe everybody is waiting for a tragedy to happen before taking action against those charlatans. Very sad ;(

Latinmama123 · 16/01/2014 16:45

"I mean, it is so obvious that Hemming and Co actually want to attack abuse victims and not to have the crimes reported."
A bit over the top don't you think? I don't know JH and Co (whoever you think they are) but nobody wants to attack abuse victims.
Examining each case thoroughly will reduce the number of cases where there was disease and not abuse.

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 16/01/2014 17:08

Latin, I'd have a google of ian josephs before suggesting that is hyperbole if I were you :)

LokiIsMine · 16/01/2014 17:15

LatinMama

I always state: if you don't know the facts, before posting do some proper research. I see that some posters keep disregarding that basic rule of polite posting.

If you read Joseph's comment on headoflegal, one of the last articles, you can understand that what I said is true and why I was not over the top.

Hemming and Co don't care about abused children, victims, animals, etc.

And disease, not necessarily excludes abuse, does it? Plenty of sick children are also abused, so one thing doesn't exclude the other.

Latinmama123 · 16/01/2014 17:26

Beyond I checked his website. I missed the bit about not caring for abused children, victims, animals.
Loki I think I have done more research on the subject that you can imagine, probably more than you. But I see that I am not welcome in this discussion. You do not want to hear different opinions and you prefer to think that there is no smoke without fire and therefore if a child is taken into care it is because he/she has been abused and doctors and SS never, ever make mistakes. So girls keep scratching each others back thinking that there is only one truth.
Once this said, I am sure you are very good adoptive parents and I have work to do.

Kewcumber · 16/01/2014 17:29

I'm not sure who you're addressing that post to Latinmama but I think there are only a few adoptive parents still posting on this thread

nennypops · 16/01/2014 17:35

It's interesting that there is a shared characteristic amongst some posters whereby they accuse those with whom they disagree of believing that the care system is infallible. I have yet to see anyone claim that to be the case, so where on earth does that repeated allegation by people like Latinmama123 come from?

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 16/01/2014 17:39

Yep, thats it, no smoke without fire.

Spero · 16/01/2014 18:48

It is most curious isn't it?

I honestly cannot think of a single solitary person who has EVER said no mistakes are ever made, and I have been all over these threads like a rash since 2011.

Yet this is the allegation made over and over again, in the face of all evidence.

What a curious way of debating.

peacejoy82 · 16/01/2014 18:49

There doesn't have to be a divide. I think there just needs to be more transparency. The idea of parents losing their children, wrongly, is a frightening thought. It happens, this has been proven, many cases have been publicised.

It would be nice, as parents, not to have this worry at the back of our minds 'what if one day it happens to us'. If there was transparency, we wouldn't fear sending our children to school if they have small bruises, and cuts, from falling off their bikes. And mothers suffering depression wouldn't feel afraid to seek help. As a result, maybe less mothers would appear in the papers having taken their own lives (and in some instances their childrens)

There was one case, last year, in that a mother of four threw herself from a building (anyone remember it?) It was reported that she had sought help for depression, and ss had threatened to remove her children. I couldn't help but wonder it that might have pushed her over the edge? She was clutching one of her children's teddy bears when she jumped, and wrote letters about them all being happy together. If she thought she would lose them, and was utterly depressed, who knows in that mindset what was going through her head? I've noticed more stories of mothers taking their own lives and their childrens, and I have never before heard anything like it in my life until the past years. It's usually father's punishing their partners in custody disputes.

If parents are too afraid to seek help for depression, or other problems, the only people that are going to suffer are children. Furthermore, if people are dealing with depression themselves, they may to turn to vices (dependencies), to help with the stress.

All that's needed is more transparency, surely, and parents not being gagged from speaking out about injustices? Then investigations would have to be more thorough.

I will certainly never have another child in the UK unless the law changes.

Lilka · 16/01/2014 18:57

unless the law changes

Changes to what? I asked this before and I'm sorry if I missed but I don't remember getting an answer. What exactly should the law say?

MadameDefarge · 16/01/2014 19:14

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Spero · 16/01/2014 19:22

Madame, I would have a lot more respect for Turnwest as self appointed Crusader Against Vile Bullying if she said that on the thread instead of sending you an abusive PM.

Spero · 16/01/2014 19:26

Peace - I agree it is sad there is such a divide between the different camps when surely we all want the same thing - for every child to grow up, safe, happy and loved.

But this comment

I will certainly never have another child in the UK unless the law changes

Is a wee bit over the top isn't it? Really? You really think things are that bad? On what evidence?

MadameDefarge · 16/01/2014 19:28

Yup Spero.

I have never had a mean PM in all my time on MN. And I don't intend to do anything other than post them on the thread they are relating to.

I have now blocked Turnwest.

MadameDefarge · 16/01/2014 19:28

Enough merailing!

Spero · 16/01/2014 19:33

Peace - here is some evidence that the SW profession does act against those in its ranks who behave badly.

www.communitycare.co.uk/2014/01/13/social-worker-falsified-records-failed-act-disclosure-abuse-struck/#.UtZe2xZ8vkw?cmpid=NLC%7CSCSC%7CSCNEW-2014-0115

MrsBW · 16/01/2014 19:37

I've asked it before and had no answer.

In my early 20's I suffered from depression. This has not proved to be a barrier to adopt.

Why would a child be removed from someone who has suffered from depression to be placed with someone who has suffered from depression?

Confused
MadameDefarge · 16/01/2014 19:43

I would imagine the only reason someone suffering from depression would have their children put on a CP plan would be because the parent couldn't cope with meeting the children's basic needs, food, clean clothes, routine etc.

I also have depression and nobody has ever suggested taking ds. or even contacting social services.

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